Chapter Seven
One Year Later.........
"Will you fucking c'mon?!"
Buffy came running around the corner:
"I'm here!"
"Great, so now we got...six minutes to make it across town."
Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around her:
"Just four, my cranky Slayer, because I'm going to kiss you for two."
"B, c'mon! We gotta get..."
Buffy's lips muffled her comment, and it took only a second before Faith no longer cared that they were going to be late.
As they parted, Buffy kissed the tip of her nose, and as always the action caused Faith's dimples to deepen, which in turn made Buffy's tongue dip into them.
"It won't matter if we're a little late, he knows how I am."
"Yeah, and boy is that a real comfort."
She was mainly kidding, but there was still a small touch of jealousy that he'd gotten there first.
"That's over and you know it. For one thing, he's got man parts, and although those can be quite nice, I prefer a different set-up now."
She smiled as she kissed Faith, nipping at her bottom lip as she pulled away.
"And then of course, there's the fact that I'm in love with somebody else."
"Anybody I know?"
"I think maybe you do. She's the sexiest, most wonderful person I've ever met. She's smart and funny and sweet and beautiful, and I love her so much it takes my breath away every time I see her."
"Fuck, she sounds hot. Maybe I oughta look her up."
"Forget about it, F. She's all mine."
They held hands as they went down the stairs into the lobby, the spot where Giles and Willow had chosen to look over a huge mountain of papers. The counter was covered, as was every other available surface, and Willow was all smiles when she looked up and saw them:
"You guys leaving now?"
"Yeah, Her Highness here made us late."
"Sorry, but some people need time to make themselves look presentable."
Faith looked at her like she'd gone crazy:
"Yeah, well that's not you. You look beautiful all the time, so no clue why ya gotta bother with all that shit."
Giles walked over to them and Buffy reached out eagerly:
"Thanks, Giles!"
He deliberately bypassed her outstretched hand to deposit the keys with Faith.
"Promise to treat your baby like she was mine."
"Hey, my hand was out first!"
He went back to his papers, a long-suffering look on his face:
"Yes it was Buffy, but as I'm very much desirous of having my car returned to me in one undamaged piece, I feel it best to be prudent."
"No worries, G-Man. Let's motor, B."
Buffy was furious:
"I was a bad driver, but that was years ago! I'm very good at it now...tell him, Will!"
Willow resembled nothing so much as a convict caught in the spotlight as she tried to scale the wall:
"Uh...well yes, you could be called a ‘very good' driver now...I mean, if you were being graded on a very generous curve...which I am more than willing to do because of the whole ‘best friends' thing."
"Will!"
Faith took Buffy firmly by the arm and began pulling her along:
"Here we go, B."
"So I slightly bumped into a pole last time. Like none of you have ever done that!"
Faith nearly shoved her out the door as Buffy showed no signs of going on her own.
"I cannot believe her! What a traitor!"
"Yeah, Red's a real piece of work, alright."
Faith held onto her with one hand, opened the car door with the other, and after a slight push, Buffy slid in ranting and raving the whole way. It took her nearly five minutes to get over it, and Faith spent that time trying to decide if she should slug her or kiss her to get her to shut the hell up. Before she could settle on her decision, Buffy finally sighed and relaxed. At the light, Faith leaned over and kissed her anyway.
"What was that for?"
"I gotta have a reason?"
"No."
The light changed and Faith hit the gas. Her reason would have been lost in the wind if Buffy hadn't been a Slayer:
"'Cause I fuckin' love you."
Buffy smiled and leaned back against the headrest:
"I can't wait to see him, can you?"
"Yeah, not the same talking on the phone. Plus I'm hoping to get him to agree to move here."
Buffy was surprised:
"You are?"
"Been thinkin' about it, and why not? Guy left because of you, but you're both over that now, so why shouldn't he come back? Not like we can't use the help."
"You talk to him way more than me. Do you think he would?"
Faith laid on the horn as someone pulled out in front of her:
"Dipshit! No guarantee, but he's lonely for sure. Never got over losing his crew, and it's not good for him to be alone all the time."
"No, it's not. Everybody needs somebody, no matter how tough they are."
Faith looked at her:
"Oh yeah, that's way subtle, B."
Buffy laughed:
"What?"
"You're such a little shit, always gotta get your own way."
"Of course I do. Besides, what fun would our lives be if I didn't?"
"No argument here. So anyway, I wanna bring it up when we see him. Ya with me?"
"One hundred percent."
Buffy was suddenly jerked forward, her hands hitting the dash as Faith slammed on the brakes, stopping the car on a dime.
"Fuck me, it's our lucky day!"
"There is no way you can fit this car into that spot."
"Whatcha wanna bet?"
"Faith..."
"C'mon, Golden Girl. What's on the line?"
"Do you always have to..."
A horn honked behind them and Faith looked back over her shoulder:
"Fucking go around, numb nuts. We're parkin' here!"
When she turned back to Buffy, there was a gleam of excitement in her eyes.
"Tell ya what, I cram this baby in there without causing any damage, I get to tie your ass up and do whatever I want to you."
"What? No! How many times do I have to tell you I don't..."
"So you're a chicken. Shot your mouth off and now ya ain't got the balls to back it up."
Buffy's shoulders straightened and she suddenly looked like The Slayer:
"I am not a chicken."
"Bwawk, bwawk, bwawk...Buffy is a..."
"Fuck you, F. Fine, what do I get when I win?"
"You decide."
It didn't even take her an instant.
"A romantic night out at a real restaurant with you all dressed up."
"What? No fucking way! I don't wanna dress up, we just did that..."
"Six months ago, and now who's a chicken?"
Faith looked indignant, and then her trademark smirk appeared:
"Oh B, you are so gonna beg."
"We'll see."
"Bet your ass, we will. Guess ya forgot I'm from Boston."
"And?"
"And ya gotta know how to take advantage of the space ya get, baby."
Buffy rolled her eyes:
"What does hotwiring a car have to do with parking it?"
"Ha, ha. Least I always had wheels when I needed'em"
"Yes, nothing like a stolen car to brighten up the day."
Now it was Faith who rolled her eyes:
"Okay Miss Goody Two Shoes, gimme a kiss for luck."
"And why should I do that when I don't want you to win?"
Another car honked and Faith swung around in her seat:
"There's two other fucking lanes. Pick one, asshole."
She turned back to Buffy with a big smile on her face:
"Know we got a bet, but you're my girl. Ya gotta wish me luck, it's in the rulebook."
"Fine, come here."
They kissed, and as always it escalated rapidly. The blast of a truck horn jarred them apart, and Faith wasn't exactly happy at the interruption.
"What?!"
A man leaned out of the truck window, gesturing angrily:
"Wanna move the ‘Dykemobile'?"
"Yeah, be happy to shove it up your ass."
He sneered at her:
"Guess you must be the man."
"Somebody's gotta be. You sure as fuck don't qualify."
"Bitch!"
He honked again and roared past them.
"Okay B, here goes nothin'."
**************************************************
Angel greeted them enthusiastically, nearly crushing each of them in turn as he hugged them close. He'd already ordered their drinks, teasing Buffy that he knew she'd take forever to get ready.
"I thought I'd better get things started, just in case. So did you guys see what was causing all the commotion out front?"
Buffy laughed as Faith scowled.
"That was us, or Faith, to be more specific."
He looked concerned:
"Did you get into a fight or..."
"Was trying to park."
Buffy couldn't contain her glee, not that she tried very hard...or at all.
"Angel, if you need any tips on parallel parking, well did you know that Faith is from Boston?"
"Shut up, B. Almost had it, and you fuckin' know it."
"And if we'd been playing horseshoes, you'd be the big winner. As it is, I'm trying to figure out where we should go shopping for your dress."
Faith almost choked and ended up dribbling beer all over her shirt:
"'Dress'? No fucking way! I never said anything about a dress!"
"Well, that's how girls dress up, so..."
"I'm not wearing any goddamn..."
Angel's face was completely deadpan:
"Buffy, can you be sure to send me a picture? I'd love to get it blown up and framed."
"Both of you can fuck right off."
Faith began pouting, and Buffy leaned over and kissed her. She refused to reciprocate until Buffy's hand trailed its way discreetly between her legs. Faith moaned softly, her irritation gone.
"Ahem...Uh, so..."
Buffy blushed:
"...Sorry, Angel."
"Yeah, Soulboy. Wasn't trying to give ya a show."
"Don't apologize, I'm glad to see you guys so happy. It's way overdue."
"Yeah, well ya know how B always drags her feet. Finally got her to come around."
The meal went well, and they chatted happily for hours like the old friends they were. After a while, Buffy just sat back quietly and enjoyed watching the closeness between the two great loves of her life. It wasn't often she saw either of them so happy and relaxed, and it was a sight she couldn't get enough of.
Only Faith could make Angel laugh as if he didn't have a care in the world, his whole face becoming animated as they teased back and forth. On her part, Faith was totally at ease, her body language making it clear that she trusted him implicitly, her mask and walls nowhere in sight.
Buffy couldn't believe how far Faith had come. Their relationship had taken time and work and it was still evolving, but Faith had made huge strides in accepting the intimacy that came with being in love.
In the beginning of their one month trial period, Faith still left each night. One week into it, Buffy asked her if she could try to stay, and Faith looked unhappy and apprehensive.
"Stay here...with you?"
"Well yeah, I thought maybe you could see what it's like."
"Yeah...guess I could...maybe...for a while."
So they'd made love and when it was over, Faith stayed for nearly an hour, lying ramrod stiff on her side of the bed. When Buffy finally dared to move closer and lay her hand on Faith's stomach, she moved away, clearly uncomfortable. After a beat, she started to sit up:
"Faith, please don't go."
"Feelin' sorta closed in."
"What if I move back over here?"
Buffy slid back to her side of the bed quickly.
"B, think maybe I should just..."
"I can even go further. Look, I'm way over..."
Buffy fell off the bed, landing on the floor with a thud and a crash as she hit the nightstand on her way down.
"Ow."
She looked up to see Faith peering down at her over the edge of the mattress. She was grinning, her dimples on display and her eyes lit up with the laughter she was trying to stifle.
"You okay?"
"For the most part."
"So uh...that as far as you can go, B?"
"Yeah, I think that's it."
Faith extended her hand and helped Buffy back up onto the bed.
"Ya know it's weird."
"What is?"
Faith pulled her down on top of her:
"Was feeling pretty freaked, but then when you were gone, I kinda missed ya."
Buffy laughed:
"I missed you too."
They laid there in silence for a few minutes, then Faith began chuckling:
"If you're gonna do somethin' funny every time, well no way am I gonna leave."
"Oh I see, I just need to injure myself to make you stay."
"What? You sayin' that's not normal?"
Buffy squirmed around until she'd managed to place herself between Faith's legs:
"Hmm...Maybe I didn't make myself clear before...I don't give a damn about normal, I just care about you."
Faith smiled, but then her face became serious:
"B? I'm sorry it's so..."
"Shhh...You don't have to apologize or explain. You can go when you need to, I'm fine with that. I was just hoping you could maybe try staying to see how you liked it."
"Well, turns out it's not so bad, ‘specially if you're gonna be stayin' right there."
Buffy smiled and began moving in a rather enticing way:
"I think that can be arranged."
The days seemed to fly by, and Faith found to her great surprise that she could do a lot more than she thought she could. Buffy was easy to be with, so easy that sometimes Faith forgot it was supposed to be an impossible situation. In fact, the only thing that seemed truly impossible was not being insanely happy, pretty much every minute of every day.
Buffy understood what Faith was feeling, sometimes it seemed even before Faith knew that she was feeling it, and she was always extremely patient. She applied no pressure, merely offered up suggestions and took baby steps as she guided them along. Faith knew she was getting sucked in deeper and deeper, but for some reason the gentleness of the trap being laid made it that much easier for her to handle.
She still "freaked" more than either of them liked and had to take off for a while, but she quickly learned to love being cuddled up in bed with Buffy. Instead of feeling trapped, she started feeling safe, safer than she ever had in her entire life. Buffy loved her, there was no doubt about it, and Faith was beginning to see firsthand how that was nothing but a good thing.
By the time the thirty-first day rolled around, Faith knew she wasn't going anywhere.
"So F, does this mean that maybe you'd be willing to..."
"Means I'm in love with you and I got a lotta shit to learn."
Buffy picked her up, kissing her again and again as she laughed and yelled with pure happiness.
"I told you we could do it! We'll just keep plugging away and it'll all work out, you'll see. God, I love you, Faith."
"Yeah? Had no clue."
That had been a wonderful moment, but Buffy pulled her mind back to the present and back to the beautiful woman who was laughing and swearing as she told Angel some ridiculous story. She was so amazing, so impossibly brave and strong that sometimes Buffy could only shake her head in wonder. This miracle loved her, and Buffy had never been happier.
Yes, they still had problems, Faith still had issues, but they worked on what they could and accepted what they couldn't change. Faith still sometimes had to leave, but now she usually just left for a few hours, not days, and Buffy knew there was nothing she could say or do that would make that urge disappear completely.
She didn't like it, but she accepted it and believed that one day it would go away and leave them in peace. And if it didn't? Well, then they'd deal.
Faith's past had made her who and what she was, and although Buffy could repair some of the damage, there was no way she could fix it all. She wished she could, but she knew she had to accept her own limitations and more importantly, she had to let Faith be Faith. That was the deal and that was who she wanted anyway.
There was nothing good to be gained by trying to shove Faith into a mold she couldn't fit into, and Buffy was way too smart to try something so stupid. Besides she wasn't in the relationship to try and "save" Faith, Faith didn't need saving. She needed to be loved, and that was something Buffy found extremely easy to provide.
They were happy together, deliriously so, and Buffy knew they had a lifetime to get into whatever they needed to get into. Faith didn't like to talk about her past, but slowly she was starting to open up a little. Buffy wanted to know everything of course, but she could wait. Pushing Faith was not the answer, it would never be the answer, and Buffy knew that.
She loved Faith and she was there for her, whenever and however she was needed. Faith was gradually getting more comfortable with sharing her feelings, and Buffy knew it was only a matter of time before she totally confided in her. One day she would learn what the nightmares were about, she would learn what traumas had occurred in Faith's childhood that had made her who she was. She would wait patiently, loving what Faith gave her now and every step along the way, and she would hope that "somewhere down the line" came sooner rather than later.
Faith ordered coffee for the three of them, and when it arrived, Buffy could sense her nervousness. Obviously it was time to bring up the subject of the big move, and Faith took a sip of her drink and then just went for it:
"So Angel...wanna talk to ya about something."
"Sounds serious."
"Well yeah, kinda. But not ‘bad' serious, just something you're gonna wanna think over."
"Okay."
"Me and B were talking, and we want ya to move here."
Angel looked stunned, which as Buffy remembered looked a lot like his normal expression, unless you knew how to look at him.
"'Move here'?"
"Look, don't answer right away, okay? Let me give ya the advantages."
Faith was talking a mile a minute, holding onto Buffy's hand tightly for support.
"...and we could really use you. We've got all these untrained Slayers just pouring in, and Giles needs a guy like you on the business end."
"Giles wants me to move here?"
"Yeah, I mean he's not against it. And you'd be great with the new girls, could give'em the vamp side of things, ya know? No way to beat that kinda training."
He stirred a spoon around in his untouched coffee before answering:
"I don't know, I mean I've got things set up in..."
"C'mon, Soulboy. We could really use you here, and you'd..."
"I can't just pick up and move. I've got a life there, Faith."
She wanted to put it delicately, but the stubborn look on his face caused her to say it straight:
"Angel, what the fuck do you really have? You're all alone in some dumpy rat hole, beatin' the shit outta yourself every day ‘cause you think you got everybody killed."
He visibly flinched, and Buffy quickly spoke up:
"What Faith means is that we'd like it if you were here. We miss you and there's a space you could fill. It's not good for you to be alone, and we're kind of concerned about you."
"...Look, I'm fine. I'm doing good work and I don't think..."
Faith wasn't buying it:
"What about the guilt thing?"
And then he was pissed:
"I think maybe you'd better back off now."
"Yeah, well ya got that all fucked up too. I know what I'm talkin' about, and you know I do. You can puff up and try to look all tough and scary, but I'm not stopping. Shoulda said this shit a long time ago."
Buffy tried to get her to slow down, but Faith shrugged her off:
"You didn't kill Gunn or Fred or Spike or Wes or the blue chick, and you sure as shit didn't kill Cordelia and Connor."
Angel tossed some bills on the table and slid his chair back:
"It was good to see both of you again."
"Soulboy, you try and walk outta here, I'm gonna try and make you stay."
"That's your choice."
Buffy stood up first before he could fully rise to his feet, her hand on his shoulder forcing him gently, but firmly back into his seat.
"Angel, I know this is hard, but please at least promise us you'll think about moving here."
He looked her in the eye, and for a minute it was just like old times. She could read him perfectly, knew exactly how he was feeling, and her heart ached for him:
"There's nothing to think about, Buffy. I know you guys mean well, but I don't..."
"You're so full of shit. Christ, why'd I ever buy any of your crap? What about what you told me, huh? That it's never over for us, that we gotta fight for redemption every single day?"
It was like she'd flipped a switch. Angel was furious and Buffy stayed where she was, ready to restrain him if she had to.
"I am fighting for redemption!"
"By running out, saving somebody in the night, then hauling your gutless ass back to your hole in the ground? You're supposed to be a hero, you're ‘Angel', for fuck's sake! Instead you keep torturing yourself for something that's not even your fault, and what? I'm supposed to just keep my mouth shut and act like I don't see it? Well fuck you, Angel."
She stood up and leapt over the railing, landing lightly on the sidewalk. She never looked back as she walked off in the direction of the car, at least that's where Buffy hoped she was headed.
Angel sat there saying nothing, and Buffy waited a minute before she spoke up:
"She loves you, Angel."
"I know that."
"What you're doing to yourself isn't good."
His silence was his answer, so she reached out and took his hand in hers:
"I love you too."
"I know you do."
"We're worried about you, and I think maybe we should be."
He raised her hand to his lips:
"Yeah, I guess maybe you should."
She sat down in the chair next to his, saying nothing. They kept holding hands as they stared up at the moon, letting the night breeze wash over them.
"Buffy, I can't risk getting attached to new people. I have to go it alone now, it's the only way I can make it through."
"I get that Angel, really I do...but that's totally wrong. You told me yourself you had that same attitude when you first went to L.A. and that it took Doyle to get you to see just how dangerous..."
"They're dead, Buffy! D-E-A-D! Every last one of them, even Doyle with his bright and shiny connection to The Powers. Great advice he had to give, just perfect."
They sat silently until Buffy broke the uncomfortable truce:
"I wonder how far gone you must be to be so self-centered."
"What?"
"Or is it just because you don't talk to anyone anymore, and you've forgotten how to consider someone else?"
"What are you talking about?"
Her voice was calm, but her eyes were blazing with anger:
"Jesse, Ford, Ms. Calender, Angel, Faith, Mom, Tara, Anya, Spike, so many Potentials and assorted friends I was supposed to protect and save. I've even died three times myself, and you're going to talk to me like I don't know how it feels to lose people I care about?"
The shame on his face did not take long in arriving:
"I'm sorry, Buffy. You know I didn't mean it like that."
"But that's just the thing, Angel. You did mean it like that. You've gotten so wrapped up in your guilt and pain, you can't see anything else. And that's where the danger is, because the more you remove yourself from the world and the people in it, the easier it is for you to treat us like we don't really matter, like our petty little lives mean nothing compared to yours."
They were quiet again, and this time it was Angel who eventually broke the silence:
"All right, I'll think about it. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to give it a try. I'm not promising anything though, we'll have to see."
"That sounds fair."
"Could you tell Faith I'm sorry?"
They headed outside, his hand still firmly grasped in hers.
"You should tell her yourself. Come by tomorrow before you leave town."
He looked uncertain:
"I could, but I don't want..."
"I'll talk to her. There won't be a big scene, I promise."
"Okay, good. I hate it when we fight, and I really don't want to leave it like this between us."
"Want to come for lunch?"
"That'd be perfect. I need to be on the road by 2:00."
They lingered on the sidewalk, reluctant to part.
"You're good for her, Buffy. I've never seen her so happy."
"Well she's more than returning the favor."
He smiled, the rare one that made him look like a goofy little boy.
"It's great you guys found your way to each other. Makes me believe in miracles."
"Me too. I have no idea how I got so lucky, but I'm not asking any questions."
"You really look beautiful, Buffy. Like you've finally found what you were always searching for."
"I have, there's no doubt about it. What I'd like now is to see that happen for you."
His smile was gone, but he gave her a small laugh:
"I don't think the odds are very good on that one."
"Hey, you just said you believe in miracles. You can't change your mind that fast."
"No, I guess I can't. Okay, you'd better catch up to Faith before she gets herself into a street brawl."
"Sure you don't want us to help you out tonight?"
He gave her a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek:
"I think you already did."
"I meant with your case."
"No, just doing some surveillance, but thanks for the offer. Besides, I'm sure you two have other, much better plans."
"A lady never kisses and tells. So we'll see you tomorrow?"
"I'll be there."
He gave her another kiss:
"Can you give that one to Faith for me?"
"First thing when I see her."
"Thanks. Goodnight, Buffy."
She watched as he strode off, disappearing into the darkness like the creature of the night he was. His sadness was a hard thing to witness, but she was confident that they could get him to move. Faith was right, he desperately needed to be around people who loved and cared about him.
When she got back to the car, Faith was sitting on it, and somehow she was doing it violently. She was seated, leaning against the windshield with her arms folded behind her head and her legs stretched out in front of her on the hood. She looked to be the very picture of relaxation as she stared up at the night sky, but Buffy could see she was poised to strike out in an instant.
"Hey, I'm back."
"...Yeah, so I see."
Buffy walked over to the driver's side of the car and stood there waiting.
"He alright?"
"Yes. He's coming over for lunch tomorrow."
She leaned in and kissed Faith on the cheek:
"He told me to give you that."
"...Guess I shouldn't have walked off."
Buffy said nothing until Faith met her eyes:
"Probably not, but I guess it was better than staying there and punching him."
"I just...I just didn't know what to do, ya know? He's so tough on himself, and losing everybody...Well, he can't keep shouldering the blame."
"I know. We'll get him to move here, and that will help a lot. Don't worry, he can't fight us both and win."
Faith smiled and sat up on the edge of the car, her legs dangling on either side of Buffy.
"How's it you can always make me feel better?"
"Because I'm your girl and I love you."
Faith leaned down and kissed her tenderly.
"Bet your ass you are."
She tried to straighten up, but Buffy pulled her head back down and delivered a much more passionate kiss, one that left them both a little dazed.
"So what do you say, F? Wanna go home and make love all night long?"
"Hmm...Yeah, okay, if I gotta."
She jumped down, pulling Buffy as close to her as she could:
"B?"
"Uh-huh?"
"You make my whole life worth living. Never imagined I could be this happy."
Buffy felt the tears welling up:
"I love you so much, Faith."
Buffy suddenly found herself being hoisted into the air, then dumped unceremoniously into the passenger seat.
"Hold that thought ‘til we get home!"
Buffy smile was full of promise:
"Hmm...Yeah, okay, if I gotta."
Faith grinned as she revved the engine:
"Yeah B, ya gotta."
"Then consider it done, F."
