Chapter Four

Faith was doing her best not to look sullen, but it was hard. She kept telling herself that at least it wasn't "Formal Night", but since "Smart Casual Night" sucked just fine all by itself, she didn't exactly see how the official title mattered. Her tan pants, or pardon her all to hell – her tan slacks – were stupid, even though Buffy swore they were cut perfectly and made her look good. Her white shirt…blouse, was even stupider, but at least she'd figured out how to fix it up a little. She'd unbuttoned about twenty thousand buttons and was feeling pretty good until she came out of the bathroom and Buffy had insisted on buttoning up all but the top three.

"Faith, you can't look like an uncomfortable hooker at dinner."

"Be a big step up from how I feel."

"You look really nice, so stop being silly. Besides, you only have to wear this for dinner, then we'll come back and change for patrol."

"What? Ya don't wanna wear your flower dress to do Slayer shit?"

"It's so pretty I'd like to, but four out of five Slayers recommend stylish, yet practical pants instead.  Now come on, walk me to dinner and try to look happy."

Faith didn't miss how Buffy tucked her arm through hers, letting Faith lead.

"And besides, it won't be long before you'll be getting your turn-down chocolate. There's plenty of good stuff to look forward to tonight even though it's a Monday."

Faith visibly perked up. Buffy was right: it wasn't like she was headed to her execution or stuck with Kennedy's company. It was just dinner, and she was definitely hungry and ready to eat. The night didn't have to be a total loss of loser stuff. There were plenty of good things coming: food, chocolate, getting out of her clown costume, and then maybe, just maybe, finally getting to do some real Slayer business.

As for dressing up, she knew they couldn't keep going to the same place. They were supposed to be getting noticed by as many people as possible and that meant tonight they were eating in the Vista Dining Room. It was a lot fancier than the Lido Restaurant, but the dress code still wasn't formal and Faith was thanking her lucky stars for that.

Besides, wearing slacks, a blouse, and light brown sandals weren't the worst things she'd ever done in the name of her job. And even though she felt way less than casual or smart in her getup, well, being a Slayer wasn't a job for sissies. These kinds of situations were why they paid her the big bucks…or why they would once she tore Giles a new one for getting her into the current mess she was in.

The craziest part of the whole deal was that even though Faith would have bet money that Buffy would have teased her relentlessly about her outfit, Buffy had actually been really good about it. She'd gone out of her way to set Faith at ease: helping her pick out which clothes to wear, helping her get into them, and complimenting her repeatedly and easily.

"You look great, Faith. If you'd just stop scowling, no one would even know anything was wrong."

"Yeah, but…"

"But nothing. You're absolutely beautiful and you could wear a paper bag and look stunning. It's one of the reasons I married you."

That comment had made Faith laugh, and with the promise of turndown chocolate and demon killing looming large, she felt way better about dressing like a loser. Besides, she was undercover, it wasn't like she was really a loser, not like Buffy was. Although if looking like that was "losing"…well, it just wasn't, plain and simple.

Buffy looked like just what she was: the very definition of pretty, and it was a responsibility she carried easily for every other supposedly pretty girl in the world. She was also exactly what she didn't look like: the toughest bad ass on the planet, and she wore that just as well as she wore her quasi-fancy dress with the little flowers all over it. As far as Faith could tell, Buffy was nothing short of amazing in every possible way.

Somehow the colors in her dress brought out the green of her eyes, and Faith had never seen that particular shade before, not anywhere. It was so unique that it was hard to look away from. Warm, inviting, and seeming to promise the answer to some great mystery if only Faith would stare into it long enough. She forced herself to stop.

"You look great, B."

"Really?"

She said it happily, but shyly too, and Faith laughed.

"Yeah, like it's some big surprise."

They walked to the elevator and began their journey down to the main deck. It didn't take long for it to become crowded as they stopped at each floor to pick up more passengers. They edged closer to make room, and two floors into it, Buffy sighed and leaned her head onto Faith's shoulder.

She smelled like flowers blowing in a sun drenched field, and Faith inhaled deeply before kissing the top of her head.  She wrapped her arm around Buffy's waist, pulling her tight against her, and Buffy smiled as she fit snugly against Faith and watched the lighted numbers descend.

The Neptune Lounge concierge – Stan, Buffy's new best friend, although still on the suspect list – had made them some great reservations. They were seated right away at a private table with a view on the upper level, although the ocean wasn't really seeable. It looked like outer space, all a peaceful blackness as far as they could see, but the restaurant itself was beautiful and the nearby outside area was festively lit.

Everywhere they looked there were women laughing, drinking, eating, and just generally enjoying themselves. Soft music played, and although it wasn't anything that either Slayer would ever listen to on her own, it was the perfect soundtrack for the romantic setting. Buffy was clearly excited as she looked around.

"This place is so pretty. I love that it's two-stories and look at how beautiful the ceiling is. It's just like the stars up there."

"Yeah, but don't act like it's got the penguin statues at the pool beat."

Buffy laughed as she peered down over the railing:

"No, those are a whole level of ridiculous that nothing else can ever touch."

She was so cute, and Faith knew anybody in love would find her irresistible. She leaned over and kissed her, capturing one of her hands as she pulled back slowly.

"Guess it was worth gettin' dressed up so you could…"

The waitress appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Good evening, ladies. My name is Shonda and I'll be your primary server this evening. May I start you off with a drink?"

She was cute with short dark hair and even darker eyes, and when Buffy flashed her a full powered "Buffy" smile, Shonda smiled back.

"I'd like something fruity and fun. What would you recommend?"

"Jack Daniels for me, and so's ya know, Shonda: she's a real lightweight."

Shonda laughed:

"Got a sister like that, so I know just the thing. I'll be right back with your drinks."

She left to fill the order and Buffy looked casually around the room.

"I see several people I recognize."

"Recognize the big winner from the blackjack table today?"

"Hmm…no, I don't see her anywhere."

"B, ya really think this is the time and place to fuck with me?"

Buffy looked at her, taking in the threatening glare that wasn't very effective since Faith's dimples were already on display.

"Oh right, that was you, wasn't it? You cleared…how much again?"

"Three hundred and ninety seven fucking dollars, baby."

"I have to admit it's impressive, especially if I forget how much you lost yesterday."

"Hey, I cleared at least a couple hundred, so give it up."

Buffy leaned over and kissed her as ordered.

"Happy now?"

"Yeah, feeling pretty good."

She held Buffy right where she was and nuzzled into her neck.

"You see'em, B?"

"Yep, they're at stupid o'clock looking around for us."

"Anybody else actin' shady?"

Buffy kissed her on the cheek and sat back.

"Just us."

"They asking the check-in guy?"

"Uh-huh. Carmen's smiling big and slipping him some money."

Faith wanted to look, but she couldn't risk turning around.

"They getting tailed?"

"Well, there's a sex slave trading demon behind them. Do you think that means anything important?"

"B..."                                        

"I'm not an idiot, I think I'd mention if they were being followed."

"Did I say you…"

"Buffy! Faith! Hi!"

"Smile, Faith."

With fake smiles in place, they watched as Nancy and Carmen approached their table.

"What are the odds we'd run into you guys?"

"Well, Carmen, since there's only like five rest…Ow!"

Buffy's answer smoothly covered Faith's reaction to the kick she'd delivered under the table:

"'Wow' is right, Faith! It's so crazy!"

Nancy looked longingly at the two empty chairs at their table:

"We're dying to eat here, but we couldn't get a reservation. Carmen talked us in the door just so we could get a look at the place."

"You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

Carmen flashed Buffy every single one of her blindingly white teeth:

"Really? I don't know…We'd hate to intrude, Buffy…and Faith."

"Yeah? Then see ya aro…Ow!"

Buffy laughed loudly after she delivered another kick, and coupled with the commotion created by Shonda's timely arrival, Faith's yelp seemed to go unnoticed.

"Yep, our drinks are here, Faith! She just gets so excited; she loves to drink so much."

All eyes turned to Faith, the Alcoholic.

"Yeah, but not to the point of bein' a drunk or hittin' my wife upside the head."

"Sorry, baby, that came out wrong."

Shonda smoothly moved on:

"A Jack Daniels, and for you my hometown specialty: a 'Hurricane'."

Buffy smiled:

"Ooh, it's all pink and happy looking."

She took a sip:

"And delicious too!"

"I thought you'd enjoy it. Shall I bring two more place settings?"

Nancy looked at the newlyweds hopefully:

"We don't want to bother…"

"Faith and I would love to have dinner with you."

"Then that's settled! Ladies…"

Faith had no idea why the idea excited Shonda so much, but it obviously did. Before Faith could get up to sit next to Buffy, Carmen claimed the seat, leaving Nancy the chair next to Faith. Shonda took their drink order, then disappeared as if life were nothing but grand.

"Thank you; this is so nice of you to do."

"It's our pleasure, isn't it, Faith?"

The look in Buffy's eye was a clear reminder that they were on the job, but Faith found that fact didn't really make it any easier not to reach across the table and smack the shit out of Carmen.

"Yeah, what B said."

The meal went great. They ordered delicious food, the service was perfect, the conversation never ebbed, and Faith could feel the headache trying to build behind her eyes. The problem was the same one it had been that afternoon when they'd first met Carmen: She had the hots for Buffy.

The day had started off as a virtual repeat of the day before. They were still out at sea and they began with a leisurely breakfast, followed by lounging away the morning hours at the pool before retreating to their cabin for lunch. Afterwards they'd strolled around the ship, making it all the way up to the uppermost deck as they completed their investigation from the night before.

They leaned on the railing, just enjoying the view.

"Pretty up here, yeah?"

"It's beautiful, Faith, and what a breeze."

"Blow ya right overboard if you're not careful. What do ya think?"

"Yep, it's almost like they're deliberate hand and foot holds."

They both looked down at the side of the ship and the trail that seemed to lead to a window or door of some kind on the Navigation Deck.

"Be a hard climb, 'specially with a knocked out woman with ya."

"Yeah, but a Slayer or demon could probably manage."

Faith nodded, then looked around:

"I could head down for a looksee."

"In broad daylight and with people all around?"

"Yeah, guess not."

They stared out at the ocean for a while.

"Seems like a stupid way to go though. Gotta be an easier place."

"Agreed. We can study the blueprints tonight before we head out for patrol again."

"So we've done all we can for now?"

"I suppose, I mean…Hey!"

"Let's motorvate!"

Faith grabbed her hand and headed for the elevator:

"Where are we going?"

"Casino! With the shit luck I had yesterday, I oughta clean up today."

It had all been great at first. Faith had managed to talk Buffy into playing too, explaining the rules and helping her place her bets, and when Buffy won her first hand she went insane. She yelled as she leapt from her chair, did some weird and lame dance that had the dealer laughing her ass off, then kissed Faith passionately. She sat back down, declaring herself some sort of Blackjack prodigy, then proceeded to lose the next seven hands in a row.

"Okay, kissing you was clearly bad luck, Faith."

"No way! I'm winnin' now, so it's all good, baby."

"Okay, but just remember that half of your winnings are mine."

"Just half?"

They were both laughing when Carmen appeared.

She was stunningly beautiful and Faith looked her up and down before turning back to the game. Buffy said hello, which was only normal since as far as Faith could tell, Carmen was standing inside Buffy's shirt with her, she was so close. That was when the drooling started.

It was so bold, so out in the open, so over the top that Faith figured her for cruising solo and being hammered. It seemed pretty clear that Buffy wasn't there alone, yet Carmen behaved as if Faith were invisible. The question as far as Faith could see was: Why was Carmen hitting on a married woman right in front of her wife and how soon was she going to be meeting that wife up close and personal?

 Faith stayed calm, although she was starting to slam her chips down on the table instead of using the carefree toss she'd been going with. Carmen was talking almost nonstop as she stood next to Buffy, having wedged herself sideways in between Faith and Buffy's chair. After admiring her ass for a couple of minutes, which was a damn fine ass for sure, Faith decided to enter the contest.

She tapped Carmen on the back a little harder than was necessary to get her attention:

"Move. I wanna see my wife."

She smiled tightly, then took the empty seat on the other side of Buffy, introducing herself as she went:

"Hi, I'm Carmen, just like the character on 'The L Word'. In fact, Ilene based that character on me, so any resemblance is purely on purpose."

Buffy smiled and turned in her chair to face Carmen:

"You know the creator of 'The L Word'?"

"You could say that. We dated for almost a year."

Faith rolled her eyes:

"Yeah, and me and Angelina used to hit it all the time."

Carmen smiled at Faith, baring every one of her six hundred large, white teeth like a gorilla right before the attack. She then turned her attention back to Buffy, praising her "delightfully fun" name, calling her particular shade of eye color "stunning", and generally ignoring Faith like she was some ugly girl who couldn't get a date to the prom.

Faith went back to playing, knocking back her drink and irritatedly shaking the empty bottle above her head:

"Hey! Little service!'

Carmen was explaining to Buffy how she'd always been afraid to play anything except the slot machines, and Faith couldn't believe how helpless and scared the poor killer chimp was.

"Would you help me until I get the hang of it, Buffy?"

"Sure, it's not that hard. Faith just taught me, although the double downing and splitting are still kind of confusing."

Buffy had to help her count to twenty-one each and every hand because poor, meek, terrified Carmen couldn't seem to manage numbers in the double digits. She chatted between every deal, all complete with way too many up close and personal touches. She laughed at everything Buffy said, making sure to throw her thick, smooth, shiny brown hair all over the place like she was in a wind tunnel. Her tongue peeked out and licked her lips constantly as she stared at Buffy's, and she made sure to stretch with her breasts thrust out just as many times as she could get away with.

Faith did her best to stay focused on the game and stay seated, but when Buffy's new girlfriend started grabbing Buffy's arm and hand with every comment, she found her concentration wavering. As Faith sat there, Carmen actually had the nerve to run her hand along Buffy's bare arm…all the way up and all the way down.

"Wow, your skin's beautiful, so soft and smooth. What moisturizer do you use? Is it a total body lotion?"

Before Faith could say anything, Carmen "accidentally" spilled her drink down the front of Buffy's white shirt and the headlights were on high beams for all to see. Over Buffy's mild objections, she insisted on cleaning it up herself and Faith had reached her limit.

"Hey, wanna go paw and slobber all over some other girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I have been for like twenty minutes now, and I'm fresh out of excuses. Beat it."

Buffy was using a napkin to dab at her top, and she looked up at Faith with surprise. Faith never even glanced her way as she stood.

Carmen got to her feet too, but she showed no other signs of moving, confident that her larger size would somehow give her an advantage if things got physical. Faith's eyes lit up as she imagined the beat down she was about to deliver.

"Oh bitch, you got no clue."

"No, puta, you don't."

Buffy quickly slid between them, facing Faith.

"Whoa girls, hey! We're supposed to be having fun."

Faith tried to step around Buffy:

"And we're gonna be in just a sec…"

"Baby, come on. Let's just keep playing."

Faith reluctantly pulled her eyes from Carmen to look at Buffy:

"Sounds good, but if she lays one more finger on you, I'm gonna snap it off and shove it up her…"

"Carmen! I won seventy-three dollars on the slot machine!"

A redheaded blur rushed into Carmen's arms and while they hugged and squealed, Buffy made a face at Faith like she was going too far, which was something the security guard who appeared seconds later seconded.

"Is there a problem here, Georgie?"

"The dealer shook her head:

"Not a serious one, right girls?"

Faith looked at her:

"Long as she stops maulin' my wife, we're good."

The guard nodded his head in Carmen's direction:

"Looks like she's got her own woman to maul. If I come back, you're all leaving."

The blur turned out to be "Nancy Conrad", Carmen Hernandez's significant other of four years and counting. They were both attractive, apart and together, and there was no doubt about it. Nancy was more the classic all-American type with her strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes, and Carmen was the dark beauty, all black and blue and red all over…at least that's how Faith was going to describe her slutty dead body to the police sketch artist.

Nancy offered to buy them a drink with her winnings, and Buffy had accepted, dragging Faith behind her into the bar. Nancy and Buffy did the introduction thing, exchanging basic info and then going on and on and on about how much fun every aspect of the cruise was. Carmen joined in while Faith stared down into her bottle and imagined busting it upside somebody's L Word-like head. She might resemble Carmen, but as far as Faith could tell, she was Jenny all the way.

She mumbled before she took a swig of her beer:

"Bring on the circus manatees."

"What?"

Nancy was smiling at her uncertainly, Carmen was staring daggers with nothing but certainty, and the only one who had heard Faith clearly was not at all happy as she covered for her:

"Faith was just wishing we could see manatees. She loves them like I do dolphins."

That sent Nancy off and running about the vacation they'd taken two years ago to Florida.

"They're so gentle and slow, the poor things always get hit by boat propellers and…"

Fifteen more mind numbing minutes passed before Buffy stood and said they regretfully had to go. Carmen was up in a flash, her smile huge as she took Buffy's hand in both of hers:

"I so hope we see you again."

That left Nancy and Faith paired off, and to call it "awkward" didn't remotely do it justice.

"Faith, it was lovely to meet you. Perhaps we can do it again soon."

"Yeah, I'll be holdin' my breath."

And with that, the ordeal was over.

Buffy and Faith walked back to their cabin without speaking, and Faith could barely contain herself until they were sure their suite was secure.

"What the fucking fuck was that?"

"Faith…"

"Why'd you let her rub all over you? No way…"

"Faith…"

"…can you be so fucking stupid that you didn't know she was…"

"Faith!"

"What?"

Buffy was looking at her with a mixture of surprise and irritation:

"Of course I knew she was hitting on me."

"And what? You liked it?"

"That's not the point. I was…"

"So you did like it?!"

"Hello, would you stop yelling at me?"

Faith stomped off into the bedroom, Buffy following close behind. Faith spun on her quickly:

"I don't get it. You expect me just to stand there and…"

"Look, I know there are no guidelines here, but you were definitely overplaying the jealousy thing."

"I wasn't overplaying shit. There's no way I'm gonna just sit there while some slut hits on my girl right in front of me."

Buffy nodded and tried to keep her voice calm.

"I get that, but threatening to hit her was too much. I mean, I knew you were just acting, but you could have scared her off."

"..."

"They could easily be who we're looking for, especially when you factor in how Nancy didn't seem at all bothered by anything that was going on. I think they've done stuff like that before, you know?"

Faith sat down on the bed, trying to regain her calm.

"Maybe I shoulda toned it down a little."

Buffy nodded understandingly.

"It's an easy mistake to make. I mean, at least you were in character, even if it was a little too much."

"Yeah, guess I kinda went overboard."

"Good one! Besides, it's not like we're professional actors. Hey, I've got an idea: why don't we try out the whirlpool? That should help us unwind before dinner."

"Sounds good. Just let the jets work their magic while the ocean passes us by, wash the Carmen cooties offa ya…"

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"Not any time soon."

Buffy headed into the bathroom:

"Could you believe when she threw her drink on me?"

"Sure seemed to get you excited."

Buffy laughed as she tossed Faith her suit:

"It was ice cold!"

"Says you."

"Can I help it if I'm all woman?"

"Thing I can't figure is why she was botherin' with you when I was available."

Buffy's voice was muffled as she changed into her bikini.

"It's probably that 'all woman' thing."

Faith was tying on her top as she walked towards the bathroom.

"Oh right, like I'm chopped liver in the woman department."

They met in the doorway and Buffy was shaking her head sadly.

"No, you're fine, I'm just wicked finer."

"You must have sexstroke again."

"Maybe…Carmen did get me all fired up."

Faith's moved closer:

"Better watch your step, B."

Buffy laughed at Faith's dark expression:

"You could have been a great actress. Come on, let's go break in that whirlpool."

Buffy had been nothing but right: the whirlpool was just what they'd needed to unwind. All they had to do was flip a switch, get in, lean back, and let the water do all the work. Although it seemed like they had total privacy, they avoided talking about anything Slayer related just in case the wind could carry their conversation someplace they didn't want it to go. Instead they watched the ocean roll by as they drifted in and out of a light sleep.

When they'd had enough of unwinding, they went inside and began getting ready for dinner. They talked as they moved around the bedroom and bathroom, going over their strategy for the best way to draw two possible demons right to them.

"I made sure they knew what time we eat, so if we see them, we need to be friendly. It might mean they're hunting us, which would be nothing but of the good, but it could also be innocent too. If we don't run into them, we'll find out which room they're in and do some snooping around."

 "Yeah."

Faith was still in the bathroom, and although Buffy couldn't see her, she could easily hear her irritation.

"What does that mean?"

"What the hell does it sound like it means? I said: 'Yeah'."

She strode into the bedroom and Buffy looked at her in the vanity mirror:

"Hey, don't take it out on me because you have to get a little dressed up."

"It's not 'a little', and I just agreed with you."

"Well it didn't sound like you were very happy about it."

"Maybe because I'm not happy about it, Buffy. I gotta go make nice with some bitch who's either a scumbag demon or just a regular scumbag who doesn't know the boundaries when it comes to my wife. Then there's her stupid as shit partner who doesn't care if her woman goes after mine right in front of her face, plus I gotta wear some fucked up shit that…"

Buffy got up and walked over to her.

"First of all: they might be evil demons you can go all Slayer on, so there's absolutely no downside there. Second of all: the clothes really suit you. You look fantastic except…"

"What are you doin'?"

"You can't have all of these buttons undone."

"Gotta or I'm gonna look like somebody's grandma."

Buffy laughed and continued refastening, her fingers brushing against some interesting places.

"Faith, you can't look like an uncomfortable hooker at dinner."

And that was how Faith had ended up sitting in her Casual Smart outfit eating dinner with two of the most irritating bitches on the planet. Buffy and Nancy were talking up a storm, and it hadn't taken Faith long to add her to the: "Punch in the Face" list…unless she got a shot to cut her head off at some point soon.

Nancy was the kind of person who was downright nosy, all under the pretense of being friendly, and it was just lucky that Buffy could pretend to be an idiot who liked that sort of thing. Faith knew for sure that she herself didn't have anywhere near that kind of patience; she could barely manage to find the patience to play her own small part.

"We've been married for one month and three days, but we've been together for years."

"How come you're not wearing rings?"

Faith bristled instantly at the sound of her voice:

"'Cause we don't want to…Carmen."

Faith felt the all too familiar kick under the table and reined herself in.

"And because we're havin' special ones made."

"They're just beautiful! Faith came into some unexpected money and she's been spoiling me rotten ever since."

Nancy was excited:

"That's wonderful! Business or…"

"Dead as a doornail aunt I never met."

That seemed to deflate Nancy's excitement slightly, but she recovered quickly:

"Oh, I'm sorry, Faith. If you don't mind me asking – was there no one else she could give her money to?"

"Maybe some cats, I guess."

"Faith's the last of her family. She's been on her own for years."

Nancy expression looked like she'd lost her own aunt, and she patted Faith's arm consolingly:

"Oh my, that's so awful. Buffy, I hope your family somehow fills the void."

Buffy shook her head sadly, her hand subtly crowding Nancy's off of Faith's.

"They would if they could, but I lost both my parents in a car accident six years ago. I'm an only child like my mom was. Dad had a brother I supposedly met when I was about five years old, but I don't really remember him. He was an alcoholic, so he's probably long dead. It's just Faith and I now."

"That's so sad, but at least you've found each other. Carm and I both come from large families, although it's been a bit of a struggle getting Carmen's family to accept our relationship."

Carmen nodded and took Nancy's hand in her own:

"Slowly but surely they're getting there. They haven't cut us off or anything like that, but it's been difficult at times."

Nancy kissed her cheek.

"They invite us for the holidays now, so we really can't complain. They even bought me Christmas presents last year!"

"It's much better now, but I'd still love to stay home one year – just Nance and I."

"It does sound cozy, but I'm not sure our families would ever allow it. What do you guys do? Go to friends or just stay at home?"

Faith saw it now – these were obviously the demons, or at the very least the demons' "helpers". They were definitely pumping for information, trying to see if anyone would miss them if they suddenly disappeared. And Buffy was playing along perfectly, smoothly spilling their pre-arranged cover story like a professional liar.

"We haven't really made many friends yet, I'm afraid. We're still at the hotel trying to figure out where we should settle."

Nancy leaned in, clearly riveted by the most boring, isolated couple in the world.

"Oh?"

"I just graduated from Ohio State last year, but now that Faith has had this unexpected windfall, we decided I should take some time off before I start looking for a teaching job."

Carmen oozed all over Buffy, and Faith started fantasizing about throwing her through one of the gigantic windows that led to the ocean.

"A teacher? Oh Buffy, that's so fantastic!"

Nancy tried to be the sane one:

"What grade do you teach?"

"Elementary school. I really love children."

They'd decided on that age group because Buffy was confident she could answer almost any question a ten year old could.

But there were no questions. Carmen was too busy imagining having sex with Buffy on her teacher's desk, and her slimy expression said everything there was to say. All that was missing was the "bow-chicka-bow-wow" porn music as Carmen got ready to teach the teacher a thing or two.

"And you, Faith?"

"…"

"Faith?"

Nancy spoke up a little louder as she noticed Faith's attention seemed to be concentrated on Carmen, but her voice wasn't what brought Faith's focus back to the conversation. It was Buffy's hand squeezing her knee underneath the table.

"What?"

Carmen rolled her eyes and took over the interrogation:

"She asked what you do for a living."

"Serial killer, but I'm on a break."

Buffy's hand squeezed Faith's thigh this time and Faith knew there was going to be a bruise.

"Just kidding. Nothin' special, kinda just drift from job to job."

"Big surprise."

Carmen muttered it too softly for anybody except two Slayers to hear, and Nancy oblivious to any insult, was all smiles as she carried on. Faith envied her ignorance because she'd tensed and was ready to blow until she felt Buffy's grip tighten until it hurt.

"So how did you two meet?"

Faith sipped down the last of her drink:

"Was a janitor at B's college."

"Ah, you're both Buckeyes."

Buffy didn't have a clue, and her expression made it clear to Faith that she thought it was an insult of some kind. Faith spoke up quickly:

"That's us, OSU Buckeyes 'til we die."

"Nuts…figures."

Carmen newest comment under her breath was just another thing that she was going to be paying for somewhere down the line if Faith got her way. Nancy barely paused for air as she kept the questions coming:

"So you're in the Honeymoon Suite. Is it as wonderful as the brochures make it out to be?"

"It's fabulous, Faith spared no expense."

"Only the best for my girl."

She leaned over for a quick, but passionate kiss.

"That must be dreamy. Honeymooning in the best room on the ship, nothing but warm weather. Do you still live in Ohio?"

"Yep, we headed to Cleveland after I graduated, but now we're planning to move someplace warmer."

"Can't say I blame you there. Oh gosh, look at the time! Carm and I have imposed on you newlyweds far too long."

"We enjoyed it, didn't we, Sweetie?"

"Oh yeah, I had a great time, B."

Nancy was practically shooting moonbeams and fairies out of her ass:

"Maybe we could all get together again sometime?"

Buffy nodded all happy and friendly:

"That would be great."

Carmen smiled and covered Buffy's hand with her own:

"Buffy, please call us anytime, and we'll work something out. We're in cabin 5190 on the 'Verandah Deck'."

Faith reached over and placed her hand on top of the hand Carmen was using to hold Buffy's.

"You can count on hearin' from us."

Buffy slid free and tried not to laugh when Faith didn't let Carmen pull back very easily.

"Night…Carmen."

With an extra special squeeze, Faith let go and pulled Buffy up, wrapping her arm around her as she did. Buffy was perky right until the end:

"Thanks for a great time! We'll definitely see you guys later!"

Faith had to admire her dedication and stamina, but she couldn't wait to get out of there. They walked back to their cabin, nodding to the staff as well as the other passengers they passed.  They spoke loudly about how great the food and company had been, how beautiful the restaurant was, how pretty the ship looked at dark, and how much they were looking forward to the rest of the night.

Evidently the couple staying across from them had the same idea. Their door was being held ajar by a large basket of goodies, allowing the Slayers to get an eyeful of them enjoying one another's company.

"Whoa, that's gotta be rated XXX."

"Faith, don't keep staring."

"Why not? It's like free porn."

"Come on."

"Don't ya wanna pick up some pointers?"

Buffy flushed and pulled on Faith's arm:

"If that were us, I'd want…Let's just go…please."

"But B, they're just…Fine, hang on a sec…"

Faith slid the basket a few more inches into the cabin and the door automatically shut, preserving what little dignity they still retained in Penthouse Suite #7046. Buffy already had the door to #7045 open and she gestured for Faith to enter ahead of her into the PG rated Honeymoon Suite.

Buffy shut the door, double locking it behind them. They'd only had one visitor, and although the replenished ice bucket and late hour indicated it had simply been their turndown service, they couldn't afford to assume anything. After their routine check confirmed that they were surveillance free, Faith bolted for the bedroom.

She came back into the dining area just a couple of minutes later, her mouth full of chocolate and wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Even her feet were bare.

"B, ya want some?"

Buffy was busy trying to spread out the blueprints of the ship, frowning as she tried to secure the corners.

"B, you want your chocolate? They gave us kisses again and Maria really came through with the extras."

"Huh? Oh, no, you go ahead."

"Thanks!"

Buffy glanced at her and had to smile. Faith was adorable as she crammed two more into her mouth and smiled back, just managing not to drool chocolate onto her chest. 

"What?"

"…Nothing."

Faith looked down at herself as Buffy continued to stare.

"Oh sorry. Shoulda got dressed or put on my robe."

"Please, you're way more covered than when you're in your suit."

"Good point. Here, got one left."

She unwrapped the kiss and offered it to Buffy who opened her mouth since her hands were full of blueprints and blueprint holder downers.

"Damn, B, want I should eat if for ya too?"

"It might be nice if you'd ever help out."

"I am, I'm providing you with chocolate."

Buffy figured it was fifty/fifty at best as to whether Faith was really going to give up the last of her kisses. Despite having just said that she didn't want any, now that the unwrapped treat was right there, Buffy was dying for it. Her heart was pounding hard, her eyes were open wide, and her blood was practically racing through her veins. She really wanted that kiss.

Faith hesitated for a few seconds, then moved in, her face concentrating on Buffy's mouth. She carefully placed the chocolate on Buffy's tongue, but Buffy's lips came down a little too fast, capturing a somewhat unsteady finger and thumb. They both froze, and Faith's eyes flew up to meet Buffy's as a shock of electricity seemed to spark in the air between them. They each pulled back at the same time.

"Oh...um…oops. Guess I'm not used to being fed, unless it's grapes, of course."

"Hang on, I'll go get a giant feather to fan ya with, Princess."

The familiar banter was in place, but they still stared at each other without moving until a knock on the door broke the spell and put them both on the alert.

"I got point, B."

"You're back-up, Nearly Naked Girl."

"Always gotta be the boss, don't ya?"

But she stood off to the side, ready as Buffy opened the door to a tall man in a steward's uniform.

"Good evening, ma'am. I have a communiqué from the Captain."

"Oh, for us?"

"Yes, Mrs. Lehane. Have a nice night, ma'am."

With a tip of his hat he was gone, leaving Buffy to stare at the envelope with confusion as she closed the door.

"What the hell's that, B?"

"No clue. Let me open it."

"So? What's it say?"

Buffy read silently, then began smiling:

"We've been invited to dine at the Captain's table!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! This is so exciting! I wonder how they chose us?"

"B, we're in the swanky room. The rich always get the perks."

Buffy nodded as she re-read the invitation:

"Right, right, of course."

"Do we gotta go formal?"

"It says: 'formal attire preferred'."

Faith grinned big:

"'Preferred ain't 'required', so I can wear the stupid shit I had on tonight."

"But you have that other pretty outfit you could..."

"Laugh riot, Blondie."

Buffy smiled at her and tried to stop looking at all of the smooth, tan skin on display.

"I'm just saying, F."

"So when we gotta eat with this big shot?"

"Wednesday night at eight."

Faith nodded:

"Good, means we're free all tomorrow."

"Yep, and if we get lucky, maybe he'll give us a tour..."

"…and let us get a look at where we're not supposed to go. Perfect. Okay, let's get tonight's patrol up and running."

Buffy placed the invitation carefully on the side table and then joined Faith at the blueprints.

"Okay as you know, I'm not the best at reading these, but Giles left instructions…"

"That Red makes sense of. I see her notes on the sides."

"Thank God, because I need instructions like: 'Take ten baby steps, then look in the left corner of the ceiling."

Faith bent down to read Giles' impeccable writing:

"'Approximately 3.25 meters, then direct your attention to the singular left quadrant of the northern port'…What the fuck is he talkin' about?"

"You know Giles, he's being extremely clear and precise and totally un-understandable."

"Guy's really hardcore English."

"And when you add in he's a Watcher…"

"…we'd be dead in the water if we didn't have Red."

Buffy laughed:

"Have you always been so funny?"

"Mostly, just not with you. Gimme the checklist."

Buffy handed her the pre-made sheet provided by Giles and Willow, and they continued looking over the blueprints, both pointing out spots of interest they'd yet to visit and trying to figure the best way to go about their search. After twenty minutes of studying, Buffy clapped her hands.

"Okay, I think we've got our plan."

"Yeah, should be able to hit most of these tonight."

"When we pull over tomorrow, we'll call them and give them what we've got."

"Which so far isn't much."

"No, but Willow will find something."

"My money's on G-Man. So? Time's a-wastin', let's go be Slayers, girlfriend."

Buffy rolled up the blueprints and put them back in the hidden compartment of her suitcase. She took off her dress and hung it carefully on a hanger, then picked up Faith's clothes from the bed and floor.

"Would it have killed you to hang these up?"

"Yeah, probably. 'Sides, they got a laundry service."

"Well, we'll need to get yours cleaned for…"

"B, can we stop talking and thinking about clothes? I wanna do somethin'!"

"Sorry. Just let me use the bathroom and finish dressing."

"Hurry up, will ya?"

Faith tucked her shirt into her jeans and pulled on her sneakers. She grabbed a banana and began tossing it into the air, stabbing it downward like a stake every time she caught it.

"Wish we could hit Carmen's room tonight."

"What?"

"Said I wish we could check out your girlfriend's room tonight."

Buffy was brushing some imaginary wrinkles off her shirt front.

"I know, but tomorrow's our best bet when they're out sightseeing."

"Wouldn't mind them bein' in when we stop by."

"They could be innocent, you know. Are we ready?"

"Yeah, we're way past it."

Faith grabbed the room key and Buffy stuck the "dime" into its usual place.

"Do you have the notepad, Faith?"

"And the lock pick and the pen. Can we just go already?"

"Wow, what's with the grouchy?"

"I'm sick of waitin' while you drag your feet and defend the innocent."

"I'm not dragging my feetand stop trying to boss me around."

"Stop movin' like an old lady then."

"I'm just making sure we're prepared."

"Oh thank God you're here, Buffy."

Buffy shoved her from behind:

"Shut up, Faith."

"Hey, don't hit me when my back's turned!"

'Hit you'? I barely touched you, you big baby."

"Already all bruised up from you beatin' the shit outta me at dinner."

"You mean when you kept trying to screw everything up?"

Faith opened the door and gestured at Buffy:

"You go. Can't risk turnin' my back on you."

"Keep it up, Faith and I'm going to…"

"What, B? Put gum in my hair? Trip me on the playground?"

"How about punch you into next week?"

"Ooh, scary. The Slayer's gettin' tough."

They walked out into the hallway and when Faith turned to close the door, Buffy barely stopped herself from shoving her again.

"You are so irritating."

Faith spun to look at her, but her gaze swept past Buffy.

"We got company."

Faith pushed her up against the wall, using leverage and her Slayer strength to prevent her from moving away.

Buffy tried to switch their positions, but quickly realized that without a full on brawl, that wasn't going to happen. Several people were almost on them and Buffy made her body relax.

"I wish I could kick you in the crotch right now."

"Yeah, but ya can't. Make it look like you love me, baby."

Buffy considered ripping Faith's lips off and spitting them onto the carpeted floor, but that thought disappeared almost the instant their mouths touched. The heat raced through her and her grip tightened around Faith's back, her right hand tangling in the thick brown hair to hold her right where she was. Their tongues teased back and forth and Faith pressed forward, her left hand pulling Buffy's leg up and encouraging it to wrap around Faith's waist.

They both groaned softly and Buffy's other hand came up to frame Faith's face as the kiss intensified. They finally eased back, their breathing erratic and heavy as they stood there, foreheads touching. Buffy's leg slowly slid back to the floor and their arms unwound from each other.

"Everybody's gone, Faith."

"Yeah."

They stood looking at each other, both of them flushed and confused as they tried to undaze themselves.

"Jesus, B…"

"I know."

"We don't slay somethin' soon…"

"Room #7046 won't be able to teach us a thing."

"Nope."

Buffy put on her game face:

"Okay, so let's go check out those spots, then maybe we can work out."

Faith nodded eagerly:

"They got that track and gym on the Lido deck. Might be deserted later."

"If not, we can always move the furniture around and spar in our room."

"Yeah…yeah that would work, B."

"So we're good then!"

"We're great!"

They headed for the stairs, trying to refocus on their assignment…their hands just itching to entwine.

Chapter Five

Buffy was doing her best not to get irritated, but with all of the street noise and the in and out connection, it wasn't easy.

"Can you say that again?"

"I said that we should be able to have something helpful by tomorrow or Thursday at the latest!"

Of course just as she'd yelled that information, the connection became crystal clear, always enjoyable for a Slayer utilizing her Slayer hearing.

"OW!"

"What?"

"Just had the volume turned up too high, Will. So what's the temperature back home?"

Willow laughed:

"Is it the 'rub it in' part of the call already?"

"Yep, so let's hear it."

"It's currently fourteen degrees and snowing. Happy now?"

"Deliriously."

Willow's voice turned conspiratorial:

"So Buff, how's…you know."

"Being surrounded by lesbians?"

"Is it all gayed up?"

"Completely! Women are making out everywhere you look, and they're all wearing flannel shirts and tool belts, even when they're playing softball."

"They are? Isn't it too hot to…Oh."

Buffy laughed:

"It's just how I imagined a cruise would be except everybody's a woman. But it's not like that's a problem for us because despite the unfair accusations before we left, both Faith and I are very lesbian friendly."

Buffy could practically hear Willow's blush.

"I know, sorry about that. But you were both acting so weird and…"

"We were acting like we didn't want to be here together."

"And?"

"'And' what?"

"How's all of that going?"

Buffy looked across the narrow street at Faith who was eating an ice cream cone. It was dripping down onto the sidewalk in the heat as she held it away from her body, and a stray dog was licking it up, its tail wagging at full speed.

"Surprisingly well. I threw her overboard on the first day, so it's been a real breeze."

Willow laughed:

"I guess that means Xander wins the office pool."

"No, it's been okay for the most part. She's been way less obnoxious than usual, although we still have our moments."

Faith reached down to pet the dog with her free hand, and she ended up giving it what was left of her cone. She walked back to the stand to buy another one, her new best friend following closely behind her. Her white shorts made her legs look tan and fit, while her red sleeveless top let her bare, lean arms swing freely…

"Buffy?"

"What? I didn't hear that."

"I asked you what it's like pretending to be married to her."

"Well, I found out she's a great kisser, that's for sure. We kind of got over the weird part of it pretty fast, although that's its own kind of weird that's really kind of weird. Plus we're not slaying anything, which doesn't exactly help."

"What do you mean it 'doesn't exactly help'? Are you saying that you're…you know…"

Willow's voice dropped to a hushed whisper:

"…h-o-r-n-y?"

"I'm not exactly…Oh my God, that's so cute!"

"What?"

"Faith just bought a stray dog his own ice cream cone."

"She did?"

"Yep. She gave him the last of hers before, so she went to buy another one and got him one too."

"Did she buy you one?"

Buffy couldn't believe how adorable it was. Faith was crouched at dog level holding his ice cream cone while he licked at it and she somehow managed to do the same with her own. He cooperated with her for a while, but then apparently the temptation was too much. He took all three scoops of ice cream, hanging onto two while the other one hit the sidewalk. He swallowed, then quickly licked the pavement clean as Faith laughed and tossed him his empty cone.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Did she buy you a cone?"

"I'm getting it when I get done talking to you. It's so hot here, you have to eat it fast."

"Ahhh, so we're back to the rub it in part."

"Willow, you know we never left. Anyway, it's going good here. We've got our suspects and those suspicious spots I told you about. We're going to head back to the boat soon and check everything out."

"Okay, but be careful. Remember – you guys are on your own."

"We're watching out for each other, and no matter what, Faith's always good back-up…I can't believe it!"

"What?"

"Faith just gave the dog the rest of her cone again."

"Wow, she sounds like she's in love."

"I'd better go before she buys him the whole ice cream stand."

"Okay. Tell her I said hi. We'll get right on this intel."

"Thanks, Will. Say hi to everybody for us."

Buffy disconnected the call and walked across the street to join her partner.

"Hey, B. Everything go good?"

"Yep, somehow the info we got is going to help. Who's this?"

"Some little guy from the neighborhood. Ready for a cone now?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Hang here, I'll buy ya one."

She came back with two as well as a large plastic cup full of water, her canine escort matching her stride for stride.

"Here ya go, B. Two scoops of chocolate."

"Thanks. What's with the vanilla one?"

"Guy gave it to me. Guess he fucked up my order."

Faith was trying to look innocent, which only made her look more guilty.

"Gee, and it's a triple scoop. That's quite a mix-up."

"Yeah, but wasn't gonna bust his balls over a cone. Hey, dogs like ice cream, don't they?"

Buffy just managed to keep a straight face:

"I think maybe they do."

"Cool."

She squatted down and held the cup of water for her new pal. She kept the cone out of reach, and even though the dog seemed to know he had a shot at it, he was thirsty. He started slurping it up and Faith turned to Buffy, her voice pitched low.

"Okay, here's the plan..."

"Faith, you don't need to whisper. I don't think he understands what you're saying."

"Just 'cause he's Mexican doesn't mean he can't speak English."

Buffy wasn't sure if she was kidding or not, but either way it was so cute she could barely stand it.

"Let's start heading for the ship. If he follows, I'll toss him the cone and we'll haul it."

"Can I keep mine?"

"Probably. Have to see how fast he can run."

"Well, I hope it's not as fast as us or he's going to be having a major lactose problem."

"Nah, he's a street dog. Guy's got a cast iron stomach on him. "

She tipped the cup to make sure he got the last of the water, then straightened up.

"Okay, me and B are pullin' out. You stay here now."

They took off at a brisk walk, but "stay" obviously wasn't in a street dog's vocabulary, no matter what language he spoke. Faith leaned over until they were face to face:

"Listen, it was nice meetin' ya, but you gotta stay. So stay!"

They walked off again and he trailed close behind, licking up the drops they were dripping in their wake.

"He's not staying, Faith."

"Yeah, I got that. You ready?"

"Just say the word."

"Hey buddy, you want this cone? It's all yours…Go get it."

She threw it and the Slayers took off in the opposite direction, moving fast although at way less than full Slayer speed. They skirted the crowds, and turned down a side street, easily jumping over a fence that backed up to an alley. They ducked under a clothesline in someone's backyard and emerged out onto another main street.

Faith looked around for a minute, then nodded. 

"Okay, we can slow down. I think we lost him."

"And I still have my cone with some actual ice cream on it."

"Thought for sure you were gonna lose it when we hopped the fence."

 Buffy smiled:

"Years of experience out on patrol."

"Yeah 'cause nothin' says slaying like hangin' onto your ice cream cone."

"You'd better watch your tone or I won't let you have the bite I was about to offer you."

"Really? I get a bite?"

"It's seems only right since you didn't get a lot of your own before."

Buffy stopped walking and held out her surprisingly intact, although melting cone. Faith hesitated at first, giving the ice cream a tiny lick.

"Faith, take some. That side's mostly untouched if you're worried about…"

She took an enormous bite, devouring almost all of the remaining chocolate as well as crunching into the cone.

"Faith!"

She tried to grin, but it was chew or choke, and Faith Lehane was a survivor if nothing else. She was also running as Buffy tried to…get her ice cream back, hit her upside the head, or maybe just grab her and pull her close for a kiss as soon as Faith managed to swallow.

Her lips were delicious: cold with a flavor that tasted just like chocolate covered Faith, and Buffy wanted a double scoop at least. Several people passing in the street yelled out to them and when Buffy ended the kiss, she was smiling.

"Pig."

"You said take some, B. Just tryin' to make ya happy."

"You're so considerate. Thanks."

"My pleasure. Least we got some attention out of it."

Buffy picked up the discarded cone from the grass and tossed it into the trash can next to the sidewalk.

"I'm thirsty."

"There's a joint right over there. Let's go get a drink, then we can get to work."

It was dark inside, and the ceiling fans felt like heaven. They each ordered water, confident that their Slayer constitution could handle it, and Buffy also got a lemonade while Faith chose a Coke. The waiter wasn't friendly, but he was efficient, and they had their drinks in less than a minute.

"This town looks pretty, I wish we could look around."

"Yeah, but not exactly like we're here to see the sights, B."

"I know. It's definitely not one of our job perks, is it?"

"No, and don't start up about how you didn't get to see the freakin' Eiffel tower."

"Well, I didn't! And you'd think you'd be more upset, it's not like you saw it either."

"Seen pictures, so no big."

"It's a total 'big', Faith! I…"

Faith held up her hand, cutting Buffy off before she could get going.

"I know, I know, ain't the same as seein' it for yourself. Look, if this goes our way today, we can take care of the sitch and just sit back and enjoy the rest of the cruise."

"That would be so great, but you know it never works that way."

Faith finished her water and moved on to her soda.

"Yeah, not too likely, is it?"

"Nope. Oh well, at least I'm not suffering alone."

Faith laughed:

"Misery loves company, B."

"I know mine does, F."

They sat quietly, sipping their drinks and watching the bar fill up. When it began getting crowded, they paid their bill and headed out into the bright sunlight.

"So, I vote for hittin' your girlfriend's room first."

"I agree, and stop calling her that."

"Hey, you're the one who got all turned on."

"I was not 'turned on'."

"Right, B. You're like a nun or somethin'."

Buffy ignored her as they approached the ship holding hands. There was no line to re-board, everyone was out and enjoying all the delights that Puerto Vallarta had to offer on such a beautiful day. The employee sitting on a stool on the dock looked happy to see them and she stood, excited to have something to do.

"No shopping, ladies?"

Faith flashed a smile:

"Not yet. We got a little hot…if you know what I mean."

The woman gave Faith a knowing smile and a wink:

"Yes, ma'am. Best to lie down in your cabin until the feeling passes. It happens a lot on honeymoons."

"Just what we figured, Donna."

Donna wanded them, then handed back their ship ID cards.

"Welcome aboard again, ladies. Have a good afternoon."

They headed straight to the Verandah Deck: Cabin 5190. The usually bustling ship was relatively deserted with a few employees scattered here and there. Buffy knocked twice and when no one answered, she pulled out what looked like a credit card from her pocket. She inserted it into the key card slot and crouched down.

"Hurry up."

"It goes as fast as it goes, Faith. Shhh…"

Faith kept looking both ways down the narrow, empty corridor.

"Well make it go faster, somebody's gonna come."

"Shhh…I can't hear the code."

"Just bust in."

"Faith, be quiet and let me do this right!"

Buffy removed the card, re-inserted it, and waited for the sequence to start over again. It did and it was easy to hear in the silence of the…

"B, let's just bust the door handle and go in."

The telltale beeping finished right after she did.

"Faith!"

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? I can't hear the code with you talking!"

"So how's it work?"

Buffy glanced up at her as she got ready to start over...again.

"Did you ever think of listening when Willow was explaining it?"

"No. It was boring and you had it covered."

"Exactly, so shut up and let me do it."

"Fine, 'scuse me for livin'."

Buffy saw the pout and sighed.

"You put it in the key slot and it figures out the code to open the lock. Then it beeps out the sequence and I punch in the number on the 'credit card' number part."

"Oh, cool."

"Yes. So can I please use it now?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Buffy slid the fancy digital lock pick back into the slot, then crouched down. The code began beeping and…

"Didn't kill ya to explain, did it?"

Buffy stood and twisted the handle, the metal and wood protesting as she broke in.

"What the hell, B? Thought you said…"

"Shut up before I kill you."

She put the card back in her pocket and walked into the room while Faith bent the metal back into place as much as possible, then smashed the splintered wood down flush.

"Probably hold for a few open and closes. Not bad, B."

Buffy stared at her wondering if she could get away with murder. Newlyweds killed their spouses on their honeymoon all the time – there was always a story on "Dateline" about it when they weren't busy catching predators. For all Buffy knew, it was even legal now.

She let out a deep breath and concentrated. No murder allowed. She was a Slayer on a Slayer mission with another Slayer doing Slayer business. She released another deep breath and took charge:

"Okay, remember to look in a careful way. They could just be people, and even if they're the demons, we don't necessarily want them to know that we're onto them yet."

"I want'em to know. Fact I wanna be right on top of Carmen when I explain a coupla things to her."

Buffy laughed:

"Here's hoping you get your chance. You take the furniture, I'll do the drawers and closet."

The room, although nowhere near the size of their Honeymoon suite, had plenty of space in which to hide incriminating evidence. Neither of them knew exactly what it was they were looking for, but they were determined to find it if it was there.

They worked efficiently, like a well-oiled team. Faith tipped over the table and all of the chairs, looking to see if anything was attached underneath. She firmly felt around the chairs, checking for any objects hidden inside. Next she unfolded the couch, examining every square inch of the inside space. Coming up empty, she crawled beneath the pulled out frame and looked around, sticking her arms into the now open base of the sofa, refusing to let even the tiniest spot escape her notice.

Buffy had methodically examined every drawer, pulling each one all the way out before sifting through the items inside. She ran her hands along the dresser and the desk, inside, behind, and underneath in case something was taped into place, but she found nothing. She moved on to the television set and the DVR player, but there was nothing unusual there either. Next she lifted up the mattress and peered under the bed, but all was as it should be.

Faith folded the couch back up, then pulled it out from the wall to see what might be behind it as Buffy scooted past the still out of place chairs and table to get to the hallway. She opened the closet door with anticipation, but found nothing beyond the standard ship wardrobe. There were five suitcases in all, and two felt as if they still had something inside them. She carried them towards the bed until her way was blocked, then tossed them onto the mattress before jumping over the furniture to get back to her original spot.

Faith was on her knees behind the couch as she inspected the wall, but her head peeked up when she heard the bags hit the bed.

"Got somethin', B?"

"Maybe. There's stuff in these cases, probably just clothes though."

"Or maybe a dead body. Looks like somebody patched a hole back here, could be a hiding place. Here's hopin' we both get lucky."

She pulled out her knife and began scraping and digging as Buffy examined the first suitcase. She ran her hand along the smooth, soft, expensive dark leather before unzipping it and being greeted with nothing but neatly folded casual clothes…and not even smart ones at that. They were just t-shirts and shorts, along with a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Anything?"

"Just clothes, and the case itself is clean."

"Still got a shot over here."

Buffy zipped up the bag and pulled the other one closer. It matched perfectly, part of a set, and Buffy was totally jealous of how beautiful it was. A person could say a lot of things about Carmen and Nancy, but they had excellent taste in luggage and at the moment, that seemed to be what was most important...until the contents of the second case were revealed.

The evidence was pretty incriminating, as far as incriminating evidence went, and Buffy knew that Faith was going to be over the moon with what she had just found. She began taking items out and placing them on the bedspread.

"Faith…"

"Hang on one sec…"

There were two pairs of handcuffs, two different kinds of gags, some blindfolds, and what looked to be at least four or five different kinds of whips. There was also a collar, obviously for tagging the kidnapped victim, as well as a bizarre leather outfit that made no sense at all until Buffy realized they must dress the woman up before presenting her to the buyer. Although why they'd risk doing that on the ship made very little sense to her.

"Faith…"

She didn't answer, but Buffy heard her swearing softly under her breath:

"Don't try chipping, fucker. Just slide off and…Gotcha!"

"Faith…"

"Shit. Nothin' here, B. Guess somebody was gettin' it on wicked hard and banged the edge against the wall. Damn."

She stood up and began pushing the couch back into place.

"Can't believe we struck out. I'd have bet a million bucks we'd…"

"Faith!"

Faith banged the couch hard against the wall as Buffy's raised voice startled her. She felt the corner sink into the soft spot as she turned to look at her.

"What the hell are you screamin' abo…"

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. Buffy was holding a leather outfit with the nipple and crotch areas cut out and there were all kinds of whips, gags, clamps, paddles, and restraints spread out on the bed next to her.

The look on Buffy's face made Faith's mouth go dry, even though she wasn't into that kind of thing….at all…never…God…damn.

Buffy's eyes were the Slayer's eyes – scary, unyielding, and promising pain to anyone she got her hands on. When she picked up a whip and a set of cuffs, then turned back to look at Faith, Faith felt dizzy and wondered why the room was suddenly twenty degrees hotter than it had been just a second ago.

"I'd say we found our demons."

Faith tried to speak, she knew her mouth was open so that meant she was halfway there, but she was uncertain how to get her tongue to form any words besides: "Yes, Mistress".

"They've got everything here they need to kidnap and restrain somebody, as well as keep them in line."

"…B…Put it back."

"Why? They can't see the bed when they come in, so we'll just sit right here, then use their own stuff on them. Problem solved."

"Yeah, they'd love that."

"I can't figure out what they do with some of this stuff. Like…what the heck is this thing?"

"B..."

Buffy was holding the item in question upside down and staring at it intently.

"It's weird how it's so smooth and tapered at the end. I don't think it's a weapon, it doesn't seem to do anything, plus it's only like three inches long. I don't have any clue…"

"Just put it back and let's get out of here."

"What's the matter with you? Just a minute ago you were all 'Gung-Ho Girl', now…"

Faith was doing her best to stay composed.

"Buffy, listen to me…We need to put this stuff back where you found it and motor."

"Why? I want to know what they do with all of this and then I'm going to…"

"You're holdin' onto a butt plug, okay?"

"A butt…What?!"

Buffy threw it down hard enough that it bounced off the bed and landed on the floor in the sitting area. With the most horrified look Faith had ever seen on anyone's face, she zoomed off into the bathroom.

Faith heard the water turn on in the sink and she quickly repacked everything into the open suitcase. She got all of the furniture back where it belonged, then returned the luggage to the closet. By the time she made it into the bathroom, Buffy was already in the middle of her ten thousandth vigorous hand washing, the steam rising around her as she scrubbed like only a Slayer could.

"Oh my God…Oh my God. I use these hands, Faith! Almost every day to do all kinds of things!  See if there's another bottle of soap somewhere!"

"B, calm down."

"'Calm down'? 'Calm down'? Are you insane?! I just had somebody's butthole in my hands!"

"It's not that bad. I put everything away, and it's either new or they use condoms."

"And you know this how exactly? No, don't say it! Oh God, how long do you think it would take me to grow all new hand skin?"

"Mind if I squeeze in?"

Faith edged her slightly to the side and squirted some soap into own her hands. She tried to look as nonchalant as she could, doing her best to settle Buffy down. She smiled all serene and relaxed and…

"OW!!! Jesus fucking Christ!"

The water was so hot, Faith was certain she'd just burned herself beyond repair.

"B, this is way too fucking hot!"

"Says you! I need industrial heat. I'm hoping to have my hands dry cleaned later…Hey!"

Faith adjusted the temperature to merely "hot".

"Blistering your hands up isn't gonna help. I know it's gross, but trust me: you're okay. Honest."

Buffy looked suspicious, but after one more thorough washing she pulled back and looked for something to dry her hands with. She settled on her pants as the safest possible surface, and Faith followed suit.

"Faith!"

"Just trying to lighten things up, B."

"Can we please just go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

A quick look around the room to make sure everything was just as they'd found it, and then they were out in the hallway. They closed the door gingerly, but it shut smoothly and the lock held.

"Oughta make it a few more times, then they'll think it's just some fluke deal when it busts."

Buffy nodded, but never said a word all the way back to their room. They did their now familiar routine, and the instant they knew they were clear, Buffy announced she was going to take a shower.

"I know it's ridiculous, but…"

"I get it. Why don't ya take a bath instead? That way you can soak and relax. I'll order us some lunch and we can just chill for a bit."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"No, 'sides I'm starving. You go wash away the Carmen cooties, I'll get us some chow."

Buffy smiled:

"Thanks, Faith."

"Sure."

Buffy walked into the bathroom, tossing off her clothes as she went. She closed the door behind her, turned on the water and removed her underwear while she waited for it to heat up. Once it was just right, she flipped the switch that closed the drain, added some bubble bath and stood there until the tub was almost half full. She stepped up and then slid into the welcoming water.

She sunk down into the relaxing heat, the faint scent of lavender drifting all around her. She leaned her head back and let her hands sink under the blessedly clean water. She shuddered, then decided to pretend it had merely been the usual demon blood and guts. She'd had that on her hands a million times before and lived to tell the tale. This was just like all of those times…only way, way worse.

She looked at the face in the wall that was spitting out water into the tub and wondered who thought that would be a relaxing thing. The contorted face of a man or maybe a Greek god, that appeared to be vomiting all over someone's naked body was not soothing, not in the slightest. Plus, it was hitting her right there with enough force to be noticeable, but not really hard enough to do anything but put the thought into her head. Maybe that was the point though.

After all, she was sitting in a heart shaped tub big enough for two in the brand new Honeymoon Suite. She was supposed to be thinking about sex every minute anyway, which considering that she was a non-slaying Slayer who'd seen no action of any kind in days and wasn't likely to see any in the immediate future either…

It was time to sing and take her mind off of things better left unthought about.

"I got chills, they're multiplyin'…And I'm looosin' control…"

"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz…because because because because becauuussse…Because of the wonderful things she does…"

"…"

"If I were a rich man…La, la, la…something something something…Whatever."

She was fresh out of distracting sex tunes…show tunes to sing, and it wasn't helping anyway.

She let the water fill pretty high, then tried to turn it off by using her foot. The knobs were on the outside of the tub, nice when you were in the tub, awkward when you were in the tub and didn't want to move. She couldn't exactly squirm all around, the water was too high for that, so she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to move and….

"Knock, knock. Can I come in, B?"

Buffy ran her hands over her body like she was smoothing down her clothes, which looked ridiculous because she was covered in thick, frothy bubbles.

"Sure."

Faith was carrying two glasses, a plate full of fruit, cheese, and crackers, and a bottle of white wine tucked under her arm.

"Food might take awhile, so I thought ya might like a drink and a snack."

"That sounds wonderful."

Faith sat the plate down by the sink, then put the glasses and bottle on the ledge next to Buffy. She turned off the water, grinning at the face in the wall.

"Sorry, pal."

She poured two glasses and handed one to Buffy, then grabbed the plate and settled down on the large step. She sat at a bit of an angle and it looked awkward and uncomfortable to Buffy, but Faith didn't seem to mind at all. She looked perfectly at home, just like she always did no matter where she was.

Any place they'd ever been on assignment, Faith had physically adapted without delay. She'd slept soundly chained on a cement floor as well as lost in the woods with nothing but the cold, wet ground beneath her. She'd even managed to sleep for most of a brutal, three hour, bone jarring, teeth rattling ride in the back of a potato truck.

Buffy had felt every one of those Idaho beauties attacking her for three long hours, and less than a third of the way into it, she'd become firmly convinced that they were really demon potatoes intent on bagging themselves a Slayer or two. When they'd finally managed to sneak out, Buffy had been one big bruise, but Faith hadn't shown even the slightest bit of discomfort.

"Always did like spuds. Guess it's mutual."

The girl adapted to her surroundings like nobody's business, but sometimes Buffy couldn't help but worry.

"Maybe you should put a towel behind your back."

"Nah, I'm fine."

She took a sip of her drink:

"Pretty good. Not usually much for wine, but this is alright."

Buffy had a taste, then took another.

"I love wine and this is perfect."

Faith held out the plate:

"Brought forks and I can feed ya the crackers if ya want."

"That's sweet of you, Faith, but I decided to get over it. Just another day at the office."

"Smart move, Slayer."

"Although you might still have to feed me the crackers unless you feel like eating soap."

Faith nodded and picked up a slice of apple.

"So I used that weird little room to make this."

"The butler's pantry?"

"Yeah. Had dishes and the fridge was pretty stocked with the basics. Knives were dull though."

Which probably explained why it looked like Faith had slayed some papaya, but Buffy didn't say a word as she speared a large slice and took a bite.

"Mmmm…it's delicious. Try some."

"I don't know, B. The seeds freaked me right the fuck out."

"I promise you'll love it."

Faith raised her eyebrow, obviously not too sure.

"Yeah?"

"Slayer's honor, F."

"…Okay."

She was going to take a piece off of the plate, but Buffy was already leaning up and offering her a taste from her fork. Faith scooted forward to meet her and took a bite.

She didn't expect to like it, but to her surprise it was actually good.

"So?"

"I like it, B. Kinda like a peach mixed with a melon."

Buffy finished the piece she had with delight.

"Mmmm…Mom used to buy them all the time. She'd carve them out and fill them with ice cream or we'd just have them for breakfast. They're unbelievably good if you sprinkle on some lemon or lime juice."

"Yeah? Guess I'll try that sometime."

"The Hawaiian ones are sweeter, but I like these Mexican ones too."

"Your mom, you miss her a lot, B?"

Buffy speared a grape and a chunk of cheese.

"Every day. I just wish she could see that Dawnie and I are okay, that we made it."

"Doubt she'd figure otherwise, as strong as you are. 'Sides, who says she can't see you?"

"It'd be nice if that were true."

"You tell me, you're the one who went to Heaven."

"I don't remember seeing anyone, but I did feel like everybody was okay."

"Then there's your answer, 'cept I bet your mom pitched a bitch 'til she got herself a good look. She knows, B, and she's wicked proud of you."

Buffy felt her eyes tear up and she covered by finishing off her wine. She stretched out her arm and shook her empty glass.

Faith laughed:

"Whoa, easy, wild woman. You're hittin' the grape juice pretty hard here."

"Just fill'er up!"

"Better be careful shoutin' that out on this boat. Might get a big surprise."

"I'll just explain to them that I've had a rough day and I'm drunk."

"Yeah, like that's not the sitch for ninety-nine percent of the sex that happens in the world."

Faith filled both of their glasses.

"I'll take my chances, F."

"Wow, never knew all it took was some wine and papaya to rev your motor."

"Well, I keep my secrets pretty close to my chest."

"Think one of'em's lookin' to break loose on ya."

Buffy blushed and instantly slid down a few inches. Faith's dimples looked like deep grooves, she was smiling so big.

"Just kidding. Your secrets are safe, all covered up."

"You're the meanest wife on this whole ship."

"Aww…thanks, B."

They ate and drank in a comfortable silence for awhile until Buffy got back to business.

"So, what do we think?"

"They're probably just two freaks lookin' for new playmates."

"Which would explain so many things."

"Yeah, like why no demon tingles."

"And also why Nancy didn't care that Carmen was all over me."

Faith gestured with the bottle and topped off her own when Buffy shook her head.

"It's how they recruit. Carmen sluts all over somebody, then they go all pleasure and pain."

"Do you think that really works? I mean, how many people are into that kind of thing?"

"More than ya think, but they don't always gotta take it to the limit to get off. They just size'em up and go as kinky as they can get away with."

"Great, so they're majorly icky to go along with the big time annoying. And I can't believe how nosy they are."

"Yeah well, they thought we were hot and had to figure out if we'd go for it. Probably curious if you'd maybe go solo too."

Buffy popped a cube of cheese into her mouth, then scooped up a cracker with her fork:

"Another huge reason to dislike them. Here we are on our honeymoon and they're trying to sleep with one or both of us."

"Not my favorite people either, that's for sure. Damn, was really looking forward to cuttin' off Carmen's head."

"And what I'd like to know is how they're not embarrassed to travel through security with that stuff."

"Doubt much embarrasses them, not if they're so ballsy on the approach."

"Wait a second, Faith…how do we know they're not still involved? Their bondage love fits in perfectly with the sex slave thing. Maybe they are working for the demons."

"Could be, I suppose. Maybe we oughta have a little talk with'em."

"Absolutely. Let's apply some pressure and see what happens."

Faith stuffed a cracker and some cheese into her mouth, then swallowed it down with her last sip of wine. She stood and began picking up the dishes.

"Still a piece of papaya left in the mix, B."

She lowered the plate and Buffy snagged it. She started to take a bite but stopped, offering it to Faith first:

"Want a bite?"

"Sure."

Buffy pulled the fork away:

"A 'bite', Faith. No more than half."

"Slayer's honor, B."

Faith bent down and took only her share, and that was when two interesting things happened.

The first was that some papaya juice dribbled leisurely down her chin and Buffy's thumb traced it every inch of the way. The second was that Buffy's half of the fruit broke free from her fork and plopped loudly into the water -- somewhere in the region of her biggest secret.

Two sets of eyes darted to the entry point and then back to look at each other. With just a glimpse of the familiar gleam, Buffy knew she was in trouble.

"Don't you dare."

"But B, I'm just cleanin' up."

"Faith Lehane, I will toss you overboard right through that wall."

Faith put the plate and forks down by the sink, then one by one she deliberately placed the glasses on the far ledge with the faucets.

"I'm not kidding, I will kill you."

"Well, always free to stand up and leave if ya wanna."

It wasn't funny, not at all, but Buffy couldn't help laughing. It was like someone was threatening to tickle her, and just the anticipation of it was making her laugh and squirm. Faith's unhurried pace was masterfully dragging out the tension, and Buffy began giggling even though she was absolutely serious about murdering her.

"Faith, you are just seconds away from meeting a shark up close and personal."

"That what ya call it? Woulda figured you for somethin' a little cuter like: 'My Little Pony' or maybe even 'Little B'."

The tip of her tongue poked out slightly, trapped between her teeth as her eyebrows wiggled and her dimples went out of control. Her eyes never left Buffy's as she pretended to roll up her non-existent sleeves.

"Now just hold still, not gonna hurt a bit."

"Oh, it's going to hurt plenty if you so much as put one finger into this water."

Faith slowly and pointedly dipped her finger just under the surface.

"Callin' your bluff, B."

Buffy wasn't exactly sure when or how it happened, not precisely anyway, but suddenly what had been just a joke no longer seemed funny to either of them. The room had come alive and sparks were burning back and forth between them as they froze where they were.

Once again she could see the change come over Faith's beautiful, expressive face, could see the fire flaring up in the rich brown eyes, and Buffy felt something stirring in herself, something wild and exciting. She licked her lips, and the desire to learn if papaya and wine tasted better on Faith than chocolate ice cream did was all that was on her mind. She leaned forward and at first Faith didn't move, but after a beat she was bending over to meet Buffy halfway.

The loud tapping on the door made them both jump. Faith straightened up and knocked the half full bottle of wine to the floor.

"Shit!"

She grabbed it before it could spill, then turned back to see Buffy reaching for the glasses.

"Here."

She handed them to Faith as the knock sounded again.

"Hang on a minute! Uh…see ya out at the table, yeah?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay…Keep your fucking pants on! I said I'm com…Christ."

Faith shut the bathroom door behind her, then Buffy heard the bedroom door close as well. She blew out a long, deep breath, then reached into the water and lifted out the sexiest piece of papaya ever made.

She stood up and hit the switch to drain the tub as she stepped out. She made the shot into the trashcan, the papaya getting nothing but net, and noticed that the plate was still right where Faith had left it. She made a mental note to make sure to take it out with her after she was done showering.

Buffy turned on the water in the separate stall and it heated up in just seconds. She rinsed clean first before she washed her hair, humming and singing as she went along. Satisfied that she was clean and sudsless, she turned off the water and reached for a towel as she walked to the sink. She continued singing as she combed through her hair:

"Oh yes indeeeed…The hills are alive…"

She looked at herself in the mirror:

"Can't say we're not full of surprises."

With a smile she headed into the bedroom to get dressed, the plate totally forgotten.

Chapter Six

Buffy couldn't stop tapping on the table. She was sitting in a salmon colored chair in the Atrium across from the Front Office, watching while Faith charmed the woman behind the counter. The woman, who had seemed nothing but straight every time they'd interacted with her over the last four days, was now blushing and giggling and looking totally smitten. Faith was oozing sex appeal and charisma all over her and she didn't stand a chance.

Five minutes later, Faith walked over to Buffy and plopped down in the chair next to her.

"Okay, so they're still onboard. They checked back in 'bout an hour before we left Puerto Vallarta."

"So where are they then?"

"Susan says they were one of the first people off when we docked this morning. They said they couldn't wait to check out the beaches and they gave her their room key."

"And she remembers them because…"

"Because Nancy kept calling it 'The Pearl of the Pacific', which was just as fucking stupid as it sounds."

Buffy slammed her hand down on the table:

"Damn it! We should have gotten up sooner."

"We coulda if you hadn't kept us up all night."

"Excuse me, you did more than your share of tossing and turning."

"Because you couldn't settle the fuck down."

"That's so not the point, Faith."

Faith rolled her eyes as she stretched out her legs.

"Yeah, well not much we can do until they get back. Too much beach and city out there."

"And the ever so helpful Susan didn't find out which beach they were going to?"

"No, she didn't and why the fuck would she?"

"It is an information desk, isn't it?"

"For the ship, B. She doesn't…"

Buffy gave a dismissive wave of her hand:

"Whatever. I just don't get why they weren't in their room last night."

"Probably were, but were just all tied up."

"Oh, brother."

"What? That was fuckin' funny and you know it."

"For you, maybe."

"For anybody. And you already admitted I can bring the comedy gold at will."

"Yeah, you're really something."

Faith shook her head and practically sneered at Buffy:

"Jesus, gonna get your balls in such an uproar, why didn't you slap a tracer on Carmen's big ass when ya had the chance?"

"Don't start with that again…sweetie."

"What the fuck are you…"

A group of four women joined them in the sitting area. They were all wearing flip-flops, tropical print shirts, and shorts. They each had oversized hats and were carrying towels and other beach paraphernalia.

"So how long, Carol?"

"They said they'd meet us here in ten or fifteen."

"Well, I hope they hurry. The beaches here are supposed to be to die for."

Two of the women sat down on the couch against the wall, but the other two remained standing next to Buffy and Faith's table looking hopefully towards the entrance. Carol glanced at them and a look of recognition crossed her face. She smiled and Buffy smiled back as she reached for Faith's hand across the table.

Even though they were irritated with each other, their hands fit perfectly. Faith's thumb instantly began rubbing the back of Buffy's hand and Buffy felt herself relaxing as she fell into character.

"Hi. You're the couple in the Honeymoon suite, right?"

Buffy's smile widened:

"That's us."

Carol was clearly excited.

"So what's it like? Is it beautiful? Romantic? Cheesy?"

"Yes."

Everyone laughed at Buffy's answer.

"So what makes it different from the regular Penthouse suite?"

"I'm guessing it's the heart-shaped bed and bathtub…and my wife, of course."

Buffy felt Faith's hand tighten slightly, but when she looked at her she seemed just like she always did.

Carol smiled as she stared back and forth between them:

"You two have made quite the impression around here. Everybody's talking about how hot…in love you guys are."

Faith clearly wasn't in a talking mood, so Buffy kept going.

"Well, just look at her. Who wouldn't love her?"

"Check a mirror."

Muttered softly by one of the other women, but both Slayers heard her. Buffy preened visibly, and Faith smiled slightly at her reaction.

"And what's on the inside is even better. I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"That's so sweet."

Faith hand tightened again, but this time she was standing and pulling Buffy to her feet.

"Sorry, girls, we gotta motor. Have a good time at the beach."

And with that she left, dragging a confused, but still smiling Buffy behind her. Faith didn't stop moving until they made it to the elevators and the instant they were alone, Buffy turned to her:

"What was that all about?"

"We're supposed to be making a plan, not shootin' the shit with Carol."

They rode the elevator up to their deck in silence and went into their room. Only one person had been inside and since it was once again spotless, they knew who it was. Still they checked and when they were sure, Faith sat down at the dining room table.

"So let's get this going."

"Okay, but what's with the mood?"

"I don't have one, just wanna do my job, alright?"

Buffy stood looking down at her with her arms folded across her chest:

"You're really going to deny you're in a bad mood?"

"Yeah, I really am, but you wanna talk about bad moods, why don't you go check in a mirror?"

"Oh my God, that bothered you?"

"No, I'm used to everybody drooling all over you by now."

"Everybody? That's two people and one was an S&M weirdo!"

Faith stood up:

"Oh please, Buffy. There's not a woman on this boat…"

"Tell me you're kidding! Every time we go to the pool, every woman there is imagining you naked, which isn't all that hard to do since your suit's practically non-existent."

"Well I'm not the one smiling all 'Buffy' at every fucking person I see."

"And I'm not the one trying to have sex with Susan right on the Front Desk counter."

Faith's eyes narrowed:

"I was doin' my fucking job."

"Yeah, emphasis on the 'fucking'!"

"Least I don't throw food in the tub with me and…"

"I knew it! We should have talked about that yesterday, but no, you had to act like nothing happened."

"Nothing did happen, so stop making a big deal outta…"

Buffy snorted in disbelief:

"Me? Talk about needing to look in a mirror! I'm playing my part, Faith, trying to stop women from being sold into bondage."

"Yeah? Well I'm right here too, doin' the same fucking thing. So don't try to go all high and mighty on me."

"I'm simply trying to point out that we have a job to…"

"Look, just three more days and this fucked up cruise is over. Then we can go right back to how we used to be!"

Buffy stood looking at her for a moment, then walked over to the glass door and stared out at the dock and the other ships. She could feel the tears building and she didn't exactly know why. It wasn't like she wasn't used to fighting with Faith, they fought all the time and this wasn't even half as angry as they usually got…but that last comment had hurt her feelings and as hard as she tried, she couldn't help it.

"B…"

She heard Faith right behind her and she willed herself not to let the tears spill down her cheeks.

"I don't wanna fight with you."

She said it low and intimate, and right next to Buffy's ear.

"B?"

And then Faith's lips gently brushed her bare shoulder.

"I'm sorry, alright? I guess I am bein' grouchy. Yesterday kinda shook me up and I been feelin'…"

Buffy turned slowly to face her.

"Unsure, confused, scared…"

"Yeah."

"…and like somehow it just feels so right."

"…Yeah."

"Me too."

"So what's it mean?"

Buffy slipped her arms around Faith's waist:

"I'd say it means I'm falling for you, but it feels different than that…like I already fell for you a long time ago and I'm just now realizing it because it just happened…which makes the kind of sense that doesn't because we've known each other for…"

"B?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Shut up."

And Faith kissed her.

It was different than all of the other times – gentle, almost delicate, but with the promise of something else behind it. It was just their lips that met, their tongues deciding to stay home and bide their time. Faith pulled back first, her eyes intense and searching, and Buffy's hand came up to smooth along her cheek.

Faith's eyes closed as she leaned into the caress, a tiny sigh of pleasure that sounded so loud to Buffy. She moved closer as her lips found Faith's, the sigh happening again, only this time it was a moan and it was also Buffy's breaking point.

Her grip became like iron as she pulled Faith's body to her own as tightly as she could, the hand on Faith's cheek sliding around to the back of her neck and tilting her head to the most accessible angle. Her lips were hard, demanding, and her tongue slid into Faith's mouth, all possessive insistence.

Faith was not a woman who ever allowed herself to be possessed or controlled or handled, yet she felt herself going right with Buffy, step for step, following wherever she led. Buffy's hot and insistent hands were touching wherever they could as her mouth kept up the heavenly pressure, her tongue exploring everywhere it could reach. She began walking Faith backwards toward the bedroom, not stopping until the back of Faith's legs hit the point of the heart shaped bed and she sat down.

The contact was broken, but Buffy's eyes had latched onto Faith's, holding onto her just as tightly.

"Faith…God, I want you so much."

The familiar grin was mixed with an unusual shyness, and the sight of it ratcheted up Buffy's desire to a red-hot intensity.

"I'm right here, B."

Buffy stripped, becoming bolder as Faith's gaze became more lust filled with each piece of clothing that disappeared.

"Jesus, Buffy…You are so beautiful."

She said nothing as she approached, then straddled Faith. She kissed her, putting her hands on Faith's chest as she slowly pushed her down flat on the bed.

"I want you."

And then Buffy took her. Her hands slid under clothes, touching with what seemed like blazing fire to Faith. Her fingers pinched and stroked, her nails grazing seductively in all of the right places, and just when Faith thought she was going to go crazy with desire, she heard her clothes tearing – Buffy was all done waiting.

The feel of skin on skin caused both girls to pause, convinced that nothing had ever felt so good, but knowing that assertion was about to change in seconds. Buffy's hands slid up Faith's waist, gliding smoothly until each contained a breast. She moaned like the pleasure was all hers, and then her thumbs stroked across both nipples in time.

Faith jumped, her eyes closing with pleasure as she struggled not to lose total control of herself. Buffy kept going, fascinated by how hard Faith had become. She wasn't aware of it, but she was also moving, sliding back and forth against the muscles of Faith's stomach, lost in the sensation and the view before her.

"B…"

Buffy smiled at the desperate sound and lowered her mouth to taste one of the rock hard nipples. Faith jolted, and to her embarrassment she lost her battle with staying cool. Her hands went to Buffy's hips, moving her as she lifted up to give Buffy something to rub against, but Buffy wasn't interested. Her mouth switched breasts and her hands pulled Faith's away from her.

"B…"

Buffy entwined their fingers and Faith finally understood why holding hands with her had always been so sexy. She pulled back from Faith's nipple, her teeth catching it at the tip as her tongue swirled around, and Faith's grip tightened. She would have broken anyone else's fingers, but then her reaction would have never been so out of control with anyone else.

She could feel Buffy smile around her, then she felt and heard the low knowing laugh as her teeth finally let go and she began kissing every square inch of skin she could. She continued leisurely until she was stretched out fully on top of Faith, her face buried in her neck, their hands still entwined. She kissed her way slowly up to Faith's ear, so slowly that Faith felt like she was going insane, and whispered:

"I want you."

Faith tugged her hands free and wrapped her arms around Buffy, pulling her close and letting her legs part so that Buffy's center rested directly against hers. She began moving slowly, and Buffy responded by kissing her neck again, softly at first and then with a force that made Faith cry out with the feeling of it. It made her jerk upwards and pushed them together everywhere.

"Faith…"

Faith's legs wrapped around Buffy, refusing to let her escape, not that Buffy was trying to. They began moving together, Buffy thrusting against her and Faith rising to meet her. They set a regular pace that sped up quickly until they were moving as one – each tense, sweating, murmuring words of passion, sounds of love, and they came as one in an explosion of ecstasy…and they kept right on going.

Buffy moved away despite Faith protests and began kissing her way down the most beautiful body she'd ever seen. There was a slight sheen of sweat, and without thought, Buffy's tongue dragged through it, savoring the salty taste as she made her way to her destination. Goose bumps preceded her, rising as she got closer, and Faith's moans provided the perfect soundtrack for her journey.

She stopped at Faith's navel, fascinated by the up close view. She kissed it, traced it with her tongue, her lips making love to it in a way that should have been ridiculous, but instead was the sexiest thing Faith had ever seen or felt. She saw Buffy's teeth flash right before she bit the skin below it, and the pain provided so much pleasure, she nearly came again.

"Shhh, baby."

Faith watched as Buffy slid all the way down, her face poised right there…but then she was going down further and taking Faith right with her. In just moments Buffy was kneeling on the floor, her strong and sure hands lifting Faith's legs to drape over her shoulders.

"I wanna do this right, F."

And then right and wrong no longer had any meaning for Faith as she felt Buffy's tongue. She came at the first touch, but it didn't seem to matter to Buffy, she wasn't nearly done. She was consumed by her desire to taste and touch, to make Faith hers, and she could hear the cries of pleasure through the roaring in her ears, could feel the tension building again in Faith…and then again and again. It was wild, it was intense, and it was theirs, and Buffy couldn't stop, not until they were done.

She finally pulled away when Faith went limp, her voice hoarse and unable to do anything except whisper:

"B…"

With a final kiss Buffy stood, lifting Faith into her arms and placing her back on the bed with a pillow beneath her head. She then placed herself back on Faith, her hands still touching and caressing everywhere, her mouth still tasting and kissing and marking and…

"Okay, my turn."

Faith grasped Buffy's hips and pulled her, sliding her along her body and forcing Buffy to sit up on her knees to avoid crashing headfirst into the headboard. As she did, Faith lifted her and without any ceremony or hesitation, she dropped Buffy down onto her waiting mouth.

Buffy's eyes opened wide, then closed as her head flung back when Faith went to work. She gripped tightly to the headboard, doing her best not to break it as Faith's tongue probed and prodded and twirled and drove Buffy right out of her mind. She tried to shift, but Faith kept her right where she was, and it took less than a minute before Buffy was coming.

Her yell was silent, her mouth opening as she sat up straighter, her leg muscles closing around Faith's head. Faith eased off, her mouth placing kisses on the inside of Buffy's thighs, but when she slumped forward, Faith started anew. She slipped her hands around to grasp Buffy's ass and encouraged her to start rocking, to set her own pace. Any embarrassment Buffy might have felt at the situation never even made a dent. Faith was in her and encouraging her to ride – and so Buffy rode.

She rocked back and forth wantonly, her hair falling in front of her as she set herself in motion…back and forth, back and forth while Faith stayed right with her. She began coming, but she didn't stop, riding it out until it became something else. As she came again she lifted herself away, but Faith wasn't accepting that. Her hands pulled Buffy back down and held her there, refusing to let her lessen the intensity, making it hurt in a way that was so great, Buffy felt herself leaving her body.

It didn't scare her, she knew she was in good hands, and she went where every bit of her wanted to go. Bright lights flashed before her eyes, her body went rigid, then limp as she felt herself drifting off on a blissful, Faith-shaped cloud that knew her inside and out. It could give and take with her every step of the way, and without any doubt or hesitation, Buffy let go … trusting Faith with everything.

By the time she'd re-gathered her wits, their positions had changed. She was on the bottom and Faith was next to her, her hand stroking up and down Buffy's body.

"There ya are. I been waiting."

"Waiting?"

Faith kissed her – dark and wild, and with more passion than Buffy had ever felt from anyone. She entered her with two fingers that knew exactly what to do, and she had Buffy moving with her in seconds. Her thrusts were slow and gentle, hard and fast, and everything in between. She drove Buffy on, taking her right to the edge, then pulling her back every time.

Buffy knew Faith was playing with her, controlling her, and it made her smile even though she wanted to smack her.

"Stop it."

"Not gonna, B."

"Such…a…bitch."

Faith kissed her again, her tongue moving in rhythm with her thrusts.

"Ya already knew that."

She sped up and so did Buffy, her hand reaching for Faith to deliver some tit for tat, but Faith's hips kept shifting just out of reach. She laughed at the frustration on Buffy's face, then finally took pity on her. She let her thumb stroke across Buffy…right there…and she kept up the steady rhythm until Buffy blew sky-high.

Faith was kissing her as she came, her yell exhaling into Faith's mouth and making it hard for both of them to breathe. Faith pulled back slightly, then kissed Buffy's cheek. She left her hand right where it was as Buffy's body continued to shake with the occasional shudder. She ran her free hand lightly along Buffy's body, for the most part avoiding the hotspots while she let her wind down.

 It took her a long time, but Faith didn't mind. She spent the time just looking, and it was a sight she knew she was never, ever going to forget. Buffy was all messed up – her hair was all over the place and stuck in spots to her flushed pink skin. She had a hickey on her right breast, her mouth was hanging open as she panted for air, and she looked loose and sexy and happy.

She smiled with her eyes still closed and her hand lifted awkwardly to the back of Faith's head to pull her down into range. Buffy kissed her, then groaned as Faith's hand inadvertently moved.

"Sorry. Guess I gotta leave now."

"Not on my account. You're welcome to stay forever."

"Better not give me that opening, B."

"I already did, F."

Faith laughed as she carefully removed her hand.

"Wow. That was…"

"It was fucking off the charts, B."

"We didn't really look, it could have been on them."

"Yeah, Red did have'em all snazzy and shit."

She nuzzled into Buffy's stomach:

"Wanna take a bath together?"

"Do I look like I can even move?"

"Sure, c'mon. You're a Slayer, you got all that extra energy."

Buffy opened one eye:

"Are you serious?"

"Wicked serious."

"Let's take a nap first."

Faith slid up Buffy's body, making her moan a long drawn out moan. She stopped when she was face to face with her one-eyed lover, wearing nothing but a huge smile.

"See? Still got some in ya. C'mon, B."

"Just one hour and…"

"I'll get everything ready, then you can sleep in there."

"Faith…"

But her other eye was open now.

"I'll even hold ya so you don't drown, and I promise to make sure your tits get extra special clean."

Buffy lifted her head slightly and kissed her.

"Okay, let's go."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Faith was up, naked and bouncing, and Buffy was now wide awake.

"You stay put, B. Let me get it ready, then I'll come back and get ya."

She took off all excited and in seconds Buffy heard the water running and Faith whistling happily under her breath. The bed was so cozy and warm and it smelled like Faith…It was a good bed, the best bed ever…It couldn't be more perfect if…

Buffy sensed Faith leaning over her.

"Bathtub or ya just wanna stay put, B?"

"I want to be anywhere you are, F."

Buffy felt her slip under the covers, her arms wrapping around her tight.

"Works for me, baby."

They awoke from their nap, had sex, and then ordered a huge late lunch. Faith wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed that their room had become a den of hot, wild sex, and she'd worn nothing except the ship provided robe to greet the room service employee. Her hair made it look like she'd just rolled out of bed and the two giant hickeys visible on her neck confirmed it. She made a risqué joke about how she loved to eat in bed and then with a twenty dollar tip, she sent the employee back out into the hall.

Buffy stayed in bed, the sheet up to her neck, and Faith laughed when she saw her.

"Already seen the goods, B, from every angle."

"It's not you I was worried about."

"Well, considering the door was mostly shut…Guess she coulda had x-ray vision."

"Exactly. You just can't be too careful."

Faith rolled the cart next to the bed:

"Maybe, but I wanna see'em, so drop it."

Buffy did and Faith bent over to deliver a kiss to each one before she sat down on the edge of the bed. She lifted a silver lid and grabbed a fry:

"Nice and hot. How do they do it, B?"

"It's a modern miracle, Faith."

"Laugh all ya want, but it's fuckin' awesome."

They ate like two Slayers having non-stop sex, and when they were done, they put everything back on the cart and Faith shoved it out into the narrow hallway, just like they weren't supposed to. She was back in bed in what was probably record time and she pulled Buffy to her, wrapping her arms around her as Buffy happily snuggled in.

"Mmmm..."

"Gotta agree with ya."

"I'm so happy right now, I think it might be illegal."

"Yeah, B?"

"Yeah, F. Who knew?"

"Think maybe we did."

"I think maybe you're right."

They said nothing for a long time, content to cuddle in bed until Buffy lifted her head to look at the bedside clock.

"We have four and a half hours before we have to go have dinner with the Captain."

"I don't wanna go. I just wanna stay here."

Buffy smiled and kissed her:

"I know, me too."

"So, let's do it."

"Faith, we are working and time's getting short. We need to get a tour from the Captain so we can see the places we…"

"I don't fucking care. I just wanna stay here with you."

"I know, but just think: we'll go eat, see what we need to see, scare Carmen and Nancy, stop the demons, and then make love the whole rest of the night."

Faith pulled Buffy all the way over on top of her:

"And how many hours is tonight gonna run for?"

"Hmm…probably a hundred."

"Gonna have to with a packed schedule like that."

Buffy kissed the side of her neck, swirling her tongue around on the sensitive spot she'd found earlier.

"But here's the thing, F – no matter what else we have to do?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I'm always going to make time for this."

Faith's smile seemed to light up the entire suite.

"That a promise, B?"

"Slayer promise. Just a few hours with you and I'm totally addicted."

"I can get behind that."

"Which you already did very well."

Faith laughed and rolled them over so that she was on top.

"But there's plenty of other things we need to try."

"Really?"

"Trust me, we barely scratched the surface."

"Ooh, you sound all sexy when you know what you're talking about."

Faith's hand began circling lower and lower:

"Think I sound sexy all the time."

"True…and now you…feel sexy too."

"I can do it all, B."

Buffy dramatically threw her arms out to her sides:

"Teach me what I don't know."

"Gonna teach ya what ya know too."

"Wow, a little full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I got the skills and can back it up, baby."

"Again with the 'taking me from behind' thing. I think you might be obsessed."

"Ya think?"

Buffy had just a split second warning before Faith flipped her over onto her stomach.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"Not a thing, F, except lay here and enjoy it."

And she had, they both had.

An hour passed before they were satisfied and settled down, and they decided it was time to call home and see if there was any new information they could use.

"Maybe they've got something by now."

"Maybe. Gimme the phone, B."

"Why?"

"Because if you talk to Willow, you won't be able to keep it in and you'll be blabbin' all over the place."

"I will not! And what exactly does that mean?"

"What?"

Buffy sat up, her expression on its way to angry:

"Why can't I tell her? Don't you want anyone to know?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Am I having sex with someone else?"

"Not today."

"So what's with the keeping it secret?"

Faith sat up too and Buffy's eyes couldn't help but look at her suddenly uncovered breasts. They were works of art, things of beauty, and she couldn't decide which one was better.

"..which is the only reason, okay?"

"What?"

"What do ya mean 'what'? I can't say it any plainer than that."

"Right, but uh…"

Faith looked at her suspiciously:

"Were you even payin' attention?"

"No, but that's not my fault. You whipped your boobs out right in the middle of things and I lost my focus for a second."

"I didn't 'whip'em out', they're just here."

"Well whatever, I was distracted, so repeat your reason."

"I said that I just figured you'd wanna tell Red face to face, is all. If it was up to me, I'd be braggin' to everybody."

"You'd be 'bragging'?"

Faith pulled her closer for a kiss.

"Hell yeah, I would! This is the high point of my life, so yeah, I got no problems tellin' everybody about us every chance I get."

Buffy looked at her and smiled:

"You can say the sweetest things without even trying to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Here."

She handed Faith her cell phone:

"You're right, you should make the call. It'd be way better if I told Will face to face."

"So I got one right? Damn, this thing have a camera in it?"

Buffy laughed as she smacked her lightly on the shoulder.

"Funny girl. But I'm going to snuggle up with you while you talk."

"If she gets suspicious, I'll tell her I had to sit on ya to get control."

She hit #3 and waited for the phone to finish instant dialing. Willow answered on the second ring:

"Hi, Buff! Still wanna throw Faith overboard?"

"Yeah she tried, but I nailed her ass first."

Buffy muffled her laughter over the double meaning, and Willow tried to cover her embarrassment.

"Oh…uh…Hi, Faith! Did Buffy tell you how overboard she is with happiness that you two are…"

"Save it, Red. I get it. The Princess always has her panties twisted in a bunch about somethin'."

Buffy twisted her nipple for that, hard, and Faith flinched and had to mouth – "Sorry" before she'd stop.

"So how's it going in Mazatlan?"

"Great. Best place I've ever been."

Her hand caressed Buffy's cheek, and Buffy smiled and leaned into her.

"We were wondering if ya had any info for us."

"Yes and no, but how come Buffy's not calling?"

"Uh…'cause she's in the bathroom."

"In the bathroom? Why didn't you wait to call then?"

"We ate Mexican, so it's a crapshoot, ya know?"

"Oh. I hope she's okay."

Buffy's face made it clear she thought Faith was an idiot.

"'Sides, can't I check in without the third degree? I'm part of the team too, ya know."

"Well sure, of course you are…but I just meant why are you using her phone instead of your own?"

"What?"

"Why aren't you calling from your own phone?"

"Uh…I lost it."

Buffy was shaking her head: "No, don't say that!"

"You lost your brand new phone?"

"Yeah, it fell overboard."

"Oh boy, Giles is not going to be happy."

Faith looked at her phone sitting safely on the dresser.

"Can I just get the info and…"

"'Giles is not going to be happy' about what?"

"Oh. Hi, Giles! You're back!"

"As this is my office, yes, I thought I'd stop by."

"Shit."

Buffy mouthed at Faith:

"What?"

"Giles is there."

"Yes, well, all exuberance and hugging aside, Willow, since we last saw one another a scant six minutes ago, I'd like to hear what I will not be happy about."

"Don't fucking tell him!"

"Hello, Faith. I take it you're not aware that you're on speaker phone."

"Willow, fuck!"

Buffy sat up straight: "Oh crap."

"Course I knew, G-Man! How's it hangin'?"

"I'm fine, thank you, but I would like to know what you've done this time."

"Me? Damn, what's with the lack of faith?"

Faith laughed way too loud and way too long at her own joke, and Buffy had to clamp a hand over her mouth to get her to stop.

"Let's see: Willow is beet red and you're attempting to deflect the subject as you always do when you've done something wrong. Would either of you girls care to fill me in?"

Silence met his question and years of experience told him there was no point in waiting.

"Very well then, I'm afraid you leave me no choice. Willow, I must say I'm greatly disappointed in you. I count on your…"

Faith and Willow both spoke at the same time:

"Don't let him get to you, Red!"

"Faith lost her cell phone!"

"Oh for God's sake!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Willow. Why ya gotta…"

"I'm sorry, but he was looking at me all sad!"

"This is the third bloody phone in less than six months. You assured me this time…"

Buffy gestured at her:

"Disconnect!"

"…and although it was an absurd amount of money for a communication device, I gave in because…"

"I needed it, Giles! You want me walkin' around without 'Angry Birds' and 'Fruit Ninja'?"

"…you promised to hang onto your 'ePhone'."

"It's 'iPhone', Giles."

"Yes, thank you, Willow, for that totally useless vowel correction!"

"Hang up!"

Faith shook her head at Buffy:

"Listen, I'm callin' in for info, so if you guys could try being professional…"

"But Giles, why are you mad at me? Faith's the one…"

"Fuck Willow, want me to get a running start towards the freakin' bus?"

"Faith…"

Buffy's whisper was the only warning she gave before trying to snatch the phone away from her, but Faith wasn't having it. She straight armed Buffy and turned her back to her.

"I stand in absolute awe at the irresponsibility on display, and you may rest assured upon your return we shall…"

"Give me the phone."

Buffy was still trying to grab it in order to perform some kind of damage control, but Faith was resisting, all without really paying attention.

"Wanna talk about irresponsible? What about last month when Buffy rolled up on Xander's tools? Didn't hear ya busting her balls for that!"

"I'm afraid your pay will also have to be docked. It's the only way you'll perhaps even begin to learn...."

His desk phone began ringing and he either didn't hear it or he was ignoring it.

"…to value the property you've been entrusted with."

"Yeah? Well as little as I get paid, I'll still be payin' it off when I'm dead."

Willow picked up the ringing phone:

"Rupert Giles' desk."

"Hi, Will."

"Hi, Buffy. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine."

"That's a relief. Montezuma's Revenge can be really…"

She glanced down at the display:

"Hey wait a second, how can you be calling from Faith's phone?"

"No, I'm bloody well not overreacting. You show not the slightest sign of remorse, nor do you…"

"She never lost it, Will. She got flustered and lied."

"Oh. Why?"

Well, you're not going to believe this, but…we had sex today…a bunch of times."

"You did? With who?"

"With each other, Willow!"

"You and her? Faith and you? The two of you finally? Oh my God!"

"Yeah? Then maybe ya oughta just buy me a coupla tins cans and a piece of string."

"The idea has crossed my mind, but I'm not at all sure you could manage to hang onto even that."

"'Oh my God' good or 'Oh my God' bad?"

"It's all of the good, Buffy. I'm just kinda shocked, you know?"

"Yep, I'm definitely riding the 'Shock Train' right with you, Will. We'll talk about it more when I get home, but the main thing for now is – it's really good. Crazy good."

"Wow, I bet it is! I wish I was there with you…but not 'there' there, especially not when you guys are…Not that it wouldn't be hot…Okay, being quiet, supportive best friend now."

"Thanks, Will."

"Don't you bloody well try to turn this around! Everyone else…"

"Can you get his attention? I'll get hers."

"I'll try, but his glasses are off and he's clucking in between words."

"Well, she's doing her 'furious stomping' thing…but she's without clothes which makes it a lot better than usual."

"That must be quite a sight…Giles is wearing all of his clothes."

Buffy laughed.

"Which is also of the good."

"The goodest of the good."

"Okay, ready?"

"Yep, I can always do a 'Silencing' spell on him if I have to."

"And I absolutely know how to silence Faith now."

Willow laughed:

"Okay, well thanks for calling, Buff."

"It was my pleasure, Will."

********************************

Faith was sitting at the dining room table, drumming impatiently.

"B, hurry up!"

"I'm coming!"

"Again? Thought I wrung the last one…"

"Shut up."

Buffy emerged from the bedroom, her dress looking like it was made for her.

"Damn, you look beautiful."

"You do too, plus also very smart."

Faith hugged her and kissed her on the chin, a seemingly make-up free spot.

"You don't mind too much, do ya?"

"I don't mind at all, F."

Faith had volunteered earlier to dress in formal wear and leave her Smart Casual outfit behind if Buffy really wanted her to.

"I know how much you like that shit, B, so if you want, I'll do it."

"God, you are the sweetest woman ever."

"Which means?"

Buffy had joined her on the chair in the sitting area.

"Which means: no, you don't have to because I'll just wear that green and white dress that's in between casual and formal…and it also means that I'm going to have sex with you now for being so thoughtful."

That had thrown them slightly off schedule, but they'd gotten back on track and were now fine if they could just get going.

Buffy caught sight of herself in the mirror above the side table and began fiddling with her hair.

"B, we're gonna be late if we don't leave right now."

"Hmmm?"

"Eight o'clock dinner, Captain's table, showing up late not exactly a way to get on this asshole's favorite side."

She stood and took Buffy firmly by the elbow.

"Move it, Princess."

Buffy left the mirror reluctantly, but she didn't put up a fight as Faith pushed her into the hall, slapped the dime into place, and closed the door.

"Damn, B, gonna have to beat'em off ya with a stick tonight."

Buffy smiled and hooked her arm through Faith's:

"No you're not, but it won't matter anyway. I just want you."

Faith's smile said it all, and she kissed the top of Buffy's head.

"Am I s'posed to get so turned on every time you say anything?"

Buffy laughed and leaned into her, increasing the effect.

"I think so."

"Got no clue how I'm gonna make it through dinner."

"Well, we won't be sitting next to each other, so that should help."

"'Help'? No way, B. We'll be across from each other, so I'm gonna be lookin' at you the whole time."

"So you were paying attention before!"

Buffy had gone over the rules for eating at the Captain's table before they'd started getting ready, and it was obvious that Faith had not the slightest bit of interest.

 "Why do we need rules for eating? Here's one: pick up the food and shove it in your mouth."

"Would you please stop? We want to make a good impression, and following protocol will help with that."

"Yeah, fine, but if your card's next to this asshole, he'd better watch his nuts."

Buffy kept reading the printout.

"Okay, so the Captain chose the menu…"

"Terrific, now he's fuckin' with my woman and my food."

"…which they included, and you'll be just fine."

"Right, so Captain Hitler tells us where to sit and what to eat…"

"And he also decided on a casual dress code, so he can't be totally evil, can he?"

Faith's expression looked angry, but her dimples gave her away.

"Even a busted clock's right twice, B."

"Yeah, I paid attention. We do got a job to do."

They were at the elevator and Buffy unhooked her arm to push the "down" button.

"Yes we do, and the faster we get it done…"

Faith jumped slightly as she felt Buffy's hand caressing her ass.

"Any chance you'd consider headin' back to our room, B?"

"I've already considered it at least ten times, but we're on the clock, F."

"Fine, but this better wrap fast."

The dinner was taking place at the Vista Restaurant, and they were escorted to the Captain's table on the first floor without delay. There were already two other guests seated: Randi and Laura, their across the hall neighbors, and Buffy tried her hardest not to think about the last time she'd seen them. At least she was looking at their faces now.

Greetings were exchanged and they took their seats, marveling at the intricate elephant ice sculpture that doubled as the table's centerpiece.  Faith was seated next to the Captain, but before Buffy even had time to contemplate all of the ways that could go wrong, she saw her name card was next to Carmen's. Faith instantly bristled and Buffy smiled her most reassuring smile as she sat down.

She thought about switching their cards, but putting Faith next to Carmen was just asking for way more trouble than they could afford, and the Captain probably didn't condone outright murder at the table anyway. If she wanted to switch their seats, she'd have to switch all of the cards around, and that would be incredibly complicated, plus Randi and Laura would undoubtedly have several unanswerable questions as to just what the hell Buffy thought she was doing. There was nothing the Slayers could do except ride it out and hope for the best. Faith was going to have to charm Captain Stahre-Janson and Buffy was going to have to make Carmen sweat in a non-pleasant, non-sexy way.

Faith was still glowering, obviously imagining Carmen's head as the table's new centerpiece, so Buffy smiled her best "Buffy" smile and held up a book of matches:

"Look Faith, the personalized matchbooks."

Faith didn't want to stop doing a slow burn, but she couldn't help it – she loved the idea of her name in gold on a book of matches. In fact, one wasn't enough, she wanted more.

"It's pretty cool, B. Toss me yours."

Buffy did and Faith caught them easily, reading the name and giving Buffy a cocky look:

"'Buffy Lehane'. Looks good, B."

"It feels good too. I love having your last name…and everything else, F."

Faith laughed and slid Buffy's matches into her shirt pocket. She wasn't stupid, she knew that Buffy was trying to calm her down and remind her of their mission, all while making it crystal clear that she was Faith's, and Faith's alone. The tension faded away just like that, and she winked and nodded at Buffy that she was okay and ready.

Everyone else began arriving, and as eight o'clock approached, Carmen and Nancy were still conspicuously absent. Faith was talking to an older woman on her right and she seemed to be in love with Faith.

"It's so lovely to come across a polite young woman, especially such a beautiful one. So many girls your age don't seem to have any respect for the older generation. I was on the front lines, you know, paving the way for you and your wife to have the open, loving relationship you now have."

"Yes ma'am, and I can tell you we truly appreciate the sacrifices you made for us."

She patted Faith's arm:

"There's no need to thank me, dear. It's thanks enough just to know you're aware."

Two men in uniforms approached the table and close behind them came the Captain. Everyone stood respectfully, although Buffy noticed Faith was the last to make it to her feet.

"Thank you, everyone. Please be seated."

The Captain took her seat and Buffy had to use all of her self-control to stop herself from laughing at Faith's expression. Apparently "nut cutting" was no longer an option since it was doubtful that Karin Stahre-Janson possessed any to lose.

The officers who'd accompanied the Captain sat down in the two empty chairs while the Captain explained that due to some last minute emergency, none of them would be having the pleasure of the S&M queens. Faith looked positively giddy and the man who now sat next to Buffy introduced himself as the ship's Chief Engineer.

As the meal began it became apparent that he was a sparkling dinner conversationalist, and his anecdotes were interesting or funny, sometimes both at once. He was incredibly handsome and intelligent, able to converse about a broad range of topics with ease. He was totally fascinating and should have held Buffy riveted. Instead she found she could barely give him even the politest of attention as she watched Faith completely and utterly charm and captivate Captain Karin Stahre-Janson, the only female captain in the entire Holland America Line.

Faith was doing her job and she was doing it great. Her expression was full of interest and admiration, and it seemed that every word out of the Captain's mouth had Faith simply awestruck. The Captain hadn't spoken to the man on the other side of her more than twice, and as the meal went on, there was no one else at the table for her except Faith. Buffy wanted to blow her brains out.

"Why yes, that's right, Faith. The ms Oosterdam is a Vista-class ship. She's 936 feet long, and she holds 1916 passengers as well a crew of 817."

"She's a beauty, for sure. And quite an honor for a woman as young as you to be in charge of her."

"That it is, but when the position became available, I jumped at the chance. I made the case that a ship focused primarily on lesbian cruises needed a woman at her helm."

"Couldn't agree more. And a lesbian woman on top of it – can't get any more perfect than that, Captain."

"Oh please, Faith, call me Karin."

She patted Faith's hand as she said that, and Buffy could feel herself starting to boil despite the stupidity of that emotion. She kept repeating in her head that Faith was simply doing her job, but why that had to include so much touching was a little on the confusing side. Then Faith confessed that she thought the ship was named: "Ms. Oosterdam", and Karin was just tickled so pink, Buffy was sure she was going to try to hump Faith where she sat.

"That is so adorable."

"Well, I figured it was a whole feminist thing, ya know?"

Karin did know, Buffy could see that she did, and Buffy wantedto smack her right in the face so she could know something else too…and dear God in heaven, could Arlen stop talking in her ear about the last cruise he was on when the engine tried to explode?

The courses arrived one after the other and the food was delicious. Karin even spoke to Buffy twice – once to tell her how pretty she looked and how her dress bought out the green in her eyes, the other to tell her what a lucky woman she was to have captured Faith's heart. It was sweet and it took everything Buffy had not to stand up and go all schoolyard on her:

"Yeah, that's right bitch, I did capture her heart and every other part of her, so get your big man hands off her."

But one look into Faith's eyes pushed the jealousy aside as the totally stupid knee jerk reaction that it was. The stare she gave Buffy was so hot, Buffy almost leapt across the table to get to her. Faith's beautiful mouth formed into a knowing grin, and then she licked her lips as she shot a blast of pure lust at Buffy.

Buffy smiled back and felt herself calming down. Faith was a Slayer, a Slayer playing her part, and even though Captain Star-Jones was very hot in her uniform and probably out of it too…Faith didn't care about her at all. She only had eyes and all of her other parts for Buffy.

The meal finally wrapped and everyone was taken on a tour of the ship. The Captain provided the background, explaining that the ms Oosterdam had been christened by Princess Margaret of the Netherlands in 2003, that it had been built in Italy, and was considered a sister ship to three other "dam" ships. It was capable of hitting 24 knots or 44 KM/H, and Buffy resisted the urge to ask for a translation into MPH since no one else seemed to be confused.

The engine was apparently huge and stretched over the lowest two decks, requiring a staff of nearly fifty people to keep it running smoothly. It was also off limits, although the tour did take them to the Engine Room itself.

"This is where all of the important engine functions are controlled, although we still often rely on the hands-on expertise of our engineers. Chief Engineer Davids can answer any inquiries you might have."

Buffy's dinner companion answered several questions, none of which Buffy cared about, and she was hoping that Faith was paying attention in case something important came up. She'd more than had her fill of him for the night and the cruise and her life…and he was off and running again.

"We greatly reduce our carbon footprint by utilizing a diesel-electric power plant for optimal energy efficiency, and an Azipod propulsion system that maximizes maneuverability."

When the Engine Q & A ended, the Captain took charge again and eventually they all made their way into the kitchen for a quick visit. Everyone received a large piece of cake with their name written on it, cling-wrapped expertly to a souvenir plate. The tour was over and everyone thanked the Captain for a lovely evening, which she assured them was her pleasure. Then the two officers who'd joined them for dinner offered to escort the passengers back to a non-restricted area of the ship.

"Faith, Buffy, may I speak with you for a moment?"

She looked over tomorrow's menu while she waited for everyone to leave, then turned to the Slayers:

"I asked you ladies to hang back because I thought perhaps you might enjoy a private tour."

Buffy tensed, half expecting an offer for a threesome.

"In these unfortunate times, we've had to stop offering these intimate tours, but in case it gets back to my superiors, I'll attribute it to you being our first guests in the Honeymoon Suite. Shall we?"

She took them to the crew's quarters, including their mess hall, laundry, and recreational facilities. The next stop was the bridge, and Karin allowed each of them to steer for a couple of minutes, explaining how everything worked and showing them the ins and outs of controlling such a powerful vessel.

She took them out onto the bow, and the difference was visceral. The breeze was wild, the sound of the water rushing past was loud with the frequent spray misting over them as it hit the ship with great force. Being out there gripping the railing gave them a true sense of just how fast the ship was moving, how the water was like a living thing that was fighting and struggling against the powerful entity that was insistently plowing through it. 

The view was breathtaking as they stood there surrounded by a billion twinkling stars and a moon that lit up the water as far as the eye could see.

"It's amazing, isn't it? I never get tired of coming out here, of feeling the water like this. I'm sorry if I sound corny, but it makes me realize we're all a part of the universe and it gives me such a sense of peace and hope every time I'm out here."

"It's wicked cool, Karin."

They stood there for a couple of more minutes and then Karin turned to face them.

"Let me show you my office."

They went back inside and through another door on the bridge.

The office was beautiful too, all dark gleaming wood and with a stunning view of its own.

"Wow, the whole wall's a window."

"Yes, Buffy, a view like that certainly makes doing paperwork a little easier to deal with."

"Damn, Karin, bein' boss really brings the perks, yeah?"

"Absolutely. Would either of you care for a drink?"

They both nodded and she opened a door at the back of her office leading to the Captain's quarters. It looked much like their suite only a bit larger in size. The furniture was more elegant, there were several personal items on display, and the view was flat-out amazing.

"Please have a seat on the couch. It offers the best view on the ship."

Karin brought them their drinks, a white wine for Buffy and a Jack Daniels for Faith, then sat in the plush chair next to the couch. She raised her glass of Scotch in a toast and they exchanged small talk while sipping their drinks and admiring the view.

"You have the place fixed up really nice, Karin. It's beautiful."

"Thank you, Buffy. I like to feel comfortable, and this really is my home for most of the year."

"Your family must be really proud of you, assuming you got'em."

"I do, Faith, but I'm afraid this isn't exactly the career my parents wanted for me. I guess you could say we're somewhat estranged."

"That's a drag. They ever visit?"

"Not yet, but I'm still hoping."

They talked a little bit about Buffy and Faith's background, and then Karin asked if they'd enjoyed everything the ship had to offer.

"Pretty much 'cept the spa and the gym."

"I love the spa and they come to me, so that's a slice of heaven. We also have a gym for just the officers, but I don't use it as often as I should."

Buffy nodded sympathetically:

"I guess it would be hard to stay in shape on a ship."

"I do walk every night around the track before I go to bed, so at least I'm working off dinners like tonight's."

They each had a refill, and then it was with sincere regret that Karin informed them she needed to call an end to the evening.

"I'm afraid I have some of that previously mentioned paperwork to attend to. I can't complain I know, but I do anyway. I hope you enjoyed dinner and the tour as much as I enjoyed getting to spend time with you both. It's definitely one of the best things about my job."

"We had a great time, everything was just perfect. Faith and I really appreciate the private tour, it's just incredible to get a sense of the ship like the Captain does."

Karin smiled:

"Yes, it's a completely different experience, for sure. Right this way, please."

She led them back through the bridge, then opened a door that led into the hallway. Buffy pretended to be confused and tried to open the adjacent door, the one she was certain led to the little room they'd seen a few days ago and wanted to get a look at.

"Isn't this the way back?"

Karin laughed:

"Not unless you want some of the supplies we use on the bridge."

"I dig supply rooms. Made out in more than my share. Wanna let me and B in for a sec so we can kiss? Kinda like the 'Mile High Club'.

Karin laughed even though she was shaking her head:

"I would if I could, but I don't have the code. That's what I have assistants for. Anyway, let me walk you to the elevators."

They got there all too soon and Karin stayed with them until they were inside.

"You two are a such a great couple. I can see how you've become the talk of the ship. Please don't hesitate to let me know personally if I can assist you in any way for the rest of the cruise. Goodnight, Buffy, goodnight, Faith."

The doors slid shut and didn't open until they reached their deck. They held hands as they walked back to their cabin talking about the wonderful evening they'd had, checking for any surveillance once they got there. There was none and Buffy pulled Faith to her for a passionate kiss that had been building all night.

When she let Faith come up for air, Faith was clearly a little dazed as she tried to be professional:

"B, oughta talk about shit first."

Buffy didn't seem to hear her, but then she let out a frustrated sigh and pulled back.

"Okay, something's up with the "supply" room,  Karin made me antsy  even though she seemed nice and I actually liked her a lot, I want to know what the hell's going on with Carmen and Nancy, and you looked so hot at dinner I wanted to fuck you right on the table."

"..."

"We can't really do anything tonight, but tomorrow when we get to Cabo, I think we should break into Carmen and Nancy's dungeon again and see what happens. Then we'll call home and get their final report; hopefully they'll have something concrete. Then maybe we can have some fun and when it gets late, we'll find a way into that supply room. Did I leave anything out, Faith?"

"Just one thing."

"Which is?"

Faith lifted her up into her arms:

"I gotta know what you taste like covered in turndown chocolate."

Next