by Frass
"Prison Fic" Challenge:
Rating: NC-17
indle Download (click here for instructions)
Chapter I
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. – John 3:16
I used to think someday I'd make somethin' of myself.
Guess I did, if you call bein' an out of control, homicidal maniac bent on destroyin' the world "makin' somethin'" of myself'.
These days I just try to keep my head down and my nose clean. Don't wanna fuckin' pull more time than I've already got comin' to me. Got ten years for aggravated assault on the guy whose apartment I was hangin' out in after I ran from Sunnydale. They couldn't pin me with any of the other murders, don't know how that was fuckin' possible. If that was luck, then I guess I fuckin' spent all of it, now I just gotta do my time and not do anything that's gonna get me any more.
It's harder than you'd think, even with bein' a slayer. Maybe even because of it.
They tried to break me when I first got here and I let `em get their shots in, still felt majorly guilty for what I'd done, and I didn't want to catch any breaks I wasn't owed.
That worked pretty well for the first year I was here, people just realized they weren't gonna be able to beat me, and no one wanted to catch anything I'd be dishin' out in the pain department, so they just decided I was fuckin' crazy and they left me alone.
That was until this mornin' when they heard we had a shipment of fresh meat comin' in. Now usually that's no big thing, happens every week in the joint. But apparently today's was somethin' special.
After shower time, a couple of the girls who're newer started tryin' to catch my eye. That was nothin' new either. Most of the women who see me in here try to connect with me. Not just because I'm hot, but because I don't say anything. I guess they feel like they're accomplishin' something if they get me to share.
The only people I share with are my counselor and my guardian angel.
Yeah, you guessed it, Angel. He's got my back and I'm grateful and all, but I don't gush and shit over it and he doesn't make me. It's part of the "get in, do my time, get out" philosophy I'm tryin'.
So far it's workin'.
Come to think of it, Angel was probably the main reason most of my record from Sunnydale got wiped, but he's never told me and I ain't askin'. Can't pin nothin' about conspiracy on me if I don't know what happened.
So anyway, this mornin' a couple of the newbs were lookin' at me and tryin' to catch my eye. I kept my eyes forward as we left the shower room. One of them reached out and touched my shoulder and I heard a gasp from some of the other inmates. A couple of `em looked like they hoped I was gonna rip her arm off, because they love the fuckin' fights, but I just moved away and kept walkin'.
Turns out they wanted to tell me how they heard one of the women bein' transported in was a real fuckin' bad ass. Killed a couple of people and was about to slaughter a whole buildin' full until one of her friends turned her in to the cops. Guess they wanna know if I know her. Sounds like somebody I'd run with. `Cause even though my record says I only assaulted one guy, my reputation in here is that I killed my whole family and a priest. Don't know how they got that story, point is I don't listen to the shit I hear in here, especially not from newbs, `cause everybody feeds them the nastiest shit just to freak `em out.
The guards start barkin' out orders as we leave.
"Mess hall, one hour!"
"Use this time to clean, ladies! You have inspections before breakfast!"
"You know the rules: If you don't pass `em you don't get to eat!"
I hear a bunch of the women say that's not fair, or legal. It would be fuckin' criminal for me, `cause I need to eat. It's not even a question that I keep my place spotless.
I use the time between shower and breakfast to meditate and find my center. And some other breathin' shit Angel sent me a book on. Funny how he's so focused on good breathin' techniques when he can't use `em himself. He said somethin' about just going through the motion and rememberin' how he used to breathe helps him with the relaxation part.
Somethin's not right. I keep tryin' to find my center, but it's nowhere to be fuckin' found, I just can't relax enough.
My skin's crawlin' with anticipation and it's makin' me jumpy, so I end up pacin' around for the next forty-five minutes until we're called to standby for inspection. I assume the position five minutes before they even get to me.
"Out here, Lehane." I'm told to stand outside of my cell while they toss the fucker like I'd been smugglin' somethin'. I'm cool, I know they ain't gonna find nothin', got no roommates to set me up, and these guards respect me. They're just bein' told to do it, I guess.
While I'm standin' outside of my cell I can see the other girls who were caught with somethin' they shouldn't've had, tryin' to plead their case. One of the newbs is cryin' `cause she didn't know she couldn't have a comb with a point on the end of it. That's a shiv sharpener's dream. They make the fuckin' things out of anything. With that all they'd hafta do is file down the edges until they were razor sharp and it'd slice through a stomach like butter.
That thought has my scar itchin' and my thoughts runnin' to her. Most days they don't run there unless I want `em to. But I'm feelin' fuckin' jumpy so I guess my thoughts aren't gonna be listenin' like they normally do.
Gotta be real careful, just keep it cool.
"You're clean, just straighten up in there and you can go eat."
I casually look back into my cell. It's a fuckin' mess. But I'll have it back to normal in about five minutes.
"Thanks."
The guard nods at me and leaves me to it. My cell door shuts and in no time I have everything as it was. Don't have much, just a couple of books. If only Mrs. Post could see me now.
Sparta ain't got nothin' on me.
"Do you think she'll room with one of us?" One of the girls at the table I'm passin' by in the mess hall asks another girl.
I guess they're talkin' about the star of the hour: Miss Killing Spree.
I wonder why she's not bein' kept by herself like I am if she's so fuckin' dangerous, but then again, she might not be that bad.
Like I said, people always talk shit up in here until it's so ridiculously blown out of whack, it's not even funny.
"The prison's already overcrowded, I doubt they'd put three to a cell. Besides," Even though I ain't lookin' at the girl who's speakin' I can almost feel the head nod she makes towards me. "Some of us have a cell to ourselves, so maybe they're gonna put her there."
Fuck. I hadn't really been thinkin' of that as a possibility. I should have though. The warden's been real impressed lately by my self-restraint and the fact that I haven't put anyone in the infirmary in a while. I guess my counselor's been givin' glowin' fuckin' reports about me.
Question now is: Do I beat the shit outta someone and pull solitary for at least a week so they keep me by myself? I'm not rulin' it out, but it could pull me more than solitary, it could tack on a couple of years to my sentence.
And then I haven't changed in no one's eyes. Least of all hers.
Don't know why it means so much, but I guess I still want her to see me as tryin' to do better. I know she doesn't even fuckin' think about me other than bein' some scum she helped get off the streets and put behind bars but I still try to keep gettin' better, `cause maybe she'll hear somethin' from Angel, and maybe she'll care.
Goddamn. I shouldn't fuckin' be thinkin' of shit like that.
I get up to the food line and wait my turn. I'm so fuckin' hungry if they put sheep's balls on my tray I'd eat it and ask for seconds. I'm exercisin' restraint, so I don't even say shit to the bitch two spots ahead of me that's takin' all fuckin' day choosin' between scrambled or poached eggs. Every mornin's the same and everything in here's either boiled or fried, so I don't even know why she's got her panties in a bunch. But like I said, I don't say shit I just keep my head down. Until I get up to the counter.
"Hey honey, how're you doin'?" One of the workers behind the counter says. Her name's Onetta and she's one of the only decent people in this fuckin' place. Her husband's Eddie, one of the guards, he's cool too.
"I'm doin' good." I rasp out with a smile. My voice is a little on the harsh side from lack of use.
"You're lookin' really good. Only a few more of these years and you'll be back out ready to make your difference."
I smile at her and she winks at me. She's a wonderful lady, she puts extra helpin's on my tray and sometimes even sneaks me extras in my cell. She thinks I got some kinda worm or somethin' `cause she's blown away at how much I can eat without gainin' an ounce.
If it weren't for her and Eddie, I probably would have given up when I first got here.
After I get my tray I pass by all the women who either wanna be me, fuck me, or fear me. Some wanna do all three.
"Stop your struttin' and sit down, Lehane. Unless you don't wanna eat." The bitch smirks at me.
Candy. She's someone who wants to kill me. She's one of the guards. If I weren't a Slayer, I think she would have killed me.
Her name shouldn't be Candy, it should be `Put on this earth to bust my balls.' She looks like that woman from Third Rock from the Sun. The one who's was formerly a dude on their home planet. Except that woman was waaaaaay prettier than Candy. Candy looks like someone ate her face off, then spit it back out and the doctor sewed it on again with mismatched thread.
And it seems like she's always on the rag. Now, I ain't usually one to bust someone because of the way they look. Can't all have been born gorgeous, but if that person is as ugly on the inside as they are on the out, then you better believe I'm pointin' out every fuckin' flaw they have.
Don't even know why her parents would give her that name. Must be short for somethin'. No way someone would just give her that nickname, `cause there's nothin' sweet about her.
She watches as I sit down at a table that's mostly empty and start eatin'.
"I've got my eye on you."
I don't say shit. I just keep eatin', `cause I don't know when the fuck she'll nut out on me and send my tray crashin' to the floor. She does that sometimes for shits and giggles.
Someone else catches her attention and she moves on. I must breathe a sigh of relief, `cause the girl a couple of seats down from me says, "That's exactly how I feel when she leaves or stops looking at me. So relieved it's not even funny."
I shrug at her and I keep eatin'.
"My name's Stella."
"Hey," I say with my mouth still full of eggs. "I'm not very social."
"I know, I've seen you around. Some of the women say you're retarded."
"That's a new one." I laugh.
We sit in silence for a while and then she says, "Your face looks so much better when you're happy."
That wipes the smile off my face real quick and I go back to eatin'.
"Sorry." She says quietly and then goes back to mindin' her own business.
"You got five minutes left, ladies. Hurry up and finish. We've got fresh meat comin' in!"
There's an excited buzz that ripples through the mess hall. They love fresh meat. I still wonder what they're gonna do about the livin' arrangements.
When I get back to my cell after breakfast I get my answer. They're puttin' in another bunk above mine.
The warden's standin' outside watchin' the workers do their thing.
"Hello, Faith." She says with a warm smile. Kinda reminds me of my first watcher. She's not my first warden either, she replaced the douchebag who got caught tryin' to pimp out some of the inmates, so they decided to put in a woman warden.
"Good morning, Warden."
"We'll need to have someone room with you. Are you ok with that?"
"Yeah, I think it's time." I lie through my teeth.
"So do I, I was telling Brian that just yesterday."
Brian's my counselor.
"Everything's all set here, Warden." One of the maintenance guys says.
"Very well, John. Thank you."
"Yer welcome. Bill's just gotta sweep up the stuff from drilling the new holes and then she can go in."
I wait outside under the stare of the warden while I wait to be able to go back to my bunk.
"You're a good girl, Faith. You've come a long way."
"Thanks, Warden."
"Call me Phyllis."
"I don't wanna disrespect, Ma'am."
"Faith, I'm not old enough to be called `Ma'am'. I'm only 42. You'd disrespect me by not honoring my wishes and calling me Phyllis."
Too bad her parents disrespected her by namin' her Phyllis.
She gives me a genuine smile and if she was small and blonde I'd be totally diggin' her right now. Not that she's not hot or nothin', but she's not really my type.
Shit, now I'll be fuckin' thinkin' about that blonde bitch for the rest of the day and night.
"She's all yours." John, the maintenance dude says to me. He and his buddy leave the cell and the Warden goes in with Eddie and inspects.
Heh. `She's all yours.' I think, `No she isn't, never was.' I gotta stop thinkin', period.
"Looks good. I think you'll do well with a roommate, Faith. Are you excited?"
"Thrilled!" I smile my fakest smile and Eddie looks at me a little disappointed. Fuck it, I can be a baby if I want. Good thing the warden doesn't pick up on it.
"I'm glad!"
She's sweet, she's tryin' to turn this hell hole around and I really respect her for that, don't mean I gotta like havin' to bunk with some dumbass who'll try and shrink me, or kill me, or fuck me. Personally, I'd rather they do the last two than the first, and if I'm guessin' right, the new badass chick is probably gonna be my new roomie.
After they leave I hang onto the top bunk and I do pull ups. We usually get to go out to the yard for a bit before doin' our chores, but today they're keepin' us inside. Can't have all the guards on new meat duty and watchin' us in the yard at the same time.
When they bring `em in it's in a line, they've all been changed into prison shit so all of `em look alike. Usually I don't look much, just count how many they've brought in and figure the odds on whether there'll be one that tries to take me. Mostly the odds are too slim, but today they brought in a huge crowd of `em. There'll be a few people doublin' and triplin' up.
The only thing that distinguishes one bag of fresh meat from another is their hair style and color. Some have all different colors, some have pretty hair, some have blonde, short, wavy, kinky, blonde, straight, jet black, blonde.
I get to the twentieth person in the line of grunts, and my heart goes cold. It can't be.
Buffy.
Did I fall asleep?
Is this some fuckin' Slayer dream? I pinch myself to see if it's real, and yeah, that hurt like a bitch so this is really real.
What in the motherfuck is the deal?
She's lookin' at the cells with purpose so I step back into the shadows so she can't spot me. Goddamn, I really wish I knew what the fuck was goin' on.
After the guards get done givin' `em the low down, they take 'em into the mess hall for what's left of breakfast. I'm kinda feelin' like I might lose mine right now, I still feel all fuckin' out of whack. How the hell did Buffy get arrested and sent here? This ain't exactly a minimum security place. Maybe she killed someone like I did with Finch. But wouldn't Willow and the others have protected her?
What the fuck is up with the world? Scoobies lettin' their leader go down. The Golden Girl lettin' her guard down and stakin' a human? This is turnin' out to be one fucked up day.
"Lehane, Clancy, Jacobs, Simonelli, Carter. Visitors area, now!"
I hear a buzz and my cell door opens.
No one's come to see me in six months. Coincidence? I think not.
Probably Angel with the scoop on Buffy.
Chapter II
As I get up to the booth in the visitor's area I can see red hair. Fuck.
I sit down and pick up the receiver, all the while starin' at a spooked lookin' Red starin' back at me. She says somethin' that I can't hear and I give her a `duh' look and point at the receiver on her end. She picks it up.
"Sorry, I didn't realize."
"S'ok, Red. Now before you go babblin' up a storm I've got questions."
"O-okay."
"Number one, why the fuck is Buffy here?"
"That's what I came to see you about…"
I look around a second to the people around me before askin' my next question.
"She stake a civilian while on patrol?"
"Not exactly."
"What then? And make it quick, fifteen minutes goes by faster than you think."
"Ok, it's a really long story…"
"Give me the short version."
"Buffy's dead."
My heart sinks into my stomach, and for some reason, I get this overwhelmin' urge to cry and for Red to hold me and whisper things are gonna be ok. But fuck that shit, I'm no pansy.
"Ok, wait, back up, gimme the long version. You sayin' the new chick that was brought in here today, that's not Buffy? `Cause it sure as shit looks like her."
"W-well, it's her but…" She hesitates and I must give her the look that I was hopin' for `cause she continues. "You see, she and Spike have been sorta seeing each other."
I let out a snort. Why am I not surprised? She always goes for the cold and dead over the warm and luscious.
I nod my head for her to continue.
"And they were having one of their more heated rounds of well…you know…"
"Red, tick tock, tick tock."
"Hedrainedherandshe'savampirenow." She says in a rush.
Come again?
My heart does that slow motion beatin' thing and my head feels like it's all blocked up with cotton.
"Faith?" I hear Red say my name, but it sounds like I'm underwater. "Faith? Did you hear me?"
Buffy's a vampire. She's dead, but not and how in the fuck is she in jail?
"Why's she here?"
"I thought it would be safest…"
"For who? She's a fuckin'…" I look around again at the people next to me and lower my voice. "Ya know." Willow nods. "How's that safe?"
"I was hoping you could watch her."
"Willow, this isn't exactly a day care. How the hell am I supposed to watch her?"
"Look Faith, she was going on a killing spree, I had to do something."
"Why not a spell?"
"They take research! I needed to buy some time. She almost killed Dawn!"
Oh fuck.
"How the fuck did this happen? I thought Spike had a chip in his head?"
"It's because she died, when we brought her back…she came back wrong and he was able to hurt her."
"What? You're sayin' she died and he brought her back by makin' her a vamp?"
"No, she died before this whole situation."
"Before the whole fang thing?"
"Yes, she died saving Dawn and the world."
"When?"
"Six months ago."
"Two minutes!" One of the guards shouts.
"Economy of words here, alright Willow?"
She nods dutifully.
"Are you tryin' to get her a soul?"
"Yes, we're researching night and day."
Explains why she looks fifty right now.
"How is she not burnt to a crisp?"
"I found a spell that protects her from the sun, but I don't know how long it'll last. I'll try to come up here and cast it every so often."
"You could get caught."
"I need to try…I let her down…"
"You know our history, Red. Why'd you think I'd help her?"
"I'm not sure you're ready for me to answer that, but my stock answer would be because you're a Slayer, you're strong enough to deal with her and it's your job."
"My job is stakin' vampires; can't you people read the job description?"
"Please, Faith!"
"I don't know what you expect from me…"
"Just protect everyone from her and her from them…and from herself until I can do the spell to get her soul back. Can you do that?"
"You're kiddin' right?"
"Faith, please! Ok? I'm begging!"
I see the guards gettin' ready to shut this shit down.
"I'm not promisin' shit, but if it comes down to her or me, she's gettin' dusted."
Willow nods her head and goes to speak but the line goes dead. She looks panicked. I can see her mouth the word `please' and she puts her hand on the glass.
That reminds me of a movie I saw. I don't do anything pathetic like put my hand up against hers or nothin'. I just hang the phone up and leave her there lookin' like a dork.
"Is that your girl?" Candy sneers at me as I'm walkin' out. "Always knew you were a dyke."
I might be a dyke, but that ain't my girl. My girl is probably tryin' to drain one of the inmates right now, you stupid cunt.
I get back to my cell and I'm not surprised that there's someone there, I'm just surprised at who it's not.
"Hey, they had me switch cells." Stella from breakfast says as I walk in.
I nod and crawl onto my bunk to think. This means that Buffy's the badass chick everyone was talkin' about and it also means that she's bunkin' with someone else. Someone else who's gonna be dead as soon as the lights go out, maybe even sooner.
I still can't believe Spike turned her, I wonder what the fuck really happened. Angel told me the dude was in love with her, somehow I think there's more to the story than meets the eye.
"Ok, ladies. Rest time is over, you can go to your jobs, everyone workin' laundry duty this week'll go first. Get ready to line up!"
The buzzer goes off and the door to my cell opens again.
"You on laundry duty, Stella?"
"No, mess detail."
"Well, have fun."
"Thanks. See ya later."
It was evident in her voice that she was surprised I even spoke to her. Too bad, if Buffy pulls some shit and tries to fuck with her cellmate, I gotta fuck up Stella to get solitary. `Cause I have a feelin' B's gonna be there before the night is out.
I line up outside and it gives me a chance to see into some of the cells. Shit, she saw me and now she's at the bars lookin' out at me.
"Hey there, Faith. Fancy meeting you here." She laughs and it chills me to my fuckin' core.
"Hey, B. You get jealous of my lifestyle? Figured you try it on for size?"
"Why not? You tried to take my life from me, I just wanted to come and repay the favor."
Some of the women in line with me are whisperin' to each other. I hear another one say that some people owe her cigarettes `cause they all had pool goin' on whether or not I knew the crazy bitch who was comin' in here today.
"From what I hear, you got no life to take away now." I look into her eyes, the look I see there would make anyone else mess themselves. But I'm not just anyone, and I don't show the fear she wants to see. "How is Spikey Boy by the way?"
"Dead. I dusted that freak, he was wearing me down. Always crying, pretty much like everyone I've met since the liberation of my soul. Oh, and tell Willow when I get the chance, I'm going to fucking rip…"
"Move it, ladies! You can catch up with each other some other time or never, I don't give a shit. Just get to the fuckin' laundry room before I lose my patience!"
Fuckin' Candy, never has any patience for shit, so I don't know what she's talkin' about.
"Later, Faithy." Buffy lets out another laugh that makes me feel like ice water's runnin' through my veins.
"Hey, watch what you're doin'! You're puttin' like a whole bucket of detergent in that one machine!"
Guess I've been a little distracted. Tryin' to piece together the events goin' on in Buffy's life that I know shit about. And I'm wonderin' why Angel didn't try to let me know what was goin' on. I feel like his silence is somehow tied to the whole Buffy bein' the way she is deal.
"You better watch yourself, girl, you're gonna get us all in trouble and then we'll hafta do this shit all over again."
"Sorry. Got somethin' on my mind."
"Like we don't." Sasha says to me. She puts her hands on her hips and looks like she's lookin' for a reply. "You think we're just in here `cause we don't got nothin' better to do? Waitin' to see who the next guest on Oprah's gonna be while we get our nails done? You better get your head outta your ass, girlfriend. I hear there's someone here lookin' to take you out."
She takes an offensive stance and I feel a couple of the other women block the area behind me. Well, if this is how they wanna do it, then this is how it's gotta be done. I take a defensive stance and use my senses to tell how far away the women behind me are, and if they have weapons in their hand or not.
"So what? You wanna try to get a piece of me before Blondie does?"
"No you dumb, bitch! You think I wanna end up in traction? We've seen what you can do. We just wanna know if you're gonna kill her."
"I just wanna do my time and get out. Not tryin' to kill anyone."
"Look, you might wanna stop bein' all up in yourself so much, I mean you been here what? Two years? And you don't talk to no one. You might need friends, especially with a psycho like her in here. Ya know?"
"What do you get out of it?"
"A chance to fight if it comes down to it. We're always itchin', and for a chance to maybe get the fuck outta here."
"How you plan on doin' that? You could just end up dead."
"I'm pullin' two life sentences, without the possibility of parole. Gettin' out in a body bag is still gettin' out, ain't it?"
Damn, even I haven't been that "black cloud" lately. Guess I should loosen up more, stop actin' like I'm above everyone. But I'll keep my guard up, ya never know who's tryin' to pull shit on you in this place. Which is why I don't get involved with anyone. But havin' some people on my side might not hurt, `specially since Buffy'll probably be gatherin' an army. She always was good at rallyin' the troops and shit.
I extend my hand and Sasha takes it, givin' me a big smile. "I'm glad I didn't have to kick your ass." She laughs at her joke and it makes me laugh too.
Ya never know what the fuck you're gonna wake up to in the joint.
After laundry duty we're all called to lunch. Sasha and her crew invite me to eat with them.
"So, what's your story with Blondie, there?" She nods towards Buffy who's already sittin' at a table with some of the butchier dykes in here. Guess she's found her crew.
I shrug and pick up my tray. "Was a million years ago."
"You two were `together' together, or just runnin' in the same crew?"
"Just runnin' in the same crew, but I was like a grunt, just the muscle, never on her level."
"She was the leader?" She looks at Buffy more closely.
"Yeah."
"Damn, she must be one tough bitch, `cause she sure as shit don't look intimidatin'. What she do? Fuck her way up the ladder?"
"No, she was born into it."
"Drugs?"
"Somethin' like that."
"Well she looks like the daughter of one of those Hollywood type people. Or like some cute little thing that would be on one of those soap operas."
"She's dangerous, don't ever think she won't kill you as soon as look at you." I lift up my shirt slightly revealin' my scar.
"She do that?"
I nod.
"Dayum! She's just a little bit of a thing!"
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
"I'll take your word for it." She looks me up and down. "Mostly `cause I saw you pick up two women the size of refrigerators, and I wouldn't have figured that. You got a crazy look in your eye most times, that's for sure, but I didn't think you'd be the muscle type."
"What, I look like some other type?"
"Yeah, `Girls Gone Wild Gone Bad'."
That makes me laugh and I can see Buffy lookin' up from her spot surrounded by her new friends to gawk at me.
I don't catch her eye, but I can see her face perfectly out of the corner of mine, and she knows it. I see her pucker her lips and blow me a kiss.
"Hey, honey. What'll it be this afternoon?"
"Hey, Onetta. Some of that chicken and the potatoes."
"And these green beans?"
"Yeah, and the carrots, too."
"Good, don't forget to take your bread over there." She points to the table next to the end of the line. "Have a good day, baby."
"You too." I wink at her and she smiles.
Her callin' me baby was code word for I should be expectin' somethin' more in my cell later. Probably just some more bread, but it helps to take away the hunger.
Sasha's crew takes the table directly behind Buffy's, and the last seat I can get is the one that has me sittin' back to back with Her Highness.
My vamp alarm has my fuckin' hands shakin' it's goin' off so bad. But I think I'm also fuckin' nervous just bein' around her, wonderin' what she's gonna try to pull. I still can't believe all this shit's gone down. I wouldn't be surprised if Ashton Kutcher came out and told me that I was fuckin' punked.
I feel her lean back and she turns her head to whisper to me.
"Hey, baby. Long time no see. No kiss for me?"
"Look, B. I'm just tryin' to eat here. You wanna `talk' later, we'll `talk'. Right now I'd like to eat in peace."
"You don't have to be like that. I was just seein' if you still wanted me, like you've always wanted me."
I close my eyes, `cause she sounds just like how I remember, and I have always wanted her. Not even just sexually, but she'd probably never believe that.
When I don't respond, she reaches back and puts her hand on my arm.
I put my hand on hers, lettin' it rest there, and lettin' the electricity run through me for a moment, but then I come to my senses and pick it up off my arm and push it away.
"Thanks, baby, but not today, yeah?"
"If that's how you want it…" She kinda sings out and then straightens up.
"You don't need her, sweetie." Deb says to Buffy. She's one of the women in here always lookin' for a new girl, the more femme they are the better. She tried shit with me, but after I broke her nose, she didn't ever try anything again. "She's retarded, you don't want any of that."
"Me and Faithy go back a long way."
What's with vamps callin' me Faithy? Is it some rule or somethin'?
"Don't we baby?" She says so seductively, it's makin' my pussy ache for her. Shit, I better keep it in check. I don't need any of her bullshit.
"Yeah, real long. Can I finish my food?" I should just pull her up and off to the side and let her know who's gonna end up on top here, but I need to get this eaten. I have a feelin' I'm gonna need all of my strength, and skippin' meals isn't the way to go.
"She's so grumpy when she hasn't gotten any. She hasn't gotten any in a while, huh?"
Some of the women tell her I haven't, `cause none of them have done me and no one else has been braggin'.
"God, Faith. You've been saving yourself for me all this time? How sweet. Stupid, yes, but very, very sweet. Maybe later we can get together for old time's sake? I'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Sure, babe, whatever floats your boat." I say and go back to eatin'.
She makes a happy sound with her throat, kinda like a throaty squeal. "Faith can go all night ladies, and when I say all night, I mean all night!" She laughs.
She's playin' up our past relationship to try and get to me. `Cause the only thing she and I ever did all night was fight, if not each other then against the vamps and demons.
"Well, no one's ever called me lazy, baby." Deb says, and the way she says it and the sound of her arm goin' around Buffy's shoulder makes me wanna break it for her.
I just keep shovelin' shit into my face. All the while Sasha's been watchin' me and the exchange with Buffy.
After I'm done I get up and take my stuff over to the big plastic bucket we put it in. Sasha comes up behind me.
"Don't look like you were nothin' to her, from what she said, looks like you were her girl."
I laugh, "I was never her girl, even when I was in her body."
She looks at me almost like Giles would. "You keep kiddin' yourself. Looks to me like you two are gonna be gettin' busy soon."
"She's dead to me." I say with such a certainty that she lets it go. And it's true, she's dead, so I don't want any part of what she's tryin' to give me. I've never mixed business with pleasure, and I never fuckin' will. Besides, she's just doin' it so she can get me all weak and vulnerable, then she'll drain me. I know how vamps work.
She thinks I'm stupid, but wait until she's a pile of fuckin' dust, we'll see who the stupid one is.
