Chapter Fourteen: Unsafe Safe

timeline: sometime in season 4, but Faith never went all faster faster pussycat, kill kill. and Riley's not here because he's a douche bag. and annoying. estab. buffy/faith relationship.disclaimer: it all belongs to Joss and Fox, mutant enemy, etc. pout. title belongs to the Hush Sound.

Unsafe Safe

Buffy once asked her if she believed in God.

Faith didn’t have an answer then, and as much as she would like to have, well, faith in a good and ever loving God, there were too many times in her life when she prayed and prayed and prayed and life still fucked her over.

Faith shifts in her seat and absentmindedly touches a small scar just under her chin. She was a good little Catholic girl when she was younger, but no matter how hard she prayed, it didn’t stop her mother from busting open her chin with a beer bottle. Faith stopped praying that day.

Faith believes in hell.

Faith also believes in cold hard fact. She never did well in school, but on the days she did show up, she always enjoyed her science classes. Not that she did well in them, but she liked that everything there was black and white. An explanation to her every how or why, and even if she didn’t necessarily understand the explanation, it still gave her comfort.

Faith lifts the beer to her lips, taking a slow drink from it as she lets her gaze fall on the two witches on the couch across from hers. Tara leans in and whispers something in Red’s ear, making the girl giggle and blush a little. Faith takes another sip and watches as Red smiles softly, taking the blonde’s hand and leaning in to press a chaste kiss on her smiling lips.

It all looks so happy and perfect and right, but all Faith can see is a ticking time bomb.

She remembers one of her biology teachers telling her that everything eventually breaks down. Disintegrates. Falls apart.

Everything good will die, because in the large scheme of things, nothing lasts forever. Nothing.

And love? Love is just a bunch of chemicals in your brain meant to fuck fuck fuck with you, a rollercoaster pain and pleasure and painful pleasure.

Some might call her cynical. Faith, as she sits sipping her drink in the shadows and thudding bass, likes to think of herself as a scientist. Sure, they look so stable now, so happy, so in love. But it’s only a matter of time until the cracks appear, until they collapse. It’s inevitable; it’s a pattern she can’t ignore.

“Hey baby.”

Faith blinks and moves her gaze to blonde standing in front of her, giving her that adorable, quirky half smile that never fails make Faith’s chest ache pleasantly. She pulls her lips into a cocky smile, unable to bring herself to upset the older girl with her numerous and persistent insecurities.

“Hiya, B.”

Buffy pulls the beer from Faith’s hand sinks into the seat next to her, pulling the dark slayer’s arm around her shoulders. Buffy rests her head on Faith’s chest, wrapping her own arms around the brunette’s waist, her thumb slipping under Faith’s black tank to draw patterns on her hipbone.

Faith swallows, feeling so sad and so happy all at once. She leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of the blonde’s head.

“They make one cute couple, huh? I mean, not as cute as us, obviously, but still, I think Tara’s good for her.”

Faith chuckles softly, giving her girlfriend’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“I dunno about cute, but we definitely win the hot-as-fuck contest.” She drawls, trying to squash her ever-present worries, the voice that hisses you’re never good enough in the back of her head.

Buffy smiles and whacks Faith’s arm lightly, before turning her head to playfully nip at the brunette’s neck.

Faith believes in science.

She catches Buffy’s chin and tilts her head upward, unable to keep the sadness from her smile. Before Buffy can question the melancholy in her eyes, Faith’s lips are on hers, soft and needy.

It’s times like these, when the older slayer’s hands are tangling in Faith’s silky locks, her teeth nibbling gently on her lower lip, that Faith can almost believe in God, in good things, in heaven.

In forever.

As moves her lips to the hollow of Buffy’s neck, she hopes that science is wrong this time.