FAITH'S P.O.V
"Where'd you go running off to last night?" I ask. Mainly because it's been bugging me all day. I watch her pour more sugar into whatever cute little foamy crap she decided on this time.
"What?"
"You. Legs. Big with the running."
Probably to that jerk off, Angel. Ah, the wonders of the modern stake. What problems can't it fix?
"Thought I heard my mom calling me." She shrugs.
"Oh, your mom!" I roll my eyes. "From all the way across town, right. And here I thought I had pretty good hearing. Turns out my ears are broken 'cause they don't work as good as yours."
"My old friend, sarcasm. Missed you, love you, can't get enough of you." She smiles sweetly.
"No, for real, where'd you go?"
"Home."
Fine. If she doesn't want to say...
"Whatever." I lean back in my chair and look up at the ceiling. Someone should do something about that huge black spot. What the hell is that, anyway?
"Faith." She rests her hand on top of mine. It's warm from the coffee she was holding a second ago. "I went home."
I look down at our hands. After a moment she does too. Then...
Well, then she pretty much jerks her hand back so fast that she goes flying backwards. Right along with the chair she was sitting in.
The man at the table next to us starts clapping real loudly.
I jump out of my seat and kneel down next to her. Too bad she's wearing pants 'cause she's in a pretty cool position right now. "God, Buffy. Are you okay?"
"Well, that was embarrassing." She covers her face with her arm. "How many times have I ended up on my ass in front of you today?"
"Twice, but the night's still young." I grin.
"Help now, make fun later." She holds out her arm.
I pull her to her feet. "Damn, B. That was wicked. You gotta show me how you got so much distance."
She gives me a fake smile. The kind that says, "One more joke and no sex for you tonight." You know, THAT kind of smile. I wasn't getting sex either way, so I open my mouth to make fun of her again, but she's not even looking at me anymore.
"You can stop clapping now," she says to the guy that hasn't stopped laughing yet. His only response is to laugh harder. Well, at least he stopped clapping. Buffy doesn't see the bright side to all of this, though, because she takes a step forward, looking severely pissed.
I quickly grab her arm. "Woah, what're you doing?"
"Let me go, Faith," she says calmly.
"No, you let me choose, and you could've beaten up all the morons that you wanted. You choose and we're in a coffee type place." She jerks her arm away from me.
"Listen to your girlfriend, sweet cheeks." The guy chuckles.
Ooh, I like this guy.
"Oh, that is it!" B starts pushing up the sleeves of her jacket. Somebody has seen one too many bar fight movies and it isn't me. "You're on my black list, pal!" She shoves her finger in his face, slamming her other hand onto the table.
Oh, brother.
"What is wrong with you today?" I grab her arm tightly and pull it behind her back, dragging her toward the exit. She kicks me in the knee, but I ignore it. Feisty, I'll give her that. "You really wanna start a fight with that loser?"
"I'll kick his ass, and then I'm starting on yours."
Did she just threaten me?
I pull some money out of my pocket, which is not as easy as it sounds with her struggling like that, and throw it onto the table. The guy behind the counter raises an eyebrow at me. Grinning, I make a drinking motion with my free hand. He shakes his head sadly.
"Hey, I saw that! I'm not drunk. Let me go, Faith!" She kicks me in the leg again. This time, it really fucking hurts.
I fight back the urge to throw her on the ground and kick the shit out of her. Then jump on her for good measure. And then kick her again. Then maybe have mind-blowing sex with her.
The second we're outside, she jerks her elbow directly into my ribs, and I let go. She's really pissed, and I'm not that far behind.
"Fuck!" I look down at my chest. Probably bleeding internally. "You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about!"
"I wasn't going to hurt him," she mutters, walking away.
"Buffy, come on." I start to follow. "Why'd you get so mad? Guy was a jerk. Man, if I had a dollar for every time I fell off a chair and someone laughed at me... I'd have no dollars." She gives me a look and I sigh. "I'm probably not helping. Come on, I'll walk you home."
I hope she appreciates my forgiving nature 'cause it'll never happen again.
"No." She shakes her head, folding her arms across her chest. "I'll walk YOU home."
I roll my eyes. Check me out, acting all responsible. Meanwhile Buffy's acting like... well, kinda like me, actually. If I was... you know, two years old.
"Fine. You walk me home."
She doesn't talk all the way back to the motel. I'm kind of happy about that 'cause my leg still hurts, and I still have the overwhelming urge to punch her in the face.
"You wanna come in or something?" I ask once we get to the door. I'm hoping that it's a 'no'. Ice pack and bed is sounding good right about now.
She looks like she wants to stay mad at me, but it's obvious when she decides that she's over it. "Nah. I have to be up early to meet Wesley at six."
"Tell me you're joking." I just don't have the energy to go through this again. It's hard work trying to influence people all the time.
"I'm joking." She grins. "He is not going to be a very happy little man."
"Good thing we don't care, right?"
"Right." She nods. "So... I guess I'll see you later. Sorry about the kicking you thing."
"That's okay. I'll beat you down later."
"Bye." She looks at me for a moment and then turns around and walks away. I watch her until she's gone before turning back to place the key into the lock.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
So much for all of your 'planning'. You fucking loser.
My ribs hurt.
BUFFY'S P.O.V
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Plus, my arm hurts! That girl has one tight grip, I'll give her that.
Stupid man. Laugh at me, will you? I should go back there and kick his ass... hard. Like I don't have enough Faith problems as it is. She has to be there to witness me falling over... again.
And it's only been a day since I found... since Willow made up those lies...
Since Willow made up those lies that seem to be completely true.
What should I do?
I should just ask her... No, that's stupid:
"Hey, Faith. Do you like me?"
"Why, yes, Buffy. Yes I do. Let us go now and live in the jungle. There we can raise a family of monkey babies, and live in complete harmony. Wicked. Five by five. Wicked..."
No, wait. I already said that.
Anyway, I can't raise monkey babies! I have important world-saving stuff to do. I have to take care of Giles and put him in a retirement home when he gets too old, and doesn't know demony things anymore. I have to rid the planet of evil... And I still have to find a way to discreetly dispose of Dawn.
Dawn can raise the monkey babies. Not me. No way.
... Or what if Faith laughs at me.
That's worse.
No, Better! That's better. We can all sit around and laugh and laugh... and laugh. Laughter means it's not true, right? Laughter is good. Yay for laughter...
I don't want to be laughed at though.
I really should go back and ask her. Do it right now and get it over with. All I gotta do is turn around and go back there... and ask... and laugh. Right now.
Tomorrow.
I'll ask her tomorrow.
**********
"Hey, guys." I take a seat next to Willow. "Whatcha got there?"
She quickly places the notebook she was writing in underneath the table. "What? Where? Nothing."
"Okay, secret gal. Don't hyperventilate."
"She won't tell me either, Buff," Xander says. "Maybe you should beat it out of her."
"I'm just trying to make it through the day without seeing..."
"Where were you this morning?" Wesley demands.
"...Wesley. If I can do that, everything will just be peachy." I finish with a sigh.
And Faith. I could really do without seeing Faith. Tomorrow's here, and it sucks.
"No." Faith walks in through the library doors before I even have a chance to reply... or pretend to ignore. I think she's here more than I am. Or at least the same amount. She shoves her finger in his face until he takes a step backward. "I think the real question is: Where were you?"
Damn it! What's up with that?
If only I can get through the day without seeing a cute guy with lots and lots of money.
Nothing? Of course. The universe hates me. And after all I've done for you...
Ungrateful universe.
"Well... I was right here." Wesley looks over at Giles, who shrugs.
"Is that right?" She raises an eyebrow.
"Yes... What are you suggesting?"
He's all confused, the poor little guy. I almost feel sorry for him. Wish I had some popcorn.
"You tell me." She shrugs, all business.
"You... You're trying to confuse me and it won't work!"
"Hey, if you don't even know where you were, how're WE supposed to know where you were? You gotta think, Wes." She leans forward and taps on his forehead.
"I told you, I..." He looks at all of the serious faces staring back at him, and apparently decides that no help is forthcoming. "Excuse me."
He exits the library quickly, probably wondering what just happened. I look over at Faith, who winks at me.
"That was amazing." Xander says, with no small amount of awe. I glare at him.
"Thank you, thank you." Faith gives a little bow. "I have a talent, it is true."
Yeah, and it's called "How to dominate the male specimen in twelve easy steps."
"So, what did you think, B?" She jumps up to sit on the table in front of me.
"Could use a little work." I shrug. "End result was the same, so kudos."
"Awww, you always know just what to say." She grins. "By the way, I think you broke one of my ribs last night."
I know that I didn't. Probably hurt a whole hell of a lot though. What? I have my bad days.
"Yeah, 'cause you're such a delicate, little flower."
"Exactly! You gotta be gentle with me, is all I'm sayin'." She leaps off the table. "I'm gonna get a drink. Anyone want?"
"While your generosity astounds me, you can't just wander around the..." And she's gone. "Hey!"
Can't she just listen to me for once?
"I should go too. I've gotta meet Cordy." Xander stands up. "Wish me luck, guys."
"You better run then." Willow chuckles, but doesn't look up from her 'secret' notebook that she started writing in again.
"See ya." I turn back to Willow once he's gone. She's just writing away. Not concerned about other peoples curiosity. Rude. "Come on, Will. What're you doing?"
"Nothing." I raise an eyebrow. "...Something."
"Uh-huh. And...?"
She looks around the library, but Giles must have gone back to the office already. "Okay, I'll tell you." She pulls her chair closer to mine, and lowers her voice. "I'm making a list in an observational journal. Title still undecided. When it's finished, I'm gonna frame it, and smack you over the head with it."
Smack me in the head?
"What?"
"She winked at you. I wrote it down, see?" She holds the book out to me and I take it.
I need a translator around Willow lately.
What is she doing now?
I open the notebook up to the last page:
THURSDAY - 8:55am
THE SUBJECT...
"Subject?" I look at her and she nods for me to continue.
...USED WINKING IN A SUGGESTIVE MANNER. THIS DID NOT GO UNNOTICED BY THE RECIPIENT, BUT DID NOT APPEAR TO AROUSE ANY TYPE OF RESPONSE.
"Subject? Recipient?" I don't get it. "Who are you... Willow, you're not. Tell me that you're not."
"Okay." She nods. "I'm not making notes about you and Faith."
"You're studying me?!" Willow takes the notebook back. Good thing, too. It's a second away from being scrap paper.
"No!" She shakes her head quickly. "No, of course not. I'm OBSERVING you."
"Oh, observing!" I slap myself on the forehead. "Well, that's much better then. Give me that." I snatch the book back and scan down the page. "'8:58am: Reference was made to broken ribs. This may or may not have come about due to violent sexual intercourse.' Willow!"
"What?" she asks innocently.
"No intercourse! No nothing! No broken ribs. Faith grabbed me and I..." I trail off when I see the look on her face at that little revelation.
"Can I have the book back, please?" She holds out her hand.
"No! You're gonna write about grabbing and sex stuff. It was innocent grabbing! She was... there was a man."
"A man, too? Oh, Buffy." Willow shakes her head sadly.
"No! Not like that! He was all old and gross."
She gives me a pitying look. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
I'm not explaining this very well.
"Talk about what?" Faith asks from behind me.
"Faith!" I toss the notebook back to Willow without thinking. "I... She was... It... Will?"
Oh God.
Somebody help me.
"Buffy, you don't have to do what she says, you know." Willow places her hand on my arm gently.
I know that! What does she think I am? Some kind of helpless non-slayer type person?
"Willow... You've got it all wrong. There wasn't... she didn't... We..."
I seem to have lost the ability to complete sentences.
"What's goin' on?" Faith asks carefully.
"Nothing," I say desperately. "Nothing is going on. Faith, tell her what we did last night."
"Oh! You mean when you attacked me? And there I was, being all reasonable..."
"I don't need the details, thank you." Willow starts packing away her things. "Buffy, call me later, 'kay? We'll talk."
Wouldn't she WANT details for her little examination of my life? Wait, what am I saying?
It only takes a few seconds and another angry glare at Faith before she's gone. Maybe I should go after her and set her straight. I mean, she thinks I'm some kind of sex-crazed, threesome-having, whip-wielding maniac.
"What the hell?" Faith asks once Willow's gone... along with a certain notebook.
"She thinks we're..." having crazy, naked, slayer sex. "Nothing."
"She thinks that we're nothing? Damn." Faith turns back to look at the library doors. "I always knew that she felt that way about me, but you..."
"Am I speaking in another language?! Why can no one understand what I'm saying?" I wave my hand in front of her face. "Is it so hard? I can go somewhere that there's other people like me. Deeply misunderstood people! People that also don't have sex with old men or girls! Just. Like. Me."
"Well, that's too bad." She grins. "You'd be missing out."
"I'm sure I would." I shake my head with a reluctant smile. "You're headed straight for another broken rib. You do realize this, right?"
"If I can get you to see the advantages of sleeping with... old men, then I'm sure it would be worth it."
That was entirely not subtle. You should ask now, Buffy. Then you can laugh and joke, and laugh some more... Or maybe you'll be stuck with monkey babies for the rest of your life...
OR I could always kill two birds with the one stone...
If Willow wants something to put in her 'observational journal,' I'll give her something to put in there.
And it won't have anything to do with old men.
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