Chapter Twenty-Two - Bow Chicka Bow Bow

POV Buffy

When I woke up, Giles was in my room, he was reading a book next to my bed.  The memories had finally stopped but I was still feeling very uncertain of myself and everything.  Giles gave me a hug, and while he was hugging me, he leaned down and kissed the top of my head.  It was so sweet and kind, and so much more than my real father has ever done for me.

We talked for a long while, about everything.  He only slipped back into his Watcher role when we spoke about the dreams I’ve shared with Faith.  He seemed quite fascinated to find out Faith and I have shared dreams since we were kids, long before we were ever slayers.  He kept using words like curious, extraordinary, odd and astonishing, and how he couldn’t wait to begin researching it.  Funny the things people choose to get excited about, huh?  To each their own I suppose.

He encouraged me to go see her as soon as I felt up to it, he said I shouldn't waste any more time.  He told me life was precious and short and you never knew how much time you had left with the people you love.  I immediately knew he meant Ms. Calendar, a wave of guilt washed over me because I've always felt responsible for it.  And even though I didn’t know, I couldn’t possibly have known, I was still the one who let the monster out of his cage.  In some ways I think I feel even worse than Angel does about it if that’s at all possible.

For once we didn’t back away from the subject.  After all these years this is the first time we’ve ever really spoken about the things that happened back then.  I tried to apologize to him but he said he didn't want an apology from me.  There was no need for me to apologize, he never held me responsible for it, he told he had finally stopped holding Angel responsible for it.  And after a long while, he could even see, Jenny herself played a big part in her death, had she told us what she was planning, maybe things would have been different.  But now, after reading the files Wesley had sent over, all the files about me and what the Council did and tried to do, he now knows who was to blame.  The Watcher’s Council.

And it’s true, the fucking Council trampled over all of our lives and ruined them.  If the Council hadn’t messed with me, I never would have slept with Angel, he never would have become Angelus and Ms. Calendar would still be alive.  As soon as I had come to that conclusion, Giles said that I can't spend the rest of my life regretting the past, being afraid to live my future, and if Faith was someone I wanted and needed, I had better go and get her.

So here I am, sitting on the couch in Faith’s suite, watching TV, I'm leaning up against her and she has her arm around my stomach, my hand is on top, and my fingers are intertwined with hers.  I hear Rose coming back into the living room and I make an attempt to move away from Faith.  But she keeps her arm firmly around me so I can't move, and she leans down and kisses me on the side of my forehead.

I feel weird being this close to Faith with her mom around, I don't know, it seems…um, I don't know, disrespectful?  Maybe?  I don't know, but it doesn't seem to matter cause I didn't move and Rose doesn't seem to even notice us.  She's busy getting ready to go to her conference soon and believe me I'm REALLY nervous about that fact.  It's not that I don't want to do stuff with Faith, I mean we practically had sex up against the door when I first got here, only to be nearly caught by Rose.

Earlier that morning

Faith opens the door, I can barely make eye contact with her, I'm looking at her but not really looking at her.  I feel so completely nervous I just kinda give her a weak, "Hi."

With what I assume is a smile on her face, because I still haven't even made eye contact, "Hey!"

I start talking before I really know what to say, which we all know isn't a good thing, but I really didn’t think it was going to be this freaking hard, "I, uh, I'm sorry I wasn't here, I…"

"Doesn’t matter.  You’re here now."

I can't think of anything to add so I just nod.

Then she motions me inside and chuckles, "Why don't you come in from the entire lack of cold?"

Wow, déjà vu.  Seems like we've done this before.  Oh right we have, only it was her coming to me back then.

I barely step inside, Faith closes the door and turns and bumps right into me since I didn‘t move far.  I turn and I’m looking right into her eyes.  The first thing I notice and it hits me like a sledgehammer, her eye is puffy and discolored.  Then I remember, I hit her last night, I hit her a lot last night.  The bruise on her face, on her wrist, and who knows where else, I did that, and I realize that I’m just like my father.

She gently lifts my chin, waits until I make eye contact, "You're not him, Buffy."

My mind is all over the place, I can‘t think.  She’s so very close right now, she looks so completely different.  Mostly because she got her hair colored, it's a lighter brown color with some blonde highlights and my God she’s fucking hot.

Faith leans in and her lips touch mine.  The kiss is soft and sweet and it's followed quickly by another one, by the fourth kiss her tongue slips into my mouth as she pushes me back against the door.

The kiss has gone from soft and sweet to urgent and needy, her hands are roaming over my body, coming to rest on my breasts and I decide to get into the act as well, and I slide my hands around her waist and down over her ass and I squeeze.  Her ass is freaking fantastic.  Her hands immediately drop from my breasts, she pulls back a little and I think maybe I did something wrong until I feel her right hand slip between my legs, as she starts kissing and sucking on my neck.  She's rubbing me hard through my jeans and I can’t help but moan.

Everything is feeling so freaking good right now, her hand, her body, her mouth, everything.  She moves her hand up and I feel it under my shirt on my bare stomach, it makes me shiver and feel this tingling sensation rip through my body when she pops the button on my jeans and slides the zipper down.  A second later her hand is on my stomach again, slipping under the elastic of my panties…

Suddenly I’m staring at the Emergency Fire Procedures sign.  Huh?  What the hell?  Her mother comes out of the other room, "So what are you girls doing?"

Oh Shit!  Her mom, Oh my god!  Her mother is still here?!?  Fuck.  I suppose the answer she's looking for isn't, ‘I was just about to have sex with your daughter.’

So yeah, that was nearly a disaster.  Luckily Rose hadn't been looking at us when she asked the question, I woulda been mortified if Rose had caught me trying to re-button my pants.  I couldn't believe Faith was actually about to…um…anyway the point is, I was a little upset with her for putting us in that situation and I asked incredulously, "Your mother's still here?!?  You didn't think that was information you should share?"

Faith looked momentarily flustered, "I…uh," she shrugged sheepishly, "I forgot?"

"You forgot?  How do you forget you aren't alone?  How do you forget your mother is in the very next room?"

She looked a little thoughtful and apologetic, "I don’t know…I find it really hard to think whenever you’re around…"

She just looked so cute standing there, looking flustered.  And that was it.  That was the end of it.  How could I continue to be upset?  It was…after all…my fault.  Right?

We watched TV for a little while, had some breakfast delivered to the room.  Oh yeah, genuine room service, I've never in my life have gotten room service, I have to admit it was pretty freaking awesome.  While we were eating breakfast, it occurred to me just how very different we are from each other.  She musta read me because she quickly stated, "I didn't grow up like this Buffy.  Matter of fact, I thought we were quite poor.  For the first 10 years of my life I had no idea our house had hot running water."

Her mom laughed, and assured me it wasn't that dire, Faith was just exaggerating.  To which Faith rolled her eyes as her mom walked away, and Rose yelled back, "I saw that."

“You didn’t see nothing.”

Her mother stopped walking and turned back to Faith, “Anything.  It’s ‘you didn‘t see…ANYTHING.’”

Faith shrugged, “Yeah well, you didn’t see that either.”

Her mother walked off shaking her head.

Anyway, back to the present.  Sitting here with her I wonder, does it really matter Faith didn't grow up this way?  This is how she lives now, a life including room service, and big, humongous 5 star hotels complete with pseudo celebrities in the lobby, and snotty, snooty clerks who look at you like you don't belong.  I'm so out of my league here it's not even funny.

And to illustrate this point perfectly is the way Faith is dressed.  She's still wearing jeans, some things don't change right?  But the jeans aren't skin tight, they are slightly baggy on her and boy let me tell you, she looks incredible in them.  And she’s wearing a Donna Karan deep red silk shirt, which probably cost more than my entire outfit; if not my entire wardrobe at this point.  Her hair is up, I can see she has diamond studs in her ears, and around her neck, is a small cross embedded with diamonds and some other type of jewels I don't even know, but one thing is for certain, it has to be worth a fortune.

Oh but don't worry, I don’t have any plans on leaving her, there’s no way I can do it.  Not now at any rate.  Not after finally remembering her.  Remembering I've known Faith since I was 8 years old.

Growing up, I didn't really have a lot of friends, most of my time was spent with my cousin Celia, she was my bestest, best friend.  My Aunt Karen and Uncle Paul, her parents, lived next door to us, so Celia and I were almost always together, practically since birth.  We used to play in the park across the street from our house.  Everything was perfect, until the end of 2nd grade, when Celia got sick.  She had leukemia.  Another thing the Council fucked up on me, I couldn't remember why Celia died, for a while there I actually believed some kind of invisible demon had killed her right in front of me and I couldn't stop it.

How fucking stupid is that?  Anyway, she was better by 4th grade, she'd gone into remission and everyone thought it was over, everyone thought she had beaten it.  But then, I'll never forget, it was at my birthday party and her nose just started bleeding and wouldn’t stop and afterwards she had to go back to the hospital.  So see?  My birthdays have always held bad memories for me, even before I became a slayer and moved to Sunnydale.

I didn’t realize it at the time, I didn't know how very sick she was, I didn't know the cancer had come back with a vengeance and nothing could be done to save her.  I didn't freaking know then.  I hadn't a clue.  I knew when my mom took me to see her she was always so tired.  But again, I never thought anything of it which is why that day we went to the hospital and everyone was crying I didn't get it.  Everyone was always upset at the hospital, so I took off and went to Celia's room as I usually did.  I thought she was playing with me, I had thought she was hiding under the sheet to scare me.  I snuck so quietly over to the bed, intent on pulling back the sheet and scaring her, of course she still wound up scaring me because she was dead.  And boy howdy did I freak the fuck out.  Then again who wouldn't?

So long story even longer, I was distraught, I started having these really bad dreams.  Sometimes it would be Celia, screaming out for me to help her, like she was being attacked by something.  Other times I would dream of vampires and demons, sometimes they would be attacking these girls, mostly the girls were older, guess maybe those were past slayers.

And then I dreamt of this little brown-haired girl being drowned by a big ugly master vamp, THE Master, from Sunnydale.  She always looked so small and helpless, and so very scared.  After a few weeks, I finally figured out what to do, and I staked him, and he poofed.  I helped Faith out of the water and spoke to her, telling her everything was ok, someday I'd have to fight the Master, but not to worry, I would eventually win and it would guarantee we'd meet in person.

And ever since that night, I'd have really bad dreams, followed by dreams with the little dark-haired girl.  I didn't know her name, I knew she was from Massachusetts, I knew she had brothers, and she'd choose death over wearing anything pink.

So uh, where was I?  If I'd have known I'd be going on so long I woulda brought some water.  Heh.

It’s been said, Faith and I have a history, it's a lot longer than either of us realized back in Sunnydale.  Of course those dreams became something comfortable to me, she was someone I wanted to spend time with, someone I loved, in the best friend sort of way, or so I thought.  Imagine my surprise when I got older, and those dreams changed dramatically, from nice picnics and sunshine, to hot, steamy sexual encounters.  Talk about a wiggins.

Even worse was I had nobody I could talk to about it, none of my friends at the time would have understood, and well, my parents just weren't an option for obvious reasons.

Rose seems to be ready to leave; she comes over and gives Faith and I each a kiss goodbye.

Faith asks, "So you'll call when you're done, and we'll pick you up."

Rose scoffs, "You know I'm quite capable of taking care of myself…"

"Yeah, yeah Rosie, but you're still gonna call yeah?"

She huffs a little more but finally relents, "Fine, I'll call."

"Good.  Then we'll see you later, have fun, good luck.  It's a great paper I really like it."

And with that she left.  And now we’re all alone, just the two of us, and well, Spongebob Squarepants, but he doesn't count right?

It’s almost comical the way we both are hitching around, both of us knowing what we want, but neither one of us want to make the first move.  Perhaps we were still worried we'll reject the other, I don't know.

So here we are, hitching and moving, suddenly uncomfortable, where we had been perfectly comfortable for the past hour.  Finally we come face to face; I can feel her breath on my face.  Slowly our lips meet; she places these soft, gentle kisses against my lips.  I move so I'm sitting on her lap, her hands slide up into my hair as her tongue flicks out and touches my lips, a second or two later she does it again, only to find my tongue there.

The kisses are still soft, but they are incredibly intense.  I reach up and run my hands through her hair, as her hands slide down and around to caress my back as we kiss.

Its funny how good we are being right now, nobody is around and yet we haven't even attempted a move to second base.  Which is funny because earlier we had moved past second and were well on our way to third.

We make out for a few minutes until we need to take a break, resting our foreheads against one another while we catch our breath.

She pulls away slightly and looks me in the eye, running her hands up and down my arms, "How about we move this into the bedroom?"

We could move this to Mars for all I care, as long as we get to keep doing what we're doing.  I nod, and slide off her lap, she gets up and turns and holds out her hand to me.  I take it and she pulls me up and into her arms and she kisses me again.  Then she stops and I wonder why, she says, "One sec…"

She heads over to the door and holds up something, oh, ha ha ha, a do not disturb sign…good idea.  I laugh and smile at her and she turns to open the door, and suddenly I start feeling very insecure.  All this knowing what we are about to do, and the fact that I've never done it with another woman before, I'm all sorts of nervous.  I'm positive Faith has done this with other women, I'm sure she's had girlfriends; she'd been ‘out’ back in Boston so she must have.  And I can't help but think what if I don't compare?  What if I do something wrong?

It's a lot of pressure and I don't know, one second I'm standing by the couch, the next I launch myself at her.  She's rather surprised at this turn of events, but she catches me in her arms easily, and I immediately wrap my legs around her.  She stumbles backward slightly; her back hit's the door, she pushes off the door as her hands slide under my ass so I don't fall.

Soft kisses are no more, I'm kissing her wildly now, I just want to get this first time over with.  I know I'll be mad later, when I realize our first time came and went in a flash, but I'm just too nervous to do this slowly, not to mention I'm so turned on it almost hurts.  She doesn't seem to mind, she kisses me back just as wildly, with the same amount of zest and passion.  She starts walking back toward the bedroom and the closer we get the wilder I try to be.  Trying desperately to lose myself in this so I won't be nervous anymore, see?  ‘Tis a great plan.

I slide myself off of her when we reach the bed, and even though I have zero experience here I try to push her onto the bed quickly.  And this woulda worked if she wasn't a slayer too.  She stops us from falling onto the bed, she pulls her head back.  "Hey, hey, hey, where's the fire?  What's the hurry?  Slooooow…," she kisses me briefly, "is better."

I’m not quite sure what she means by slow, because she immediately pulls my shirt up and over my head and off my body.  She tosses it onto a chair behind her.  Her hands slid around to my back again as her lips found mine again.  So as not to be left all shirtless all by myself, I start tugging at hers, trying not to rip it because it really looks expensive.  If it didn’t look so expensive, and had I not just been told to go slow, I woulda just ripped it right off of her.

But I don’t, I only manage to get two buttons undone before she quickly takes it off and throws it on top of mine.  Her hands and mouth went right back to what they were doing just a second ago and now I slide my hands on her exposed skin, on her sides, and around to her back, God her skin is so smooth.

Right at this moment, I feel so comfortable with the whole being with another woman thing; there is nobody else I want to be doing this with, she‘s it, there will never be another.  She is going to be the last person I ever sleep with, and you know what, it’s perfectly fine with me.

Her one hand is at the small of my back and her other slides up my back and I swear she just touches my bra and suddenly it’s undone and discarded.  I have no idea how she did it, but I’m so impressed I just hafta ask, "Where did you learn to do that?"

She smiles sexily at me, winks, "I have mad skillz."

Before I have a chance to say anything else, she dips her head down and sucks my nipple into her mouth, whatever I had been going to say, just kinda comes out like, "Aaaaahhhhh."

And it's really loud too.  Like porno loud.  My cheeks flush with embarrassment and I can feel and hear Faith chuckling.  Before I can get mad or say anything else, she sucks rather hard and my hands are back in her hair and I'm moaning.

“Ohh Faith…”

Again with the really loud…oh my god what is wrong with me.  I’m way past the point of caring now, too lost in the feeling of her mouth on me.  She moves to my other breast, tongue swirling around the nipple, she bites down gently.

She moves upward trailing little kisses up to my neck.  I take this opportunity to try the old one handed bra removal technique I had just witnessed.  Turns out I don't have skills, mad or otherwise, and now I'm desperately trying to get the bra undone.  I’m totally frustrated, pulling at this stupid bra with two hands, poor Faith is getting jostled around while I struggle with it.  I’m about to say fuck it and just pull really, really hard, like slayer hard, but I don’t have to, she reaches around and again single-handedly defeats the offending garment.  She’s such a showoff, isn‘t she?

I'm more than a little mad at the bra, and embarrassed as well, but I don't care cause it's off now and I just toss it over my shoulder and all I can think is wow, when she pulls me closer and kisses me again.  Our bare skin feels incredible up against each other, her breasts pushing up against mine.  I pull away from her kiss, and follow her lead and lean down and put her nipple in my mouth.  WOW, I can’t believe I’m actually doing it, Faith lets out a little breathless groan and again I feel this tingle shoot through my body.  Her hands haven’t stopped working though, my pants are once again undone and she’s pushing them down over my ass.

She pushes me gently onto the bed, and pulls off my pants and panties in one move, she quickly undoes her pants as well.  I’m a little put off by the fact that I’m totally naked and yet she has kept her panties on.  I’m about about to protest when she lays down on top of me, her one knee falls between my legs so that she’s straddling my thigh, even with the panties on, I can tell she’s just as turned on as I am.  She leans down over me, she kisses me, I start to panic a little when she stops.

She stares into my eyes, her fingertips brush against my cheek, “God Buffy, you’re so beautiful…”

She looks almost confused as her eyes travel down the rest of my body, I start to feel a little self conscious.  She looks like she’s struggling to find the right words, and she just says, “So beautiful, and so…perfect.”

Her lips brush gently against mine, “I love you Buffy.”

And my heart just freaking melts, is she not like the perfect fucking girl herself or what?

She kisses me softly, sweetly at first, which quickly gives way to fervent and needy.  Her hand slides down over my breast, down across my stomach, and it’s still going down.  She touches my pussy for the very first time, I’m so freaking turned on, her finger slides up against my clit for all of two seconds and I come immediately.

Oh my God, I can’t believe I just did that.  She’s touched me for two freaking seconds, guys last longer than I just did.  I start to lose it, I’m panicking in my head, but she doesn’t seem upset.  She giggles into my neck and starts nibbling on my ear, her hot breath on my ear has me ready to go again in a matter of seconds.

She whispers in my ear, “I’m not done with you yet.”

She slides herself down my body, planting kisses along the way, I know exactly what she’s gonna do.  I spread my legs open for her, embarrassment is the furthest thing from my mind, I just want her mouth on my pussy, it is my only goal at the moment.  She doesn’t keep me waiting either, her tongue slides over my lips, against my clit.

Her mouth feels so good on me, her tongue swirls around my clit and I just can’t keep still, she grabs my hip with her one hand, trying to keep me where she wants me.  I swear I’m almost ready to come again.  I try desperately to hold out, but it’s really hard.  OMG the things this girl can do with her tongue would simply amaze you.  She seems really into too, like she enjoys doing this.

I’m so wet, so turned on, so close to the edge.  She must sense it too because she slides her fingers inside of me, gently starting to move them in and out, her tongue is alternating from flicking at my clit, to just circling it with her tongue.  I’m making so much freaking noise, but I just can’t help myself, everything she’s doing is just pushing me higher and higher.  Her fingers are moving incredibly fast, and I’m so freaking close, I want to tell her what to do to push me over the edge, but I don’t have to because she already knows.  She quickly grazes her teeth over my clit and that’s it, I’m done, I‘m crashing.  She doesn’t stop though, she keeps up her ministrations, dragging the orgasm out as long as possible before she finally stops and moves back up on the bed.

She kisses me sweetly for a few seconds, we break apart and she lays down on her side, with her head on my shoulder as I try to catch my breath, her fingers making small circles on my stomach.

Being a slayer certainly has it’s advantages because after only a few brief seconds of rest, I’m ready for my turn.  My turn to finally get at that body of hers.

I push her gently onto her back, my arms are on either side of her shoulders and I lower myself down to kiss her.  Our breasts slide against each other again, she half moans, half whimpers.  And I swear to god it’s the sexiest sound ever.

I move to kiss her neck, right under her ear, who knew those sex dreams would come in handy.  I know she exactly what she wants, what she likes and I’m gonna make sure I give it to her.  There will never be anything she wants that I won’t give her.

I trail wet kisses along her collar bone, her head rolls back and her breathing becomes more labored.  I finally get to do what I’ve been dying to do, and I take her nipple in my mouth, swirl my tongue around, bite down just slightly and she moans loudly, although not quite as loud as I did.  I cannot believe  I’m the loud one in this relationship.

“Ohh baby…”

While my attention wanders to her other breast, I move my hand over her other one, massaging it, squeezing it, pinching it.  Her hands roam all over me, my hair my shoulders, anywhere she can touch me.

I pull back, start tugging her panties down, she lifts up and I remove them quickly.  I turn back to look at her and my god she’s gorgeous.  If you thought Faith with clothes on was something to see, you should really see her without them.

Or..uh, not, because she’s mine.  And believe me, I do NOT like to share.

I go back to sucking on her tits, I could spend all day just doing that, but there’s more pressing things to attend to.

I kiss her between her breasts and start moving downward, I kiss her on her stomach trying very hard to not remember the bad stuff.  I keep going lower until I feel Faith stiffened up.

I look up at her, wondering what could have made her do that, she looks so serious, her forehead is all scrunched up.  Finally she says, “You…you don’t….you don’t have to…”

I’m very confused, why wouldn’t I want to?  But I ask, “Do…do you not…want me to?”

She looks away, kinda nervous and says, “W-well no, I…aaahhh fuck…”

I didn’t really wait for her answer, I just dipped down quickly and licked her.  Hehe.  I’d been a little apprehensive, which is probably why she said it, god she so sweet.  In more ways than one.  Wow, did I just think that?

I keep licking her, I slide my tongue over her clit and she groans her approval.  She puts her hand on my head, stroking my hair, and it’s giving me the tingles.

I must be doing something right cause she suddenly can’t keep still, she‘s moaning and breathing rapidly, “Yeah baby….”

Oh God, her voice sounds super sexy when she’s turned on, deeper, more raspy.  I can’t believe she’s nearly got me ready to go again, just from hearing her.

I slide my fingers inside of her, and it feels freaking amazing, I’ve never felt this close to anyone in my life.  I’m not quite sure where she ends and where I begin, it‘s just…incredible.

I move my fingers faster and faster, I hit the right spot cause she lets out a long moan, I make sure to keep hitting it.

“Oh god, right there baby…“

I know she‘s close to finishing, so I concentrate on licking her clit.  She’s squirming like crazy, I can’t believe it’s me doing this to her.

After a few minutes she came hard and fast, and what else would you expect from Faith right?  I make my way back up her body, very happy.  She grabs me and kisses me hard, a few seconds later she collapsed back on the bed, breathing heavily, eyes firmly closed.

A few minutes later, she opens her eyes and looks at me, shy little half smile on her face, she’s so freaking pretty.  Her hair is messy, there’s a strand of hair falling down by her eyes, she sits up slightly, reaches over for the cigarettes and ashtray on the nightstand.  She didn’t say a word as she lit up a cigarette and held it out to me.  I didn‘t take it, instead I put my lips on it and inhaled, no need for my own, we can share this one.

She gives me this sweet smile and says, “Wow…”

“Oh yeah….”

We both laugh slightly, she looks at me seriously for a moment and says, “Hey guess what?”

“What?”

She looks under the sheet at my naked body, then back up to my eyes and says very loudly, “You’re NAKED!”

I laugh, “Hey, you are too, yunno…”

“Yeah but I’m used to me being naked.”

“You’re an idiot.”

She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I laugh again, she‘s so cute.

“Dude!  Is this bed wicked comfortable or what?”

“Oh my God I know.”

“We’re so getting one of these for our bedroom.”

She pauses for a moment, “I mean…we are gonna live together right?  I mean I know I didn’t ask, I just assumed and…”

“Yes Faith, I’d really like that.  Although that might take awhile, kinda broke, and in need of a job.”

“Pffft…You don’t need a job and neither do I.  We already have a job…“

“Oh yeah, the slaying.  I don’t know what you’ve heard about that but it does not pay very well, actually it pays NOTHING.”

She smiles at my little joke, “We don’t really hafta worry about money Buffy, it’s cool.  I got that part covered.”

“We’ll live on love?”

“Um, no, I was thinking more like we’ll live off my trust fund.”

She smiles and it hits me, I’m dating a rich girl.  I regret asking as soon as the question leaves my mouth, it’s really none of my business, “Just how much is this trust fund?”

Faith doesn’t seem to mind the question and answers, “Around…25, give or take.”

I’m a tad confused, “25?  25 what?”  I say the first number that makes any kind of sense to me.  “25...thousand?”

Faith laughs, her eyes sparkling, “Um…no, baby.  It’s about 25…million.”

The number scares me a bit, actually it scares me a lot and I fall out of bed and land with a thud on the floor.  My wonderful girlfriend leans over the side casually, “Is this gonna be a problem?”

To nobody in particular I say, “A problem she asks?  25 million dollars a problem?”

She laughs and shakes her head.  Finally she offers me her hand and pulls me back up onto the bed.

“Seriously, you’re not freaked right?”

“It’ll be hard, but I think I’ll manage.”

“Well don’t get too excited, the money comes with many, many strings attached, and almost all of those strings lead straight back to the evil dragon lady.”

“The Evil Dragon Lady?”

“My grandmother.”

Oh…

The End