Chapter Six - Puzzle Pieces

POV Rosemarie

I watched out the window as the two girls walked hand in hand toward the building's parking lot. One of them seemed familiar, but it's not unusual when you're a teacher, you always think you recognize students. The dark-haired girl turns to get into the car and I see her face, it's a face I would recognize anywhere. Faith...

In a flash I was gone, out the classroom, pounding down the stairs, I ran out toward the lot and I saw the car pulling toward the exit. I ran as fast as I could toward their car, I yelled out to her and for a moment I thought she saw me, but then the car pulled out into traffic. I stopped, I was too late, she was gone again. Thankfully I got the license plate number, and I slumped onto a nearby bench to catch my breath and to try and process what I had just seen. I swear she saw me, maybe she did and just wanted to stay gone. It makes no sense, she's supposed to be dead.

I'm not really sure if I believe in miracles or things of that nature, but this is truly amazing. I'm only in LA to co-chair a Literature Conference which in and of itself isn't all that amazing. The fact the conference was supposed to be held in Lawrence, Kansas a few months ago, and only through an act of God, or rather a tornado, caused it to be moved here. And I'm here, on campus for all of twenty minutes and I see her, I see her in a place I wasn't supposed to be at all. Perhaps it's time I start praying, or maybe just play the lottery, cause this has to be my lucky day.

A few minutes later, Charles, the conference co-chair, ran out of the building looking for me, for a large man he was moving pretty fast, when he reached me he just slumped on the bench next to me, trying hard to catch his breath. "Jesus Roe...where the hell were you...running off to? Are you ok?"

I look at him amused for a second, him worrying about me is rather funny, he looks like he's about to have a heart attack. I grab the pen out of his pocket and write the plate number on my hand. I hand him back the pen and say, "I'm fine. Sorry if I alarmed you..."

"Are you going to tell me the reason for the sudden calisthenics, is this a pathetic attempt to get me to exercise? Did my wife put you up to this?"

I decide it's best to jump right into it, "I saw my daughter."

That comment stops him cold, he looks at me like the nutcase I probably am and says, "You're daughter?"

"Yes."

"The one that died?"

"Yes. The only daughter I ever had."

"Do I need to point out how crazy you sound?"

"No, I'm well aware how crazy it all seems to be, but I'm telling you I saw my daughter get into a red Porsche with a blonde girl and take off for God knows where."

He just sighs, he's known me for many years, he knows I'm not the hysterical type. If I say I saw her, he might not completely believe me, but I know he'll help me. We sit for a few more minutes, I smile as he finally asks, "Did you get the plate number?"

I just show him my hand and ask, "Is your son working today?"

"No, he's up at Big Bear, although I believe he'll be back to work overtime tomorrow. And even though it's against my better judgement, I'll give him a call and ask him to run the plate. Fair enough?"

I nod because it's going to have to be fair enough, I don't know any other way to track down a license plate number. I'm sure the police won't want to help me, they weren't all that helpful the first time around and I don't want them to call Nick and the kids and get them all worried about me. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the night, knowing she's out there, somewhere in LA but not being able to go to her.

POV Clementia

I had arrived in LA early this morning, and I immediately sought out the target, the Hyperion Hotel. I spent most of the day observing the happenings from my perch in a nearby tree. A couple of times I thought the vampire spotted me, but it seems he's not as adept at sensing the supernatural as I had been told. But just in case I know he won't be around tonight, I have it on good authority he will be leaving the hotel very shortly, going out to rescue people. Funny that...a vampire saving people, I don't think I'll ever get used to that one. But I guess stranger things have happened, I know, I've witnessed a lot in my line of work.

Believe me I'm very happy to be doing this job; usually I just get to clean up other demon's messes, it's not my usual trade to be cleaning up human messes. Human messes aren't quite as bad, believe me, you don't want to be the one cleaning up after vengeance demons, those women are really...well...vengeful, not to mention messy. And I can't help everyone, although I try, some people just don't want to accept their part in the scheme of things. They don't want to admit that it's something they've done which caused this badness to happen to them, which really doesn't put them in the mood for forgiveness. So, it's my job to show them what they've done and hope they accept it and forgive. If they can forgive they will be allowed to move on to whatever comes next, if not, they'll either stay in limbo or they'll find themselves in Hell.

It's really hard work; there are many vengeance demons, but only one of me, as you can imagine my time is scarce. But when the Powers that Be ask...nay... demand you do a job for them, you'd better clear that calendar in a real hurry, cause they are not a patient lot. Who am I you might wonder? I am Clementia, the goddess of mercy and clemency, hence the name. I know, it sucks, believe me I'd much rather be Diana or Venus, even Hecate, but such is life.

A half an hour after sunset, I watch as the vampire leaves; I wave goodbye to him as he drives away. I'm out of the tree and on the roof in a flash, I sneak down through the unlocked roof door, I move down the corridor cautiously because I don't want to be seen before I'm ready. I finally get myself situated in a darkened corner, from my vantagepoint I can watch the meeting going on below as I wait to make contact.

It seems like hours before the anagogic demon finally shows up. I heard he ran a demon sanctuary called Caritas which means mercy in Latin, which also means me in Latin, kinda funny if your me and don't get out much. Anyway, this demon is connected to the mystic, but it's not his psychic abilities I'm interested in tonight. It's his empathy for the dark-haired slayer, which brings me here.

He is seemingly lost in his own thoughts, when he hears the meeting he stops and watches for a few moments, I take my cue and timidly sidle up next to him and ask, "Penny for your thoughts?"

I startle him and he jumps a little, "You scared the beejeezus out of me, we really need to put bells on all you slayers."

I shrug at him sheepishly, "Sorry...I just didn't want them to catch me listening in, they get really upset when us new slayers want to get involved."

"Well, I don't blame you for sneaking, that group doesn't let anyone in apparently..."

I play along and ask, "What do you mean?"

"Well, for instance, Faith. She's a slayer too, and yet all they do is pretend she doesn't exist. If they would just listen they would realize most of her ideas are really good, they could really help you newer slayers. At least Buffy is starting to hear her; I just wonder how long Buffy will keep doing it if her friends don't want to let Faith in. I just wish for once they could all see things from Faith's point of view..."

"Done."

He looks at me hard for a moment and asks, "What did you just say?"

"I said I think they're almost done. I'm gonna get out of here before they notice me."

He eyes me suspiciously for a moment, then looks down at the meeting to see if it's really breaking up and when he looks back, I'm gone. Unfortunately it's not anywhere pleasant, I have to help a man whose girlfriend is wishing that his no good, cheating, lying ass slides under a gas truck and tastes his own blood before he violently gets blown up. Damn...I really need a vacation..."

POV Buffy

I can't believe how badly the meeting went; I never realized how much my friends ignore Faith and her opinions completely. It seems since I've more or less gotten control of my senses, they just wanna go back to treating Faith like her opinions and observations don't matter. This is just so unbelievable; maybe this is why she never came to any of our meetings. Well, that and we never actually invited her. I'm so pissed at them right now; it's like if a suggestion doesn't come from my mouth they don't wanna hear it. I'm most surprised at Giles; even he seemed to blow her off.

I tried everything I could think of to include her, which pretty much backfired. I just merely repeated one of Faith's suggestions and they jumped all over it, saying it was the best idea ever meanwhile when Faith said it they acted like it was a horrible idea. Needless to say, she's pretty upset and took off before I could get a chance to talk with her, so now I'm out here looking for her, hoping to make things right...again. It doesn't take me long to find her, she's only gotten a few blocks away from the hotel, she's busy fighting some vamps, four on one, not really good odds if they've been around for a while so I casually ask, "Want some help?"

"Nah, they're newbies, not really risky."

The vampires seem to be insulted and one of them yells at her, "We are not newbies, we've been vampires for two whole weeks now."

She just looks at me and shrugs, "Did ya hear that? Two whole weeks..."

"Yeah, better be careful..."

"Well you know me, careful is my middle name."

I roll my eyes and just stand there watching her, she is truly a sight to behold. I love watching her slay, she moves so fast and fluidly, and I wonder if I look that good when I'm slaying. A punch here, a kick there, damn she's not even really working up a sweat, so much for hoping they would make her hungry and horny. I watch her as she slowly takes them out one by one. Now there's only one vampire left and he's just completely clueless, he tries to start talking trash, "You will rue the day you ever messed with..."

I wonder what he was gonna say before she staked him, eh, it was probably something lame. "Are you rueing the day?"

"Yep, I'm rueing, whatever was I thinking messing with those bad ass vamps...I sure hope I've learned my lesson..."

"I'm sorry about my friends..."

She looks down and sighs, "Yeah, I'm used to it."

"Well you shouldn't be..."

"Forget it, let's just stake some more vamps and call it a night, yeah?"

At that point I knew it was pretty pointless to try and talk to her about it. So we patrolled around for another hour, unfortunately there were more vampire slayers out than actual vampires, but I guess that's to be expected these days. The girls were all following the suggested rules, no slayer out patrolling alone, so we steered clear of them not wanting them to think we were spying on them.

By the end of the week all the girls will be on their way back to their respective homes at least until we figure out what were gonna do. We've assigned them all email addresses so when we finally decide where the new base of operations will be we can contact them and see if they want to join us. If they don't choose to join us we are going to try to send them some kind of watcher person. Although there isn't much left of the old council, but Giles thinks we can find some people who'd be willing.

Faith and I both demanded we get to interview any potential watcher, I wanna make sure they aren't like the old council, meanwhile Faith said she wants to make sure they aren't dorks. Of course she was only kidding, hmmm...I think she was only kidding, it is quite possible she was serious. Finally Faith has had enough walking around, and calls it a night and we went back to the hotel.

I walk with her towards her room, it's kinda awkward, I don't know if I'm supposed to follow her inside or say goodnight or kiss her goodnight, or wait for her to do it. There isn't a chance to do any of those things as she quickly opens the door and steps inside. I just sigh and keep walking and then she calls out to me, "Buffy?"

"Yeah?" As I turn to look at her I just keep repeating, 'don't say nothing, don't say nothing, don't say nothing'. The moment seems to be dragging on and I'm thinking she's definitely gonna say nothing when she surprises me, "Stay with me?"

I feel her nervousness, I guess she thinks I might say no, but I say, "Sure..."

I feel even more nervousness from her as she looks everywhere but directly at me. "I-I don't wanna do anything, I just..."

I close the distance between us and make her look at me, "I know, it's ok." I give her a quick kiss and a little half smile before I follow her into her room.

Chapter Seven - The Shared Dream Experience

POV General

During the night, while Xander, Willow, Giles and Buffy are fast asleep, safe in their warm little beds, unbeknownst to each other, they all start having the same dream. A dream that will show them the other side of the story, the side they were never supposed to see.

It's the old Sunnydale High School; Faith is pacing back and forth in front of the double library doors. She's muttering to herself, "just ask him, what's the worst he could say?"

After a few more minutes of pacing she finally takes a deep breath and walks into the library. Giles is behind the library counter, stamping in the returned library books, he looks up at Faith and smiles slightly and goes back to his work.

She walks up to the counter, "Giles? I was, uh, wondering, um, if the uh Council would consider...giving me some money?"

Giles stops what he is doing, looks at her, "You need money?"

"Well, um, not right this second, but if they could maybe give me something, I might actually be able to..."

The rest of the gang comes in as Faith finishes, "eat..."

But it's too late, Giles full attention is on Buffy and the gang, "Ah, Buffy, I'm glad you are here..."

Faith looks upset as she watches them all walking over to the tables, she runs her hand through her hair, closes her eyes for a moment. She takes a breath, then another, when she opens her eyes; she no longer looks upset but looks rather bored. She wanders over to the rest of them and takes a seat on one of the tables.

The dream continues. Now it's the inside of a bar, Willy's Alibi Room to be exact. Willy is standing behind the bar and Faith comes walking in, she takes a seat at the far end of the bar. Not one of the demons or vampires in the place moves, they don't seem to view Faith as a serious threat. Willy comes over. "There's a game in the back..."

Faith grins, "High stakes?"

He nods, "For them..."

She smirks as she walks into the back room and grabs the open seat, "I'm in, what are we playing?"

Most of the Scoobies don't recognize any of the demons at the table, except for one big, tall, floppy-eared demon they all know to be Clem. They seem to be playing cards for a long while; Faith must have won most of the hands, which is obvious from the amount of chips piled up in front of her. The others seemingly admit defeat and start getting up and leaving the room.

Clem gets up and walks around the table, he looks totally upset, but he sighs and hands Faith a basket with two kittens in it, one of the kittens is mostly white with a little splash of black on it's tail and the other is completely black. She looks at the kittens, then looks up at him, "What are these?"

Clem smiles helpfully, "They're kittens..."

She laughs slightly and shakes her head. "I KNOW that...why are you giving them to me?"

"These are your winnings..."

"What? Where's the cash?"

"Oh, we don't play for cash, we play for kittens."

"WHY?"

"Oh, well...I guess cause they are delicious when you cook them..."

Faith looks disgusted and yells, "YOU EAT THEM?"

Clem shakes his head yes and Faith sighs angrily. She pushes up from the table and goes to storm out, she gets halfway to the door and comes back over, gives Clem a defiant look and picks up the basket of kittens and walks back out into the bar.

"WILLY?" She screams at him and he is falling down laughing at her, "You shoulda seen your face, that was so fucking priceless..."

"Man...you knew they were playing for kittens, you coulda told me ya fuck."

She puts the basket on the bar and takes a seat. Willy is still laughing at her. She says, "Yeah real fucking funny, I don't need kittens, I need money, rent is due and I'm...really fucking hungry..."

Clem sits down next to her and says, "Well, you could always eat one of the kittens..."

She yells, "CLEM!" She looks at him angrily and sees his smiling, helpful face and she sighs and says more calmly, "You're really not helping..."

Willy comes back and puts a shot glass down in front of her and fills it up with Jack Daniels, "Have a JD and quit your bitching...in a few minutes some Kronos demons will be coming in here looking to play a little 9-ball..."

She looks hopeful, "Really?"

"Yep, I heard they got lots of cash, so you should make out alright. And in the meantime, I got some kegs that need to be changed out, so that should keep you occupied."

She asks sarcastically, "Whose gonna watch the kittens?"

Clem doesn't get it and offers, "I could watch them for you..."

"Fine...but I see one of those kittens anywhere near your mouth, we're fighting." She turns back toward the bar, "Uh...Willy?...Did you not hear me say I was hungry?"

Willy rolls his eyes and grabs a bag of popcorn from behind the bar and throws it to her, "I'm putting it on your tab."

She mumbles under her breath, "Yeah, yeah, yeah...what else is fucking new..."

The dream continues, Faith is standing on a porch with a box, an attractive, young, woman answers the door and asks, "May I help you?"

"Oh, um, hi, you don't really know me, but I heard that your daughter's cat kinda got run over the other day. And I happened to come across these kittens and I was wondering..."

The woman smiles widely, "That is so thoughtful, come in, you can give them to Tiffany yourself...she's gonna love them..."

"Well, I..."

The woman holds open the door, "No, no...come in...You know, it's weird, but I looked all over Sunnydale, can you believe not one kitten in this whole town..."

Faith is now inside the living room, she puts the box on the floor and squats down in front of a little girl playing with her Barbie dolls.

"Hey, you're Tiffany right?"

"Yeah...Who are you?"

"I'm Faith, I, uh, was hoping you could do me a favor."

The little girl eyes her suspiciously, "What kind of favor?"

Faith takes the kittens out of the box "Well, these little guys need someone to look out for them, I was wondering if you could do that for me."

The little girls eyes lit up, big smile on her face, she immediately drops the Barbie and takes the black kitten from Faith and holds it close to her, giving it kisses on the top of it's head. "I could do that...What are they're names?"

"Well, they don't have names..."

"Oh..." She thinks about it for a moment and says, "how about we call this one Faith..."

Faith laughs slightly, "You wanna name the cat after me?"

"Yeah, it's got dark hair like yours...What do you think we should call the other one?"

Faith smiles at the kid, then picks up the white kitten, she looks at her little furry face, laughs slightly, "You could call this one Buffy..."

The little girl nods her consent and they put both kittens on the floor and the black one pounces on the white one and they roll around, biting and pawing at each other, the little girl asks worriedly, "Are they fighting?"

"Nah, they're just playing...See..."

The white one is now on top of the black one and starts licking it's ears. Faith grins at them; "They're just really good friends..."

The scene shifts back to Willy's Alibi Room again, this time there are some Christmas decorations hanging up. Faith is sitting at the bar slouched over with her hand holding up her head. She looks sad and depressed, Willy comes over to her, he's looking a little worse for wear. His arm is in a sling, all around his eyes are the yellowish, black color of fading black eyes, "You know, you should really find yourself a boyfriend, you are too good a catch to be single."

"Yeah...what am I gonna do with a boyfriend?"

A big red demon, with horns growing out of his head, takes a big sip of his beer and interjects, "The same thing women always do, take our money, leave us with nothing and then go and sleep with the first chaos demon you meet."

She sighs, rolls her eyes and says to him, "Ralphie that was over a year ago...get over it already..."

Willy jumps in again, "How about that kid, what's his name...Xander. That kid is going places."

"Why would I want to go out with Xander?"

"Well, first off, you could do worse. Second, you ain't gonna get the princess..."

"Who said I wanted her?"

"You did."

Faith rolls her eyes and answers, "Yeah...well...that was a long time ago..."

"It was like a week ago...on Christmas Eve...you were all happy, begging me to let you have the night off..."

"Whatever...I'm over it. Back to the land of the sane hetero's..."

"Well...I'm glad you're over it, I'm still wearing the evidence that I gave you the wrong night off."

Faith looks down, "I told you I was sorry..."

Willy waves off the apology, but won't be deterred, "So, what about it?"

"I don't know, we'll see how it goes." Willy leaves to serve another customer as she thinks about it, she smiles slightly, "He is kinda funny though...not bad looking...single now that Cordy's done with him. He seems trustworthy, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't hurt me, not that he could make anything happen if I didn't want it to happen. And I really hate being alone all the time." Willy comes back with an expectant look, she says, "Maybe you're right Will, maybe Xander would make a good boyfriend..."

The scene shifts again, this time it's Faith's little crappy apartment. Her and Xander are lying there in post-coital bliss, he is gently running his hand up and down her arm, she's digging it. They smile at each other and he says, "Oh god Cordy..."

Faith stops and stares at him, "Who did you just call me?"

Xander looks confused for a moment and then it seems to dawn on him what he just did, and he answers nervously, "I-I said Faith...I called you Faith...Not Cordy...I never said Cordy..."

They're standing on opposite sides of the bed now, Faith has the sheet wrapped around her and Xander has his underwear on. She argues, "Yes you did, I heard you..."

"I-I don't think you heard me correctly, Cor..."

Xander slaps himself in the head at his stupid mistake yet again. Faith stares at him for a moment and points to the door and screams at him, "GET OUT!"

"What? No...come on. It was an honest mistake I didn't mean it Co...um...Faith? Why the fuck do I keep doing that?"

"I don't know but you can think about it outside..."

She gathers up his stuff and pushes it into his arms and she pushes him out the door. He is standing outside her room now and he looks back in at her and she says sarcastically, "That was great...gotta shower..." Then she slams the door on him, he stares at the door for a long moment, then shrugs and starts getting dressed.

Back inside the room, Faith walks around, she's running her hand through her hair, she finally sits down on the bed. She pulls her knees up to her chest, she wraps her arms around them and puts her head down, it appears as if she's crying.

Now it's the Sunnydale High School Library, there is a big, huge demon stuck in the floor. It has huge tentacles with eyeballs on each of them, all around are the Sisterhood of the Jhe. Angel and Faith are fighting the sisterhood, the demon takes a swing at Angel, but he ducks and swings back at her hitting her dead in the face, breaking her neck, she falls back onto the ground dead, another one takes it's place. Faith is beating one of the them, she stabs it in the chest and it falls to ground, she turns and starts helping Angel with his demon. Giles swings at the Hellmouth demon with an ax, trying to force it back into the Hellmouth as he recites the rest of the binding spell.

"Omnia...vasa...veritatis!" Then he screams at Buffy, "Now, Buffy!"

>From high above him, at the stack level, Buffy swings a battleaxe at it, it tries to retreat from her back into the Hellmouth, it lashes out with it's tentacles in it's attempt to avoid Buffy's blows. One of the tentacles hits Angel hard, throwing him into a wall and knocking him unconscious. Meanwhile, another one lands a solid hit on Faith and she goes flying up and over the reception desk, she hits the wall behind it and you can hear the crack of bones breaking before she falls to the floor.

Buffy is madly cutting into the demon's tentacles as it quickly tries to slip the last of the way back through the Hellmouth into Hell, once inside the gateway seals itself behind it. Buffy runs to Angel's side, it takes a few minutes but he finally wakes up. Giles and Willow come over to them; they help Buffy get him to his feet and out the back library door into the fresh air.

A few minutes later, Faith stands up slowly behind the reception desk holding her arm and wincing a little in pain, her forehead is cut and bleeding. She says, "I, uh, shit...I think I broke my arm, guess I'm gonna need..." She looks around and notices that everyone is gone, her eyes are wide in disbelief. Finally she snorts a little disgusted laugh and starts walking around the reception desk toward the double doors, carefully avoiding the hole in the floor still holding her broken arm. "Don't mind me, I'm just the extra slayer, it's not like I have feelings..."

The dream changes again back to Faith's apartment. There is a knock at the door; she looks towards it frowning. She sighs as the knock comes again; she gets up off the bed and opens the door, "Yeah..."

Quentin Travers is standing there, he offers out his hand, "Hello, Ms. LeHane, I'm Quentin Travers from the Watcher's Council."

She looks at his hand for a moment, unsure what to do, finally she shakes it, "You must be lost, Buffy and Giles are at the high school."

"I assure you, I'm not lost, I'm here to see you. Do you mind if I come in?"

"I don't know...can you?"

He laughs slightly as he walks in, "You do know it's daytime..."

"Yeah...I was making a joke...I'm a funny girl..."

"Quite..."

Faith turns her back to him, headed back towards the bed; suddenly she is shot with two electrical probes from an EMD gun. As soon as the probes hit her she falls to the ground, muscles spasming for a few moments as she just lays there completely paralyzed. She's still conscious, her breathing is rapid and ragged, the look on her face is one of pure terror, tears stream down her face as Quentin calls out to the others waiting outside, "Quickly...get her into the truck so we can finish this before it wears off."

Faith is in the back of an armored car, she slowly regains consciousness and looks around. She looks down her body and her eyes widen in shock, she jumps up and immediately pulls back up her pants. She frantically looks around, she's freaking out. "What the fuck..." She's starting to hyperventilate, she spins around wildly, she doesn't know what to do, where to go. Suddenly she falls down on her hands and knees and throws up. When she's done she backs away into a corner of the truck. She pulls her knees up tight to her chest again and starts rocking back and forth until she finally loses it and starts crying, "Oh God..."

Now Faith is standing on Buffy's porch, she looks like she doesn't know what to do. One of her arms is wrapped around her stomach, the other one she's nervously biting on her thumbnail. She's really nervous, shifting back and forth on each foot, trying to decide what to do, finally she knocks, and after a few minutes Buffy answers the door.

"B...Buffy?"

Buffy looks really pissed, "Oh, you finally decide to show back up, finally decided to come back and do your fucking job."

"I-I...I..."

Buffy starts yelling at her, "God forbid you take any responsibility Faith. Do you have any idea what I've been through the past couple of days..."

Faith stares at the ground, she won't look up at Buffy. Buffy continues her tirade, wildly gesticulating with her arms, she's so into her responsibility speech she doesn't notice how Faith flinches every time Buffy's hands shoot out. Buffy finishes yelling and Faith just turns and slowly walks down the steps without saying anything, Buffy blows out an angry sigh, goes back into the house and slams the door shut.

The scene shifts again, its the outside Giles' apartment building. Faith is standing there, she's looking at the door, and she walks over to it hesitantly and is about to knock when Giles comes down the stairs behind her, "Faith?"

Faith jumps back a little into the shadows and says, "G-Giles..."

"Oh, it is you. I suppose you're here to ask about the Cruciamentum test..."

"Test?"

"Oh...uh...it's a rite of passage...the...uh...Council..." Faith tries to back further into the wall when she hears the word council. Giles looks a little concerned, he takes a step closer to her, "You look really...bad, perhaps you should go home and get some rest."

Faith nods and cautiously moves past him, she gets to the stairs and Giles says, "I, uh, should probably inform you that the Council fired me tonight. They'll be sending another Watcher which means you should probably try to, uh, be a little more...like Buffy...I'm not saying you have to be her, but it wouldn't hurt you to be a little more responsible. You can't just come and go whenever you please, going out partying all the time..."

Faith looks stunned, "Partying? Yeah...that's what I've been doing...partying..."

Faith is standing outside Willy's Alibi Room talking with Willy. He says, "Look, I'm really sorry kid, but I can't let you hang around here no more. If you're smart you'll get your ass on the next bus outta town..."

Faith looks hurt and confused, "What? Why?"

"I'm talking about the fact you killed the main supplier for the entire demon underworld of Sunnydale. Allan Finch was the man to see if you needed to get things in this town, if say you needed an Asian virgin for a spell or ritual, or you needed to get fresh blood delivered to your bar, he could make it happen. Every demon and vampire in Sunnydale wants a piece of you now, as a matter of fact, I'm not all that happy with you right now either. The only person you've made happy is the Mayor."

"Why would he be happy about it? They worked together..."

Willy shook his head, "Obviously you've never met the Mayor, he's kinda...insane and completely unaware of Finch's little side business. The Mayor would probably view it as unsavory or lewd or pornographic, I don't know, apparently he's completely freaked out by germs and anything involving sex and women. Anyway, the word on the street is Finch came looking for you and the Princess to rat the Mayor out cause he's planning something that will most likely destroy all of Sunnydale. And that would have been awfully bad for Finch's business..." Willy laughs and shakes his head, "Apparently you should have talked first and staked later..."

Faith gets pissed, "Fuck you, all right. Believe me I'm already getting enough shit about it. It was a fucking accident, coulda just as easily been Buffy holding that stake. It won't take long for the superfriends to find out about it; no way Buffy will keep quiet. No way will they believe this was an accident. They'll probably call in the Council or something, I'm sure Willow would be the first one to suggest calling them, that girl really fucking hates me. They'll never protect me the way they would Buffy, and why would they, they never gave a shit about me before. And what's the Council gonna do, most likely put a bullet in my head, that way problem solved and they'll get a new slayer to boot. It's a win-win situation for them. Jesus...this...this is just...fucked..."

Willy just shrugs, "Well, I don't know what to tell ya. The best thing you can do is get the hell outta dodge, before it's too late..."

Faith looks at him and sighs, "After what you just told me that's not really an option."

"So what are ya gonna do?"

Faith turns and starts walking away, "I'll think of something..."

Faith is in a small room with lots of furniture piled up, she opens one of the drawers to a desk and looks around nervously. She takes a pencil out of her pocket and drops it in the drawer quickly and slides it shut again. She steps outside the room as a vampire brings in a scared looking Willow and pushes her into the room and shuts the door.

Faith turns to the guy, "You bite her and I swear I'll seriously torture your ass before tying you to a tree so you can watch the sun rise. Don't fucking think I won't..."

The vampire swallows nervously at the threat and nods his head in agreement and Faith turns and walks out. The vamp shoots the finger in the direction Faith just left and turns his attention toward the door.

Faith walks down the corridor inside City Hall, she stops as she sees Willow sitting on the floor looking through the Books of Ascension, she says to herself, "You gotta be fucking kidding me...This coulda all been over by now."

She glances up at the camera, which is pointed directly at Willow, she sighs and mutters, "Fucking idiot..."

She steps into the doorway, "Check out the bookworm."

Willow jumps up and turns toward her, "Faith!"

"Anyone with brains, anyone who knew what was going to happen to her, would try to claw her way out of this place. But you, you just can't stop Nancy Drew-ing, can you? Guess now you know too much and that kinda just naturally leads to killing."

"Faith, wait. I want to talk to you."

Faith glances at the doorway, she sees the Mayor standing there and says "Oh yeah? Give me the speech again, please. Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not too late."

"It's way too late. You know it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends in your life like Buffy." Faith rolls her eyes at the mention of Buffy being her friend and Willow continues, "Now you have no one. You were a Slayer and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.

Faith punches Willow in the jaw and she falls to the ground, "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.

Willow climbs back to her feet, "Aw, here I just thought you didn't have a come back."

Faith says, "You're begging for some deep pain."

"I'm not afraid of you."

Faith pulls out the fancy knife, Willow's eyes go a little wide, "Let's see what we can do about that."

The Mayor finally interrupts, "Girls, I hope I don't have to separate you two. Faith, you can play with your new toy later. Something's come up."

Faith keeps holding the knife to Willow's neck, staring into her eyes, The Mayor continues from the door, "Faith! You know I don't like repeating myself."

Faith looks Willow up and down and says, "I got someone. I got him."

The Mayor continues speaking, "I just received a heck of an interesting phone call."

The dream finally ends. The four continue to sleep, a little more restlessly than before the dream.

POV Faith

I look into the mirror, and I wonder outloud, "Why am I doing this again?"

I think about it for a moment, "Oh yeah, cause I sold my soul for some money and a shiny red Porsche."

I really don't believe that, but I gotta admit, I don't like the fact Wolfram & Hart is involved. Not that Angel has me doing work for them, but I don't like them this close to me or Angel for that matter. I know this whole thing isn't going to end well, Team Angel working for evil incarnate...I'm gonna hafta do something about this.

I walk out of the bathroom, I look at the girl sleeping in my bed, it makes me smile. Buffy is really beautiful, she looks so peaceful sleeping, I kinda feel bad for having to duck out on her, but I'm sure she'll understand. When I get back, she'll know I did it for a good reason. I lean down and kiss her on her forehead and caress her cheek gently, she shifts slightly and smiles in her sleep.

I watch her sleep for a few more moments. I think about everything I told her last night, about my life before Sunnydale, all the abuse suffered at the hands of the people who should have loved me, who were supposed to protect me. I really wish I didn't have to leave right now, I don't want her to wake up and think I ran away. I left her a note though, letting her know that I'm not running away, I just had something to do. Also letting her know that I love her, I know it would be better to tell her to her face, but I want her to know and I'm just not ready to say it out loud yet.

Chapter Eight - Finding Out

POV Faith

I can hear Xander coming down the hallway, so I take one last look at the girl who has my heart. I hope she understands just how hard it was for me to give it, I hope she knows that it's more fragile than anyone would ever suspect. I turn and open the door before Xander has a chance to knock; I don't want him to wake Buffy up. He seems a little startled to see me. I ask as I quickly shut the door.

"Ready?"

He just nods, he seems too quiet, Xander's mouth is usually running a mile a minute, and it's kinda disturbing to see him so mellow. But he did just lose his chick so I won't call him on it. We step outside into the darkness, damn I really hate that it's still dark out, one thing I really don't like is getting up before the sun. I check my jacket pocket for a stake just in case, I really don't need Xander getting killed by a vamp while he's with me, cause somehow I don't think anybody would believe it was an accident, and well, been there, done that, got the long prison sentence.

Xander and I get into the car and I can't take the silent act any longer.

"So...Angel says you asked for me specifically...why?"

It takes a long while before he finally speaks.

"Because...I know if I ask you, you'll give me an honest opinion."

"Hmm...I guess that really would depend on what you asked me..."

I wonder where he's going with this. I wish he had spoken to somebody about this, if something should go wrong, how much trouble would I be in? I know I should be more worried about Xander, but he already has plenty of people to worry about him.

"I suppose so, it's just...I know you won't tell me what I want to hear. You won't just give me some lame pep talk and expect everything to go back to normal."

"Xander...they just want you to be ok..."

"Well in case you haven't noticed Faith I'm not ok, I'm a very long way away from ok...and apparently I've been fucked up for quite a long while..."

OK, I have no clue what he means or how to handle this situation; I'm the last person he should be with right now. I should probably turn around and take him back...

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea..."

He just sits there and doesn't say a word one way or another. I'm starting to get really worried about him, when he finally says, "I just...I'm sorry, Faith..."

OK, what did he just say? He's sorry? He's apologizing to me? Why?

"Huh? I think you got it backwards there, shouldn't I be apologizing to you?"

"To be honest, I don't think so, I don't think you owe me anything. I should have apologized to you a long time ago, I guess I didn't realize calling you by the wrong name..."

Oh...so that's what this is about. Yeah, you do owe me an apology for that...dickhead. Of course I let him off the hook and I just kinda shrug.

"It happens..."

"It shouldn't have and I'm sorry. I never realized how much we treated you like you didn't matter, and maybe if we had treated you better, maybe if I had tried to make things up to you before everything else happened... I don't know, maybe I wouldn't have seemed like such a jackass when I thought I could be the hero and save the day."

"Look...Xander, stop this, it's not your fault, a lot of things happened back then to contribute, it wasn't just you..."

He interrupts me, "You're right Faith, it wasn't just me. It was all of us, we were complete assholes and you deserved much better."

I wanna argue with him more, want to tell him it's entirely my fault. I'm the one to blame, I was wrong, I deserved exactly what happened, it's my fault cause I'm evil, I'm bad...my father taught me well didn't he? But I'm not that girl anymore.

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry too..."

"I know...I forgive you..."

I just nod at that, I'm not quite sure what else there is to do, I really don't think I'm ever gonna understand these people. When I wanted their forgiveness they couldn't be bothered, and now that I'm not looking for it, they're practically tripping over themselves to say it.

We drive a few more blocks before he looks over at me and smirks, "So, what's going on with you? You, uh, dating anyone?"

Ok, I wasn't expecting that question, actually I wasn't expecting any of this conversation. I'm not really sure what he means. Or how to even begin to answer so I just play it cool, "Why...you interested?"

He laughs slightly, "You know, don't think just because I only have one good eye at the moment I didn't notice the really hot, blonde slayer sleeping in your bed..."

Oh fuck...busted! I glance nervously over at him.

"You saw that?"

He's really laughing at me now, enjoying seeing me squirm, have I mentioned how much I don't like him?

"So? What of it? Come on let me have it...let's get this over with..."

"Nope...I got nothing to say."

I eye him suspiciously; I wonder why he's not saying anything. I can't help but say something sarcastic.

"Well that's a first..."

Fortunately he just laughs; he gets that I wasn't trying to be mean.

"Ouch...Are you always this cheerful in the morning?"

"Yep, especially when I'm really hungry, like right now..."

"You're hungry? Try only having water since 3 p.m. yesterday, then you can talk about hungry..."

"Oh...so these guys are like real doctor's then?"

"Yeah, I guess, it's a mystical/magical/medical kinda thing, or so I was told." A few more blocks go by and he asks, "Hey, is it true? Did you really take out the whole Sunnydale police force?"

I shrug defensively, "They started it..."

He laughs, I grin, I think this is probably the best conversation I've ever had with Xander, it's definitely the longest. "That's what I thought..." After a few minutes he finally asks, "Do you think I'm doing the right thing here?"

Ah, the question that requires the honest opinion. This is just totally weird, Xander wanting my opinion on something, wanting me to take him to the doctor. I seriously don't get it cause just last night the Scoobs were doing their whole 'pretend Faith doesn't matter' thing again. I wonder why they act like that one-minute then act like we're supposed to be friends the next. I know I don't have much experience when it comes to friendship, but I'm pretty sure that's not it. Also, it really doesn't help me get over my trust issues with them, but as always, I try to help out.

"I don't know, Xander. I guess it depends on why you wanna do this...if you're doing it just to make Buffy or Willow feel better then this is definitely a bad idea. If you want this for yourself, then, why not? It's worth a try. But I guess the question you really need to ask yourself is: can you handle it if it doesn't work out?"

He just nods and takes in what I've said. I feel bad for the guy, this is kinda a tough decision. Who knows what could go wrong? I guess he gets it too.

"You think they might mistakenly give me an evil eye?"

"I'm not sure, I suppose it could happen, but this isn't Sunnydale, things might actually work out here. Hey, maybe you can get a cool x-ray vision eye. Check out all the girls, see if the carpet matches the drapes..."

I give him a grin and a nudge with the last comment. He smiles back at me and shakes his head.

"I can't believe you just said that..."

"Or...maybe you could get like a cool laser eye. Like the guy from X-Men, Cyclops. He's a major stud. You could probably dust vamps at like a thousand paces or something. Hmmm...Lasers? I'm gonna write that one down."

"You are one strange girl Faith..."

"Thanks..."

I really meant the last part, calling me strange means he at least has an opinion of me. And hey it's better than what I had imagined he thought of me. Maybe they're finally coming around, maybe Lorne was right. Maybe I will finally get something good going with these people.

We drove the rest of the way not really talking much; Xander kept pointing out all the food places that were open. I kept threatening to stop at one of them. It was good times.

POV Buffy

I woke up slowly and reached out for Faith and I realize she's not there with me. I sit up in a panic, remembering the conversation from last night. Remembering the awful things Faith had to deal with, feeling all that pain from her when she spoke about it. I kinda knew she didn't have a great life before Sunnydale, but I never knew how truly awful it was for her. I met some kids who went through some rough stuff at the high school, but nowhere near as horrifying as this.

The hardest thing about hearing it all was keeping strict control over my emotions, I didn't want her to feel pity, I wanted her to feel loved. I wanted her to feel loved because up to this point, her watcher and Angel were the only people to ever show her that. I wanted her to know that I care about her too. And to let her know I won't be abandoning her that I will always be here for her, like I should have done when she first came to Sunnydale.

Speaking of which, I remember this dream I had last night, seeing the way Faith had to live in Sunnydale. Seeing everything from her point of view for pretty much the very first time. I realize now how very little we knew about the things Faith did, how she survived, how she managed to pay for her living expenses. I never thought how hard it must have been for her, being barely 18 with no family, no money, nobody left who cared about her. The only person to have ever given a shit about her was killed right in front of her all because of a stupid test, a stupid meaningless test.

And me, what did I do? Nothing. I never gave her much thought, well, that's not exactly true. I thought plenty about her, those thoughts mostly centered on Faith having sex with some random guy, enjoying herself, liking who she was, being the number one party girl. And goddamn it if I wasn't completely jealous, which is just ridiculous, I had everything and she had nothing. But I was jealous of her. And Faith just went along with it, she just acted like everything was 5 x 5 when it wasn't even close to resembling good. Or maybe 5 x 5 meant 'everything sucks, I need help.' You know she should really come with a dictionary.

I finally spy a note on her pillow, I'm almost afraid to read it, afraid it's gonna tell me that she left, she needed her space, she couldn't stay with me. Or any one of a thousand variations on that theme, and who would blame her for that. It takes me a few minutes but I finally get my courage together and reach for it.

Buffy,

Sorry I had to leave so early this morning. There's something I need to do this morning. I woulda told you about it, but it's kinda like a secret or something. Don't worry, I promise you I'm not doing anything illegal, it could possibly be immoral though--but this is me we are talking about, so...

You wouldn't believe how much time it took me to write this note, I spent about twenty minutes trying to decide the best way to start it and about another twenty to decide how to sign it. Weird, huh?

I just wanted to say thanks for everything you did for me last night, I appreciate it more than you'll probably ever know.

Love you,

Faith

Aww...she loves me...I knew it, I kinda love her too. I know if would seem to some that us admitting we love each other would seem like we're moving way too fast, but it doesn't feel that way to me. It just feels right to me; it feels like I've finally found someone I can be happy with, somebody I can share my life with. Sure, there's the whole, she's another girl thing, but I have to admit, her and I make a whole lot more sense than Riley and I, or Spike and I, it even makes more sense than Angel and I. Don't get me wrong, I loved Angel, I really did, but Faith and I connect on a level that those guys just can't touch, she understands me like no other person on this planet. And I know it's not just the slayer thing, it's more than that, a whole lot more than that, it always has been, I guess that's why it scared us both so much at first.

I probably would have stayed here in her bed waiting for her to return, but there's a knock at the door. I look around; I'm feeling a little brave surrounded by all of Faith's stuff, and I decide now is as good a time as any to have people find out about us.

I open the door and I'm kinda shocked to see Willow standing there. On second thought, perhaps this really wasn't the best time for people to find out. She sees me and says, "Oh...Buffy? I thought this was Faith's room?"

I smile a little and try to be brave; "It is..."

She looks confused for a moment, she takes in my just got out of bed appearance and then her eyes get really, really big, her mouth drops open as she realizes what I am inferring. She points her finger at me and says a little too loudly, "You slept with her again?"

I pull her inside because I really don't want an audience and I close the door. She's just standing there and all of sudden she says nervously, "Um...maybe you guys wanted to be alone..."

"She's not here, Will." I hand her the note I was still holding, and wait for her to get to the end. I wonder what she's gonna say as I nervously bite my lower lip.

Again with the yelling, "She loves you?

"Ok, can you not scream that so loudly?"

Willow looks totally confused, "Why? You...are you...not..."

"No, it's ok...i-it's good...I'm really happy about it, I kinda love her too. I'm not really ashamed or embarrassed..." I feel the blush creep across my face and frown, "ok that might be slightly inaccurate..."

Willow takes that all in and smiles at me, "Oh Buffy...welcome to my team..."

I laugh and she gives me a hug, I knew she wasn't gonna have a problem with this. We sit down on the bed and I suddenly wonder why Willow was looking for Faith, coming to her room so early in the morning...

She sees my look, "Stop that...I wasn't coming here to get with Faith. Although she is a hottie..."

My mouth drops open, "Willow!"

She grins at me, "What? She's a girl, I'm a girl, we like girls..."

OK, now she's just mocking me and I don't like it, so I just settle for pouting. I can't keep it up though, I haven't been this happy in...well...a really long time. It's quite possible I've never been this happy before.

"I just came here this morning because I had a dream about Faith last night..."

My eyes just widen at that, what kinda dream did she have?

"Oh, stop it Buffy, not that kind of dream. Hello...I have my own slayer, I don't need yours."

I wonder if she's figured out that the whole 'hungry/horny' thing isn't just a myth, but decide to keep my wondering to myself. I just sigh, "I guess I'm being a little stupid and jealous, huh?"

"Just a little bit..."

I suddenly realize something and I ask, "This dream you had...was it kinda like you were seeing things from Faith's point of view."

"You had it too?"

I just nod, damn, that's not good. Hopefully Faith won't freak out too much perhaps we just don't mention it.

Willow asks me, "Did you know about all that stuff?"

"No...not all of it. She told me about the truck thing yesterday. I can't believe I never listened to her...she came to me for help Will..."

Damn...my emotions are all over the place this morning, one minute I'm sad and then I'm happy and then I'm crying, it's almost like I have no control over them. I just put my head on Willow's leg, I can't help but cry at what I did to Faith, at everything that happened to her. All that abuse Faith was forced to deal with, it's just too much. I know Willow is crying too as she gently strokes my hair. She says, "I know...and she tried to help me get away from the Mayor, and I called her a worthless waste. We're bad people Buffy..."

I can't argue with that, "The worst...I can't believe she actually came back to help us. If I was her I woulda gotten as far away from us as possible."

"And Xander...I really need to smack him in the head. Calling her Cordelia, what a complete dope. And then not even apologizing. No wonder she tried to strangle him. I probably woulda done it too if he had called me Cordelia at that moment. I can't believe I was actually jealous she was with him..."

"What about Giles? He wasn't much better. I can't believe he told her to be more like me. Doesn't he understand we're girls, you don't ever compare one girl to another? It's just...wrong."

We sit quietly for a few minutes, thinking about how horribly we treated Faith. I can't believe she broke her arm and I never knew about it. I can't believe she actually tried to help Willow escape. Is it possible she was on our side and never left it? I guess it's possible, I can understand why she couldn't say anything, why she might not have wanted to say anything. Maybe she wanted me to figure things out, she gave me lots of opportunities to see, and maybe I just didn't want to.

That night with the box of Gavrock, she hit Willow, but didn't leave any mark, if she was really our enemy, if she really had hated Willow as much as everybody thought, there would have been a bruise, mostly likely a big one. At the very least there would have been major swelling but there was nothing. I remember the fight we had over Mrs. Post, I remember how bruised up Faith was, and how unmarked I was the next day. It's so fucking stupid, I actually thought my healing was better than hers, thought that I was just stronger than she was, I'm a fucking idiot. I didn't have any bruises because she didn't really want to hurt me, she held back, same thing with the fight before Graduation. Faith had me, she held me at the edge of the building, prepared to toss me off, but she hesitated. If she was so evil, and bad, why'd she hesitate? Why not throw me off the roof, and win? All these thoughts just swirl around my head, all those things I didn't notice then, are clear as d ay to me now. Why? Why didn't I see it then?

Willow's laugh interrupts my dark thoughts, "That kitten thing was really cute..."

I sit up and smile a little, wiping away some of the tears. "Yeah. I can't believe how sweet she was with the little girl."

"I liked how she told her to call the white kitten, Buffy. And then they pounced on each other and the white one licked the black one's ear...it was cute...kinda like you two..."

"I never licked her ear..."

"I'm just gonna be the mature adult and let that one go..." I blush a little at my own stupid comment, as Willow gives me this little sly look, "So, have you guys..."

"No...not yet...we just, um...kissed a few times..."

Willow grins at me, "You and her made with the smoochies?"

I can't stop blushing, and just nod. Willow looks confused and asks, "Faith hasn't...um...cause you know...she..."

"I know...you'd think she'd be pouncing on me, but, um...nope..."

"You want her to pounce?"

I nod, "Oh yeah. A lot..."

She grins at me and I blush some more. I'm not used to discussing this, discussing my feelings for girls...for Faith. I'm not used to somebody knowing that I want to do stuff with girls...with Faith. It is kinda weird.

"How'd this happen? Did you have feelings for her before?"

"Yeah, kinda. Back then those feelings just gave me the wiggins, I didn't know what to do. I never felt that way about another girl before, it really weirded me out, then Angel came back and things really got confusing."

Willow nods her head, of course she understands. She knows exactly what I was going through, she dealt with Oz coming back after she met Tara, after she knew she had feelings for Tara. I know she understands it all now, but I'm not so sure she would have gotten it back then.

"Then, after Finch and the Mayor-thing, those feelings just turned into hate and anger. I felt like she had abandoned me, like she'd rather be on the side with evil than on my side. I never realized that maybe it was me who had done all the abandoning. Oh my god, I didn't tell you what she showed me yesterday."

Willow gives me an evil little grin, "What did she show you?"

I laugh at her and blush a little more, "Nothing like that...God Will, get your mind out of the gutter. You know it's really disturbing how much more Xander-like you've gotten over the years."

She gives me a mock indignant look, but she can't keep it up. I give her a moment to collect herself.

"You know the Professor? The volcanologist?"

"Yeah, the one she killed."

"That's the thing...he's not dead."

Willow looks really confused, "What do you mean he's not dead?"

"I mean, like he's alive and teaching classes over at UCLA, she introduced me to him yesterday. She told me as far as she knew he was dead, she has memories of going to his apartment and killing him. She also told me weird things always happened to her in Sunnydale, like she'd wake up and it would be days or hours later than she thought."

"So you're thinking..."

"Maybe someone, like say...the Council...was messing with her head. I don't know any other reason for those things to have happened. Faith's pretty convinced the Council was behind it, but she doesn't have any proof. She told me she never mentioned it cause who would have believed her. And up until now, she was right; none of us would have believed her. But I know she's not lying Will, I just...I know it. I really need to talk to Giles, I just hope I can convince him."

"Count me in, I wanna help. I owe her my help."

I'm not sure what that comment means, Willow has not been the most understanding person when it comes to Faith, but I really don't have time to worry about it, at least she's on board, and that's good, I'll probably need her help to convince Giles.

POV Rosemarie

I look up at the giant Wolfram & Hart Building the license plate number has led me to, it took a lot of persuading but I finally convinced Charles I needed to do this on my own. I look at the building registry and decide to go straight to the CEO, perhaps he has children and I can convince him to help me, although I'm a little skeptical, the guy's name apparently is just Angel, like Cher or Madonna, I hope he's not as flaky.

I went up to the CEO's floor, I tried to get in to see him but the receptionist told me he wasn't going to be in today. She told me to have a seat and somebody would come to help me. I sat and watched the people walking around, they must have been celebrating Halloween in May or they were having some sort of costume contest. There're were a whole lot of weird looking people walking around, reminds me of the Catina scene in the movie Star Wars, very strange.

After a long while, a tall dark-haired woman finally approaches me. She looks rather bored to be dealing with me, I pull out the picture I had made of Faith this morning, "I'm looking for this girl, I understand she might be working here?"

She sighs and takes the picture, suddenly her eyes light up and she asks, "Did she maim you or hurt you in any way?"

What the hell kind of law firm is this? "...No? Do you know her?"

"Did she kill anyone you know? Whatever she did, do you want to press charges? It would be our pleasure to put her back in prison if you want us to..."

Prison? What did Faith get herself into? "No...I'm just looking for her. Who are you? Do you even work here?"

"I'm Lilah Morgan, I work directly for the senior partners. Who are you and why are you looking for the 'rogue slayer'?

Slayer? What the hell is a rogue slayer? "Look, I'm not in the mood for games, just tell me where I can find her?"

"One question at a time...who are you?"

"I'm her mother..."

"Her mother?" The woman looks me up and down and says, "You don't look like an alcoholic..."

Faith told people I was an alcoholic? That doesn't make any sense. "My daughter told you I was an alcoholic?"

"No...it was in her file. You also don't look dead, although some people can still manage to look good even though they're dead...you'd be surprised."

"Her file? What in bloody hell are you talking about? Is there anyone else I could talk to?"

"No, there is nobody else here that could help you, just me. Let's go to the café downstairs, I'll tell you everything you need to know, and then some."

On the way to the elevators, she asked for my full name and then spoke to the receptionist. I'm a little worried at how delighted this woman seems to be to tell me about Faith. I doubt she and my daughter were friends, so I wonder what she's going to tell me, but what do I have to lose? Maybe she can at least tell me where my daughter is; I really don't care about anything else she has to tell me.

POV Faith

I feel like I have been waiting here for hours, oh wait, I have been, I'm telling you if I have to eat one more candy bar or drink one more cup of that shit they call coffee I'm gonna go nuts. OK, maybe not completely nuts, but I will sigh a lot, and fidget, and beat the crap out of this magazine and possibly the coffee machine.

Finally Xander comes back out into the waiting room, I just look at him and smile, the patch is all gone and he just looks at me with both those brown eyes. I never realized how much I liked both of Xander's eyes. I get up and walk over to him, "X-ray vision?" I ask as I hold out my arms away from me so he can check me out.

He looks me up and down and says, "Um, no."

"Too bad..." I wave my hand up and down my body and say, "Ahhh, you've seen this already anyway. Pretty standard issue..."

He looks me up and down again, "Standard issue? Um, Faith, there is nothing about your body that is standard..."

I grin because I like compliments, he laughs and I take his arm in mine, and we walk out of the office together, I say, "So, was the nurse hot? Did it hurt? Was it bad? Was the nurse hot? Did you get a guarantee? Can we eat now? Was the nurse hot?"

He ignores most of my questions, but does manage to focus on the important one. "Oh God yes, I'm so hungry."

On the way back we stop at McDonalds to scarf down some food. I forgot how good it all tastes, cause after all, it's been about four years since I last had McDonalds, but don't worry I made up for it. Everything was really cool until we parked outside the hotel and I felt a surge of rage that I haven't felt in years. I never wanted to feel that way again, but I know it's not me this time, its Buffy. What the hell could make her that angry?

POV Buffy

I threw on some of Faith's clothes cause I don't really have any of my own. I wonder if Giles would like to lend me some more money. I already owe him a small fortune, what's another couple of hundred, right? I finally manage to look less waif-like in Faith's clothes, she's only slightly taller than me, but her chest is a lot bigger than mine, but with some strategic tying of fabric, I look more presentable. Willow and I walk out of the room and we ran into Dawn, literally. She ran Willow and I down like a wayward truck, I swear that girl has way too much energy for a normal teenager. Which kinda makes sense when you consider she used to be a big ball of energy.

"Where the hell have you guys been? I've been looking for you all morning...Xander's gone...I went to check on him and he's gone. We gotta find him Buffy, what if something bad happened to him."

We try to re-assure Dawn, but she's right. He lost Anya and he has been acting really withdrawn, he didn't even eat any of the pizza we got last night. And there's the whole fact that our little group doesn't have a habit of dealing with death very well. So we grab Dawn and run downstairs to Angel's office, we just burst in without knocking, Giles, Wesley, Lorne and Angel all look at us in surprise and Dawn yells, "Xander's gone, he might do something bad..."

Angel speaks up, "No, Dawn it's ok, Xander's fine."

"How do you know?"

"He's just out with Faith, she just called me, they should be back here shortly."

Dawn gets all huffy with Angel, "You coulda told me that earlier..."

Angel looks totally confused, and I feel bad for him cause he's really not used to teenagers. "You didn't ask me..."

"Whatever..." Dawn just takes off out of the office in a huff, teenagers...ya gotta love them. One minute everything is bad and the next minute it's still bad but for a different reason.

I watch Dawn go as I try not to freak out too much that Xander and Faith are hanging out together, I have visions of dollar bills and girls wearing g-strings, hopefully that's all they're doing. There could be lap dances going on, Faith could be getting lap dances...damn, I really need to stop listening to Howard Stern cause I have way too much knowledge about strip clubs. I know there could be another perfectly good explanation for those two being out together. But seriously, where else could those two have gone? And Faith did say she wasn't doing anything illegal and some might refer to strip clubs as being immoral. Thankfully Giles interrupts my internal dialogue.

Giles stands up and offers me his chair and Lorne offers Willow his, Giles says, "Good thing you're both here, we need to discuss some things..."

I just sigh and take a seat, "If this is about another apocalypse I really shouldn't be held accountable for my actions..."

Wesley says, "It's not an apocalypse...an apocalypse might be easier to deal with..."

What does that mean? If this isn't about an apocalypse then why do they look so upset, unless...maybe something happened with Cordelia. I focus on Angel, "What's going on here Angel?"

"It's about Faith..."

Uh-oh, I hope to God they are not about to give me a lecture about dating Faith, I decide it's best to play it cool. "What about her?"

It's Giles who continues, "We, uh...we found out some rather disturbing news about Faith...um...it seems the, uh, Watcher's Council kidnapped Faith, they took her from her family. They...they took her, they performed, uh, experiments...spells..."

Lorne says angrily, "More like they tortured her..."

Angel looks really angry as well, he interrupts Lorne, "They also put spells on all of us in Sunnydale...they didn't want us to get close to her."

I cannot believe what I am hearing, I am so pissed, so beyond any anger I have ever felt in my life. I practically growl at them, "WHY?"

Wesley starts, to his credit; he seems shaken up by this news. "It seems they tried to make a slayer they could control, they used memory spells, brain-washing techniques. They had done that with Kendra and had some promising results, so they tried the same thing with Faith. When Kendra died, they decided to take things even farther with Faith, apparently they didn't like the influence you had over Kendra and wanted to avoid that. So, they made it so Faith couldn't connect with people; they wanted her mistrustful and suspicious, so that she'd remain isolated and alone. They wanted her to kill vampires and demons without any thought or consideration."

"Why would they do that to them? To her?"

I look around the room, none of them will meet my gaze, none of them will tell me why. Although I'm starting to get it, starting to understand why. "Let me guess, I wasn't the Council's ideal version of a slayer, was I?"

Giles tries to offer some words of comfort, "Buffy...nobody here is blaming you..."

I'm trying really hard not to lose it completely, "And yet?"

Oh my God, this is all my fucking fault, everything... Instead of making me feel bad, I just feel anger. I am so freaking angry, at the Council, at myself, at everything and everyone. Everything Faith told me about herself last night; I suddenly wonder how much of that is really fucking true. And I guess I also know now why we never really helped Faith, we never helped her because the Council didn't want us to help her. The Council made sure we wouldn't even want to help her. I just wanna lash out at something; I feel this overwhelming need to hit something.

Wesley says, "We think there may be a way to correct the situation..."

I really want something to hit right now and lucky me; I've got a volunteer. I look at him in disbelief, "Correct the situation? HOW? You got a time machine Wes? How can you take back the last five years of her life? How do you correct the fact that she thinks she watched her step-dad murder her mother, by stabbing her over 28 times with a butcher knife? That she thinks she saw her watcher get raped and tortured to death. How can you even think for one second that it can be corrected."

I look at Wesley, he looks extremely upset, but instead of making me feel bad, it makes me even more angry, it makes me want to break his fucking neck. All my senses are just screaming at me, it's his fault, he fucked things up. My mind is screaming for me to control it, to not hurt him, but this rage I feel is nothing like I've ever experienced, I can feel my control slipping with every second. Nobody in the room dares to move I guess they can sense there is a slayer about to lose it.

I'm about to pounce on Wesley when I feel it, a drain on my power; I look down and see Willow is holding onto my arm, slowly draining away my power. I watch as my power courses through her, making her eyes that black lifeless color. I don't care, I feel the anger course through me and for a second I wanna hit her and I almost do. When she finishes completely draining my power, she finally lets go of my arm, and looks at me worriedly, "I can't let you be that angry with that much power, it's a dangerous combination... believe me I know."

I take big gulping breaths of air, trying to calm myself down, I'm still angry, still pumped with adrenaline, I just don't have the power to back it up. All of a sudden the door comes crashing in and Faith and Xander come running inside. She looks around and says, "I felt..." She stops herself, we discussed it, I don't wanna tell people about our combined feelings yet. So she settles for asking, "What's going on?" She comes over to me; I can feel how worried she is for me, and her concern is evident to everyone as she asks me, "Is everything ok?"

When I don't answer her, she squats down in front of me, gently slides her hand around my neck, and looks deep into my eyes. She softly says, "Hey...Whatever it is, let it go. It's not worth it. Nothing is worth losing yourself..."

I try to protest, cause she has no idea. She doesn't know what the Council did, she doesn't know that it's because of me. "But...you don't..."

"It doesn't matter. Let it go..."

She stays there, her eyes locked on mine, her hand so gently holding onto the back of my neck. Her thumb is softly swirling around behind my ear; it's all so comforting, she's so comforting. The rest of the anger dissipates as quickly as it came, she must feel it because she jokes, "If you fall apart, who's gonna keep me in line?"

She gives me this really goofy smile and it makes me laugh in spite of myself, in spite of everything. I joke back at her, "Does it always hafta be about you Faith?"

She laughs, "Of course...Who else would it be about? Who else could it be about? I'm the only thing that matters..."

I smile slightly, "I get that now..."

She smiles back, her hand slips down to my shoulder and she says quietly, "Look at Xander..."

I look up at him; I'm a little puzzled. Why does she want me to..."You're fixed!"

Xander answers, "Well, no...I'm not actually a dog so..."

Willow looks at me then at him; she jumps on him and gives him a big hug. Faith backs up to let me get up to hug him too. She's standing away from us, watching us, smiling. But I don't want her to feel like she's not included, so I grabbed her and pulled her into the hug too. I want this hug to go on forever, because I have no idea what's going to happen after. I can't help but wonder what Faith will do when she finds out.