Part 10

You know how you know you should do something, that it’s important but it’s just out of reach, suppressed somewhere in that gray area where matter just doesn’t seem all that plausible or credible?

Well, truth be told, that’s me, completely void of all things relevant. 

I’d forgotten something very pressing and very important and it was about to spring forth and bite me on my ass, I just didn’t realize it yet.

A couple of weeks had passed by and I was oblivious to prior things, things that should have taken precedence over everything else.  I’d forgotten to handle business and now, I was scrambling to keep my life together.

I’d been out jogging, trying to keep in shape and I’d just run up the porch steps, pulled off my muddy sneakers and entered the house.

I was smiling big as I ventured into the kitchen where I heard voices.  I veered around the doorframe and paused, looking at Faith and some unknown girl, who were setting at the counter, talking and I tried to get Faith’s attention, tried to look into her eyes, tried to get a reading if things were okay, because in all honesty, she was a bit pale and pallid. 

She wouldn’t look at me, sure she glanced but she cut her eyes from me and had her body in a closed off position and I remember frowning, furrowing my brow, wondering what in the hell had this bitch done to make her act towards me like this.

And then I heard the why, the reason.  “Hi, I’m Megan Baros.”  I looked up slowly, looking at the girl who was standing before me, her hand held out to shake mine.  I just stood there, what was long forgotten was now plunging to the forefront of my mind like a bullet.  I looked over at Faith, who finally looked at me and there was nothing there:  Her face was blank, her eyes steeled.

I came back to my senses, hearing bits of pieces of what the girl was saying, had obviously been saying… stuff like. “I didn’t like it here, didn’t belong, couldn’t get along, didn’t want to be around someone with her background, backwoods…” 

I looked at the girl, my face becoming a mask of indifference.  “Shut up.”  I ground out between gritted teeth and pushed my way past her.

“Faith.”  I whispered, half smiling, trying to get her to acknowledge me.

She turned from me, pulled her arm from my grasp and my mind went blank.  I watched as she moved away from me, stretching the distance between us, making the wedge deeper, wider and harder to bridge.

Faith’s voice cut through the jumbled feelings and brought me back to here and now.  “So why have you been assigned to me?”  Faith asked, looking directly at Megan.

Megan smiled, way too jovially.  “Well the last slayer died, leaving you unprotected and Buffy didn’t want to be here but agreed to come just until another candidate could be found, and I wanted to come… so I was chosen.”  Megan smiled again, bouncing on her heels.

Faith laughed and caused us both to look at her curiously.  She pulled in a deep breath, explaining.  “Jesus… the last slayer was like eighty.  She died of old age.”  Faith laughed a bit more and finally looked to me.  “How many times have you slayed since you’ve been here?”

That question caught me off guard.  I looked at her hard, thinking back and you know what, my mouth kinda just hung open, suspended in midair, as I realized that I’d not slayed one time, hadn’t even seen a baddie.

I looked at Faith, who arched a brow, waiting for a response.  She shook her head at Megan and me.  “There are no demons here, at least there haven’t been so far.  That’s why I chose to raise a family here.”

Faith scoffed and half smiled as she faced Megan.  “You’re welcome to stay, I’ll spar and teach you what I know but if you’re wanting to slay on a daily basis… you’ll just dry up here.”  Faith turned and walked away, leaving Megan and me behind.  I watched her fade from view, my only thought being that she’d invited Megan to stay… so where did that leave me.

I looked to Megan, whose face had fallen, her hopes squashed at fighting evil.  I knew what she’d be fighting if she stayed here, chickens and goats… oh and lizards.

I watched quietly as Megan called Kennedy, complaining and truthfully, after I got my shot at Ken… things were beginning to add up.  See Kennedy was playing matchmaker all along.  She knew that there was nothing here to fight.  She just thought we, meaning Faith and me might need each other and I guess, no, I know, she was right… I just didn’t realize how much I needed them.  Now I just had to make Faith understand that she needed me just as badly.

I walked into the other room, looking for Faith and eventually followed the noise outside to where Faith and the kids were sitting in a swing. 

She ignored me and stopped me in my tracks.  “Don’t.  I don’t want to hear it.  Just go.”  She stated lowly, void of emotion.

“Faith.”  I stated lowly, adding.  “Please, just hear me out.”

“What for?”  Faith asked, standing up and walking past me and into the house.

My anger got the better of me and I stomped into the house after her, determined to make her listen to me, determined to get back on good terms… hell… to make her quit acting so damned girlie.  I mean who the hell would’ve thought she’d be all sensitive and … pink?

“Faith.”  I called out louder than I’d intended.  I heard someone behind me and turned, still angry and faced Megan who was standing there beside a bunch of bags, packed and ready to go:  Both mine and hers.

My anger got the better of me and I walked over, snatched up the bags and walked to the car with Megan following slowly behind me. 

I squealed the tires as we plummeted out of the drive way and onto the road, my anger only growing with each passing second. 

Suddenly I slammed on the brakes, screeching the car to a halt in the middle of the road.  I just sat there, thinking, running through my entire life but most importantly I thought about what I wanted out of life and right then and there, I made a decision, took control of my life, there would be no more running, no more beating around the bush, no, this was the new improved Buffy Summers… I wanted, I’d take and I’d have, no if’s, and’s or but’s and I would not accept defeat, no matter how loud I had to yell, no matter what I had to do.  Like it or not, they’d become my family and come hell or high water, I would not lose them, any of them.

I stomped on the accelerator and turned the car on the dime, and caught a wheel as the tires caught up to the speed of the engine.  I barreled back home, my passenger completely forgotten and slightly scared.

I sped the entire way home, and pulled up to the front steps, got out of the car and walked intently to the front door, opened it and stepped inside to utter chaos.

I hesitated at the doorway, watching as a naked, bubbly covered Amanda ran squealing through the house, being chased by Faith, who was barely holding up a towel trying to cover herself, also covered in bubbles and holding an equally naked baby, who was completely encased in suds. 

Amanda streaked by again and Faith continued her chase, trying to get the wet, slippery child back into the bath.

“Faith.”  I stated, stopping her in her tracks. 

She froze, gripping at her towel, David her in her arms, his back pressed against her body.

I stepped closer, looking directly at her.  It was now or never and I chose now.

“I’m not leaving.  You’re not getting rid of me.  I know I was a complete ass when I first got here, but that changed, we changed.  Right?”  I stepped closer, continuing.  “I wanted to leave when I first got here, but not later, certainly not now, not ever.”

I gauged her for a reaction and was faced with nothing.  She’d closed herself off to me and my heart sank and I panicked slightly.

I stepped forward, slightly angry and extremely scared.  “What’s wrong with you?”  I yelled, adding.  “Are you blind?  Seriously, Are you so blind that you can’t see something so obviously staring you in the face?  Or are you just too chicken shit to act on it?”

Those last words got her attention and she looked directly into my eyes.  Now was my chance and I inched closer.  “Can’t you see… that I’m completely, utterly, madly in love with you… with all of you?”  My voice trailed off, it’s raspy sound lingering around us.

Intensity hung in the air, thick enough to cut with a knife and then the unimaginable happened.  David decided to pee and yes, it arched outward and hit me right across the chest, streaking up my shirt, I pulled in a deep breath, about to let loose a string of cuss words but stopped short when I noticed that Faith was smiling at me.  I smiled back and then we both burst out laughing.

She reached over and tucked a strand of unruly hair behind my ear, her hand lingering there momentarily and she whispered.  “I love you too.”

I smiled and watched as she turned from me, grabbed up Amanda and walked them back to the awaiting bath.  I started to follow but stopped when I heard a throat clear behind me.  I turned and looked at Megan. 

“You guys are nuts.”  She stated.

I smiled, adding.  “You better believe it.”

I walked to the bathroom and peered inside, watching as they played in the bubbles and splashed the water, each of them smiling and laughing.

I leaned against the doorframe, smiling, well until I couldn’t control myself any longer.  I walked over to the tub and pulled Faith to me for a long overdue kiss. 

She pulled and tugged me into the water with them, clothes and all and I pushed myself to the surface, completely covered in suds and laughed, grabbing my kids, that’s right, mine and splashing them with water and love.

As I watch them now, playing, laughing and just being together, I realize how lost I’d been my entire life and how one little thing could change the course of my future.

My future:  I had one now.  I’d found my place, my niche in life.  I was home.

And home was good.