PART ELEVEN: Breakdown...
“Ok let me get this straight,” Buffy said running her hand though her hair, stressed. “You both can talk to each other through your minds? This is nuts!” The blonde slayer yelled, a little frustrated. The younger slayer looked at her hurt, but the look went by unnoticed. Xander, Anya, Willow, Fred, Kennedy, Buffy, Christine, and Faith were in the living room talking. All the other potentials were outside practicing.
Both Buffy and Kennedy stayed far away from the two girls and it didn’t go by un noticed either. Fred looked at everyone feeling uncomfortable.
“Well, it all seems to make sense. Christine is no slayer. She doesn’t have the strength you two have. But both Faith and Christine share their body essences. This makes them be able to communicate with each other,” the shy brunette stated.
“Almost like they are one person...” Willow pondered.
“Sort of,” Fred answered.
“Great,” Kennedy spat. Christine looked at her but Kennedy wouldn’t meet her eyes. Faith nudged Christine.
< It’s ok Chris. She just doesn’t understand... > the brunette told her, trying to comfort her. Christine looked at her sadly and looked at Buffy across the room.
< Buffy’s almost no better, > the potential told Faith, looking at the ground. Both girls sighed and everyone looked at them.
“What?” They both said at the same time. Christine saw Kennedy roll her eyes and she suddenly became angry. The dirty blonde potential got up abruptly and Faith caught her arm.
< Chris, don’t... > Faith started but Christine yanked her arm away from the dark slayer.
“Look! I never asked for any of this crap!” Christine yelled grabbing everyone’s attention. Everyone looked at her. “I don’t know what’s going on either...you don’t understand...I never asked to be part of this prophecy! I’m sorry that none of you understand what’s going on but that doesn’t give you a reason to treat Faith and I like...” Christine was saying looking directly at Kennedy. She stopped and looked around the room. She then looked at Willow, close to tears, begging with her eyes that she do something.
The redhead sat up. “Look, I thought about this whole thing. Christine is right. Neither she nor Faith asked to be part of this prophecy. The way I see it...the more we have against The First the better. We’ve got a chance in this,” Willow was saying looking around the room. Fred stood up backing the redhead up.
“Willow is right. I know I don’t personally know all of you but I can see great power in all of you. I am more familiar with prophecy’s and things and that’s why I know so much...it’s not like I am a nerd or anything though,” the shy brunette stated looking down. Willow grabbed her hand.
“No one said that...” the Wicca said, causing Fred to looked at her.
“I know but I was trying to prove a point,” Fred explained looking back up at everyone. “We are all chosen to do certain things...to live certain lives...sometimes, things happen that we can’t control or explain. People often don’t like or even fear what they don’t understand. What’s happening to Faith and Christine doesn’t make them different then who they already were.”
Everyone looked around the room and Christine sat back down, never once looking at Kennedy. Everyone knew that Fred was right.
“Why do we have to talk about this in general when it’s really directed towards Buffy and Kennedy?” Anya all of a sudden said out loud. Everyone looked at her.
“What?” Anya asked.
“An...” Xander started. Anya looked at him.
“Well it’s true. They are both mad at Faith and Christine. Kennedy’s jealous and upset wishing Faith was her and Buffy’s upset for she feels responsible for Faith and doesn’t like the idea of Christine and Faith being ‘one’, or whatever, for she has no control over what may happen to Faith,” Anya stated. Buffy’s face practically went green and Kennedy looked at the floor.
“Faith and Christine don’t bother me. I like them. I don’t have a problem and I understand that they are part of a prophecy. I’ve had my share. But it’s a waste of time to be sitting in here talking like this when they can be talking on their own...” Anya was saying as if it was common sense.
Christine sighed. “Anya is right. We all know it...” the potential stated.
“Christine...” Kennedy said gently stepping forward towards the other girl, who stepped back hurt.
“Kennedy, don’t.” Christine stated not looking at her. The other potential stopped and looked at the ground feeling ashamed. Christine looked around the room. She needed to take charge and stop all of this negative thinking. She stepped in the middle of the room and looked at Buffy.
“Buffy, I am not trying to take your place. No one can ever take your place. I know that you wish you could be there for Faith. I am sorry that this prophecy is bothering you. I understand how you must feel. Trust me, Faith and I never knew this kind of thing would happen with us. I am Faith’s friend, not some one special like you,” Christine told Buffy, lightly smiling. The older slayer smiled at the potential understanding what she was saying and respecting her more and more.
“And trust me, this is no gift that Faith and I have. If anything...I think Faith and I are sick of each other,” Christine stated, laughing a little, trying to lighten the mood. Everyone smiled.
“Hey!” Faith protested.
“Look,” Christine said looking at everyone else in the room, “We are all stressed and nervous; we’ve got every reason to be. Faith and I will do what we can but we are going to need all of your help. Each one of us plays an important roll.” Christine explained. The potential then looked back at Buffy.
“I respect you a lot Buffy. The life you have lived must have been hard. And there is nothing you should worry about with me and Faith. All this is for the prophecy. I know you are concerned...who wouldn’t be if anyone was in your position,” Christine stated not wanting to revel to everyone about Faith and Buffy, even though everyone already kind of knew. The older slayer blushed a little. “And I promise you that I will personally make sure that your girl comes out ok. Ok?” Christine said smiling. Buffy smiled at her and unexpectedly gave the potential a hug.
“Hey! I am perfectly fine caring for my self you know,” Faith protested. Everyone chuckled but they got what Christine meant.
“Thank you,” Buffy whispered in the potential’s ear and Christine nodded. The older slayer felt so much better. She had always felt responsible for Faith. And with Buffy not playing a main roll in the prophecy for once, she was uneasy. There was no way she could help the younger slayer and it bothered her. But she now knew to let it go. She loved Faith and she had to learn to let some things go.
Christine stepped back into the middle of the room as Buffy looked at Faith. So much was said to each other in just one look. That was another thing the blonde liked about the younger slayer. They didn’t even have to even speak at sometimes. They just... knew. Both girls smiled at each other.
“This prophecy isn’t just about Faith and I. You all are part of it. Ok? Everyone should know that. Now, let’s get back to work...” Christine stated, looking at Buffy and backing away giving the older slayer the floor to speak. Willow looked at Christine with so much respect. Again she was amazed at this 19 year-old girl who has done so much. Buffy smiled at the potential and stood up.
“Ok, Willow and Fred, why don’t you double check on your list on what you need and as soon as you know what you need, give it to Christine to get the supplies. I’m going to need Faith’s help with the training later. For now? Xander? Back to weapons. Kennedy? You’re with me. Faith and Christine? Back to training. Anya? I need you back with Xander. Willow? Keep up with the information. We might be going in tonight for that scythe,” Buffy stated. Everyone nodded understanding what was going on.
“Ok then, let’s go,” Buffy dismissed as everyone got up.
< You ok? > Faith asked Christine worried but impressed at what she had the balls to do. The potential gave Faith a smile and nodded.
< Ok, just making sure, you know > the brunette said getting up.
< Yes, bad ass Faith, I understand. > Christine told her getting up also. Faith laughed, following Buffy. Christine looked at Willow and Fred and smiled. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and turned to follow everyone else outside.
Kennedy was waiting for her. “Christine I am sorry...I just...” the brunette potential was saying but Christine interrupted her.
“Kennedy, it’s ok. I understand the way you feel but you need to let it go. You were hurting me...” Christine said looking down. Kennedy’s heart broke and she lifted the other girl’s chin and looked into her eyes.
“I’m not perfect. And you have showed so much courage. I don’t deserve you. I can’t help feeling a little bit jealous...and knowing I can’t be there to watch your back...it’s just difficult, for I want to spend all my time with you and I can’t. I’m sorry,” Kennedy explained trying to reach the girl she felt so strongly for. Christine smiled sadly at the brunette.
“Kennedy...I l-love you...but...if...if you are so worried about losing me...maybe...maybe we shouldn’t be together...” Christine forced herself to say. She knew it wasn’t fair to keep Kennedy like this when she knew how things were going to come out in the end. Kennedy looked at her for a second before looking heart broken.
“Wh-What are you saying?” the brunette asked, almost shaking. It broke Christine’s heart. But she had been thinking and she cared for Kennedy too much to do this to her...to string her along when she knew that she wouldn’t make it out of this war alive. And she hated lying to her...she hated herself for doing this...but this was better...even though it was breaking Christine’s heart. She couldn’t look Kennedy in the eye.
“Christine...I I don’t understand...why? Is it me?” Kennedy asked tears spilling from her eyes. Christine was quite for a second. “Wh-why won’t you look at me?” the brunette potential asked. Christine was afraid she would start crying if she looked at her. Christine looked up at Kennedy trying to muster up her courage and strength.
“Kennedy...it...it isn’t you. I care about you...” Christine was saying.
“Then why are you doing this?” Kennedy pleaded not being able to stop the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. Christine reached out to wipe away her tears but Kennedy stepped back.
“I know you feel what I feel...I feel it when we kiss,” Kennedy stated, looking at the other potential. Christine had to look away.
“Kennedy...” she started. The brunette potential violently wiped at her tears, mad at her self for crying. And started stepping backwards. Kennedy just didn’t understand and her heart was breaking in two. She looked at Christine, wondering where this was all coming from. She knew that Christine felt the same way she did...she could feel it. Why was she doing this? It had to be Kennedy herself...that was all that the brunette potential could come up with.
Christine stepped forward wanting to comfort the girl she had fallen in love with. “D-Don’t touch me!” Kennedy yelled, backing away from Christine. Tears threatened to spill from Christine’s eyes...but she had to do it...”Just don’t touch me,” Kennedy whispered before turning on her heel and sprinting back into the house. No one saw the tear that ran down Christine’s face as she watched her go. Christine’s heart was broken. But she had a job to do...a duty to fulfill. With that knowledge, the potential lifted her head, wiping the tear from her face, and turned around to prepare for this war.
Outside...
Faith was waiting for Christine and saw her coming. The brunette slayer was talking to Buffy and they were laughing about something Faith said. The younger slayer then turned her attention towards Christine. “Spending some quality kiss time with your girl?” Faith asked chuckling. Buffy smiled next to her. But Christine’s face was emotionless. She had years of practice to hide her feelings. It was what she was...what she was trained to do.
“Yeah, where is Kennedy?” Buffy asked as Christine finally got to them.
“I don’t think Kennedy will be coming out Buffy. She had to do something...are you ready Faith,” the potential asked quickly to change the subject. Faith frowned. Something was wrong.
“What do you mean she’s not coming out?” Buffy asked. Christine sighed. Why did Buffy have to ask? Why couldn’t she just let it go?
“I think she is talking to Willow.” Christine lied. The blonde slayer looked at her weird.
“Why?” Buffy asked. Faith, who was observing the whole thing, was about to speak up for she knew Christine pretty well, and something happened between her and Kennedy. She just knew it. But Kennedy chose that moment to show up.
“Hey Buffy, sorry about that. Got held up,” Kennedy said approaching. Faith could tell that the brunette potential had been crying. Maybe it was harder for others to see but Faith knew...for she had tried to hide her tears many times. Something definitely happened. The brunette slayer also noticed how Kennedy ignored and wouldn’t look at Christine.
Christine stood there regretting what she did. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to do that to Kennedy. It wasn’t good to have her upset during this important war...then again...it was better. No, Christine had to do it. It was for the best. The potential convinced herself of that. That was her one weakness. Christine let her feelings get in the way. But she never cared about herself. She always cared about others more. So it didn’t matter if Christine was going to miserable...she just wanted things bearable for Kennedy.
“No prob, let’s get going,” Buffy said looking at Faith. Kennedy turned and followed the older slayer to the other side of the yard. Christine was on overload.
< What happened? > Faith asked. Christine turned, walking to where they would be training.
< Nothing, > she stated coming to a stop. Faith stopped and stood in front of her. Christine was lying.
< It’s not good to hold things in Chris...I’m a good example, > Faith tried to joke. Christine just looked at her emotionless.
< That’s not funny Faith. Quit using yourself as a joke for you’re not...now let’s start, > the potential said, getting into a fighting stance. The brunette slayer crossed her arms.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Faith said out loud to her. Christine put her fists down looking at the brunette.
“Faith, we don’t have time for this,” Christine said starting to have her emotions get the best of her. Faith knew this behavior. Christine wasn’t too different from herself.
Buffy glanced at Faith and Christine as she was going to various groups of potentials. The two seemed to be talking and something was wrong, Buffy knew it. The blonde slayer looked at Kennedy, who was focused on her group...too focused.
“Of course we do,” Faith stated. Christine turned around to leave; she wasn’t going to have this conversation.
< You are so stubborn! > Faith said, grabbing the potential’s arm. Christine yanked her arm out of Faith’s hand.
< Don’t talk to me like you know me. > Christine said very angrily. Faith looked at her a little shocked. What was that suppose to mean?
< I do know you Christine! You have been hiding something and now something is wrong! Just tell me! > Faith yelled. Christine was pushed to her limit and tried to deliver a right cross. Faith dodged it and went for a leg sweep that Christine jumped.
“That’s it Christine, Let it all out,” Faith said as the potential delivered a roundhouse kick towards her head. The brunette slayer ducked. It was like fighting with Buffy. They matched each others moves perfectly. But Faith held back. Christine was hurting and was letting her emotions control her.
Buffy stopped what she was doing as she saw Faith and Christine spar. In fact everyone stopped and watched. It was rather...well...amazing. Kennedy even watched. The older slayer wondered what was happening. This wasn’t just sparing.
“That’s it Christine! Let it out!” Faith said dodging another punch. The brunette slayer then grabbed her arm and Christine threw her momentum upward and delivered a kick that connected with Faith’s head. Ouch, was the thought that ran through the brunette’s mind. But it wasn’t a slayer kick.
“Don’t want to talk? Fine, just take it out on me!” Faith yelled
“SHUT UP!” the potential yelled as she kicked Faith’s legs out from under her.
Buffy looked over at Kennedy who looked back at her. Faith and Christine were like a blur. The brunette slayer jumped up and delivered a high kick then a roundhouse that Christine dodged then did back to Faith, copying her move for move.
Faith then noticed the tear marks down Christine’s face. The potential wasn’t even fighting with her mind...she was out of control...and doing a pretty good job. She had good moves but was no slayer and didn’t have the speed that the brunette had. Faith now knew that they were both in sync with each other...no need worrying about that.
Soon, Christine just stopped and looked at the ground. She couldn’t help it and was ashamed of how she acted...and in front of everyone. She felt everyone’s eyes on her but didn’t dare turn. She was breathing heavily and could hear Faith breathing hard too. She then lifted her head up looking at the brunette slayer with tears running down her face. She was in pain. How did Faith and Buffy live like this? Faith looked into Christine’s eyes and stood up out of her fighting stance.
The potential then finally started to sob, letting it all out and started to collapse. Faith grabbed her and held her close as she cried.
“It’s ok...I got ya...shhhh,” Faith soothed looking over at Buffy worried. The older slayer looked back at her.
“It must be hard,” stated Rona, who was in Kennedy’s group. Buffy looked at her and Rona looked back. “To have to bare such a burden...she must feel so alone,” Rona stated. Sympathetic nods were delivered and the blonde slayer looked at Kennedy, who dropped her head and looked at the ground avoiding Buffy’s eyes.
All of the potentials went back to what they were doing, understanding that Christine needed a moment and didn’t need an audience. Kennedy couldn’t look at the other potential. She knew the girl was in a lot of pain and was probably upset because of her.
Buffy watched Kennedy as she turned around, not even glancing at Christine, and went back to her group. The older slayer knew that she should go back to her group as well and should let Faith take care of Christine. The blonde slayer looked over at the two and Faith gave her a nod, indicating that she had it under control. Buffy took one final last look at Christine before going back to her group. She knew the feeling of carrying a burden like that. But the older slayer didn’t understand all of it. She didn’t know that the potential was going to die when they went to war.
Christine let Faith hold her as she cried. Soon she calmed down. “You want to talk about it?” the brunette slayer asked, not going to push her. The potential shook her head no. Faith understood. “Just a bad fall out with Kennedy? Is that it? You don’t have to tell me, I just want to make sure you’re ok,” Faith explained as she pulled back looking at Christine.
Christine was quite for a second. “Yeah...I love her...but we...I broke up with her,” Christine stated, looking up at Faith. The potential then grew angry at herself. She, the person who was always strong, broke down in front of everyone. And she also said that she was ready. That she was going to do this and was ready. But was she really? And she couldn’t talk to anyone about it...
Faith noticed the inner battle with in Christine. “Why? Why did you break up with her?” the brunette asked. Christine looked at her and shook her head. “Ok, let’s not talk about it. Why don’t we go inside? I think you need a break.” Faith said helping the potential up. Christine nodded and made her way, with Faith, inside of the house.
Faith and Christine walked into the kitchen. “You ok?” the brunette slayer asked again. Christine looked at her.
“Yeah. Sorry about that,” the potential apologized. The brunette shook her head.
“There is nothing to apologize for. After you hold everything in, it has to come out one way or another. Don’t feel bad or ashamed. You are only human ok? You can only do so much,” Faith explained. Christine smiled.
“Thank you,” the potential stated. The brunette smiled. “No problem, besides, you had some wicked moves girl. You’re going to make one hell of a slayer,” Faith stated. Christine smiled feeling much better.
“I just don’t want to let anyone down. And I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself,” Christine stated looking at the brunette.
“Naw, I don’t think so. Hey, why don’t we see if Willow and Fred have that list,” Faith suggested. Christine smiled and they both made their way to where Fred and Willow were.
