"...Soul boy always comes through," Faith had said to Ronald, explaining who Angel was and why he meant so much to us.

Ronald had been released from the hospital late afternoon.

He had a bruised rib and a nasty black eye, but nothing serious or life threatening. His shogun soul mate had made an appearance, and he had kicked a little demon ass. He was proud of himself.

"Girl, I gotta tell you. The last time I felt like this was in Palm Beach, with hundreds of sweaty, half naked men and a bottle of poppers up my nose. This was positively euphoric!"

"Um...yes...well, Ronald, I'm sure that's a valid comparison, but you really should feel quite proud. You handled yourself as a true warrior would," Giles says, a little embarrassed by the gay talk.

"Oh, Professor Higgins, I know. Nothing like a little slaying to get one's blood up, wouldn't you say?" he teases Giles with a mock English accent.

"Or something up," Xander jokes, relieved he's not the only one receiving Ronald's teasing.

Ronald looks at him and smiles.

"I didn't think you noticed. How terribly smashing of you," he winks, teasing them both at the same time.

He notes the look on Xander's face. Xander looks like he regrets having drawn attention to himself. He shifts his arm uncomfortably in his sling.

"And however gallant you were in coming to my rescue, I regret to inform you that our love affair is over. I've moved on to someone else...but we'll always have Paris," Ronald adds wistfully, pretending Xander's facial expression is grief.

"You mean the Hellmouth," Faith corrects.

"Have you been to Paris lately? It is a Hellmouth," he quips.

Giles looks rather uncomfortable, thinking perhaps his affections have moved on to him.

"Um...well, yes, Ronald...I..." Giles attempts to form a sentence.

Ronald laughs.

"I don't mean you, sweet cheeks...or would you prefer sweet breads?"

"Um, neither, actually," Giles says, red in the face.

Angel comes in and says:

"You ready to go, Ronald? The limo's here. I had Cordy set up a room for you."

"I meant him," says Ronald with a wicked grin.

We all turn around and look at Angel, smiling.

"What? Did I miss something?" Angel asks, mouth open and confused. He looks over at Ronald.

"I'll explain it all to you on the slow drive back. Don't want to break any speed limits, you know."

Angel shrugs, "Whatever you say, partner," And then he smiles.

As Ronald says his goodbyes to everyone, I see Faith take Angel aside to speak to him in a low voice.

"Sorry for bein' such an asshole, Angel. You know I didn't mean anything by it. I really appreciate you comin' out here to help me, and for takin' care of my...um...well...I mean, your girl," she stammers.

Angel looks her in the eyes, and takes her into his arms for a big hug.

"You're both my girls, Faith. But as far as the other thing goes, she's not my girl anymore. She's yours."

I see her hug him tight, and then he laughs with a wince.

"Uh, that was a good thing I said, Faith. I'm glad I didn't say anything that could be misconstrued!"

She pulls back wiping a tear from her eye, laughing.

"Shut up," she says.

"No, you shut up."

"No, you shut up."

"I know you should, but what should I?"

"YOU SHOULD REALLY SHUT UP, ANGEL!" she shouts at him.

And as they fall out laughing, I find myself falling in love with the both of them...

All

Over

Again.

FAITH'S POV:

My baby's back and I couldn't feel better.

Which is sayin' a lot, considering.

After a few tearful apologies and explanations we decided to drop it.

We didn't want to have another potential eclipse on our hands.

A few days later Willow, Tara, and Xander came over to watch the videotape of the party...Buffy and I were sparring in the same room.

" 'Sex dwarf...isn't it nice, luring disco dollies to a life of vice', " Xander sings pointing to the screen, "Look at that red hot mama go! Where the hell was I for some of that action?" he grins broadly.

"Oh...oh my goddess. Xander, t-turn it off," Tara stammers, "N-now!"

As I go to look over, a vicious upper cut nails me hard in the jaw.

I go flyin' across the room, my ass slidin' across the floor as I hit it, sending me full force into the couch that the gang is sitting on.

"Uh-oh," Xander says as he and the girls lift their legs. My head comes crashing with a bang into the sofa by their feet.

I look up and blink...

All three faces are lookin' down at me, they all still have their hands clasped around their knees to keep their feet off the floor.

Like I'm a fuckin' vacuum cleaner or something.

Xander makes an 'oops' face at me, "Sorry, slick. Didn't know it was you," he grins.

I look at Red and Tara, but their eyes are back on the screen. So is Xander's.

Oh fuck.

I stay on the floor, with my head in a weird angle, and look up at the screen.

Oh fuck fuck fuck.

Super-sized sexy Sapphic Slayer in slow motion.

How'd that happen?

"And this, boy and girls, is what happens to you when you mix your drinks and don't know what else is in them," Buffy says, like she's instructing a class.

She has a remote control in her hand.

"Notice the non poise and non elegance of each movement. Here is when our subject appears to be fondling the boyfriend of the young couple, but oh, look, she shoves him backwards and spins non-gracefully to grab the girlfriend by the neck instead. See how she teases the girl and then non-gracefully spins her back into her boyfriend, throwing her head back and laughing like a maniacal mad woman?"

Xander and the girls giggle. Great.

"Oh look. And here is when she appears to be screaming for another drink --as if she really needs one-- and three helpful by-standers rush in to be of assistance. Tequila shooter? Oh yes, see her lick the boy's neck for salt. And then she bites him in gratitude. Very nice. Next, a very close call of an umbrella being crammed up her nose, but she avoids it at the last minute. Notice the grimace on her face? Mmmm, must be tasty. And then finally a bottle of Corona with a lime stuck in the opening. But not for long, boy and girls, because watch how our subject skillfully sucks the wedge with her tongue, and then chews on it before cramming it into the mouth of the unsuspecting boy."

She freezes the frame showing my tongue coming back out of the boy's mouth. And then zooms in.

It's really disgusting.

"Any questions so far?"

They all grin and shake their heads.

"Good, then let us continue," And I groan from the floor.

Everyone laughs.

"Okay this next part is my favorite, and I'm sure to be yours too. Pads and pencils ready?" she asks.

All three heads nod vigorously.

"Good, so take note. I'm going to do this a little differently from before. I'm going to play this at normal speed and then I'll rewind to pick up the finer points. We don't want to miss anything."

"This is fun," Willow says, forgettin' I'm just inches from her ankles. I lean over and bite one to remind her.

"Oow. Sorry Faith, but it is."

Tara grins as if to back her up.

I don't remember the evening very well, just bits and pieces and what people have told me. So this is new to me too.

It's 'Must see TV. If you haven't seen it before, then it's new to you.'

Yeah, this is probably something Monica and Phoebe would do to Joey.

Cus there's no doubt in my mind that I'm the Joey in this group of friends.

Buffy hits play and the music comes out blaring at regular speed.

Ah god, its Buffy's song for me.

Buffy refrains from commenting, as the whole sordid misunderstanding plays itself out on the screen.

It's pretty brutal.

I'm yellin' for Buffy, but I'm callin' her baby, and then two hands snake around my waist.

It shows me grab onto them and then run them all over my body, stoppin', of course, to stick our hands between my legs. She zooms in quickly and you can actually see the girl rubbin' my pussy underneath my hand.

Fuckin' technology.

"Oh boy," Xander says, squirming in his seat. I can't tell if he's turned on, or afraid of where this was leading.

Hey, I'm in the dark here too. She zooms back out while I take the girls hands and run them through my hair, spinning around to kiss her.

She zooms in again as I tongue the girl up, my jaw movin' and my tongue licking her lower lip.

I know I shouldn't think this, but DAMN I look good kissing someone.

I'd do me.

Aha! Look, you can see my eyes squint shut as the lip piercing snags me. I'm about to say something, but then I catch myself. I already feel like I'm on trial, so why would I incriminate myself by saying I knew something was different?

If I knew something was different, then why did I keep going? Why didn't I stop to look?

Shut up, Faith.

She zooms in closer as the screen shows me whisper something in the girl's ear. Thankfully no audio was heard on that, the music being too loud. I can just imagine what I said. All I remember is my wantin' to fuck Buffy's brains out.

And I would have too, if it had been her.

Ah god.

Now part of me is gettin' horny.

The pussy part. My clit is throbbing.

She zooms back out as the girl drags me off the dance floor, shovin' people to get out of our way. Then it looks like I turn back to wave at the camera before rushing off the frame.

I waved to the camera? That looks incriminating.

I hadn't realized I was holdin' my breath until I heard the sound of my exhale. Then I heard three similar exhales from above me.

No one's giggling or smiling now.

I think they think I'm in for world of shit.

"You know what, guys? That concludes our lesson for today. I've changed my mind about the slow-mo part."

Buffy flips off the TV and the screen goes blank, "Remember that evil lurks in unknown drinks...and don't forget to floss."

Everyone rises off the couch, and I grab Red by her ankle.

She looks down at me. But just literally, I hope.

"Hey, Red. I thought you fixed those cameras to move every thirty seconds. How come they stayed on me the whole time?"

"It didn't take. I only got the two cameras to work, the others shut down completely. One was pointed to the middle of the dance floor, and the other one leaving the dance floor. Hence, it was all you."

Yeah, I should've figured.

Her spells sometimes work that way too.

I get up off of the floor and I'm alone.

Red and T went off into their bedroom, and Xander went out the front door, mumblin' something about needin' a girlfriend.

I have no idea where B went.

I go over to where the videotape is, and I take it out. I pull the tape from its reel, winding it around my hand, then I snap it off. I toss it in the trash.

We've all seen it, no need to keep it as a family favorite.

The condo is quiet, except for the soft whirring sound coming from the central air unit.

The Wiccas are quiet in their room.

I head up the stairs, and Buffy is sitting at the vanity brushin' her hair. We had gotten the rest of our furniture so everything was in place.

She looks at me in the mirror as I approach.

"You mad at me?" I ask quietly.

"Not really."

Oh?

"You sure?" I ask, slowly approaching her...but ready to back the fuck up if she changes her mind.

"Pretty much," she says, continuing to brush her hair and lookin' at me in the mirror.

"Ya know B, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but hearin' that song made me kinda horny."

"Oh really? Just the song?" Still brushing and lookin'.

"Pretty much," I say and I walk up behind her. It seems safe, so I take the brush from her hand and start doin' it for her.

"Faith?" she asks, now just lookin' at me.

"Yeah, baby?"

"What did you whisper in that girl's ear?"

Uh-oh. It's not safe...but I continue to brush her hair anyway.

"Um, well, remember I thought it was you that I was talkin' to, okay?"

"I will."

"Uh, okay. Well, I think I said something about wantin' to fuck you on the floor," I'm not lookin' at her reflection; suddenly her hair and the brush have all my attention.

"Look at me," she says.

I look in the mirror.

"Show me," she says.

I hold up the brush.

"You really are a retard, Faith. I mean show me how you were going to fuck me on the floor."

Aaaaaaaah. My baby is HORNY for me...my real baby.

"I don't know, sailor. Buy me a drink first," I say coyly.

She turns around and tackles me to the floor.

"Oh, no...no more drinks for you," she says, tickling my sides and makin' me laugh.

Our giggling soon turned into moaning. She really was horny for me. I try to put myself back in the mood I had when I thought it was her I was gonna fuck. It wasn't hard to do, since the video pretty much brought it all back.

I was feeling raunchy and randy, and just plain fuckin' nasty.

"You want me to fuck you?" I say roughly.

"Yeah," she says underneath me.

"You better say 'yeah', cus you got no choice in the matter," I reach over and pull down her zipper.

"Where should I fuck you first? In your pussy or your ass?" I tug at her pants.

"You decide," she says, lifting up her hips. I slide her pants down.

"Good answer, cus you got no choice in the matter," I reply, lifting off her shirt.

"With what should I fuck you with first? My mouth or my fingers?" I take off her bra.

"You decide," she gasps as I take a nipple in my mouth.

"Good answer. Cus you got no choice in the matter." I pull down my pants and struggle out of them.

"Close your eyes," I tell her, and she does. I suck quickly on her other nipple and then stand up to take the rest of my clothes off.

"Keep 'em closed," I say sternly.

I walk over to the nightstand and open up a drawer. She can hear what I'm doin' and she makes a small noise.

"You know, don't you baby? You know what I got for you."

"Yeah," she breathes, eyes shut tight.

"What? What do I have for you?"

"Godzilla."

"That's right baby, and I'm gonna fuck you with it. You're gonna fuck me with it." She lets out a whimper.

She looks so sexy, all naked and submissive on the floor.

I kneel down between her legs and she spreads them wider.

"Open your eyes, baby. Look at what Faith brought you."

She opens her eye,s and her pupils practically dilate. It is pretty massive.

But she'd only be takin' half of it, cus the other half will be inside me.

Godzilla is our black twelve-inch double-headed dildo.

He's a monster for sure, but we didn't want a snake reference, for obvious reasons, like graduation for one, so we decided on Godzilla. It got the job done.

"You want I should fuck you with this instead?" I ask, knowing the answer.

She whimpers.

"No? I'll just go put it away then," And I go to stand up.

She grabs my arm.

"Yes," she whispers.

"I'm sorry, baby. I still can't hear you. Did you say no?"

"I said yes."

"Good, cus I was gonna anyway," I push her breasts together and slide the thing in between. I slide it up towards her neck and say:

"Suck on it, baby. Make it wet for me," And she lowers her head to catch the tip in her mouth.

Fuck!

I keep slidin' the thing up between her breasts and she takes it. She doesn't deep throat as well as I do, and frankly, it's a fact I'm happy with, but she does a decent job. She's got about five inches in her mouth.

"You keep that up, baby. I'll tell you when to stop."

I put her hands in place of mine so she can hold her breasts together. I kiss her with the cock in her mouth. I run my tongue over her lips and the part of the dick that's stickin' out from it. I flip over into a 69 position, straddling her waist, and I lower my head to lick her pussy.

She's already wet.

I run my tongue up and down her slit and then tongue her hard...her pussy tastes so good. I feel her run a finger up my pussy, dipping in a little then back out again.

She plays with my clit.

I pull my head up and say, "Take it out, suck my pussy."

She puts her hands on my hips and pulls me back, I move until I can feel her hot breath on my pussy. She flicks her tongue out, catchin' my clit. I lower myself until I'm square on her face and she licks me. I can feel the dick lying in between us.

She moans against my clit and it jumps.

We lick and suck each other, and then I break our contact, turning back around to look at her.

"I'm gonna fuck you real good, baby. You want that?" I kiss her hard.

I feel her grab the dick and slide it downward, it bumps against my pussy.

"Wanna fuck me with it?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Oh fuck, yes," she breathes.

"Go to it, then," And she goes to sit up but I won't let her, "No, I've changed my mind. You get to wait."

"I don't want to wait," she complains.

"Too bad, cus you got no choice in the matter."

I grab the lube and put some in my hand, and then rub it in hers.

"Stroke it," I nudge her hand to the dick.

She grabs it and starts spreadin' the lube on it; up the shaft, to the head, then back down again.

"Pretend it's mine, baby. Make me feel good."

And she starts strokin' faster, up the shaft and pinching the head, and then back down. She repeats this over and over.

"Oh yeah, baby. That feels nice. See how hard you make me?"

She leans up to suck on my lip. I let her.

"Put me inside you."

And she puts in the head. I slide down and watch it go in, licking her clit.

"That's it, baby, a little more."

I lick her sticky fingers as she holds onto the thing. I close my fist around the remaining portion and lube it up, makin' it wet to the end of the other tip.

I slide my hand back to the middle of it, and start to push it gently, back and forth, seein' more and more of the dick go inside of her.

She groans.

"You feel me, baby? You like that, don't you?" She moans a yes.

I latch my lips around a nipple and fuck her slow.

She's got her sticky hand in my hair, and she's holdin' on tight.

"Oh yeah, Faith. You feel so good inside me. Fuck me, baby. Give me more."

I keep the same pace.

"More, baby..." I push harder until I see another inch go in.

"Oh yeah..." she moans. She moves her hips under me, tryin' to get more inside.

"Me," I say. I angle the dick so it bends a little in the middle and I rub the tip against my pussy lips. She grabs my hand and shoves it upward, sliding the cock inside of me.

"Oh fuck, baby, push it," I groan to her.

She half sits and moves her leg so I can put mine over her thigh. I grab onto her shoulders and lean back, pullin' her closer to me, and the cock slides further into both of us until there is less than an inch remaining between us. She starts rockin' her hips and I feel the dick hit hard inside of me. I push back. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I move mine to hold her beneath her arms and around her back.

I pull on her, "Push it, baby, fuck me with it," I breathe into her ear.

I pull a hand back and slide it in between us, playing with a nipple. She pulls her hand back and does the same to me.

We fuck each other, rockin' back and forth, lifting our hips and slammin' down harder with each thrust. We are both startin' to sweat and I lick her chin.

"You're so hard, Faith...you're tearing me up!" she cries out, leaning back hard on her elbows.

Her eyes are closed, her lips are parted and she's breathin' heavy. I lean back and grab onto her thighs, they're slick, but I manage.

"Fuck me, baby. Push harder, I want to feel your pussy on my clit," I tell her.

I let out a loud groan.

She had lifted her hips and thrust hard into me, her clit was now rubbing against mine.

"Faith, you make me insane!" she shouts, leaning up to grab my fingers from her thighs. We grasp each other's hands and start pullin' each other, a see-saw motion...her and then me...me and then her.

The dick is fuckin' us both, and our clits bump against each other, makin' me throb and anticipate the next contact.

"Baby, I'm gonna come soon. Are you ready? You're gonna come with me," I tell her with a growl.

"Yes..." she groans back.

"Good..." I pull her roughly to me and kiss her, bucking my hips as I feel both of us begin to climax, shoving harder into her...and makin' the dick shove harder into me, "...Cus you have no choice in the matter."

Starving!

I stiffen my spine and sit up straight at the dinner table.

I eyeball all the cartons of steaming delicious Chinese food that's laid out like a feast before me.

A bona fide post fuck feast! My favorite!

"I can fix her a plate, Buffy. Go ahead and serve yourself, okay?" Willow says.

"That's okay, Will. It's probably my fault she's so hungry anyway, so I better start shoveling the food. I strongly suggest that you and Tara take as much as you want, because you'll be sadly surprised if you come back for seconds."

Red looks at me eyeballin' the food.

"Come on, Tara. You grab those two cartons, and I'll take these."

Then Red looks at me, but says to Buffy:

"If the plates aren't big enough, Buffy, there's a trough out back."

"Ha. Good one, Will," Buffy smiles, piling food on my plate.

Why does everyone talk about me like I'm not in the room?

So I say:

"Uh, hello? I'm right here."

"I'm hurrying as fast as I can, baby. Have a cookie."

What?

Tara and Red look at me like I'm some sort of a slave driver.

Oh no.

"No baby, that's not what I meant," I say quickly.

"I think it's very nice the way Buffy takes care of Faith. Don't you, Tara?" Willow interjects, ignoring me.

"Uh-huh," T grins.

"She wakes up at night to sex, then she has sex again when she wakes up. Oh, sometimes in the afternoon, and always each night before bed."

Buffy nods her head not lookin' up, busy fixing my plate.

"Yep," she says.

"And then, Tara, she's always hungry afterwards. You saw her eat two dozen eggs for breakfast, and all those 'Wimpy burgers' for lunch..."

I love 'Wimpy burgers'!

I'll explain later.

"And now, tonight, she's gonna break poor Buffy's wrist from all the food she demands to be fed."

Tara shakes her head in sympathy for Buffy's plight.

"And after all of that, Tara? She criticizes that Buffy just isn't fast enough for her."

Buffy and Tara both shake their heads now.

"It's just one big vicious cycle for Buffy, but for Faith? Well, she's just living the life of Reilly," she finally concludes.

Life of Reilly.

Not R-I-L-E-Y.

In case you were wondering.

Buffy finishes piling the food, and puts the plate in front of me.

"Yep, just one big vicious cycle," B echoes.

I look at them surprised.

They're kiddin' me, right?

Then Buffy leans down and gives me a kiss.

"Just kidding, baby," And pulls back smiling.

Red and T are grinning.

Ha. Funny.

"Go ahead, have your fun with me. Pass me the soy sauce, will you?"

"You mean the sodium sauce?" Buffy says.

Tara hands it over.

"You know the salt always makes you bloat," Buffy warns.

"Yeah, 'H.R pufnstuf' " Willow says.

"She doesn't need any help, 'Witchiepoo'," I say, dismissing her.

I pour the black stuff all over my rice...and my noodles. What the heck, the soup too.

"You...you missed a spot," Tara says, teasing.

I stare her in the eyes and pour the rest of the bottle, raising it high.

Buffy laughs.

"It's not like it's hurting us...although we do have to look at you."

Whatever.

"Pass me the hot sauce, will you, T?" She's the only helpful one.

Xander walks in with a big bottle of the stuff.

"Here ya go, sport. I saw you were running low, so I picked you up a bottle."

"Cabinet next to the sink," Buffy says.

"Two boxes and a case in the pantry," Willow adds.

I am spoiled.

Xander looks at the food, rubbing his chest.

"Mmm, Chinese. What, no 'Wimpy burgers'? 'I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today'."

I raise my left hand, cuz I'm shovelin' food with the other.

He slaps me a high five.

"No, she decided to have a little Chinese with her soy sauce."

He puffs out his face and squints his eyes, then he does the Edward G. Robinson cartoon voice from Courageous Cat.

"Aw, aw, cuz I'm the frog, seeeee?"

My hand is still raised, so I just flip him off.

Okay, obscure cartoon references.

1. Wimpy Burgers from Popeye.

Wimpy is always beggin' for burgers, saying "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."

But it's never just one. It's a platter full of plain lookin' hamburgers, piled high in tiers with cartoon steam rising. As a kid I never had enough to eat, so it always made me hungry. When I got older and had my own money, I'd go to Mickey D's and order a bag full of regular hamburgers, plain. I used to eat them right out of the bag...but after B heard about my childhood memories, she'd unwrap them, nuke them, and serve them to me on a plate.

Steam rising.

And it's not cus she wants to see me pucker my lips and blow...

It's cus she loves me.

2. Courageous Cat.

Courageous Cat and Minute Mouse are a crime-fighting duo. A cat and a mouse. Obviously. I think they lived in a Cat Cave.

They had one arch villain that was a bloated little frog that looked and dressed like a gangster. He sounded like Edward G. Robinson and always said:

"Aw, aw, cuz I'm the frog, seeee?"

Xander is my cartoon and comic book buddy.

He's the X-man.

Oz was pretty good too, especially with Superman facts, but he's gone now.

I miss him.

Not that I'd change things with Willow and Tara.

They're just so fucking cute together.

But Willow and Oz were too.

I guess sometimes you just need the love of a good woman...

Buffy seems to think so.

But Angel is our dude, and everything is workin' out swell there. He's a great friend.

Maybe the Wiccas and Fur-Face will wind up the same way.

Hope springs eternal...

...but Faith's gonna spring a leak.

I gotta piss.

"I gotta piss," I say.

"Buffy, you put your lips on that mouth?" Red asks.

Xander grins.

"I bet it's not only her lips," he jokes.

"Well, she does have two sets, Xan, but technically speaking, you're right. And she also-"

"-just go to the bathroom, Faith," Buffy interrupts.

I grin and kiss her in passing. I wiggle my eyebrows at everyone, and point a finger back and forth to her lips and my mouth.

"What was sh-she referring to, Buffy?" Tara asks puzzled.

Willow says, "I'll tell you later, Tara."

"Or maybe you can show her!" I yell from the bathroom.

I hear Xander laughin'.

Hey, a little anal-lingus never hurt anybody.

"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T SEE. I'M BLIND."

I have my hands outstretched in front of me, pretending to bump into things.

"We warned you, Helen Killer," Buffy mumbles, brushin' her teeth.

She leans over to rinse, and I bump my crotch into her ass.

She straightens up and looks at me in the mirror.

I squint my eyes, "Oops," I turn away and I bang my hands on the wall, causing her to turn around and say:

"You should listen to me next time."

I swing my arms around in the direction of her voice. I take a peek and aim for her breasts.

Contact!

"Faith!" she scolds, as I grope her.

"What? I was listening to you, that's how we blind people navigate. I'm honing my senses. Hearing..." and I cock my head, "...smell..." and I sniff the air, "...and feel," I grope her some more.

She slaps my hands away.

"That's 'vision impaired'," she corrects, gettin' all P.C. about it. Then she says:

"Brush your teeth and come to bed. I want to talk to you."

"What about, B?"

"Brush your teeth and come to bed," she repeats.

So I do. I change my clothes and walk into the bedroom.

"Nice combo, Faith. It makes sense."

I have on some really baggy Scooby-Doo boxer shorts that B got me, and my Rob Zombie T-shirt.

Cartoons and Corpses.

Of course it makes sense.

I climb up on the bed and crawl under the covers. She snuggles up next to me, her mouth on my shoulder.

"What's up, B? What do you wanna talk to me about?"

She doesn't say anything for a moment, like she's thinkin'. Her mouth is slightly open, and I can feel her teeth in my shoulder and some drool seepin' through my shirt.

She's thinkin' hard.

"Baby?" I ask.

She makes that little slurpy sound and pulls back. She wipes my sleeve.

"Sorry," she pauses, "Umm...never mind."

Okay, now that would bother most people.

But not me.

When you're ready, talk to me. I'm not gonna pry it out of you.

I've got better things to do.

"Okay," I say, and then turn on my side to face her, "You wanna kiss a frog, and see if I turn into a prince?"

"Prin-cess," she corrects, like always.

"Whatever."

I really am a sight. From what I can see, that is.

My eyelids are small slits, and I've got bulbous bags under them.

"The ocean called. It wants its salt back," she says, kissin' my eyes, my nose, and my lips.

"Winnie-the-Pooh called. He wants his huney pot back," And I dip a finger in her pussy.

She smiles and moves a little against it.

"Baby?" she asks, all quiet.

"Hmm?"

"Do you love me?"

"Mm-hmm," I move my finger. She moves a little more against it.

"Can my mother move in?"

And my eyes fly open as much as they can. Okay, so they don't move at all, but my finger stops movin' in her pussy.

She laughs.

"I'm sorry, baby. I saw your eyelashes flutter, but that's about it."

Joyce? HERE?

"Baby?" she asks.

"Um...hmm?" I stall.

"Did you hear me?"

Did I hear her...did I hear her...did I hear her...

"What?" I say, like I didn't hear her.

"I know you heard me. Can she?"

"Umm...well..."

"Yes or no, Faith."

"Um. No." I cringe and close my eyes shut tight...ter.

"Why?"

"Well baby, you know...I mean, it's your mom. You know how free we are around here, gettin' naked at all hours of the night, walkin' around naked at all hours of the night, talkin' about gettin' naked at all hours of the night."

She looks at me kind of sad, "Yeah."

"Baby, I mean, I love your mom, but she really doesn't fit into our household, you know? I mean, to visit is great, but not to live. If you asked if Willow and Tara could move in, I'd say yeah, cus they fit in great. They're cool, they're gay, they're mystical like us, and they aren't shocked by our sexcapades. Plus, they're our age."

I kiss her.

"Do you know what I mean, baby?" Please don't be mad, I think.

"Can Willow and Tara move in?"

Huh?

Hooooo-hoooo-hooo! I've been set up!

"You set me up!" I get on top of her and start tickling.

Buffy starts laughin', tryin' to stop my fingers, squirming away.

"H...h...help!" she yells gasping, tears in her eyes.

The door bursts open and two laughing lesbian Wiccas come bouncin' into the room, hurling themselves on top of me. I pretend to defend myself, but let the two girls hold me down as Buffy straddles my waist.

"Say yes! Say yes, or we'll tickle you 'til you do!" Buffy says, pokin' me in the gut.

"Ow! Okay, okay."

She pokes me again, "Say yes."

"Yes," I gasp, laughin'.

The girls release my arms and walk out giggling.

"Good..." Buffy says, "...cus you had no choice in the matter."

And she laughs as I pounce on top of her.

"Did you and Mr. Hose get things straightened out?" I ask Buffy.

"Oh, yes. Ages ago. He was all tied up in knots over that sassy sprinkler head. I told him not to worry about it, cus those types were a dime a dozen...well, more like $6.99 for a dozen at Home Depot, but he got my drift."

Seems like the sprinkler head was startin' some shit with the hose.

Buffy would pull it to water the lawn at the other end, and the hose would get caught on the sprinkler.

"How do you know it's not the hose tryin' to strangle the sprinkler's head?" I ask her.

"Oh, I just do," she says knowingly, "Those guys have a system going. They all get in his way. But this one is the ring leader."

She's seriously demented...but she's mine.

"That's nice, baby," I say, then:

"I think we should pack up the Jeep tonight so we can leave first thing in the morning, if that's alright with you?"

I got myself a Jeep!

It was Buffy's idea. She says I look fine in it...

...but I know she means butch.

"At the crack of dawn, huh?" Buffy says.

"Yep, at dawn's crack."

Dawn. As in the early portion of the day.

But you knew that already.

We were going to L.A. to spend a few days with Cordy and Angel.

It was Gay Pride weekend.

Tara & Red were comin' too.

Xander had been invited to come along, and he was all set to go.

The thought of seeing thousands of lesbian lovers almost made is brain explode. But after he found out Ronald was going to be there, he changed his mind.

"Uh, I think I need to schedule a root canal," Was his excuse.

I really didn't have the heart to tell him he didn't have anything to worry about. Ronald really had moved onto someone else...

...he was still crushin' on Angel, big time.

"Can I drive?" Buffy asks.

Oh no...

She sees the look on my face and gives me a pout.

Unfair!

"Uh, sure, baby..." Who can resist that pout? "...but we'll have to run it by Red and T first," I add.

More like run it over them. Never gonna happen.

"I already checked with them. They said if you were okay with it, then they would be too."

Those weasels.

They probably have a spell or something to keep them from screamin'. I'll have to be sure they hook me up before we go.

"Well, there you go, baby," I say, "But promise me you'll put in the clutch before you shift gears, okay?"

We've only had the Jeep for five weeks and we've had the transmission worked on twice already.

"But I'm not bringing a purse," she says, all Bambi-eyed.

She sees the look on my face and says:

"I'm only kidding, Faith. Take the stick shift out of your ass already."

And that's my point.

The way she drives, someone just may have to. Tara still has a bump on her forehead from last week's incident.

But I just grin.

"Speaking of ass..." I say.

"Yes?" she smiles.

"I was thinkin' we should go upstairs and see how our fluid levels are holdin' up. You know, four-on-the-floor, check under the hood, a little dipstick action, maybe?"

"Oh, definitely. It's always wise to check out one's ride before engaging in travel. But this time, I get to be the Ferrari and you get to play the mechanic."

"Sure, baby. I'd love to slide right under and lube you up a little."

She walks over to the foot of the stairs, one hand on the rail, and looks at me.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Step on it, baby," Wiggling her eyebrows like I do.

And pedal-to-the-metal, I race her up the stairs.