ACT FOUR
FADE UP
INT. WILLIE'S BAR - NIGHT
Sparse. Willie tallies the giant wad of cash in his grasp.
Faith, Spike, and the Female enter with a stealthy bravado
that instantly gets Willie's attention. He fumbles his cash.
WILLIE
Oh oh, um...
(deferring the cash
to them)
...I value my worthless life. You
don't see it that way, sure, but as
an inhabitant of this vast land of
opportunity I stake my claim to the
space I take, no matter how
wasteful you believe my space to be.
This is my offering, kill me if you
must. But let me remind you--the
world needs a snitch.
That gets blank stares. The Female enamors herself with the
jukebox. Faith and Spike hit the bar.
WILLIE
Am I suddenly out of the loop? Is
doing my thing poorly grounds for
killing me?
FAITH
Not trappin' your trap so I can ask
questions'll do the job.
(off Willie's silence)
Thanks. So, any holiday surprises
on the dirtbag radar?
WILLIE
C'mon slayer, this ain't your first
Christmas in the 'Dale. You know
the score.
FAITH
Yeah and it says my girl whooped
the First Evil by three touchdowns.
I know you didn't forget about the
fuckin' miracle snow.
WILLIE
(fondly)
First snowball fight I had in
sixteen years.
SPIKE
(woefully)
It physically pains me, the memory.
And I was in Bolivia at the time.
WILLIE
Okay, you're not used to the norm.
Evil's idle, you should be too.
FAITH
So the 23rd ain't earmarked to
become a red-letter date in
American history?
WILLIE
(a beat; to Spike)
Do I describe ya to the newsletter
as disingenuous... or ingenious?
SPIKE
I prefer strikingly handsome.
FAITH
Spill Will. I want a name from you.
It better be a sweet lead, 'cause
if it's sour...
She rolls her head in the Female's direction. Willie goes
along and watches the Female tap the glass of the jukebox.
FEMALE
Mmm, I love that album!
The Female smashes the glass, to Willie's chagrin, and yanks
out a cd. She admires it for a moment, flips it in the air,
catches and frisbees it at a patron unlucky enough to have
his drinking hand moving upward. The cd slices his hand off
cleanly. The patron HOWLS in agony as blood squirts out.
Willie is sufficiently bullied.CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Xander stumbles out of the building, Buffy charging behind.
BUFFY
Imagine my non-surprise that you'd
do something so utterly stupid and
irresponsible after throwing one of
your manly hissy fits!
XANDER
A hissy fit? HISSY FIT?
BUFFY
Of the manly variety because
contrary to popular opinion, you
are still a man. For now.
XANDER
This is rich--YOU are angry with ME?
I'm the only problem!
BUFFY
You overreacted the other day about
a well-known secret and to punish
us you keep an important secret to
the detriment of the group--the
whole damn town.
XANDER
If I overreacted, then you have
tonight.
BUFFY
Bullshit! This is a serious breach
of trust Xander. We depend on you.
(off Xander's snort)
The only member of this group who
devalues your contribution is you.
(off another Xander snort)
Shut it you inconsiderate crybaby!
Never in a million years would you
be held in a lower regard than
everyone else. It's your own fault
for feeling like shit.
XANDER
No no no, it comes with a little
help from my friends. Your
feelings are hurt by this? By not
knowing something important?
Welcome to the club.
BUFFY
So instead of coming to me; sitting
me down; talking to me, giving me
your side, explaining in depth why
you feel the way you do... you go
the retaliation route.
XANDER
It's a very scenic route. I found
it to be captivating, satisfying--
despite its relative shortness.
BUFFY
In your mind, I deserved that?
A beat.
XANDER
My mind isn't the only place. CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE, WILLOW'S ROOM - NIGHT
Willow observes with mild interest as Anya downs a bottle of
bourbon in earnest. When finished, Anya's face contorts.
ANYA
(pitifully)
I did excellent work for the
benefit of the team, spoiled by the
epic greatness that is Buffy.
WILLOW
WE. Don't forget the team effort
that went into benefiting the team.
ANYA
I'm sorry honey. Please don't hate
me for not including you in my
self-aggrandizement.
Anya throws herself on Willow's outstretched lower half.
WILLOW
It's perfectly understandable ANYA.
ANYA
Feel free to bestow upon me a term
of endearment.
WILLOW
Your name is a term... that has
endearing qualities. So there.
ANYA
Can I do anything for you? I'm
drunk, but I retain the capability
to make coffee, say words like
"capability", and sexually pleasure
your feet.
Willow tosses her head back in exasperation. She flings it
forward, adorning a curiously intrigued expression.
ANYA
(a hint of fancy)
You're into foot play? CUT TO:
INT. BACKROOM - NIGHT
Faith whips a five-eyed green demon into the wall. A sixth
eye has been gouged out. The Female presides over several
other demons cowering in a corner. Spike makes a production
out of smoking his cigarette.
FAITH
Ya got five eyes left, I still got
two hands and two feet that can
fuck up ten of you on steroids, not
to mention hair with a wicked attitude.
GREEN DEMON
(quivering)
I never did nothing to you or your
friends. I don't do nothing period.
I'm lazy. Too lazy to be actively
evil. Please let me go.
FAITH
Sorry dude, reliable intel put me
in this room and your body in my
possession. Gotta face the reality
of the situation. It's your own fault.
GREEN DEMON
Who sent you?
FAITH
Aw, hey, what are you doin' askin'
that? You know the law of the
street--normal, evil or otherwise--
ya don't rat out a rat. Even if it
is Willie. Understand Mr. Green
Bean, gimme the answer I want and
not only do you live, but you live
with vision.
The Green Demon puts aside his fear to think. He peers
scornfully at Spike.
GREEN DEMON
Selling out your comrades. Hard to
imagine givin' evil a worse name
than it already has...
Spike smoothly releases some smoke. He takes a spot next to
Faith and uses his non-smoking hand to hold open one of the
green demon's eyes. Spike raises the cigarette and, in
spite of the terrified SCREAMS, burns the eye with the lit end.
GREEN DEMON
Okay, okay! What do you wanna know?!
At Faith's prodding, Spike stops. The eye's done.
FAITH
There's gotta be a ring leader.
Spike sways behind Faith. He's having a blast. CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Buffy and Xander are still at it.
XANDER
I deserve to know about certain
aspects of your personal life.
That's not overstepping a boundary
'cause I'm one of your best friends.
At least, I'm supposed to be.
BUFFY
I'm not arguing against that! But
you can't expect an announcement
with every step I take in my
relationship.
XANDER
You didn't tell me about the FIRST
step!
BUFFY
I'm dating a GIRL. Someone I tried
to kill and who tried to kill me...
XANDER
That's not unusual.
BUFFY
This doesn't compare with Spike.
XANDER
No shit! This isn't some sordid
fuckfest, needy affair with Spike!
(softly; tired)
You're in love with Faith. That's
a good thing. I like her, I trust
her, I want her to be happy in the
same I way I want for you and
Willow. It's a very good thing.
And if you had told me sooner,
everything I just said would've
been said a lot sooner.
A long beat.
BUFFY
I--appreciate that. And I'd like
to say all the people I love are on
my mind 24 hours a day. Fact is,
you weren't a concern for me the
last few weeks. I hate saying it,
but it's true. I was focused on
Faith--on Faith and me--on these
new feelings that alter your entire
sense of being. I am not the same
person I was a few weeks ago, and
telling you just wasn't a priority.
XANDER
Neither was Willow, right? Didn't
stop you from telling her.
BUFFY
That was a natural reaction. You
have NEVER approved of my love life
as long as YOU aren't in it!
XANDER
(shakily defiant)
I am not jealous.
BUFFY
I didn't say you were! But over
seven years, a pattern is created
that makes you do things in a knee-
jerk fashion. It's not based on
instinct--it's experience.
Seven years of absorbing your
responses to my latest romantic
relationship, whatever with whoever
it was. Deep down, yeah I felt I
could tell Willow without a problem.
(pause)
Despite that, you mean no less to
me than she does. I love you Xan.
I need you in my life... I want you
in my life. I don't want it to be
like this.
Xander heaves a heavy SIGH and falls back against a mailbox. CUT TO:
EXT. LAIR - NIGHT
Dark and gloomy. A stone wall with a door partially open.
Faith and Spike divide their attention between what's
happening inside and each other.
SPIKE
How do we know she's not a fag hag?
FAITH
You know, I never met a homo demon.
This is California, what the fuck?
SPIKE
It's not gay. The punk inside is a
Faggilicius demon. They got a
peculiar charm that reels in the
chicks, which is why they steal
human bodies.
FAITH
(with distaste)
God, you're not sayin'...
SPIKE
This new generation of slayers...
sexual deviants up and down the
line. Oh the depravity, it's--
Spike's awareness heightens. Faith catches on. They listen
carefully. The door opens forcing Faith and Spike to
scuttle back. The Female comes out, cocky, hands behind her
back.
FAITH
What's the what?
FEMALE
There's a meeting tomorrow night,
last minute prep. Got the locale.
SPIKE
Good work. Did you, uh--
(lasciviously;
imitating a hand-job)
--beat it out of him?
Faith rolls her eyes nearly out of their sockets.
FEMALE
Pretty much. Wanna take a shot?
The Female quickly tosses a penis in Spike's face. Spike
CRIES OUT, finding it repugnant. Faith cracks up. CUT TO:
EXT. XANDER'S BUILDING - DAWN
Buffy and Xander reach the front. There's a silent few
moments as both try to summon the right way to end the night.
BUFFY
I'm glad we did this. When I
called you an inconsiderate crybaby,
I said it with only seven percent
heart. Seventeen at most.
XANDER
Woo hoo. As proof that I'm the
better man, when I called you an
overrated ballet bouncer, it was
done at SIXTEEN percent.
BUFFY
Umm, you didn't call me that... in
my presence.
XANDER
I never said I did, and I certainly
never said it was me who said it.
In fact, I'm pretty sure you called
yourself that--after commenting on
my stallion sexual ability.
BUFFY
Funny, Faith described that as a
pedestrian pony.
XANDER
(emphatically)
It was my first time!
Buffy smiles. She kisses Xander on the cheek.
BUFFY
Get some sleep. Come over at
around six for a planning session.
XANDER
Sounds like a plan.
Buffy begins walking. Xander stops her when:
XANDER
Hey!
(after Buffy turns around)
You do realize as a screwed-over
heterosexual male, I have to get in
one good punch on Faith.
BUFFY
Xan, at this point, I hope you
knock her out. CUT TO:
INT. DEAN HOUSE - MORNING
Dino groggily tosses his keys on a table. He checks the
kitchen--empty. The whole first floor is the same, a
demoralizing observation. He goes upstairs and to the door
at the end of the hall. He opens it and peeks in. Light
breaks through the drawn curtains enabling him to see
clearly his sister asleep on her side, Dawn spooning her.
Dino has no idea what to do. CUT TO:
INT. SUMMERS HOUSE - MORNING
Buffy CRACKS her neck, pleasantly therapeutic. She halts in
the kitchen entrance, bemused as Anya tries to feed pancakes
to Willow with the Female breezily watching.
ANYA
You had no problem opening wide
last night.
WILLOW
A mouth and--and--alligator hands
are two very different things.
ANYA
Admit it, you're ashamed of me.
WILLOW
(dead serious)
I'm ashamed of you.
Anya attentively eyes Willow.
ANYA
You don't mean that.
(like a drill instructor)
EAT!
Buffy waves over the Female. They go into the living room.
BUFFY
Do you know why Anya's in my house
at seven o'clock in the morning?
FEMALE
I'm not up on the details, but I
have an active imagination. Want
my version?
BUFFY
If you care to see me puke.
FEMALE
Please do your best not to... I
plan on feeding myself some
pancakes. First--
(pulling a paper out
of her pocket)
--Faith asked me to give you this.
Buffy takes and reads it.
BUFFY
Couldn't do it herself?
FEMALE
She said something about plants.
BUFFY
Naturally. Looks like you did good
work. Spike try anything?
The Female mimics a hand-job.
BUFFY
Master vamps--master perverts.
(beat)
Thanks for this. You're an asset
to this group--we can never have
enough slayers. I still don't get
why you felt the need to dodge
first contact.
FEMALE
(a beat; wryly)
I'm shy.
Buffy smiles. Buffy glances at the kitchen.
BUFFY
Uptown has one of those 50's-style
diners. Can't vouch for their
pancakes...
FEMALE
(smiling)
I'm experimental. Especially when
the experiment is funded by someone
else.
Buffy and the Female head for the door.
BUFFY
Do you have a name? Or do I call
you Sycamore, Willow's non-cousin?
FEMALE
Victoria.
(beat; sly)
A slayer with a kinky streak...
sound familiar?
BUFFY
You'll get more out of life by not
listening to Spike.
FEMALE
Mm hmm.
BUFFY
I'm paying, so stuff it. CUT TO:
INT. CRYPT - MORNING
Spike eases into a dimly lit room, drying his face with a
towel. DRUSILLA resembles a corpse on the bed.
She's splayed out on her back, eyes wide open minus the
blinking.
SPIKE
I think I finally got that dick's
aura off me. That whore'll get
hers.
(off Drusilla's silence)
Bloody hell Dru, stop talking so
much!
(frustrated by more silence)
Blah blah blah, that's how the
message is playing in the scrambled
egg of your consciousness. You
don't have to say it--you're pissed.
Got the juices of malevolence
flowing, unable to be sated by the
thought of slayer blood spicing up
those same veins. Promises tend to
ring hollow the more you promise
'em.
(moving to Drusilla's
side, getting in close)
I'll do it again though--I promise
you'll enjoy her for as long as
this life lasts. You understand
where I'm coming from on this.
It's the way I'm built. An
attachment I can't shake, no
different from me and you. I can't
help it luv. I want you both. I
will have you both. I'll sire
her...
(whispering)
...life and death goes on.
Spike plants a kiss on Drusilla's forehead. She's seemingly
catatonic. Spike senses the futility of the moment and goes
into another room. When the coast is clear, Drusilla's
eyelids flutter. She lazily rolls over to the edge and
reaches underneath the bed. She pulls out a doll and brings
it to rest on her chest. The doll's got blonde hair and a
pastel outfit. Drusilla gazes remarkably at the doll before
vamping out, a grin snaking across her lips. Close on
Drusilla's demented demon visage. Close on the eerily
familiar doll:
FADE OUT |
