| ACT TWO FADE IN INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH, HALLWAY - DAY Dawn spots Elle at her locker and heads over. Elle notices and searches for a way out, but she's trapped. DAWN Hey. ELLE Hi. DAWN Um, how was your Sunday? Was it "Sunday Funday" or "Sunday Funday No Fucking Way!"? ELLE Wasn't really paying attention. DAWN To the virtues of Sunday or what I just said? ELLE First thing. DAWN I was a royal cunt to you Saturday night-- ELLE --No problem. DAWN Yes it is. ELLE I don't care. I'm not dwelling on it and neither should you. DAWN We need to talk about a lot of heavy stuff that's been bothering me and that--I'm hoping--don't take this the wrong way...hoping is bothering you too. ELLE Forget it Dawn. I don't wanna deal with this right now. DAWN Doesn't have to be at this precise moment in time... ELLE Then I'll be going. DAWN But it's gotta happen soon. ELLE Actually, loneliness fits my mood. A little life without Dawn will do me good. DAWN Now YOU are ignoring ME. ELLE If anyone can handle it... (beat) Have a Funday Monday. Elle shuts her locker and moves to go but Dawn grabs Elle's arm. DAWN Quit fucking making this into a game! I've never had so much to say-- ELLE --And I won't be listening. Leave me alone...please. Elle's sorrowful gaze breaks Dawn's resolve and Dawn breaks her hold on Elle's arm. Elle walks off. CUT TO: INT. FAITH'S HOTEL ROOM - DAY Faith throws back a cold one as she reads a book. The computer system is all set up. The toe sits on the nightstand. There's a KNOCK at the door. FAITH (yelling) What do you fuckin' want? The door opens and Anya pokes her head in. ANYA Can I come in? FAITH I'm not in the mood flighty. There's mondo whores over on Viola. ANYA I am not some lowly sexpot. FAITH Christ, my pussy's laughin'. Anya fully enters. ANYA If it was purely a one-nighter for sex, that's fine--even though I wouldn't mind another one-nighter followed by a quickie one- nighter...all acceptable. FAITH Now my ass is laughin' hard enough to laugh ME off. You came down here for that? ANYA Of course not. I have my own complex issues to tackle and yours are linebacker-like in scope-- FAITH --Which are my business and you'll never be asked to wrap that pretty airhead around 'em. Everyone's got their limits and yours barely exist, so don't fret vengeance-wench. ANYA What did Buffy do--or say--to you? FAITH Nothin'. ANYA Is that the problem? You speak in a multitude of fashions, relaying your feelings to her and she won't even submit in the simplest way? Faith stays silent. ANYA Buffy has made men act in foolish fashions since before the day you or I ever arrived in town. And now she's affected a substantially outstanding woman--one who's ripped to shreds the sensibilities of another woman who is the embodiment of FABULOUS. Make no mistake about it, I will get over you...unfortunately it took the extreme result of my desire to reach that conclusion. I'm trying...you should do the same. (MORE) ANYA (CONT'D) Buffy is not a state-of-mind...you can forget her, at least in the way you think of her now. Love, lust-- they're more similar than on the surface. FAITH Yeah, but your theorizin' is messed up...not like I ever told anyone--I fell in love with Buffy long before I ever got to SunnyD. Never met her or saw a measly picture...fuckin' talk all you want--my thing with you is nowhere in the same fuckin' league as what I have for Buffy. ANYA Well said. Make her see it. Anya turns and walks out. As she does: FAITH Don't have to tell me that! The door closes. Faith eyes the book. FAITH I will. CUT TO: INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH, GYM - DAY The STUDENTS play volleyball. Dawn and Elle are among them--same court, opposing teams. A girl serves it up. The point is lengthy as the girls conservatively hit the ball back and forth. Someone delivers an errant shot and the ball soars for the wall. Elle and the girls watch the ball...and then watch Dawn use the wall as a stepladder leaping high enough into the air to spike the ball viciously into a defenseless Elle's head. Elle staggers and drops to the floor. Her teammates rally around her. Elle's definitely in pain and stares at Dawn the whole time. Dawn checks her fingernails. DAWN Aw fuck! Broke a nail. Shitty sport. CUT TO: EXT. BRONZE ALLEY - NIGHT Buffy and Giles watch Dawn beat the unliving shit out of a VAMP. She GRUNTS and SHRIEKS as she lands one brutal blow after another. Dawn flings the Vamp against the wall, then throws him against the opposite wall. She kicks him in the face, chest, stomach, crotch, knees, feet. She fires him into the other wall again. Buffy calmly walks over to the Vamp and softly places the stake into the Vamp's chest dusting him. BUFFY Easiest kill I ever had. GILES I believe everyone may benefit from anger-management classes. BUFFY Ooh ooh, rage-aholics! I always wanted to be an -aholic. That and a cover-girl for Cosmo. GILES GQ. BUFFY I knew it! Giles is a fashion hound! DAWN Are we staying? BUFFY You can go home if you want. DAWN Alone? BUFFY Unlike with the library incident, I SAW THIS. Dawn slouches out of the alley. GILES It appears she's not handling her newfound...identity well. BUFFY Shock of all shocking shockers. At least lesbianism isn't life- threatening. GILES No, that comes with being the slayer's sister. BUFFY Wise-ass. (beat) I suck Giles. Buffy faux-desperately runs into Giles' faux-comforting embrace. Moments later, a WAILING TEEN flails into the alley TEEN Help me please! It wants my brain. BUFFY Who? TEEN The sewer demon. My brains food for it. BUFFY That is piss-poorly dumb even for this town. (to Giles) Right? GILES (to Teen) Is it a fair mix of slime and leather with a resounding purplish coloring? TEEN YES! BUFFY Oh no Giles--no. I'm 21 and have taken more sewer-ventures than trips out-of-state. GILES We won't be journeying into the sewer system... BUFFY Thank you! GILES ...Tonight. This time, Buffy really does cling desperately to Giles' embrace. CUT TO: INT. MANSION - NIGHT Faith carries a bag into the living room. She pulls out the book, the toe, a powder bag, some weed, a bowl, a matchbook, and a bottle of liquid. Faith opens the book and reads. She creates a star with the powder and places the bowl in its center. She lights a match and tosses it in the fireplace. She looks at the book again and pours the liquid into the bowl. She takes the weed and lights it afire, then drops it into the liquid causing the liquid to SIZZLE and smoke. Faith flinches at the sight and smell, but keeps going, referring to the book and taking hold of the toe. She takes a deep breath and SPEAKS in LATIN. Then: FAITH My heart and hers. Faith shuts her eyes tight and carefully sticks the toe in the liquid. The liquid bubbles, CRACKLES. The smoke thickens, the SIZZLING intensifies opening Faith's eyes, which widen then narrow. She leans in slightly...an EXPLOSION emanates from the bowl, smoke invading Faith's face and body. Faith COUGHS disgustingly, sliding across the floor away from the star. She keeps COUGHING for several moments until finally settling down, but still struggling to breath normally. She stares at the setup. After a moment, she slams the floor, gets up, and smashes the materials, kicking and SCREAMING at everything. FAITH Piece of shit! Never a fuckin' break available for Faithy. Faith LAUGHS pitifully and heads to the exit, but she stumbles. She clasps the wall for support, looking increasingly dazed. CUT TO: INT. CHURCH - DAY Two casually-dressed ALTAR BOYS--one with a hat--walk to the front with backpacks. The hat gets tossed into the corner of a front-row pew, then both put their backpacks on top of it. ALTAR BOY 1 You are such a moron! The Mets keep wasting money on old guys who spend more time on the injured list than they do on the lineup card. They can't win a June series against the Brewers let alone the October classic. ALTAR BOY 2 Al Michaels asked "do you believe in miracles?". I do--and you should too. They're called The Amazins for a reason. '69 Miracle Mets ring a bell? ALTAR BOY 1 Of course...but it ain't as loud as... Cue loud CHURCH BELLS. Father Oliveira comes out of his office. FATHER OLIVEIRA Boys--how's your day been going? ALTAR BOY 2 Usual as usual. FATHER OLIVEIRA Oh, that'll change in a few minutes. Before proceeding with the USUAL AS USUAL, I need something from you both. ALTAR BOY 1 Sure Father. What's the what? Father Oliveira morphs into an ugly-ass demon. FATHER OLIVEIRA Your organs will do. CUT TO: INT. SEWER - DAY Buffy and Giles flashlight their way through the creepy tunnels. BUFFY Chasing oogy sewer creeps--ahh, Craptastic Tuesdays--how I despise thee. GILES The demon's official name is Zickeria Pareesy. BUFFY It's late morning on an American weekday and I'm in a sewer--excuse my language, but FUCK the slimy sons of bitches handles! GILES Allow to me point out we are in an AMERICAN sewer. BUFFY Seriously: wise-ass. GILES Have you noticed Faith's less-than energized behavior lately? Or, overly-energized, depending on the day. Both are negative in nature. BUFFY I'll take care of it. GILES Meaning no offense, there's reason to believe YOU are the problem. BUFFY And I'M the solution. GILES She could benefit from a heartfelt reach by a certain watcher who took an unacceptable lack of interest in her the first go-around. BUFFY Don't blame yourself Giles--it's on all of us, especially me. GILES Now who is blaming WHOM? BUFFY Watch, document, mimic, train, talk to a slayer...do those and more for decades on end and you'll still never know what a slayer is unless the Powers lay that unsuspecting, un-fucking-welcome triggering touch on YOU. GILES I do my best to understand as much as possible. BUFFY Exactly why I'll always love and cherish my wonderful Giles so much. The flashlights are bright enough to show Giles' even brighter smile. Buffy and Giles turn a corner and come face-to-face with a giant, puke-ugly PAREESY. GILES Oh mother of holy Christ... BUFFY (nauseously) It looks like spoiled jelly. The Pareesy spews some "jelly" onto Buffy and Giles knocking them into the shallow ground water. Buffy and Giles look at themselves, then each other. BUFFY Giles, you suck. CUT TO: EXT. WEST SIDE NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY Faith jogs, but is clearly weaker than normal. Faith comes to a halt, bending over to stabilize her labored breathing. She stretches her arms and legs, grimacing with every motion. Sweat drips from every inch of revealed skin, a stunned Faith wiping at it wildly. She gives up and leans almost helplessly against a car. CUT TO: EXT. BUFFY'S BACKYARD - EVENING Buffy lies back in a hammock with a wet towel on her face. Giles walks out of the house toweling off. GILES That was exhilarating. BUFFY A shower is just a shower until you dance with Leatherface's violet vomit cousin. GILES I was referring to the encounter. BUFFY So what? FAITH (OS) I miss anything? Buffy springs up, the towel flying away. Faith struts into the yard. GILES You were absent for a fascinating-- BUFFY --Disgusting, Giles. Don't sugarcoat it. FAITH Sorry I wasn't there. BUFFY You'll change your mind when you see it. What's your day involved? FAITH Stuff--Sunnydale-style. BUFFY Anything dangerous? FAITH Can't be tasty without the spice. GILES Faith, are you physically all right? You look-- BUFFY --Off. FAITH I've been better--but when I'm good, I'm still better than the rest. BUFFY Damn straight. How 'bout a sweep? Together. FAITH Girl's night out... BUFFY ...The way it should be. FAITH Let's kick ass B. CUT TO: EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT Buffy's kicking the asses of two VAMPIRES. Faith is not-- and she's one-on-one. Buffy's quickness is on full display, connecting with her shots and evading whatever the Vampires try on her. She whips one, then nails the other, switching between them. She then hammers both at the same time, pulling out a stake. Buffy punches one, kicks the other, then shoves both against a tree, one on top of the other. She flips her stake in the air, and when it's at chest level, spin-kicks it hard enough to disappear in the first Vampire's chest and BOTH dissolve to dust. Buffy admires her work. Faith struggles mightily with her VAMP. They exchange blows, on a level playing field. Faith gets in a solid shot, but the Vamp counters with several of his own clearly having an effect on Faith. Buffy notices and rushes over, but the Vamp sees her and trips her up. Faith attacks, but gets no decent results. The Vamp hits Faith a couple of times and then throws her into a tombstone. Faith CRIES OUT and lies motionless. The Vamp admires his own work, a mistake because Buffy catches him off-guard and unleashes a furious assault on the Vamp who can't do anything of substance. Buffy's eyes burn with rage as she lashes out with one vicious shot after another until staking him. Buffy hightails it over to Faith. She turns Faith onto her back and examines her. BUFFY Faith? Faith? Can you hear me? FAITH (achingly) B...I feel wicked funky. Buffy presses down on Faith's midsection and Faith releases a shattering SCREAM. On Buffy's bewildered look: END ACT TWO |
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