ACT TWO
FADE UP
INT/EXT. ESPRESSO PUMP - LATE AFTERNOON
The whole gang sits at connected tables, trying to enjoy their drinks. It's fairly quiet. Faith scarfs down one pastry and then starts up on another, Buffy eyeballing her the whole time.
Giles swirls the tea bag out of his cup. Xander soothingly rubs Willow's back, but he can't stop himself from stealing glances at Anya who couldn't care less because she and Dino are hypnotically watching Dawn and Elle get playful with their respective drinks, GIGGLING, and WHISPERING to each other. Elle brings her cup to Dawn's lips and implores her to take a sip, which Dawn does while staring into Elle's eyes. Dino and Anya are dumbfounded at the display, with Dino a little bit more than disturbed and confused.
GILES It was a beautiful ceremony. Exceptionally planned and executed without complication.
XANDER I too thought it was nice.
ANYA Would you people give me such an effervescent funeral?
DAWN Effervescent?
BUFFY Of course we would Anya. Just no demony guests allowed.
ANYA Halfrek is dead--you were there. You were responsible for it happening.
BUFFY I will not dignify that with a response.
FAITH (to Buffy) You killed her demon friend Halifax? That's not nice.
ANYA Her name was Halfrek.
FAITH Whatever. I didn't know the chick. She get a funeral?
ANYA She combusted after Buffy tried to kill me.
FAITH Tisk tisk, B. Major tisk action.
BUFFY Can we not dwell on the past please?
FAITH (pointedly) Good idea.
Buffy wallows.
WILLOW How about a toast?
DINO With coffee? Isn't this an alcoholic occasion?
WILLOW I've been drunk for three days running. Just do it!
Xander takes the initiative and lifts his glass cup.
XANDER All right. Here's to Kennedy. (pause) May she do plenty of asskicking in the afterlife.
They clink cups.
DINO Is there a way of getting in touch with her spirit or something? I'd really appreciate it if she kicked Michael Jackson's ass.
BUFFY He's not dead.
DINO Oh you just wait.
Dino looks away as the others questioningly look at Elle. Elle signals with her hand not to say anything.
GILES While the holidays are an excellent deterrent to attacks by the underworld, I feel we could use it to our advantage. Possibly catch Spike and Drusilla off-guard.
WILLOW I think I will have a bourbon.
GILES I'm sorry Willow. This probably is not the best time for a strategy session.
WILLOW Gee, ya think?!
FAITH (to Buffy) Hey, sun's goin' down. Better go lock and load for the hunt.
BUFFY You're slaying tonight? Have you no feelings?
FAITH I got plenty. Almost as many as the innocents dumb enough to roam these streets at night. The vamps ain't on Christmas break yet B.
ELLE It's "winter break" now. (seething) Fucking ACLU.
Dawn strokes Elle's hair to calm her down. Dino's eyes latch onto the sight and when the Girls notice him looking, they separate.
GILES It's really not necessary. The occasional night off is perfectly reasonable.
FAITH (standing up) Well I got some steam to blow, so I'm blowin'. (to Willow) Wanna come Red? Killin' things is healthy.
WILLOW No thanks. I need to focus on my drinking.
FAITH Sounds like a plan. Anyone else? No? Then I'll check ya later.
All eyes follow Faith out and then turn to Buffy who rubs her face, rough and tired.
OUTSIDE
Faith makes her way down the sidewalk. Buffy hurries out of the Pump and jogs to meet up with Faith who doesn't break stride.
FAITH Wanna give me a goodbye kiss?;
BUFFY I'd like to avoid a possible forever-goodbye.
FAITH Oh, right, I need protection from my slayer Girlfriend since I'm just a lowly superhuman second-string superhero.
BUFFY That's a lot of S-words. The attitude is beyond unnecessary.
FAITH Gotta make you see I ain't puttin' up with this shit.
BUFFY Meanwhile, I have to put up with the constantly increasing pile of Faith shit. I'm supposed to accept it as a fact of life?
FAITH Now you're gettin' it.
BUFFY It doesn't work that way. You are stuck with me and it is my accepted duty to throw in your face every moment of unacceptable stupidity and insensitivity. Our friend Willow was tortured for hours on end, near death, and then found her lover deader than dead. But hey, we shouldn't let that get in the way of your desire to kill things, which is merely a cover for your need to escape any situation that involves serious emotional engagement.
Faith halts them.
FAITH How much do I owe for the hour? Those state-provided therapists got nothin' on you babe.
BUFFY Piss me off as much as you want-- I'm not leaving you.
FAITH So this is punishment for supposedly treatin' Willow...INCORRECTLY?
BUFFY I'd just rather not lose my Girlfriend on some Christmas fluke.
FAITH For the last fuckin' time: I don't need you bein' my fuckin' chaperone! I'll be fine!CUT TO:
EXT. CEMETERY - NIGHT
Buffy watches Faith SLAM into a mausoleum. Buffy is unconcerned. Faith makes a futile effort to get up as a demon--a cross between a hippo and a dog--approaches Faith, picks her up, and SLAMS her against the mausoleum again, this time holding her upright. The demon sniffs a woozy Faith, then sticks out a long blue tongue and licks Faith's face in one extensive, slobbery lashing. Buffy cringes.
BUFFY (calling out) You will shower thoroughly before any kissage takes place.
The demon punishes Faith against the wall for a few more moments before Buffy finally interjects.
BUFFY Excuse me--Mr. Hungry Hungry Hippomonster?
The demon stops and turns around. Faith plops to the ground.
BUFFY You hurt my lady love. Your mutant ass is headed for the grinder and a stray dog's food plate.
The demon has no idea what that means. Buffy SIGHS and runs at it. She leaps in the air and nails the demon with a kick, then takes off in the opposite direction. The demon follows. When Buffy nears a tree, she hops, steps up the tree's trunk, jumps, and grabs a sturdy branch. She swings a couple of times and as the demon gets to where she is, she lands a swinging boot into the demon's face causing it to ROAR and stagger back. Buffy takes the opportunity to swing her lower body upwards to kick at the base of the branch several times, hard enough to break it. Buffy hits the ground like a cat, huge branch in hand. She breaks it into a few pieces. The demon stalks up to Buffy with fury, but gets nothing done as Buffy slices through it with the broken limb.
She goes dangerously wild, slicing and dicing and chopping and whacking the demon into a worthless pile of flesh. Buffy picks up another piece of the limb and proceeds to pound the remains relentlessly 'til there's barely anything of substance left. Buffy crushes one final blow, eyes the remnants for a second, then tosses the limb.
BUFFY And the moral of the story: (screaming) You don't mess with the slayer's woman!
Buffy stomps a stray piece of flesh. She saunters over to Faith who regains her senses and balance.
BUFFY I saved your life...so tell me about your childhood.
FAITH Where was I when that deal was struck?
BUFFY Getting whooped by the dogopotomus.
FAITH (looking around) Where is it?
BUFFY (pointing) Scattered around there.
FAITH Goodbye ego. Hello I suck.
BUFFY That's not true. You know what they say: can't slay 'em all.
FAITH I ain't talkin'!
BUFFY You told me we would.
FAITH I'm not in the mood.
BUFFY You meant it when you said it.
FAITH When I said it, I was in the mood. Now, I'm not. I'm a moody girl.
BUFFY Then get in the mood you fucked up second-stringer!
Faith takes a swing at Buffy who ducks.
BUFFY I didn't mean that last part.
FAITH Yeah you did.
BUFFY No, you're a fucked up FIRST- stringer. But you're MY first- stringer and no matter how fucked up, I still--
FAITH --don't get it. (tearing up) You can't expect me to play the game like the others. I ain't soul boy, farm boy, or soul boy jr. Their lives and unlives might not be smiles and roses, but they're not mine. (beat) Death woulda been a dream come true...and you want me to go back there?
BUFFY I wish every day and night for you to feel good--be happy. You deserve those things...and I want them for you more than anything-- more than I want them for myself because if you feel good, feel happy, then I do too.
FAITH Sounds peachy. In reality, you won't let that happen.
BUFFY It can't happen until you get rid of all the bad stuff. You have to face it and I want to help you. I want to know you.
FAITH I couldn't even if I wanted to. For you--B, I'd do whatever crap you asked of me. This--this is a hurt you couldn't imagine if you tried...and believe me you would NEVER dare try. It's not worth it.
Faith grows increasingly unstable. Buffy isn't doing too well herself. Faith streaks a finger across Buffy's cheek, off her lips down across her chest...and then walks away. Buffy's stunned for a moment.
BUFFY (loudly) Aren't I worth the pain?
Faith stops and turns around.
FAITH That's the problem--just bein' in love with you brings the pain. Why do ya think you're single?
Buffy ponders that as Faith disappears into the night. CUT TO:
INT. FAITH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Faith somberly enters, tossing her keys in the direction of a table--but she misses. She circles the small living room, then heads into the kitchen straight for the fridge. She opens it and yanks out a beer. She weighs it in her hand, admiring the bottle. Then, nonchalantly, she throws it across the room, shattering it against the wall. Faith doesn't care and proceeds down a short hall into a bedroom.
Faith scans the wildly decorated room loaded with posters and pictures, cd's, makeup, and clothes strewn wall-to-wall. Faith steps up to her dresser, opens the top drawer, and pulls out something wrapped in cloth. She unwraps the cloth revealing two superbly fashioned stakes. Faith's watery eyes focus on nearly identical engravings: the letters F and B with a heart in between--the heart has a stake through it.
Faith lovingly looks at the engravings. That love becomes determination as she looks at the phone on the nightstand. That determination quickly changes to apprehension. Her breathing gets heavy, painful. With regret, she settles herself, rewraps the stakes, and places them back in the drawer. She takes a deep breath before walking into the open closet. She relaxes inside and digs through a box until she finds that familiar worn doll.
She caresses it, resting her head back against the closet door. She shuts her eyes tight, a tear escaping down her cheek.
CUT TO:
INT. BUFFY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Buffy sits at her vanity brushing her hair. She's deliberate with her strokes, clearly wishing she was somewhere else. A KNOCK at the door brings her out of her daze.
BUFFY Yeah?
The door opens and Dawn pops in.
DAWN Hey. How went the killing?
BUFFY Killed a demon. Killed the environment. Killed Faith's ego. Killed my relationship with Faith. I'm on the FBI's most wanted list.
DAWN You and Faith all right?
BUFFY Depends on your definition of "all right".
DAWN Bad.
BUFFY Yep.
DAWN Wanna tell me about it?
Buffy gives her a look that Dawn accepts as her answer.
DAWN Understandable. Is it you or her?
BUFFY What do--
Buffy stops when she realizes the meaning.
BUFFY She won't tell me...certain things...I'd like to know about her.
DAWN I honestly don't know what to tell you. Faith is Faith--expert opinion on issues dealing with her is useless.
BUFFY Thank you for not trying.
DAWN Always my pleasure.
BUFFY How was your night?
DAWN Willow got drunker than a drunken sailor. I like Drunk Willow--she's so loose and slutty. She kissed Giles, massaged Xander's manhood, dry humped Dino, and gave Anya a lap dance.
BUFFY Wow. Did Anya like it?
DAWN She commented unrelentingly on Willow's gorgeous skin and supple buttocks.
BUFFY As long as she's not hitting on Faith...
Dawn LAUGHS. Buffy smiles.
DAWN Have a great night. Tomorrow is for worrying.
BUFFY 'Night.
Dawn moves to leave, but chooses instead to hug Buffy and kiss her on the cheek.
DAWN Be careful what you wish for.
Dawn pulls back. Buffy looks at her curiously.
DAWN Just sayin'...remember where you are. WHO you are.
Dawn slips out the door leaving Buffy to think. She gets frustrated fast though and turns the light off. She gets into bed and stares outside the window where the moonlight filters in. Before long, she enters an uncomfortable sleep.
LATER
Outside, snow falls. Outside the room, there's a THUMP, RUNNING, excited GIGGLING, YELPING causing Buffy to awaken. She GROANS and then notices the snow.
BUFFY Miracle snow was not on my list.
Buffy shakes her head. She turns her attention to the door where the unusual NOISES are amplified. Buffy gets out of bed and walks to the door. She opens and: CUT TO:
INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
This looks nothing like the Summers' hallway, a fact that freaks Buffy out. It's fairly nice lined with framed photos of a family trio and toys. A tiny brunette, no more than 4, scurries up to Buffy, letting out THRILLED SQUEALS as she grabs a doll. Buffy has no idea what the hell is going on.
BUFFY Excuse me little girl--what are you doing in my house? Or is it, what am I doing in your house? (beat) Damn hellmouth. Damn Dawn. Damn day I was called! Sorry kid-- excuse the damns.
The Girl doesn't answer. In fact, the Girl acts like Buffy's not even there which angers Buffy.
BUFFY (shouting) Hey! I asked you a question. Where's your manners? You should respect your elders. (beat) Wait...
MAN'S VOICE (OS) (with Boston accent) Where's my little firecracker?
GIRL Nowhere!
MAN'S VOICE (OS) If she's nowhere, then why do I hear her?
GIRL 'Cause you're super!
Buffy smiles. The owner of the voice, a nice-looking GUY, appears from around a corner.
GUY And that's why I always say I got the smartest Girl in the world. Come on--time to light the tree.
GIRL (whining) No. I wanna play my toys.
GUY So you don't want the three eclairs waiting for you in the living room?
The Girl's eyes bulge, immediately leading to her racing into the Guy's arms. He CHUCKLES.
GUY My Girl and her appetite. Give me five.
The Girls obliges with enthusiasm. Buffy narrows her eyes as she watches. She takes a closer look at the Girl before snapping her head in the direction of a close-up photo of the Girl. Buffy stares in disbelief.
BUFFY Oh...goddess.
The Guy and the Girl go off. Buffy, mesmerized, follows.
END ACT TWO Act
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