Chapter 37: My Horrible Conversation
A/N: This chapter is probably going to seem a little far-fetched but I based it on something that really happened to my ex. I hope you enjoy.
“Buffy, can I talk to you for a minute?” the blonde hears her mother ask. She looks up from the magazine she was flipping through and nods her head. And that’s right ladies and gentlemen, I’m back. Little miss stick-up-her-ass didn’t last a week before crawling back to me. The other narrator was a preppy chick who said the word ‘like’ way too much, and only talked about herself. Anyway, let’s get back to the story.
“Is this about that English test? I know I only got a D+, but I studied really hard Mom. I’m just not good at English,” she says and sits up. She watches her mom walk further into her room and then sit down on the edge of her bed. She has a pensive look on her face, and Buffy is starting to get very worried.
“No, sweetheart, it’s not about that. I remember how hard you and Willow studied. I know you did your best and that’s all I can ask of you,” she says and folds her hands across a one of her knees and Buffy tries not to panic. She only does that when she has some bad news.
“Ok Mom you’re really freaking me out here. Did someone die or something? Did you lose your job? Are we going lose the house?” All of the worst case scenarios start to play through Buffy’s mind. Her mom reaches out and gently rests her hand on one of her daughter’s.
“No, Buffy no one died, and I’m not going to lose my job. I know this is going to sound…a little crazy but I think this is important so please just hear me out.” Buffy nods her head and watches as her mother tries to put her thoughts into words. “You and Faith have been dating for a year and a half now, right?” Buffy very slowly nods her head and gets a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m a little concerned about it,” she says and Buffy’s eyebrows wrinkle as far as they’ll go. She has no idea what her mother is talking about. “You two are only seventeen, Buffy, and I know how much you care about Faith, but sweetie this isn’t going to last forever.” ‘How can she say that? Where the hell is this conversation going?’ “I just think maybe you need to take some time to really think about your relationship with her.” Buffy thinks very carefully about what she wants to say. The last thing she needs now is to accidentally insult her mother and get grounded for a couple of weeks.
“Why would I need to think about my relationship with her? Why are you saying all of this?” she asks, sounding lost and a little angry. Joyce sighs and takes a minute to think about how she wants to put this next part. She knows she needs to be very careful because Buffy has always been a sensitive girl, especially when it comes to the people she cares about.
“In four months you’re going to be a senior and then you’re going off to college. I just think it would be easier for you to make that adjustment if you weren’t tied down to someone.” ‘Oh my fucking God! I can’t believe she just said that.’ “Now Buffy, please don’t look at me like that. I’m not trying to be harsh. I’m just telling you what I think would be best.” All bets are off now, and Buffy doesn’t care if she insults her mother or hurts her feelings.
“Well what you think is wrong. I love Faith and I’m not going to break up with her just because you want me to.” Her tone is harsh, and her voice is low. There’s so much anger running through her right now she can barely see straight. And she has a feeling it’s about to get much, much worst.
“Honey, I’m not tying to be mean, but you’re only seventeen, you don’t know what real love is like.” Buffy stops breathing, she stops thinking, the only thing she can focus on right now is fighting against the extremely strong urge to reach out and slap her mother. “I know it seems like you love her but she’s just a high school sweetheart. When you’re in college, or after you graduate you’ll meet someone who’ll fall in love with.” There’s a long silence as mother and daughter just stare at each other.
“You need to leave,” Buffy says and her voice is as hard as titanium steel. “You’re not me. You don’t know how I feel. I love Faith, it doesn’t matter what you say. I do love her. And I’m going to be with her for as we want. If it doesn’t last forever then it doesn’t last forever but I’m not going to end our relationship sooner just because you think it’ll make things easier. And I don’t even know if I want to go to college so it doesn’t really matter.”
“Of course you’re going to college, Buffy. You’re a smart, very capable young lady and with a college diploma you can be whatever you want.” Buffy’s heard about enough of this but she’s going to argue you her side. She really just wants her mom to leave before she says something she’ll regret later. She knows if this conversation isn’t over soon then that will happen. Even if she doesn’t care now it doesn’t she won’t care if her mom cries because of something stupid, and mean that she might say.
“And if I want to marry Faith, and get artificially inseminated, and be a housewife while Faith gets a job and supports me, then that’s what I’ll do.” She knows deep down that’s not what she really wants, but that doesn’t matter. That decision is for her to make, not her mother. “I don’t know what I want to be, or do with the rest of my life. You don’t get to decide it for me, Mom. If I want to go to college and Faith and I are still dating at the end of our senior year then I’ll go to Sunnydale University. It’s a good school where I can get a good education.” Her mother shakes her head a little bit and it only frustrates the younger blonde even more.
“It’s a good school, but you can get into a great school if you set your mind to it. Maybe not any of the ivy leagues because those are really expensive, but you can get into a better school then Sunnydale University.” Buffy’s face is starting to turn red, and she has tears in her eyes, not just from the anger, but because of a strong feeling of sadness. She can’t believe her mother is disregarding her feelings like this. “I just think your relationship with Faith won’t be able to last a long separation, and you should get out before you get too involved.”
“Too involved, you mean like sleeping together?” Buffy asks and feels just a little embarrassed for asking that. If she wasn’t so angry and she would be even more embarrassed then this, but the anger is making less room for other emotions and brain functions, like her judgment just to give an example. She watches her mother nod her head a couple of times, and she scoffs. “We already slept together. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, and we’re in love, did you honestly think I would still be a virgin after all this time?”
Buffy watches as her mother face pales at the shocking news. But it shouldn’t have been that shocking. After all Buffy doesn’t have a very valid point. The two are young and in love, and after all this time it isn’t insane to think they would have been together at least once. ‘It’s not like we’re sex crazed. Sure the first day of school we did something a little crazy, but we hadn’t seen each other for three weeks, we really missed each other. We haven’t had a lot of sex. Sure we do a lot of oral, but that’s just oral, it doesn’t really count as sex.’
“I don’t know what to say,” Joyce says and runs a hand through her hair. Buffy is completely confused by the reaction. She understands why her mom is getting upset. ‘I’m her baby and she doesn’t want her baby having sex,’ she thinks and has to stop herself from rolling her eyes.
“Wait a minute, weren’t you the one who called me downstairs and told me that you wouldn’t stop me from being with her? That it was ok for me to…be intimate with her as long as I was sure I was ready? That’s what you said, so why are you wigging?” she asks with lots of irritation in her voice. She wants to end this conversation now. She wants her other to leave the room so she can sneak out and go see Faith.
“I honestly didn’t think you two would be together that long.” Buffy’s jaw clenches and her hands ball up into fists. She just can’t believe her mother is acting this way. Then she notices her expression change. Her mom doesn’t look so shocked anymore, but a little curious, and…embarrassed? “How was it before you two were first…together?” ‘Why does she want to know that? It’s none of her business.’
“That’s not really any of your business.” Her mom gives her what Buffy can only describe as a death glare, and she caves. “Six months, it was in July. She came to visit me, and she wanted to leave because it was getting late but I asked her to stay. I was ready Mom, a hundred percent sure. There was no doubt, and I don’t regret it at all.” ‘Ok, things have gotten very uncomfortable in here. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.’
“Were you safe?” Joyce asks but Buffy can tell just by the sound of her voice she only said it because she doesn’t know what else to say. She does have to give her mom a little credit for not completely wigging out on her. Still, that doesn’t stop the younger blonde from making a very sarcastic comment.
“Yeah, she made sure to wear a condom, and I’m on the pill.” Her mom gives her a very disapproving look and Buffy gets very frustrated. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, ok? It’s private, and talking about it with you is really weird since you’re my mom. We were…safe, I guess. I don’t what we need to be safe from. We can’t get each other pregnant, and neither of us have a contagious disease, or non-contagious for that matter.” Buffy quiets down when her mom puts a hand on one of her knees and gently squeezes.
“That’s not what I mean, dear. I meant, she didn’t try to make you do anything you didn’t want to do?” ‘When are people going to learn that Faith isn’t a monster?’ “Don’t you dare give me that look, young lady. I would be asking this question regardless of who your first…partner is. I just want you safe, and if you were uncomfortable with anything that happened, or if she tried to pressure you into doing something-”
“She didn’t,” Buffy quickly interrupts before her mom could go any further with that line of thinking. “She was…gentle and loving, and kept telling me I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to. She’s one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. And I’m not going to leave her.” Buffy is dead set on that, and it doesn’t matter how much her mother wants her to, she isn’t going to dump Faith just because senior year is coming up.
“Ok, dear, I was just voicing my concerns. But please Buffy, think about what I said. College won’t be so hard if your heart has time to heal before you go, then having to deal with everything at once.” Buffy nods her head even though she knows she isn’t going to think about it. She wants to be with Faith, Faith wants to be with her, there’s no sense ruining something great just because an outside party has concerns. Joyce leans over and gives her daughter a kiss on the forehead. She gently strokes the side of her head before she gets up and leaves the room, leaving a still very pissed off daughter to sit and brood.
Chapter 38: My Dinner at Faith’s
“Don’t be nervous, they’re gonna love you,” Faith says and Buffy turns her head to look at her. She gives the brunette a ‘whatever’ type of look and Faith can’t help but smile a little bit. “Come on, Buffy, don’t be like that.” Buffy tries not to smile when Faith leans in real close and gives her the ‘baby face’. “Please just calm down. Pweeeeeease?” ‘I can’t believe she’s acting like this. If only Willow and Xander could hear her now. They wouldn’t believe their ears.’
“I can’t help it. This is your family. I want them to like me. What if they think I’m really weird? Or not good enough for you and they say we can’t be together?” She’s in full panic mode right now and there’s almost nothing that can pull her out of it. Faith goes from cute and playful to dead serious in less then two seconds. ‘Jeez, I’m surprised I didn’t get whiplash from that,’ she thinks and waits for Faith to say her piece.
“Rabid Grizzly bears couldn’t keep me away from you,” ‘Awww, she’s so damn sweet,’ the blonde thinks, and plants a little peck on Faith’s lips. It only lasts a few seconds before they pull back. “I only have to live with them for another year. Just one more year then I’ll get my own place, and we can be together whenever we want.” Buffy gets a little pang in her heart at that. She her face falls a little and Faith notices right away. She brings her hand up and lightly caresses Buffy’s cheek. “What’s wrong?” The blonde looks into her dark brown orbs that are full of love and concern, and she feels guilty.
“Nothing, it’s just something my mom said to me the other night.” Faith raises an eyebrow and Buffy knows she isn’t going to get off the hook that easy. “She doesn’t think it’s a good idea for us to be together right now because senior year is going to start soon. She thinks it would make ‘the transition to college easier if my heard has had time to heal’ or something like that.” Faith gets a confused look on her face, and her hand leaves Buffy’s face and returns to her side.
“And you agree with her? Is that what this is?” she asks, sounding nervous and a little scared. The dinner at Faith’s house doesn’t start for another two hours, but Buffy wanted to meet with Faith early at the park. At first Faith thought it was just to spend some alone time together, but not she isn’t so sure. Buffy sees the look on Faith’s face, and feels stupid for not explaining further.
“No, no, no. That’s not what this is. I love you, and I’m not going to leave you just because she thinks it would be easier.” Faith instantly looks relieved and Buffy’s glad that she dodged a bullet. The last thing she needs right now is getting into an argument before she has to go over to Faith’s house for dinner with her family. “But at the same time, I can’t help but think that maybe has a point.” Faith gives her an odd look, and even though it’s killing Buffy she needs to explain it some more.
“It’s just what if I get into a great school that’s on the east coast? Are you going to move with me? Are we going to try the long distance thing? Or do we break up until I graduate and then see where we stand?” All of these questions have been haunting her for the last three days, and it’s been eating her up inside. She wants to be with Faith so bad, she’s never felt this way about anyone before, but she does need to think about her future. She only has one more year to think, and then it’ll be time to act.
“I don’t know. I never really thought about it. I’m more of a ‘live in the now’ type of person,” the brunette says and smiles a little bit. She wants to comfort her girlfriend but she doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know how to calm her down and reassure her hat everything is going to be ok, because now that the issue has been brought to her attention she isn’t sure if they are going to be ok or not. “Let’s not talk about it right now, ok? We have enough on our plate with the dinner.” Buffy furrows her eyebrows a little bit and gives her a questioning look.
“I thought you said they’re going to love me, and I don’t have anything to worry about?” she asks with a little bit of suspicion in her voice. Faith smiles and rolls her eyes a little. She holds onto Buffy’s hand and gently caresses the back of it with her thumb. The touch does calm Buffy down quite a bit, just like Faith knew it would.
“They are going to love you, but that doesn’t mean the kids won’t mess with you a little. I’ve seen it a lot. Whenever Amy would bring a boyfriend home to meet us the others would give him a lot of shit. Brian and Lauren are going to ask a lot of questions about us being together because we’re both girls, and they don’t know any other lesbians.” Buffy nods her head a little bit and makes a mental list of things to remember. ‘Ok, so expect a lot of questions, got it.’
“Tanner isn’t going to like you. He’s the littlest and I’m his favorite. He’s mad enough that I spend my weekends with you, and I don’t get home until dinner time during the week. He’ll glare and not talk to you, and he’ll want to sit on my lap and if you sit too close to me he might kick you.” ‘Avoid the little one, ok.’ “Marcus might joke around about having a threesome with him, but he’s harmless. Just tell him ya don’t drive stick and he’ll back off after a while.
“I don’t know what Natalia is gonna do. She never really paid attention to Amy’s boyfriends. Well, except with one guy but he was a hottie. Even Judy was givin him mooneyes.” Buffy raises her eyebrow at that and Faith back paddles like there’s not tomorrow. “You know what I mean, Buffy. For a guy he was pretty hot, but you know I’m all about the female persuasion.” The eyebrow is raised a little higher and Faith sighs a little bit. ‘When did I get so damn whipped?’ “I’m all about your female persuasion.” She runs her hand up Buffy’s thigh, and the message is perfectly clear.
“Damn straight you are,” she says with a little smile. She looks down at her watch and sees just how much time they’ve spent here and her eyes get a little wide. “Oh no, we’re going to be late.” She stands up from the bench and Faith is up only seconds after her. She looks down at her own watches and curses under her breath. “They’re going to think I don’t care about this or that I’m not taking them seriously. They’re going to hate me forever now.” Faith wraps her arms around Buffy from behind and gives her a gentle squeeze.
“They are going to understand when I tell them we got caught up talking and weren’t paying attention to the time. B I’ve never been on time for a family dinner in my entire life. I’ll take the heat for this one ‘cause I’m the one with the car. So let’s get going before the guys eat up all the food while Judy isn’t paying attention.” They walk to the truck and the drive to Faith’s house is silent, and a little tense. Both of them are getting nervous now, even though they won’t admit it.
‘What if they’re so mean to her that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore? She’s already talking about going off to college and leaving me behind, and what if this just gives her the perfect excuse to break it off early? See, this right here is the fucking reason I never wanted to date anyone! I get attached and then they get ripped away!’ You don’t really mean that. Being with Buffy is the highlight of your life. ‘Stay out of my fuckin head, douche bag. Nobody asked you.’
‘I don’t care how callous Faith tries to act, she needs her foster family. Their opinion does matter to her, and what if they think I’m not good enough? Our relationship isn’t perfect, it’s getting better, but there’s room for improvement. What if she thinks I’m just not worth it? I probably freaked her out with all that talk about going away to college. What if she panics and decides that we shouldn’t be together anymore. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to be with someone who is so high maintenance? Why do I always have to fuck everything up?’
Faith parks along the curb, which has been her parking spot ever since she got her license, and they both climb out. Buffy waits until Faith walks around to the other side of the truck and she looks over at her girlfriend with a very nervous expression. Faith looks a little nervous too, but she’s trying to hide it, Buffy can tell. The brunette reaches out a hand and Buffy takes it. They entwine their fingers together and walk towards the house. When Faith opens the door and they step inside, both of them smile at what they see.
“Now you three are going to be nice to her, do you understand me?” Judy asks, her hands are on her hips and her voice is very stern. Her three biological children are lined up side by side in the living room and looking up at her with a little fear. They nod their heads, but Judy still isn’t convinced they’re going to listen. “This girl is very important to Faith and you are not going to be mean to her. And Tanner, Faith isn’t yours so you need to leave them alone ok?” The little redheaded boy nods his head and he looks a little sad.
“I’m sure they’ll be just fine,” they hear a voice say. They all turn their attention to the direction it came from and they see Faith standing there, smiling but trying to look serious. “Besides they know if they’re they’ll have to answer to me.” She holds up a fist and tries to look menacing. But it’s obvious that none of them are afraid.
“Faith!” Tanner yells and runs towards her. Buffy smiles at the excited look on his face and she lets go of Faith’s hand so the other girl can pick him up. “Where were you?” He sounds so…hurt, at the fact that she wasn’t home and Buffy understands what Faith meant by ‘I’m his favorite’. ‘I thought she was just exaggerating so she wouldn’t have to say something mean like ‘Tanner’s a brat and he won’t be nice to you’. But I guess I was wrong.’
“Well, little man, I had to go get my girl so she can eat dinner with us.” Faith looks over at Buffy and the little boy looks over too. Buffy suddenly feels like she’s on display or something and she doesn’t like the strange feeling. She waves a little bit, because she isn’t sure what to do. Then she sees Faith lean in and whisper something in the little boy’s ear. When she pulls back they look at each other and he nods his head yes. Then Faith sets him down and he runs off.
“Everyone this is Buffy,” the brunette says before Buffy can ask her what that was all about. “Buffy this is Judy, Brian, Lauren and you just met Tanner.” They all exchange hellos and waves. Judy even reaches out and shakes Buffy’s hand. It’s a little surprising to the blonde, but she doesn’t mind it. Her mother is very…motherly when it comes to Faith, and now that she’s in the room full of people she can definitely see herself as just another member of the family if all goes well tonight.
“I’m sorry but dinner won’t be ready for another hour and a half. It would have been done five minutes ago, but Lauren decided to try and be Iron Chef, and the main dish didn’t survive.” She pauses for a few seconds to send a little glare to her daughter. The little brunette girl slinks back a little and Buffy can’t help but smile. ‘So far this isn’t so bad. Maybe they’ll start acting the way Faith said they would when they get used to having me here or something.’ “Buffy is lasagna alright? You’re not allergic to anything in it?” Feeling a little panicked for reasons unknown to her, Buffy starts to babble.
“Lasagna’s fine. We don’t have it a lot at my house because my sister is doesn’t like it, but I like it.” All eyes are on her and she feels like a side show freak at circus. Especially with the way Brian is trying not to laugh. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner. It’s nice to finally meet all of you.” Both Judy and Buffy give Faith a little look and the brunette avoids eye contact. Judy smiles and walks further into the house. Faith holds onto Buffy’s hand and they follow the older woman.
“You’re welcome. It’s nice to finally meet you too. To be honest I was feeling a little put off because Faith has been to your house so many times but she’s barely said a word about you.” They watch as the older woman starts putting the dish together in the glass pan. “I was starting to think she’s embarrassed by us.” She gives Faith a little sideways glance and the brunette instantly feels guilty. She lets go of Buffy’s hand and stuffs her own in her pockets.
“Why don’t you show Buffy your room?” she asks and the two teenagers give her an odd look. “Leave the door open though.” And that was what they were waiting for. Even though Judy is acting pretty cool they both knew they wouldn’t be able to go back to a bedroom without some type of motherly warning. They walk through the living room and down the hall. Buffy is looking around as much as possible, taking it all in, and trying to figure out why Faith would be embarrassed about living here.
“So, this is my room,” Faith says and opens the door at the end of the hall. “Well, not just mine. I share it with Natalia.” She leaves the door open about three inches and Buffy walks further into the room. There are two beds, against the wall to her left, and the other against the back wall. Against the wall to her right is a dresser that’s covered in jewelry and make up, and Buffy has a feeling that one is Natalia’s. ‘Unless Faith wears a lot of pink when no one else is around,’ she thinks and watches as Faith sits down on the bed against the back wall.
“This is mine. It used to be a bunk bed but after Amy moved out they took the top one off. I don’t think they’re going to be getting another foster kid any time soon since they have their hands full with us.” Buffy sits down on the bed about a foot away from Faith. She doesn’t want to sit too close because she really doesn’t want to get caught making out on her first visit to the Doriann’s. “That dresser there is mine.” Buffy looks over where Faith is pointing. The dresser is about five inches away from the door, and on the other side of it is the closet door.
“It’s not much, but it’s nice. I lucked out big time. The things that happen to girls who go into foster care sound like horror stories or something. This is Natalia’s fifth one, and she’s had some fucked up shit happen to. She doesn’t talk about it but I heard Judy and Bill talking about it when Natalia first got here. She wouldn’t talk to anyone. All she wanted to do was sit in here on her bed and be left alone.” Buffy gets a little sad at that, but she isn’t going to dwell on it. Faith explained to her once that one of the big no-no’s is feeling sorry for a foster kid. They want love and a safe place to live, not sympathy.
“What about Marcus?” Buffy asks and scoots a little closer to Faith. She has a feeling that this one is going to be bad. Judging by the look Faith has on her face now. She reaches out and links her hand with Faith’s, their fingers entwine and suddenly they both feel a lot better. “You don’t have to tell me. I was just a little curious. We can talk about something else if you want.” Faith shakes her head no and stares at something on the wall. Buffy knows whenever she does that it means the story is most likely going to be long.
“His parents were drug addicts. I mean hardcore meth heads. It got to the point where they couldn’t afford to buy it so they’d cook it up themselves. Meth is so powerful that the smoke and chemicals can burn skin, and that happened to him one day. His dad was showing him how to make it, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt because they were all dirty, and the smoke burned his chest. He has these fatty scars now. He dropped out of school when he was fourteen. His parents didn’t have jobs, so the only way his mom could make money was to turn tricks.” There’s a long pause while Faith tries to focus on the next part.
“He told me that one day he went with her to make sure she was ok, and some guy pulled up, flashed a wallet full of hundreds and said he wanted two hours with Marcus, and his mom said ok.” ‘Oh my God, I can’t even imagine what that would be like.’ “He said it wasn’t so bad, that the guy was nice enough, and afterwards he even bought him some dinner. So that’s what he started doing. Whenever his mom would leave to go hook he’d follow her and get picked up at least twice a night.” Faith pauses again, longer this time, but Buffy knows better then to talk right now.
“One night Marcus left to go stand in his usual spot even though his mom stayed home. Her and his dad made up another batch of meth but something went wrong. It exploded, and the fire took the house with it. Cops said his parents were killed instantly, so there’s nothing anybody could’ve done.” Faith looks over at Buffy and she has tears in her eyes. Buffy reaches out and softly caresses the brunette’s cheek, and they’re both quiet. Until Faith takes in a deep breath, and then lets it out very slowly.
“When he came here he was so…broken. He loved his parents, and he had a hard time with their death. You’re probably not gonna like this part.” She looks over at Buffy with an almost bashful look on her face. ‘Yeah, ‘cause the rest of this story has filled me with giggly joy,’ she thinks and just listens. “One night I got up to use the bathroom and I heard him crying. It was like three in the morning and everyone else was asleep. I went in his room to see if there was anything I could do. I just couldn’t stand seeing him like that.” ‘Ok, I think she’s getting to the part that I’m not going to like since she’s staring at her shoes now.’
“I tried to comfort him the best I could. I sat down on his bed and hugged him. I just let him cry against me. He calmed down and looked into my eyes and…it was like his soul was just broken. It made me so sad. I kissed him, and one thing kinda led to another and…it was kinda like when they do cuts in movies. One second we’re kissing, and the next I’m on my back with him on top and we’re both naked and moving around.” Buffy watches Faith’s expression change a few times from sadness, to anger, then shame, and then finally back to neutral and Buffy can’t tell what the other girl is thinking.
“Well, we already agreed not to talk about the other people we were with but I’m not mad, if that’s what you were afraid of. You saw a wounded human being who had just lost everything and you did what you could to try and make him feel better for a while.” Buffy watches as Faith lifts her head up so she’s looking directly at her and she has a look of surprise on her face. She about to lean forward and kiss those soft, inviting lips, when there’s a knock on the door.
“Dinner’s ready you two,” they hear Judy say. They both let out two big sighs and get up from the bed. Faith holds onto Buffy’s hand again and they walk out of the room together. They join the others in the kitchen and Buffy is introduced to the rest of the people who occupy the household. As dinner goes by, and everyone gets to talk Buffy figure out she had nothing to worry about in the first place. She’s a big hit with everyone, and after dessert when the two teenage lovers have to leave so the blonde can be home on time, even little Tanner is sad to see her go.
Chapter 39: My Unsettling Thoughts
“Oh God Faith,” Buffy moans and her back arches. Faith’s fingers are buried deep within the blonde’s hive and they’re working on getting that delicious honey out. Buffy forces her eyes open and she looks up at the love of her life. She watches as some beads of sweat form at Faith’s hairline, and then drip down until their on the tip of her nose. Buffy leans up and licks the salty flavored fluid and moans really loud when she feels Faith’s fingers press upward and hit her g spot.
“Right there, oh God, right there!” she yells, and her hips start bucking wildly. Faith rubs against the spot again, and her head rolls back, her eyes slam closed and her entire body tenses up. Faith watches the pleasure fall over Buffy’s face and seeing it puts a little smile on hers. “Oh God yes! Oh yes! Faith! I…ah…love you!” Her walls contract almost painfully tight around Faith’s fingers. Then her molten hot come gushes out of her, soaking the sheet beneath her.
Faith doesn’t wait before she pulls her fingers out and descends Buffy’s trembling body. She laps up the sweet, salty, musky, uniquely Buffy liquid. She watches as Buffy’s clit throbs, and her swollen lips glisten with wetness. She can’t fight the temptation, and she gives up her ‘cleaning’ of Buffy’s thighs, and takes the hard, pulsating body part into her mouth and sucks on it like she would a candy. She gently scrapes her teeth over bundle of nerves, and chuckles when the blonde shudders.
It doesn’t take long, ten minutes possibly shorter then that, for the over sensitive blonde to come again. This time the brunette gets to drink her down right away, and she doesn’t miss a drop. She’s slightly disappointed when the fluid is all gone. But then she looks at the girl in front of her and she gets an idea. She licks her lips like a starving fox looking at a henhouse. She sticks her tongue inside the other girl and starts a slow circular rotation. That is until she feels the blonde lightly kick her on the back.
“Stop. I can’t…take any…anymore,” she breaths out more then she says. She feels like every nerve ending is exposed and having Faith touch her is just a little too much. She watches the other girl crawl up the bed, and lay down next to her. Luckily Faith knows how Buffy gets after she’s had an orgasm that powerful. She knows to just lie next to her until she comes down from the high. Buffy reaches over and grabs onto one of Faith’s hands. She pulls it over to her mouth and kisses the back of it. She looks over at the brunette and she has nothing but love in her eyes.
“That was so amazing.” She glances down at Faith’s chin and smiles. “You got a little something.” She reaches out and wipes some of her come off Faith’s chin with her index finger. Then she holds it up to Faith’s mouth and watches as the brunette wraps her lips around her finger, and gently sucks on it. She can feel herself getting worked up again, but so far Faith has given her two wonderful, mind blowing orgasms. It’s the brunette’s turn for some pleasure. She pulls her finger away from the brunette and scoots down a little on the bed.
‘Now what is she up to?’ Faith thinks and watches the blonde get comfortable. She could spend all day just watching her blonde girlfriend. ‘Especially when she’s naked.’ Most of the time watching is all she really gets to do. They never get any privacy over at the brunette’s house so whenever they go there it’s just to watch a movie and cuddle on the couch, and sometimes Brian and Lauren will tease them. Whenever they go to Buffy’s it’s pretty much the same thing, only with a pesky little sister following them around.
“Kneel over my face,” she says and watches the surprised look cross the brunette’s face. Now they’ve given head in a couple different ways, but they’ve never done it like that before. Just the thought of it has Faith wetter then before. She doesn’t have to be told twice. She gets up on her knees and situates herself so there’s one on either side of Buffy’s head. She’s never carefully about pulling on the other girl’s hair. She knows from experience something like that can kill the mood instantly.
The blonde takes her time just looking at the brunette. She runs her index finger along the smoothly shaven outer lips and smiles a little when Faith shudders. She uses her thumb to spread her lips apart. Her fingers become coated in Faith’s wetness and her mouth fills with drool as she gets the overwhelming urge to lean up and taste the girl above her. She fights that urge though. Instead she teases Faith a little first. ‘She always comes harder when I tease her first,’ she thinks and blows some warm air onto Faith’s throbbing clit. The brunette girl hisses in a breath and it makes Buffy smile.
She lets of the Faith for a few seconds and holds onto her hips. She brings her closer, and she can feel her blood start to pump faster with anticipation of tasting her for the first time. Well, at least for the first time today. She uses her thumbs to hold Faith open, and she runs the tip of her of her tongue up and down her slit. She hears Faith’s breathing increase and she hisses in a breath. ‘She’s holding back, that’s weird,’ she thinks and decides to up her game a little.
She focuses her attention on the throbbing bundle of nerves. First she licks it with the tip of her tongue, just teasing little touches that make the brunette hiss in breaths like she’s in pain. ‘Ok, enough teasing,’ she decides and ups her game. She dips her tongue into Faith’s smoldering hot entrance, and listens in satisfaction as Faith moans deeply. Buffy’s breathing increases ten fold when the brunette starts to push herself against the tongue that’s deep inside of her.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Faith whispers over and over as she slowly rides Buffy’s face. The key here is self control. She doesn’t want to get too overzealous and hurt the blonde or accidentally suffocate her. Going slow is what she needs to do even if she wants to do let loose and ride Buffy like there’s no tomorrow. “Oh God, Buffy. Do that again.” The blonde eagerly complies, and hums a little more. She starts to lightly bob her head along with Faith’s slow thrusting, and the brunette loses a lot of the control she was working on.
“Oh fuck yes!” she yells and rides Buffy’s tongue harder and harder and the blonde keeps up with her thrust for thrust. Buffy watches Faith very closely, and even though she doesn’t have the best of her face from this angle she can still tell that she’s getting close. She lets go of the brunette’s hips and as soon as she does Faith starts thrusting even harder. Buffy gently rubs Faith’s clit with her thumb, and when the other girl can barely breathe, she presses down on it hard.
“Oh yes! Yes! Yeeessssssssssss!” Faith screams. Her walls constrict tightly around Buffy’s tongue, her entire body is tense, and she has to lean against the wall to hold herself up. The blonde slowly pulls out, and wipes off her messy face. She reaches up and pulls Faith down. The brunette falls next to Buffy’s side and stares up at the ceiling with a big smile on her face. She glances over at her lover and the happiness goes away. “I hurt you.” Her eyebrows furrow and she reaches out to lightly touch Buffy’s now bruised nose.
“No, I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.” But Faith doesn’t look convinced. She even starts brooding a little bit. Buffy gets a little smile on her face and snuggles up against Faith. She rests her head on her shoulder and wraps an arm around her stomach. “Now don’t be like that. Seeing that big grin on your face was worth it. I’m just glad I made you feel just as good as I did.” She leaves a little kiss on Faith’s shoulder and the brunette sighs.
“I can’t believe I hurt you. I just lost control. I knew I had to be careful but I just couldn’t. You made me crazy.” Buffy chuckles and Faith lets out another sigh. “It’s not funny, B. I could’ve really hurt you.” Now it’s Buffy’s turn to adopt a serious tone.
“Faith, do you really think I would have sat there and done nothing if you were really hurting me?” she asks and the brunette doesn’t respond. “I’m not the fragile little girl that everyone thinks I am. I can handle myself.” She leaves a play nip on the top of Faith’s breast and she smiles as she gets comfortable. ‘I love basking in the afterglow,’ she thinks and starts to trace invisible patterns on Faith’s smooth stomach. ‘It’s my favorite part.’ Excuse me, and what about those two orgasms you had about half an hour ago? ‘Alright, fine it’s my second favorite part.’
“Mom and I are going to Stanford this weekend to check it out,” Buffy says and starts to circle Faith’s belly button. “You should come with us. Get a little taste of what college life is going to be like.” Faith sighs and stops running her fingers through Buffy’s hair. There’s a long, slightly uncomfortable silence between them and then tension is starting to grow and settle in. Even though all of the warning signs are flashing in bright neon colors, Buffy doesn’t stop.
“There’s this thing that the school does every once in a while, when you go there and actually get to stay in a dorm room for the weekend. And you eat in the cafeteria, and meet some of the professors. There’s a fee, but I heard it’s worth it.” Faith sighs, and sits up, carefully pushing Buffy off of her in the process. She gets up and goes over to her dresser. She pulls out a large t-shirt and some underwear. While she does that Buffy sits up in the bed and pulls the blanket over her chest. “Are we ever going to talk about this?” She doesn’t sound irritated, a little sad, but there’s no anger in her voice.
“Talk about what?” Faith says after some hesitation. She puts the shirt on and then the underwear. She glances over at Buffy but she doesn’t look her in the eye. “Do you want baby blue, or red?” She holds up the two different colored shirts and gives Buffy a questioning look. She’s been avoiding this subject ever since the blonde brought it up the first time. The last time it was brought up Faith got very upset, and by upset I mean angry. She instantly told Buffy she had to go and didn’t even say an ‘I love you’ before hanging up the phone. That was two months ago and it hasn’t been brought up since.
“Red,” the blonde says and sits up a little straighter. “Don’t play dumb, Faith, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Our senior year starts in two weeks. We need to figure out what we’re going to do.” Ever since her mother brought up those upsetting issues back in April Buffy’s brain has been thinking about them almost nonstop. She wants to find a way to go to school and be with Faith at the same time, but the other girl is very uncooperative to talk about it.
“If I go to an east coast school will you wait for me? Are we strong enough to handle that type of separation? It’s nine months of being apart. The only time we’d see each other is on holiday breaks, and in the summer. I could barely stand to be away from you when I was at my dad’s and that was only in L.A.” Those are all very good points, and Faith knows it. What’s worst is Buffy knows that Faith knows, she can see it written all over her face. She’s just too scared to admit it.
“You decide what you want to do. If you want to go to an east coast school then go. Don’t base your decision on me,” Faith says. She sounds cold, and a little heartless, but only because this is tearing her up inside. ‘Buffy deserves the best education she can get, and I don’t want to ruin it for her,’ she thinks and tosses the red shirt to the blonde who is sitting on the bed, and looking slightly wounded. “I have to check on Tanner.” She leaves the room before the blonde can say anything.
Buffy sighs and tries hard to fight off the tears that want to build up in her eyes. She just doesn’t understand why Faith refuses to talk about it. ‘Doesn’t she understand that I would stay here with her if she asked me to? I would go to Sunnydale University and we could stay together. Why won’t she just open up and talk with me about it? She’s so damn stubborn sometimes.’
She slips on the oversized t-shirt and gets out of the bed. She walks into the bathroom and takes a short shower to wash the smell of sex off of her body. If it were up to her she would leave it on because she loves smelling Faith on her. She likes other people being able to smell it too because then they know that she’s already spoken for. She finishes washing her hair, and she gets out of the shower. She dries off with one of the large fluffy towels and goes back into Faith’s room.
She dresses and uses the hair dryer Faith and Natalia share. She has to make sure that she puts her hair exactly the way it was when Judy, Bill and the others left this morning. Marcus and Natalia are staying over at their friends’ houses, and the two parents decided it would be nice to take the kids to the beach. Since Tanner had a fever last night Faith volunteered to stay home and watch him. Judy said that Buffy could come over for a while as long as they stayed out of the bedrooms.
She leaves Faith’s bedroom when she’s done putting her hair back in a pony tail, and walks down the hall. She listens very carefully and slowly walks across the wooden floor and she stops when she hears Faith’s voice. She follows the sound and stands in a doorway. ‘So, this is the boys’ bedroom?’ she thinks and looks around. There are toys all over the floor, and the beds aren’t made, but that’s typical among children.
The thing that’s holding her attention the most right now is the very adorable scene of Faith sitting on the edge of Tanner’s bed, running her fingers through his ginger hair, and speaking in a soothing voice. She feels a little pang of longer in her heart, and she gently rubs her stomach. ‘I want that,’ she thinks as she watches Faith lean over and plant a little kiss on Tanner’s forehead. The little boy giggles a little and squirms around in the bed. His fever has gone down, but according to the conversation he’s having with the older girl, he has a ‘tummy ache’.
‘I want to have a family with her.’ Yeah, but you’ve wanted it for a while now. ‘Shut up I have not.’ Oh really? So you don’t know how many kids you want, and you don’t already have their names picked out? ‘Shut up. You’re just a narrator what do you know?’ Anything and everything about you. ‘Whatever. If you know everything then how many kids do I want, and what are the names?’ You want two girls: Amelia ‘Amy’ Rose, and Kathryn ‘Katie’ Leigh. ‘Whatever. That doesn’t prove anything.’
Standing here watching Faith being so sweet with that little boy is just reminding Buffy of all the decisions she’s going to be forced to make. This is the last year of her high school career, and because of it there are going to be a lot of things to think about. Not just about college, but also the type of occupation she’s going to want when she graduates college. Her mother has made it very clear that she can work at the gallery during the summers to give her a little taste of what that’s like. But she isn’t sure if running an art gallery is something she wants to do.
“Faith, I need to go. My mom wanted me home about fifteen minutes ago.” Faith gets up and walks up to the blonde. She knows that things between them aren’t exactly perfect, but she can play dumb for a little while longer. She wraps her arms around the blonde and kisses her on the lips. Buffy responds right away, but before things can deepen they’re interrupted by the laughter and squeals of the little boy lying in the bed. “Bye Tanner, I’ll see you later.” She leaves one last kiss on Faith’s lips before she leaves the house. The walk to hers isn’t long, about fifteen minutes, and she really wants that time to think. ‘Are Faith and I strong enough to last, or is this just a high school romance?’
