Chapter 22: My Trip to the Mall

The following morning the not-so-giddy blonde makes her way up the stairs of Sunnydale High, through the front doors, and towards her locker. Today is the day she’s going to confront Faith about the phone call, and hopefully the brunette will have a good explanation. As she walks down the halls she can’t help but notice that a lot of her fellow students are watching her.

‘Ok, so I have something huge and highly noticeable on my face?’ No, your face is fine. Everyone is keeping a close eye on the blonde transfer student, because today is also the day that Percy West will be coming back to Sunnydale High after a three week stay in the hospital. Faith did a lot of damage with those heels. She’s lucky Percy is too embarrassed to tell his mom and dad that he was beaten up a by a girl or she’d be in jail right now.

When Buffy reaches her locker she opens up the door and takes out the book she’ll need but she doesn’t close the door right away. Instead, she stares at the emptiness that is the inside of the locker door. ‘I should put some pictures of Faith in here. I mean, I did that at Hemery with my boyfriends. Why shouldn’t I put up a picture of Faith?’ She closes the locker door and smiles when she feels two arms wrap around her. She leans into the warm body standing right behind her. ‘I love it when she does this,’ she thinks and giggles as Faith leaves little butterfly kisses along her neck.

“How did I end up with the hottest girl in school?” the brunette whispers and gently tickles the blonde’s stomach. Buffy giggles and squirms out of Faith’s grasp. She looks into the dark brown eyes of the girl she’s falling for, and her good mood drops a little. ‘I still need to ask her about the phone call,’ she thinks and gives Faith a small smile. ‘I have to be casual about this. I don’t want her knowing I had a little freak out yesterday.’

“I called your cell phone yesterday,” she says as the two start walking down the hall toward their first class. She glances at the brunette out of the corner of her eye, and watches for any change in expression that could be cause for concern. “Some girl answered. She didn’t tell me her name, but she said she’d tell you I called. How come you didn’t call me back?” They stop outside of the classroom and Faith leans against the wall as they wait for the bell to ring.

“I was at my brother’s place yesterday, I forgot my phone in my room. Amy probably answered. She’s my foster sister, we have to share a room and she still hasn’t learned not to touch my stuff.” ‘That doesn’t explain why she sounded breathless,’ the blonde thinks and tries not to sigh. “I didn’t get home ‘til late so I didn’t wanna call. So, what did you want?” ‘She’s not acting nervous or anything, and she told me she doesn’t want to be with anyone but me, but how do I know that for sure? I’ve been grounded, it’s not like we hang out a lot after school. How do I know she’s really at her brother’s?’

“My sister wants to go to the mall with one of her friends, but they can’t go alone. So my mom wants me to play babysitter, and she said it’s ok if you go with me, if you want to. I was kind of hoping you would so I don’t have to be alone with a couple of fifth graders all day.” She puts on her best pout and Faith can’t help but smile. ‘She is so fuckin cute, and she is using it against me. Why did I tell her I love that pout? Now she’s gonna use it all the time.’ “I can make it very worth your while.” The brunette gets a very mischievous smile on her face, which is exactly what the blonde wanted.

“Oh really?” she asks and raises an eyebrow. Buffy nods her head, and leans against the wall standing close enough to Faith that their arms are slightly touching. As if her hand has a mind of its own, the brunette entwines their fingers together as they continue to smile at each other. ‘Ya know, this is kind of sappy. When did I turn into such a pussy? Oh right, when I went down on Buffy’s.’ “And what exactly did you have in mind?” The prospect of fooling about with the blonde never fails to get her juices flowing.

“Well, since my kid sister is going to be there nothing above PG rated can happen at the mall, but I was thinking I can make it up to you.” Buffy leans in very close to the slightly taller girl and leaves a little kiss on the warm skin of Faith’s neck. Then she whispers into the other girl’s ear, her lips lightly brush against the soft flesh. “I feel the need for a little after-school tutoring session.” ‘Ok, that sounded a little lame, but by the sound of that little whimper I think it did the trick. Faith swallows hard and looks over at the blonde.

“That sounds perfect,” she says with a small smile, but then the smiles goes away and is replaced with something that Faith has never felt before regarding another girl: nervousness. ‘Well, I have felt this way before with Anna, but that was a long time ago,’ she thinks and clears her throat. “If you want to do it. You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it.” She manages to get out in one long breath. She opens her mouth to keep talking, but Buffy cuts her off with a kiss. No tongue is involved because the blonde knows if they get caught making out in the hallway by a teacher or the principal then they’ll get suspended for sure.

“I want to,” the blonde says when they pull away. Kissing the brunette for even a second can feel like hours, and Buffy loves that feeling. “Like you said it’s only third base, just as long as I don’t go inside you.” Saying that out loud makes the blonde blush all different shades of red. Faith smiles at Buffy’s sudden bashfulness. But then she gets serious as she prepares to say something she’s been thinking for a while. Right when she opens her mouth to voice her thoughts the bell rings, and many students start walking past them to get into the class.

“We’ll talk later, ok? We can eat lunch alone today.” Buffy smiles at the thought but then shakes her head a little bit and gets a ‘please understand’ look on her face. ‘Great, so it’s lunch with the super geeks,’ Faith thinks and forces herself not to sigh. “Alright, then we can talk after school.” Buffy smiles and gives Faith a little kiss on the cheek and they walk into class. ‘Am I ever gonna have her all to myself?’ the somewhat disgruntled brunette thinks as she sits down at her desk.

The fact that she’s worked up and can’t do anything about it is putting her in a very bad mood. If she hadn’t told Buffy that she would take her and her sister to the mall then she would just ditch and go home and work off this tension growing between her legs. ‘Today is going to suck so much,’ she thinks as she doodles in her notebook. She normally doesn’t doodle, but today she doesn’t feel like doing anything else. The only other thing to do would be to sit and listen to the teacher and that would require her to hold still, and she can’t do that right now.

The day seems to fly by for Buffy. She spends lunch with Willow and Xander like she promised them she would. Because of her grounding situation she can’t see Faith anywhere else but school and she’s been spending a lot of time with her, and she thinks she’s been neglecting her friends a little. Faith has her own group of friends that she hangs out with because she thinks that Willow and Xander don’t like her very much, and she’s right.

It’s not that they don’t like her, but their minds still haven’t changed about what type of person Faith is. They still view her as the heartbreaking bitch who stole Anna’s heart and put it in a blender. Seeing how nice she is with Buffy only makes it worse. They know Faith’s intentions aren’t good, and she’s acting like she cares. They know that after Faith gets what she wants then she’s going to split, and Buffy is going to be really hurt. They don’t want to see their friend hurt, but it seems the only way the blonde is going to learn about the brunette is if she experiences it first hand.

When the last bell of the day finally rings both girls are very relieved. Faith is relieved because now she doesn’t have to sit down, and stay still. Buffy is relieved because her math class is possibly the most boring class in the entire world. ‘Ok so maybe not the most boring class ever, but I can barely stay awake. I wish Faith had that class with me, it would be a lot less boring that way,’ she think as she walks out to the parking lot. Every day after school Buffy meets Faith at her rust bucket of a truck, and today is no different.

“Hey sexy,” Faith practically purrs when Buffy walks up to her. She steps forward and wraps her arms around the blonde girl’s waist. She kisses the blonde hard on the mouth. Her tongue refuses to be denied as she runs it along Buffy’s bottom lip. The blonde is too caught up in the moment to remember that they’re in the parking lot of the school, and she opens her mouth for Faith to explore. Kissing the blonde like this is, smelling her sweet perfume, and feeling her soft skin is revving Faith up even more.

‘God what is this girl doing to me?’ she thinks to herself as she tightens her grip on Buffy’s waist. She turns them around and presses Buffy up against the door of the truck. She rubs her hands along the blonde’s side, grazing the sides of her breasts with each pass. The feeling makes the blonde’s nipples grow hard, and Faith can feel them through the material of their shirts and bras. Just thinking about taking those nipples in her mouth, lightly nipping them, and strongly sucking on them, is making the brunette even wetter then she was before.

“I need...air,” Buffy quickly says when she pulls her lips away from Faith’s. She smiles a little when the brunette rests her forehead against the slightly shorter girl’s. ‘I love it when she gets all cuddly,’ Buffy thinks and rubs the tips of their noses together. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what has gotten into you?” She giggles at the tickling sensation when Faith leaves some little butterfly kisses on the blonde’s neck.

“You have,” Faith whispers and instantly regrets it because of how sappy it sounds. Buffy doesn’t seem to mind though. She smiles and gives Faith a small kiss on the lips. The kisses start out soft, and gentle, but they grow until Faith is pressing Buffy against the metal door and their tongues are battling for dominance. Faith’s desire to take the blonde right here and now is growing, and she knows if she doesn’t stop she’ll do something stupid. “We better get going. Wouldn’t want to keep little sis waiting too long.”

“You just had to remind me about that,” Buffy says with a small groan. “She’s going to be pissy about you tagging along.” Faith looks a little confused at that. She’s never met Dawn and hasn’t had the chance to make any type of impression. So why would the adolescent be mad about Faith joining the shopping trip? “She thinks we’re going to be all over each other, and acting all gaga and moon eyed. I told her we do have self-control, but she doesn’t believe me.” Faith sees an opening and happily takes it.

“Well, we were just making out in the school parking lot where everyone can see us, so maybe she’s a little right,” the brunette says with a mischievous smile. Buffy lets out a little irritated noise and gives Faith a little smack on the arm. “Oooh, baby, I like it rough.” Buffy blushes and lightly pushes Faith away from her. She’s slowly getting used to Faith’s teasing and sexual innuendoes but she still gets embarrassed and a little uncomfortable.

“We need to get going or Dawn is going to be pissed,” she says and takes a few steps away from the brunette. Faith knows that she’s overstepped her bounds and she feels bad about it. But at the same time she knows that Buffy is starting to get used to her teasing. And she knows this because Buffy isn’t babbling a million miles a minute, and almost hyperventilating. So the two hop into Faith’s truck and make their way to Dawn’s school.

Sunnydale Middle School isn’t very far from Sunnydale High, but the drive there feels like forever. They’re both turned on, their bodies are very aware of one another, and the urge to pull the truck over to the side of the road and fuck like rabbits is almost overwhelming. They stay calm though, and listen to the radio as they try to ignore what their bodies are telling them to do. It’s harder for Faith then it is for Buffy. The brunette was used to having sex on a semi-regular basis, her body was able to release the tension whenever it built up, but she cut off that release and now she’s suffering the withdrawals.

‘Why did she have to kiss me like that?’ Buffy thinks and starts to chew on her thumb nail. ‘I want her so bad now, I’ve never felt like this before. Sure I’ve been horny, but this is completely different. It’s like if I don’t have her inside me soon I’ll die.’ She knows how stupid that sounds, and she knows she’s going to be fine, but her body is definitely in hyper drive. ‘Let’s just hope it cools down before we get to the mall. Dawn will freak out if I can’t keep my hands to myself.’

“There she is,” Buffy says and points over at the two girls waiting in front of the school. Faith pulls her rust bucket up to the curb and keeps her foot on the break. No use shutting it off when they’re going to leave right away. “Hey Dawn,” the blonde says in a friendly tone and opens the door. She scoots closer to Faith, making room for the two girls and red flags start going off in her mind. ‘I have to be pressed up right against Faith. Please, please God, give me some more self-control.’

“Hey Buffy,” Dawn says as she hops into the truck and sits next to her sister. She looks over at the driver and her eyebrows raise a little bit. “So, you’re Faith, huh?” The blonde glares at her little sister for the tone that the smallest brunette used. She sounds suspicious, and curious, but mostly suspicious. ‘She better not say anything about my meltdown yesterday or I’ll kill her.’ When Janice hops in and closes the door Faith eases off the break and eases the truck onto the road.

“Yep, the one and only,” Faith says and gives the younger girl a charming smile. “So are you girls ready to shop ‘til you drop?” They smile and nod their heads and Buffy gives Faith’s thigh a little squeeze. She knows when Faith turns up the charm it’s to try and win someone over into liking her. ‘I thought she would care less about Dawn, but I guess not,’ she thinks and only half listens as Dawn and Janice ramble on and on about some of the other kids in their class.

‘When are we going to get there?’ Buffy thinks and gives Faith’s thigh a little pinch. She smiles to herself as the other girl gives a little start. She’s surprised when Faith gives her a little pinch back. ‘So she wants to play does she?’ Buffy pinches Faith back a little harder then last time and she tries not to laugh. She watches Faith’s hand sneak it’s way from the steering wheel and it makes its way down towards Buffy’s thigh. The blonde jumps away from the fingers trying to pinch her and it causes her to bump roughly into Dawn.

“Jeez, Buffy, watch what you’re doing,” the pre-teen says in a very irritated tone. Buffy rolls her eyes but she doesn’t say anything. If Dawn had bumped her like that she would be kind of pissed. “I thought you said Sunnydale is small, how come it’s taking so long?” Buffy sighs and shakes her head a little bit. ‘She’s right this is taking a long time.’ She looks out the window and realizes she has no idea where they are. ‘Ok, where is she taking up?’

“I’m taking the back way. School just got out so there’s gonna be a lot of people on the main roads. This’ll take a couple minutes longer but we won’t hit any traffic.” ‘That’s a good idea. I have such a smart girlfriend,’ Buffy thinks with a small smile. She rests her head on Faith’s shoulder and gives her neck a little kiss. Her smiles gets a little bigger when Faith softly rubs her cheek against the top of Buffy’s head.

“Do you guys have to be so sickening?” Dawn asks and gets an elbow to the ribs from Buffy. “Ouch, God I was just joking. You don’t have to be such a jerk.” Buffy sighs and tunes Dawn out as she start talking to Janice again. It doesn’t take long for them to get to the mall. As soon as Faith finds a parking lot and shuts off the truck the two younger girls jump out. They don’t walk far because Dawn knows if she wanders off then Buffy will nark on her, and she’ll be grounded too.

“Alright ladies, let’s do some shopping,” Faith says and wraps an arm around Buffy’s waist. The blonde similes as they walk into the air conditioned building where most of Sunnydale’s stores are kept. The pre-teens don’t wait for the older two before they start walking in the direction of the store they want to go to. Buffy and Faith trail not far behind, keeping enough distance so they can talk with a little privacy.

“So when you said we have to baby-sit your sister that wasn’t code for we’re going to drop them off and then go do our own thing?” Faith asks as they walk into the pet store. Buffy laughs a little bit and then stops to look at the puppies. She lets out an ‘awww, how cute,’ and then gives Faith a big pout. That makes the brunette chuckle a little bit and she gives Buffy a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry babe, but I’m sure your mom would kill me if I bought you a puppy.” Then the blonde gets an idea.

“But you could keep it at your house, and we can walk it together and teach it tricks, and it can be both of ours.” The image of walking down the sidewalk hand-in-hand with Faith with a happy go lucky puppy zigzagging back and forth and barking at the squirrels and cats in the neighborhood puts a smile on the blonde girl’s face.

“If I brought a dog home my foster parents would kill me, and how are we gonna do all that stuff when you’re grounded?” ‘She just has to bring reality into this, doesn’t she?’ With a large sigh Buffy scratches the nose of the puppy she wanted to get, and a frown appears on her face. Faith has to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from smiling. The blonde looks so cute right now that Faith just wants to kiss her, but she doesn’t want Buffy to get mad at her.

“Bye little puppy. I hope you find a good home,” she says and Faith rolls her eyes at the melodrama. ‘Jeez, everything is life or death with her isn’t it?’ They start to walk towards the back of the store where the two younger girls are looking at the dog toys, but then Buffy spots something. It’s a separate room with the door wide open. Inside is dark except for the lights coming from the different fish tanks. ‘Bingo,’ Buffy thinks and gets a small smile on her face.

“Faith, lets go look at the fish. All the different colors are really pretty,” she says and Faith sighs a little. “Aw, poor you. Your girlfriend wants you to take her into a dark room where no one else can see you, so she can see you without getting kicked out of the store. Poor little baby.” Faith starts laughing a little too loudly as they walk towards the aquarium room. The other customers, and the sales clerk give them odd looks but they go unnoticed.

When they first step into the dark room Buffy is distracted by all of the different colors and the large amount of exotic fish in the many aquariums. The feel of Faith’s lips lightly kissing her neck tickles her skin and causes her to giggle and snap out of her little trance. They wander around the large room until they find a nice spot by the seahorses. Faith wraps her arms around the blonde girl’s tiny waist and looks deeply into her soft hazel eyes.

‘God, she’s so sexy. I can’t wait until I get her on her back and she’s screaming my name,’ Faith thinks as she leans down and presses her lips softly against Buffy’s. The blonde instantly reciprocates and lets out a soft moan. She can’t help it, and she wouldn’t even think of hiding it if she could. Faith has her pretty worked up from earlier, and now that she’s kissing her again it’s like adding more fuel to an out of control fire.

‘But I’m not out of control. If I were out of control I’d let her go below the belt, and there will be none of that today,’ she thinks as she parts her lips and allows Faith access to her hot and wanting mouth. ‘That’s not the only part of me that’s hot and wanting. It would be so easy because I’m wearing a skit. All she would have to do is slip her hand down there and under my panties, and I’d part my legs a little more and she could go inside me.’ Just imagining Faith doing that makes the blonde moan very loudly.

“Ok, B, we gotta stop,” Faith says as she pulls back quickly. Her breathing is labored and heavy and her eyes are fully dilated not only because of the darkness of the room but from the heavenly sounds coming from the blonde. The brunette knows that if they don’t stop soon then she’s going to reach a point of no return and she doesn’t want to cross that line. Buffy wants it to be special and losing her virginity in the aquarium section of a pet store doesn’t exactly sound like something she’d look back on and smile about.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Buffy says and leans her forehead against the slightly taller girl’s. ‘I’m glad no one heard that. I can’t believe I moaned that loud. I wonder if that’s what I’ll sound like during my first time,’ she thinks and concentrates on bringing her breathing back to normal. When it’s slowed and her face feels like it’s cooled down some, she looks up at Faith and she can see the flush still on the other girl’s face. ‘She must be really worked up. Too bad I can’t do anything about it now. Maybe later.’

“I almost forgot,” she says and gets a small smile on her face. “My mom said it’s ok if you come over for dinner tonight. I know the last one didn’t go so well, but she’s willing to try and get to know you some more.” She can tell by the look that appears in Faith’s eyes that the younger girl is going to protest. “I know I’m asking a lot, but I know that if my mom just gets to know you a little better then she’ll be more willing to un-ground me. Please Faith, do this for me?” She puts on her best pout and watches as the other girl thinks it over.

“Alright, I’ll go,” she says with a little sigh. Buffy squeals with joy and wraps Faith up in a big hug. The brunette hugs her back for a minute or two and then she pulls back. “But I wanna go home and change first. I really don’t think she’ll like the fact that you work me up so much.” Buffy blushes and looks away from the other girl. “Hey, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, B. No one’s ever got my juices flowin as much as you. You should be proud.” ‘I could take that in so many wrong ways,’ she thinks and smiles a little bit.

“I am a little proud, but I’m just not used to talking about that kind of thing with other people. What goes on between a girl’s legs is supposed to be private.” Faith just smiles and shakes her head a little bit, and then Buffy gets a somewhat bad thought. Now we all know that thinking and the blonde have never gone well together, especially when she gets suspicious about something. It is possible that her thinking could ruin this good thing they have going.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you bragged to your friends about what happened?” Faith looks a little confused and Buffy’s cheeks burn with embarrassment as she puts her thoughts into words. “You know, when you went down on me. You haven’t told anyone about that, have you?” She stares deeply into the dark eyes and looks for any sign of panic or anything that could indicate that she’s about to be lied to.

“No, B, I haven’t. What we do is our business. No one else needs to know,” Faith says and gives the blonde a little peck on the lips. “We better get going. I think the squirts are ready to go somewhere else.” She takes a step back out of the blonde girl’s slight embrace and holds onto her hand. The two walk out of the aquarium room in silence and Buffy has a feeling that something bad just happened, she just isn’t sure what.

Chapter 23: My Emotional Roller coaster

The leading lady of this story sits a little impatiently on the couch. Faith dropped them off forty-five minutes ago and said she’d be back in half an hour. She’s fifteen minutes late and Buffy is starting to think that maybe she isn’t going to show up. ‘I really hope she shows up. My mom went all out and ordered Chinese food. She only does that for the people she likes. If she doesn’t show up my mom will never let us go out.’

The blonde give a small start when the doorbell rings. She’s on her feet in seconds and heading for the front door. She hears Dawn complain that they had to wait for Faith, and that the food it probably cold. Buffy just rolls her eyes and opens the door. ‘Ok, so she’s obviously trying to impress my mother,’ she thinks and eyes Faith up and down. She can’t help the small smile that appears on her face. It’s safe to say that the blonde likes this little make over.

The first thing she notices is Faith’s make up, or more accurately is the lack of Faith’s make up. The dark eyeliner, dark eye shadow and dark lipstick are gone. Instead Faith is going for a more natural look and is using only earthy colors. Her clothes are a little different than what she normally wears. Jeans, and a tank top yes, but they’re not dark colors. The jeans are light blue, and the tank top is white with a large red rose across the front. Her hair is just as unruly as it always is and Buffy knows that it would take longer then half an hour to tame it.

“Sorry I’m late,” Faith says and shifts around as if she’s uncomfortable. “My truck wouldn’t start.” She stops and gives Buffy this look like she’s waiting for something. The blonde is still a little shocked by the brunette’s appearance to notice the expression. “Are you gonna let me in or are we gonna stand out here all night?” ‘What’s with the tone?’ Buffy thinks and steps aside to let Faith in. The brunette walks past her without another word. The blonde’s eyebrows furrow and she closes the door.

“Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t mention this before,” Buffy says and faces the brunette in the foyer. ‘Jeez, what’s her problem? Did she have a fight with her brother or foster parents before she came here?’ the blonde thinks and tries to look like she doesn’t notice Faith’s bad mood. ‘I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk about it in here. I’ll see if she wants to talk later.’ “But my mom has some special rules about tonight. She doesn’t want us going up to my bedroom, or making out, and if Dawn wants to hang out with us we have to let her.” The blonde is expecting Faith to make some jokes or give her a ‘your mom is crazy’ type of look but she doesn’t get either of those.

“No problem,” she says and lets out a little sigh. ‘Seriously what is her problem? I hope she isn’t like this all night or Mom probably won’t un-ground me. And if she doesn’t un-ground me then Faith and I will never be able to spend some legitimate girlfriend time together. The sneaking around is fun and everything, but eventually we’re going to get caught. Ok, stop obsessing. Faith knows how important this dinner is, so I know she’ll come through.’

“We better hurry and get into the dining room. Mom ordered Chinese and Dawn’s not the most patient person in the world when she’s hungry.” ‘Oh God, I hope that didn’t sound bitchy. I wasn’t trying to sound bitchy. Damn, I hope she doesn’t think I’m blaming her for being late. That truck is a piece of crap and it isn’t her fault.’ Buffy tries to take Faith by the hand but the brunette starts walking towards the dining room, ignoring the blonde completely.

“It’s nice of you girls to join us,” Buffy’s mom says and gives the girls a small smile. Buffy rolls her eyes when she sees that her sister is already digging into the food. ‘She couldn’t wait two more minutes?’ she thinks and takes her seat. She watches as Faith sits down on the opposite side of the table. ‘Why is she sitting there? She probably thinks my mom doesn’t want her sitting next to me. Well, I guess better safe than sorry.’

“Sorry I’m so late, but my truck wouldn’t start,” Faith says as she sits down. She watches for any sign that Buffy’s mom is mad at her. ‘’Cause that’s just what I need right now,’ she thinks. ‘She’s still smiling so I guess she isn’t mad.’

“That’s ok. The only one getting impatient was Dawn,” the mother says and glances at her youngest daughter. “Well, dig in. I ordered extra everything so feel free to have seconds or thirds if you like.” ‘Is she calling me fat?’ Faith thinks and starts to load up her plate. There’s an awkward pause as everyone puts the yummy smelling food on their plates. Faith has no idea what to say so she stays quiet. Buffy wants to say something but it’s personal and she’d rather not say it in front of her mother and sister.

Buffy looks into Faith’s eyes from across the table and she smiles a little smile. But it goes away very quickly when Faith looks down at her plate and takes a large bite of the chicken chow mein and pan fried noodles. ‘Why is she acting like this? I get that she doesn’t want to sit by me because she doesn’t want to make Mom mad, but why won’t she smile at me? Mom won’t get mad if she smiles at me. Did I do something wrong?’

“Faith?” Joyce says and the brunette looks over at her almost immediately. The other two girls look at her as well, but Dawn’s attention can only be held for so long when she’s eating. The little hairs on the back of the blonde’s neck stand up and she gets a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. ‘This can’t be good,’ she thinks and slurps up a noodle. “I know the last dinner we had together ended badly, and I’d like to apologize. I was out of line-”

“No, Mrs. Summers, you weren’t. I wouldn’t trust me either if I believed half of what the good people of Sunnydale have to say about me,” Faith says somewhat sarcastically at the ‘good people’ part, and takes a drink of water. Much like her daughters, Joyce is a very stubborn woman and when she gets her mind set on something there is no changing it.

“I should have given you the benefit of the doubt.” Faith goes to interrupt but Joyce will have none of it. “Now Faith, don’t argue.” She gives the brunette the ‘mom look’ and Faith stays quiet. ‘This is bullshit. She shouldn’t apologize to me. Especially not in front of Buffy and Dawn. This is so embarrassing,’ she thinks and takes a bite from her shrimp. “You and Buffy have been dating for a little over a month now, and I’ll be honest I didn’t expect you to be around this long.” Buffy glares at her mother and then sends Faith an apologetic look. ‘This is so embarrassing. Why is she talking about this now? Why is she talking about it at all?’

“I care about her a lot,” Faith says and then looks over at the blonde. Their eyes meet and for Buffy it’s like the whole world is fading away under Faith’s intense gaze. “She’s one of the few people I trust, and I’d never hurt her.” ‘Ok, why does it sound like she’s implying something else?’ the blonde thinks and Faith looks away. ‘I wish I knew what she was talking about. This whole being confused thing is making me feel like a dumb blonde. And don’t you dare say anything.’ I wouldn’t dare.

“That’s good to know,” Joyce says and draws the attention back to her. “I’m sure Buffy’s informed you that I’m considering ending her punishment a little early.” Buffy tries not to smile, Faith grins a little bit, and Dawn looks outraged. She doesn’t want to embarrass herself in front of company though, so she keeps quiet. But she’s going to have a very serious talk with her mother about this.

“Yeah, she mentioned something about that,” Faith says, trying to be slick about it. She isn’t sure why she wants to be slick about it, she just does. Like if Joyce thinks Buffy was talking about it none stop then she’d say no or something. But to the blonde her voice sounds different. ‘Why does she sound bored? Doesn’t she want me un-grounded?’ As she waits for her mother to continue she steals glances at Faith.

“I need to make sure we’re clear on a few things,” Joyce says and Buffy gulps. ‘Great, she’s going to give Faith the ‘if you touch my daughter in a sexual way you’re dead’. I was really hoping she wouldn’t do something like this. Especially in front of Dawn, this is so embarrassing.’ “I understand that you to want to be together, but it can’t be late at night or in my daughter’s bedroom. Especially when I’m unaware of it.” ‘Are we ever going to live that down? I already apologized for that like a thousand times.’

“I’m really sorry about that,” Faith says and puts her fork down. “I got back from L.A. and I wanted to see her. I know I should have waited until the next day, but I didn’t think I was going to miss her that much.” She blushes at that and Joyce has to bite back a smile. ‘I can’t believe I blushed. God, that’s so embarrassing.’

“Aww, that’s so cute,” Dawn says and receives to nasty glares from her mother and sister. “Ok, jeez, I was just joking.” Then she turns her attention to Faith. “I thought you were a tough, bad girl, what happened to that?” Buffy rolls her eyes, Joyce sighs, and Faith smiles. She looks at the youngest girl and gives her a little cocky smirk.

“I am a tough, bad girl. Just because you’re tough and bad it doesn’t mean you can’t care about people.” ‘Oh man if only Willow and Xander could be here for this. I’m sure they wouldn’t believe it even if they were here. I wonder if they’re ever going to accept the fact that Faith is different? They are getting better, though, I have to give them that.’

“Well, Shelly Pomeroy said that you don’t care about people. That you sleep around and you tell lies to get into other girl’s pants.” Her voice is hard and cold. The fiery look in her eyes ‘causes a shiver to run up and down Faith’s spine. ‘Jeez, I definitely don’t want to piss her off. Joyce and Buffy both yell at the younger girl. She doesn’t pay attention to them however, because her gaze is locked with Faith’s. As mad as Joyce is at her youngest daughter for being so rude she can’t help but be curious as to what Faith’s response will be.

“I used to be like that, yeah.” ‘Oh God, she so didn’t say that. Mom will never let me go out with her now.’ The three Summers’ women are holding their breath, and waiting for Faith to continue. “But I’m totally different now. I care about your sister, and I’m not going to hurt her. In any way, shape, or form.” The tension in the air could be cut with a knife, and everyone can feel it. Faith looks over at the eldest of the all the Summers and she’s nervous. She wanted to be honest with Dawn, but she had momentarily forgotten that their mom is in the room.

“Faith, I think we need to have a little talk,” Joyce says and stands up from her seat. ‘Oh God, what is she doing?’ Buffy thinks and holds her breath. “Out on the back patio for some privacy, please.” Buffy watches as her girlfriend gets up and follows her mother out of the room, through the kitchen and out the back door. She looks over at her sister and they lock gazes. Then, as if someone shouted out the word ‘go’, both sisters jump up from their seats and race for the back door. Buffy gets there first, but is shoved aside by Dawn.

“Get out of my way you freak. This is all your fault. You just had to go all psycho and say that in front of Mom. Now she’s never going to let me go out with Faith. She’ll probably ground me until I leave for college just so we can’t go out.” She pushes her sister out of the way and puts her ear to the door. ‘What are they talking about out there?’

“Good, I’m glad,” Dawn says and folds her arms across her chest. “Everybody said that Faith’s a total slut. If you do sleep with her you might catch something.” Without thinking Buffy spins around and slaps her younger sister across the face. She regrets it as soon as it happens, and they both look shocked by the action.

“Dawnie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.” The younger girl doesn’t say anything. She just gently puts her hand over the red spot that’s forming on her skin. “Faith isn’t like that anymore. She would never hurt me. And she doesn’t have anything. She told me she went to the doctor and got checked out after the last girl she was with, and she’s clean. I know you’re worried about me, and it’s sweet that you are, but you don’t have anything to worry about.” Buffy’s heart feels like it’s been put in a vice when she sees the tears welling up in her baby sister’s eyes.

“You never hit me before she came around so maybe I do,” she says then turns around and stomps up the stairs to her bedroom. ‘God, I can’t do anything right, can I?’ she thinks and then goes back to eavesdropping. All she can hear is mumbling and it’s starting to irritate her. She’s naturally very curious person, and something like this will drive her crazy. ‘I need to make sure Mom isn’t saying anything embarrassing. What if she’s threatening her or something? I can’t believe I slapped Dawnie. I hope she doesn’t nark on me, I’m in enough trouble as it is. I should probably go apologize. No, I can do that later.’

Almost half an hour later she hears footsteps walking towards the door, and she runs back into the dining room. The last thing she needs is being caught eavesdropping on that conversation. ‘Mom would be pissed and Faith would think I’m a total freak.’ She tries to act like she’s been sitting there the entire time, but it’s obvious that isn’t the case. The two walk back into the dining room and they’re both laughing, and smiling really wide. ‘What the hell? Since when are they all buddy-buddy? I don’t think I like the idea of my mom and my girlfriend getting along that well, bad things could happen to me.’

“So, what were you guys talking about?” she asks and watches as they take their places at the table. Her mother gives her a questioning look and then nods her head towards the chair that Dawn had been sitting in. Buffy instantly gets a little nervous, and very guilty. “She isn’t feeling well. I think she ate too much too fast.” ‘No, I didn’t mean for you to go check on her,’ the blonde thinks as her mother stands up.

“I better go make sure she’s alright. I think you two need to have a talk.” Then she exits the room leaving the blonde totally confused and the brunette looking a little guilty. Buffy looks over at her girlfriend with a questioning look and Faith purposely stares at her plate to avoid the look. ‘Why won’t she look at me? She’s been acting really weird tonight. First she shows up looking like she had to force herself to come here, then she didn’t give me a kiss. She always gives me a kiss hello. She’s being nice to my family but she’s distant with me. What did I do?’

“What do we need to talk about?” she asks and watches as Faith pushes the food around on her plate with her fork. The silence causes the blonde to panic and jump to all sorts of horrible conclusions. The guilty look on the brunette’s face isn’t helping matters at all. “Are you going to break up with me?” That gets a reaction out of Faith. She whips her head up and her eyes are wide with shock. ‘Ok, I’ll take that as a no.’

“Because if you are I’d really like to know. I don’t want to show up at school tomorrow and try to hang out with you if you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.” She knows she’s being a little over the top, and she’s doing it on purpose. Maybe if she’s a little melodramatic about it Faith will actually tell her what’s going on, instead of staring at her plate like she’s never seen Chinese food before.

“I don’t want to break up with you,” her voice is full of disbelief like she just can’t wrap her mind around what Buffy said. “There’s just some things that bothered me a little bit, and your mom thinks we should talk about it instead of me being bitchy about it and you not knowing why I’m acting like some bratty kid.” ‘Umm, ok. She’s actually going to listen to my mom? That’s a little weird. According to her she barely listens to her foster parents, and she’s going to take my mom’s advice? That’s strange.’

“Yeah, I think we should talk about it. If I’m doing something wrong then you should tell me so I’ll stop.” Buffy watches as Faith sighs and shifts around a little uncomfortably in her chair. “Lets go out to the living room. This might be a long conversation and we should be comfortable.” Faith nods her head and they both get up and go into the living room. Buffy sits down at the far end of the couch, and Faith sits down in the middle. They’re sitting close, but there’s enough distance between them so neither of them feels crowded.

“I’m not good at the whole relationship thing,” Faith says and sighs a little. Buffy watches in anticipation and tries to stay patient as Faith stops to collect her thoughts and figure out how to put those thoughts into words. “Today you were...asking more questions then you normally do, and I felt like you were nagging at me.” ‘I was nagging her? When was I nagging her?’ “I know you were just curious because someone else answered my phone. But just because some other girl answers my phone it doesn’t mean I’m cheating on you.” ‘Ok so maybe I wasn’t as cool about that as I thought.’

“I know I told you that I didn’t, but I have told my friends about some of the stuff that we do. They’re my friends, they want to know if we’re doing anything. I didn’t go into detail or anything, but they know we’ve fooled around a little.” ‘Oh God, she told them?’ “Lying to people is just something that I used to do. But when I lied to you I felt guilty about it. I’ve never felt guilty because of it before and it scared me, and I’m sorry I was a little...cold when I showed up. And I’ve been friends with them for a long time, and I tell them about the important stuff that happens to me.”

“I was just being paranoid. I know you’re going to talk to your friends, and I don’t care. But I just feel like we don’t know each other as well as I want us to, and I know you won’t hurt me, but sometimes I feel like you want to take things further just so you can tell your friends about the things we do.” ‘God, I can’t believe I just said that. But it’s true. Sometimes she gets a little...persistent, and it’s like she has some other agenda or something.’

“That’s not true. Sometimes I can get a little...grabby but you have to understand that it’s been a long time since I’ve been with anybody and my body just isn’t used to that. And when we’re together and you do that thing with your tongue it turns me on so much.” Buffy blushes a little bit and looks down at her lap. ‘I really hope Mom isn’t listening to this conversation or I’ll never leave the house again.’ “I trust you, and I need you to trust me or this isn’t gonna work.” Buffy is quiet as she thinks about everything that Faith has said. After a minute or two she finally comes to a decision.

“I trust you,” she whispers, and takes one of Faith’s hands in her own. “I get like this sometimes, it’s not you, I swear. Things between us have been so great, and nothing great in my life ever works out. I guess I have this weird self-destructive thing going on. I thought there was a problem, but instead of figuring out what it was I created one, and I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll work on it, though. It might take some time, but I’ll work on it.”

They scoot towards each other and their lips meet in a soft kiss. The soft kiss quickly turns into more. Faith wraps her arms around Buffy’s waist and pulls her closer. Buffy gently caresses one of the brunette’s soft cheeks, and moans softly when Faith starts to rub her back. ‘I know this is going to sound totally cheesy but when she kisses me like this the rest of the world melts away,’ the blonde thinks and pulls back for some much needed oxygen. She looks deeply into Faith’s eyes and somehow she just knows that everything is going to be ok.

Chapter 24: My New Experience

The blonde moans quietly and holds her breath to stop herself from getting louder. Her tongue passionately battles with the other for dominance, and the heat between her legs is starting to grow hotter then she’s ever felt before. Her stomach muscles tense when she feels a hand softly caress her thigh. ‘This would be romantic,’ she thinks and gently pushes the hand away. ‘If we weren’t in the back of Faith’s truck.’ She pulls out of the kiss and sucks in a deep breath of the sweet oxygen her lungs have been screaming for.

She looks into Faith’s eyes as both girls pant from the steamy make-out session. ‘She’s so beautiful,’ the blonde thinks as she slowly rubs Faith’s bottom lip with her thumb. She smiles when she feels Faith’s very persistent hand moving a little higher up her thigh. ‘I told her I’d never give it up in her truck, and I’m not going to. If we were somewhere else I’d seriously consider it. Why can’t we go somewhere else? Oh right, because Dawn’s at the house and Faith’s foster mom is always home.’

“Faith,” the blonde girl whispers and inhales a deep breath. ‘Come on, don’t be so afraid. You can do this. Just tell her.’ “Faith, I love you.” She holds her breath and most of her muscles involuntarily tense up. That’s the first time the L word has ever been uttered. They’ve been dating long enough that the word was bound to come up. ‘I just didn’t think I’d say it first,’ she thinks and waits for any type of response.

She watches as Faith’s expression changes from a wild, lustful look, to a look of shock and panic. ‘Oh God, she doesn’t love me? But lately she’s been a lot more...affectionate even in front of her friends and she wouldn’t even hold my hand in front of them before. I thought that was just her way of saying it. I’m such a fool.’ She sits up straight, and pushes the brunette off of her in the process. She starts to crawl towards the tailgate of the truck and fights to hold her emotions back. That seems to snap the other girl out of the trance like state she was in.

“Buffy wait,” she says, sounding panicked and she grabs onto the blonde’s arm. Buffy struggles and tries to get away. She feels completely rejected and humiliated and she just wants to go home so she can hide away and cry. She pushes at Faith, and makes this strange noise in the back of her throat, and the brunette just knows it’s from holding back a sob. “Buffy stop. Would you just listen to me? Please?” The blonde looks over at the desperate girl with tears in her eyes. It’s hard to tell Faith’s expression through the blur caused by her tears, but she can hear the desperation in the other girl’s voice.

“Faith just let me go, please.” Seeing the blonde like this is upsetting and watching her about to cry is ripping Faith’s intestines out, metaphorically speaking. She gives the blonde a pleading look, and Buffy sighs, and quickly wipes away her tears. “Fine, I’ll listen.” She stops struggling and sits down facing the other girl. Faith eases her grip on the blonde’s arm and prays there won’t be bruises there tomorrow. Buffy pulls her knees up to her chest, and hugs her legs. She’s feeling too emotionally vulnerable to sit like she normally would.

“Buffy if I say it back right now it’ll just be because you said it first. When I say those words to you I want to mean it.” She gently caresses the blonde’s cheek. She wants to kiss her but she knows better then to press her luck. “You just have to give me some more time, but I will feel it.” She wipes away the tears that have fallen from the other girl’s hazel eyes. There’s silence between them for a few moments as the blonde thinks about what the other girl said. ‘If she doesn’t mean it then I don’t want her to say it. I don’t want her to lie to me just to make me feel better.’

“I’m sorry,” the blonde says and sniffles. “I feel so stupid for crying.” She looks away from the brunette and sighs a little frustrated sigh. Not only does she still feel a little rejected, but she’s very worked up. For the last two and a half months they’ve been teasing each other, only providing oral pleasure when the pressure becomes unbearable. But for the blonde it’s never enough. She wants more, but she’s not about to give her virginity to someone who doesn’t love her.

“Don’t feel stupid. It’s my fault for just staring at you like an idiot,” the brunette says and smiles a dimple filled smile. She knows that Buffy loves her dimples and they’ve gotten her out of the dog house many times. Buffy smiles and gently presses her lips against Faith’s. ‘Yeah, it’s called kissing. Why couldn’t you just have said ‘and gently kisses Faith’s soft and irresistible lips’? The way you said it is stupid.’ She lowers her legs from her chest so she can get closer to the other girl.

“Baby,” Faith moans out and rubs the blonde’s thigh with a little more pressure then before. She’s trying to be gentle, but she’s having a very difficult time controlling herself. “B, I wanna taste you.” She kisses the blonde a lot deeper than before and tries to unbutton her jeans, but the blonde doesn’t want to cooperate. She pushes the hand away, and tries not to smile at the look in Faith’s eyes. “Please?” she asks and flashes her dashing dimples.

“Excuse me?” she asks and acts offended. Faith is too worked up at the moment to really pay attention, and she tries to kiss the blonde again, but that doesn’t happen either. “Faith, if I remember right you went down on me the other day. So it’s my turn.” She smiles a very devilish smile and gently pushes the slightly taller girl onto her back. “Stay here, I’ll be back when you come.” Even though she’s acting very confident on the outside that isn’t the case on the inside. She’s never gone down on a girl before and she’s very nervous.

She slowly unbuttons Faith’s jeans, and she looks up at the girl she’s fallen for. She smiles when she sees Faith watching her, and she fights to keep the nervousness, and uncertainty at bay. ‘Just because I don’t really know what I’m doing doesn’t mean she has to know I don’t know what I’m doing. I want her to enjoy this, not feel guilty or something.’ She slowly slides the tight denim down the other’s girl’s silky legs and her eyes widen a little. ‘She’s not wearing any underwear, and she’s completely shaven. Maybe I should do that for her.’

“Take your time, B,” the brunette says when she sees the blonde looking a little shocked. ‘She looks so damn cute right now.’ “Don’t do anything you don’t want to.” The blonde nods her head and then settles into a comfortable position between the other girl’s legs. ‘Ok, just remember the anatomy lesson Faith gave you. I can’t remember what she said I was too focused on what she was doing.’

“I want to do this,” she says and gently pushes Faith’s legs wider apart. “Just tell me if I do anything wrong.” She can see all of Faith now. She’s so turned on and wet that the moisture is starting to run down her ass cheeks and onto the blanket below her. ‘Jeez, she’s so worked up. I do that to her?’ She leans forward and gently runs the tip of her tongue over the slick folds. It causes the brunette to quietly moan, and the blonde smiles.

‘Ok, so far so good,’ she thinks as she uses her fingers to gently spread the nether lips apart. ‘Nether lips? You’re serious? Oh well, it doesn’t matter. I just want to make her feel good.’ She starts to lick up all the of the musky, slightly salty tasting wetness and she feels Faith tense up. ‘Is that good or bad?’ She keeps doing it because she isn’t exactly sure what she’s doing. She tries to remember exactly what Faith does to her, but she tries to mimic it.

“Oh God, Buffy, right there,” the brunette moans out. Buffy runs her tongue over the other girl’s clit again and it makes Faith moan very loudly. She continues to play with the bundle of nerves, and she suppresses a smile when she feels the brunette wrap her legs around the blonde’s shoulders. She starts to suck on the throbbing muscle and it makes Faith moan loudly and start to thrust her hips towards the blonde’s face.

The delicious sounds that Faith is making spurs the blonde on, and she starts to suck a little more enthusiastically. She isn’t afraid of doing something wrong anymore. She stops her slow torture, and pulls back a little so she can get a better look at the other girl. There’s so much moisture, and Buffy wants to eat it all up. She looks up at the brunette and smiles a little at the look on Faith’s half. It’s a cross between pleasure and pain. Pleasure from what the blonde girl was doing to her, and pain because she stopped.

“You can stop if you want to,” the brunette gets out between pants. Her voice is huskier then normal, and the words sound strained like she had to force them out. The blonde shakes her head no and softly teases the other girl’s entrance with her tongue. The brunette moans loudly and her head rolls back against the blanket. ‘I guess she likes that.’ The blonde decides to try something that Faith has never done to her before. She pushes her tongue passed the slick entrance and into the other girl.

“Oh God, oh fuck, Buffy,” Faith moans out and her hips start to slowly grind downward. She tries to build up a rhythm but then the blonde pulls her tongue out and Faith feels empty. The brunette groans in frustration and looks down at the blonde girl between her legs. “Please do that again.” She watches as the blonde girl nods her head and then starts to softly tease her entrance again. The sensation almost causes Faith to come right then.

Buffy isn’t too sure what Faith wants her to do. She gives up her teasing and pushes her tongue inside the girl again. She’s starting to get a little dizzy because of all the thrusting, but she isn’t going to stop until Faith comes. Then she remembers something that the brunette did before that caused the blonde to scream out loud while she came. ‘I hope she likes this as much as I did,’ she thinks and starts to hum.

Faith loses it right there. She was trying to hold out for as long as she could but it’s been so long since someone else has touched her, and she can’t stop it as her orgasm rips through her body. She involuntarily lets out a little squeak and then the molten hot come floods out of her and Buffy is there to clean up the mess.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, yes!” Faith yells out and her toes curl up, and she grips the blanket as hard as she can. It takes several minutes to come down from the high, and when she does she has a smile plastered on her face. She opens her eyes and sees the blonde laying next to her, propped up on an elbow and watching her intently. She doesn’t know what to say, she’s never been very good at the pillow talk, and even then it was only with Anna. She never let any other person stick around long enough to have pillow talk.

“Was I good?” Buffy asks, feeling a little insecure even though the look on Faith’s face is telling her she doesn’t have anything to worry about. The brunette starts to laugh and it makes Buffy feel even worse. ‘Why is she laughing at me? Was I that bad? But I made her come, so what did I do wrong?’ She tries to sit up but the brunette grabs onto her arm and gently pulls her closer.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh. That felt so fuckin good, B. You felt so good,” she says and gently presses her lips against the other girl’s. She can taste herself on the to her girl, but it doesn’t bother her at all. She’s used to it. ‘I don’t think that’s why I don’t care. I think it’s because I’m kissing Buffy. As long as I can kiss her I don’t care what she tastes like. Wait a minute. When did I turn into pussy?’ When you started eating Buffy’s. ‘Oh, right.’

“I’m glad it was good. I was so nervous, and I wasn’t sure what I was doing,” she babbles a little and smiles when Faith takes a hold of one of her hands. ‘She is just so sweet. Was she always like this or has she changed because of me? Either way I don’t care, because she is just so sweet.’

“Trust me, I couldn’t tell. You’re a natural,” Faith says with a smile, and she chuckles a little bit. After a minute or two she quiets down, and she looks into Buffy’s eyes. She isn’t as relaxed as she was before, though. Buffy was nervous about the sex stuff, but now Faith is the nervous one. She isn’t used to the talking thing, and she doesn’t know what to say or do. ‘Does she want me to hold her? Does she want me to talk or just listen? Why does this have to be so complicated?’

“I love you so much, Faith,” Buffy says and cuddles up next to the brunette. ‘I know I probably shouldn’t say it because she doesn’t love me, but she will. Just because she doesn’t love me, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell her how I feel.’ She smiles a little when the brunette doesn’t get uncomfortable. She doesn’t tense up, or try to run away. She just lays there, and gently rubs the back of Buffy’s hand with her thumb. ‘God, I love her so much.’

Chapter 25: My Talk With Willow

It’s a bright sunny day in the ‘Dale and most of the Sunnydale residence are out shopping, or at the park, and just relaxing on this very calm Saturday afternoon. I said ‘most people’ are out. As for the leading lady of this story, she’s inside sitting on Willow’s bed and having some best friend time with the ginger girl. It’s been a long time since they’ve spent time together with it being just the two of them. Xander is usually around, which limits the conversation topics. He is a boy after all, and even if he’s just a friend there are some things you don’t talk about in front of a boy.

“And you’re sure about it, Buffy? This is a big deal, and you should be absolutely sure,” Willow says and sits down on the edge of her bed. Buffy hasn’t been here long, and the two are already having one of those important conversations that only best friends can have.

“I’m pretty sure I’m ready,” the blonde says and slips her shoes off. The last time Mrs. Rosenberg walked in and caught Buffy with her shoes on the bed bad things happened, and Buffy doesn’t want to repeat that experience. The redhead gives her a skeptical look and the blonde sighs. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I love her, and I want her to be my first. I’m just not a hundred percent sure.”

“Well you shouldn’t do it if you’re not sure. You don’t want to rush into it,” she says and takes a little sip from her water bottle. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, it’s your decision, I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Buffy sighs and flops down on the bed. She rests her head on the large fluffy pillow and stares up at the ceiling.

“I know. I’m just so confused. I mean, how will I know when I’m really ready? Like you said, it’s a big deal, so in the back of my mind I’m always going to worry if I’m making a mistake or not. Not just that but I don’t know if I’m going to be any good or not. I want her to feel good too. What if I can’t, you know...make her have an orgasm?” Willow sighs as she thinks about the question and she lays down next to the blonde. Now they’re both laying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the same thing.

“I don’t think you can ever be a hundred percent sure. You just have to try and think ahead. If you sleep with Faith will you regret it five years from now?” The blonde groans and puts a hand on her forehead. ‘I can’t even decide what I want now, and she wants me to try and predict the future? She’s crazy.’ “And for the other thing, you’ll just have to talk to Faith. You’ve done stuff with her before and she...climaxed, right?” ‘Did she really just use the word climax?’

“Yeah she did,” Buffy says with a small smile. Just remembering what it was like to get Faith off puts her in a better mood. “She makes this cute little squeaky noise when she comes. After that there’s a bunch of moaning and ‘Oh God, yes’.” Buffy’s smile gets a lot bigger when she hears the redhead clear her throat, and then shift around on the bed a little.

“Ok, I really didn’t need to know all of that. But why are you so worried if you can make her come?” Now that’s a question that Buffy is having a hard time answering. She’s asked it to herself at least a hundred times and nothing she came up with is good enough.

“I don’t know. This is different. The third base stuff we do just because we need release, and it’s nice to fool around and get away with something. This is more then just third base we’re talking about. It’s a home run, grand slam, giving myself to her like I’ve never done before and will never be able to do again, with complete nudity. I’ve seen parts of her and she’s seen parts of me, but we’ve never been completely naked. I’ll be exposed and nervous.”

“It sounds like you’re just afraid of getting hurt, physically I mean.” Buffy gives Willow a strange look and the redhead sighs. For someone as smart as Buffy she can be very dumb sometimes. So the redhead explains, “You two haven’t gone past third base, right?” Buffy nods her head and Willow continues. “Right, well your first time is probably going to hurt. No one’s ever been inside you before. Maybe you’re just afraid Faith is going to hurt you.” ‘Maybe, but I still don’t think that’s it,’ she thinks and sighs.

“No, I don’t think that’s it. I know it’s going to hurt a little bit, and I’m not afraid of that.” Willow has an opinion that she knows Buffy is going to hate. She wants to voice it, but she doesn’t want to make the blonde mad. ‘Hey, she’s asking me for help, she can’t get mad if she’s asking what I think.’ With her mind made up she carefully words what she wants to say.

“Maybe you’re afraid of the afterwards,” she says and the blonde stays quiet. “I don’t want to make you mad, but maybe deep down you’re scared that Faith really is just using you, and after you two finish she’ll leave you and act like you don’t exist. Or maybe she’ll want all of your time together to be spent having sex.” The redhead props herself up on an elbow and looks down at the blonde.

“Would it make me a terrible person if I said I think you’re right?” she asks in a voice no louder then a whisper. She looks up at Willow with guilty eyes and sighs a little bit. She wants to say more and the redhead can tell so she stays quiet and lets the blonde speak what’s on her mind. “It’s not just her, or her reputation or any of that. I think it’s because I’m a virgin and she’s not. I know I would be even more paranoid if I were dating a guy and considering sleeping with him. Faith has been so sweet to me, and I know she’d never do anything like that. I just can’t help but think about all the what if’s.”

“Well, you’re thinking about it and seriously considering it, which means it’ll probably happen. I know this is a total stereotype, but what if you two just get caught up in the moment and you end up sleeping with her, do you think you’ll regret it?” Buffy thinks about it for what seems like forever. She tries to think of every scenario where she and Faith would get caught up in the moment and go farther then they’ve ever gone before. Then she tries to think of the after, what it would be like in the minutes and hours following the event.

“No, I don’t think I’ll regret it at all. But I don’t want my first time to be an in the moment thing. I want it to be special and romantic. I’m not saying lots of candles or flowers or music or anything of the cliche stuff, but I want some planning to go into it.” As she thinks about it more and more not only does the fear and the nervousness go away, but she figures out exactly what she wants. Now this brings her comfort, a sense of calm, and a small smile to her face.

“I want her to take me out first, to a fancy place that has the cliche romantic stuff. A nice, candle lit dinner, with soft music playing in the background. We’ll both be dressed up, and I’ll be wearing some new, sexy lingerie. Then when we’re done eating she can take me back to her place and we’ll go really slow. We’ll just lay on her bed and kiss for a while and when things start to build and get really heated I won’t stop her when she hands start to wander. She’ll be gentle with me, like she’s afraid if she’s rough with me I’ll break. But the next morning she won’t be afraid to get a little rough.”

“Wow,” Willow says and can’t help but smile at the look on Buffy’s face. ‘Yep, that’s how I want it. That would be so perfect.’ “I have a couple questions.” Buffy looks over at the redhead and she has a little confused look on her face. “Since Faith spent almost all of her money fixing her truck up, how is she going to take you out to somewhere fancy?” ‘Jeez, Willow rain on my parade why don’t you?’ “And if she shares her bedroom with her foster sister how are you two going to do anything without getting caught?”

“Ok, I never said it was perfect, but that’s what I want to happen. I never said it was going to happen right away, so she can save her allowance for a while, and then after the date maybe we can get a hotel room or something. God, that sounds really slutty. I don’t want to lose my virginity in a hotel room. So I guess that isn’t a very good plan, but all that matters is that Faith is going to be my first. I guess it doesn’t really matter the where or the scenery or what we do before. As long as she loves me, and I love her then it will be special.”

“How is Faith holding up? I mean, you two have been dating for, like, four months or something like that.” ‘Three months, three weeks, and five days.’ “Isn’t she going a little insane with the lack of sex?” Buffy smiles a little bit and chuckles. She watches as Willow gets a confused look on her face, and it makes Buffy laugh a little more.

“She’s holding up just fine. Whenever the tension gets a little too much for her to handle I give her some release. The same goes for me. And the things she can do with her tongue...I’m sure a lot more woman would switch the lesbianism if they knew what that tongue could do.” That makes Willow blush about three shades of red and Buffy starts laughing almost hysterically. She feels better now that she’s talked this out with someone about this. ‘Now all I have to do is talk to Faith. God, that conversation is going to be so awkward.”

“I’m sorry I was so harsh to her before,” the redhead says and the laughter coming from the blonde stops. They’ve talked about the way Willow and Xander treat Faith, but the redhead was always very stubborn in her ways. They do talk to the brunette and they’re civil but things can be very...chilly. They’re not exactly friendly towards the other girl. They tolerate her because Buffy wants them to. “It’s been hard trying to thin of her as anything other then the heartbreaking bitch that everybody thinks she is.”

“Willow, there’s no need to apologize to me. You guys have been trying to get along with her even though you don’t want to. But I think if you apologized to Faith it would really help out. She wants you guys to accept her even if she’ll never admit it.” Silence falls over the two girls as they both think about the brunette girl. But then Buffy thinks of something else, and it isn’t as pleasant as the thoughts of her girlfriend. “Where does Xander stand in all of this?”

“Xander can hold onto a grudge for a very long time. Larry Blaisdell gave him a swirly in the fourth grade and they haven’t talked since. Well, they never really talked before so I guess that’s a bad example. The point is, even though Anna was popular she was nice to us. When Faith broke up with her in front of the whole school Xander wanted Faith’s blood. He can’t just let it go because after the breakup Faith started hanging out with the bad crowd and started sleeping around. I don’t think she slept with as many people as everyone says she did, but I know there were other girls.” The redhead chances a glance over at the blonde and Buffy does look a little upset.

“But Faith would never do that to you. I know she hasn’t told you yet, but she does love you. Everyone can see it. The way she looks at you when she thinks you aren’t looking, it’s like you’re the sun and she’s the rest of the solar system, everything revolves around you.” Buffy can’t help but smile a very soft smile at that. “She’s changed so much, that it’s really hard to believe. I just need to get used to it, and I’ll try to be nicer to her. It’s just hard. I hated her for so long, it’s going to take time to get over all that.” ‘We’ve been together for almost four months, you’d think these two would be over it by now.’

“It’s not that big of a deal. I want us all to get friends, but it’s not like I’ll ever turn to one of her friends for comfort. We eat lunch together every other day, but I don’t like them very much. You guys are at least trying to be nice to her, that’s more then what they’re doing for me.” Just thinking about Faith’s very rude friends is putting the blonde in a bad mood. ‘Great, just when I was starting to feel better. If I were one of those hard ass, controlling girlfriends I’d so make Faith stop hanging out with them. But I could never do that. She’d go insane if she couldn’t hang out with the guys.’

Chapter 26: My Complication

Buffy chews on her bottom lip while she waits for Faith to answer her phone. Ever since she had her talk with Willow she’s made up her mind about a few things. One of them is that she is ready to give herself to her girlfriend, the other one is she wants it to happen soon. ‘Willow was right, Faith does love me even if she can’t say it.’

“Hello?” comes the sleepy voice on the other end of the line. Buffy pulls the phone away from her ear and looks at it with a strange look on her face. Then she puts it back to her ear and hears what sounds like a person yawning. “B, are you there?” ‘Why does she sound so tired?’

“Are you still in bed?” she asks and looks over at the clock. “It’s almost noon. How come you’re not up?” She doesn’t want to sound like she’s accusing Faith of anything. She trusts the brunette girl with everything she is. She just can’t believe that Faith’s foster mom would let her sleep in this late.

“Yeah, the parentals are grocery shopping and they let me stay home. You can come over if you want,” the brunette says and Buffy can tell by the sound of her voice that she’s smiling that sexy, mischievous smile. “You’ve only been to my house once, and you didn’t even come inside. I want to give you the tour.” Buffy laughs a little bit and thinks about all the different ways the tour could end.

“When will your parents be back?” she asks and chews on her bottom lip again. ‘Ok, I think this is moving a little too fast. I mean, I just had the talk with Willow yesterday, and even if I feel ready this might be going a little too fast. We’ve only been dating for three months, three weeks, and six days. If I sleep with her now will everyone think I’m a slut? Wait, since when do I care what people think about me?’

“In about twenty minutes. I think you should meet them. They’ve been on my back about it for a while, and I think it’s a good idea. I mean, I’ve met your family, and we’re not blood related but Bill and Judy are like my family, ya know?” Buffy’s smile lights up at the thought of finally being introduced to Faith’s family. She’s asked the brunette about it before, but she’s been very reluctant.

“Well, I called because I wanted to talk to you about something important, how much privacy will we have at your place?” She hears Faith laugh and Buffy doesn’t take that as a good sign. ‘She mentioned that there are a lot of other kids living there, and they love to bug her especially when she has company. We won’t be able to talk about this over there.’

“None at all. Lauren and Tanner will bug the hell out of us and they don’t listen to their parents. And I share a room with Natalia so technically I can’t kick her out if she wants to hang out with us. Why? What’s the problem?” she asks going from playful to serious in less then sixty seconds. ‘Great, now she’s worried. I really don’t want to have this talk over the phone, but if it’s the only way I guess we’ll have to.’

“Nothing’s wrong, I swear. It’s just I’ve been thinking about some things and I want to talk to you about them.” She’s being vague on purpose, hoping that maybe Faith will pick up on it by the tone of her voice. “I really don’t want to talk about it over the phone though. Is there anyway you can come over here, or maybe we can meet somewhere?” She looks over at her bedroom door with some suspicion. ‘Dawn could be on the other side of it listening in.’

“No I can’t. When they get back I have to help them unload the car, and Sunday is the one day of the week when no one is allowed to leave. We can have people over we just can’t leave unless it’s as a family. We can always talk at school tomorrow. Or maybe you can ask your mom if we can hang out after school.” ‘That would make sense but I really want to have this conversation now.’

“No, it’s ok. We can talk now. If I wait then I’ll lose the nerve to have this talk and I really need to say this because it’s important.” She stops and takes a breath and she can hear Faith chuckling on the other end. ‘I did say that really fast, so I’ll let her slide this time for laughing at me.’ “We’ve been dating now for almost four months, and that’s a long time for both of us. I love you, I’ve told you that before, and I don’t know if you love me or not, I really hope that you do, but no pressure or anything.” She takes another breath to say more but Faith interrupts her.

“I do,” she says so quietly that Buffy isn’t sure what she just heard. “And I’m not saying it now because we’re on the phone and no one else is around. I’m saying it because I feel it now. I don’t want to say the words to you until we’re in person but I will.” ‘Oh my God, she loves me. This just makes things so much better, and a lot less complicating. If we love each other then having sex together won’t be wrong or slutty.’

“Ok, that’s really, really good,” the blonde says and lets out a big sigh. She lays down on her bed and looks up at the ceiling with a little smile on her face. “I called you to tell you that I’m ready to take our relationship to the next step, or whatever it’s called. I want to give myself to you. And before you ask, I am sure. I want to do this, I hope you want to do it too.” Buffy listens very carefully but Faith doesn’t respond right away.

“Um...wow,” is all the brunette says at first. “Gotta be honest, I wasn’t expecting this at all. We’ve never talked about it before. Well, sort of. You said you’d never lose your virginity in a truck or any other type of transportation vehicle.” Hearing Faith mimic her words makes the blonde smile. “And you’re really sure you want to do this? If you think I need it then you’re wrong. Yeah I get worked up, but it’s not reason for you to give up your virginity.” ‘Oh my God, she is the sweetest thing ever. I really wish I was there so I could kiss her.’

“Baby I’m so sure. I’ve thought about this a lot, and I want you to be my first. I’m still not exactly sure when or where but we can figure that out together.” She hears Faith sigh and she waits for a response. ‘I thought she would be happy about this. Why isn’t she happy? I want to have sex with her and she’s all sighs and quietness. What the hell?’

“Yeah, we can figure it out. You have to be absolutely sure that this is what you want. I’ll feel like shit if I find out I pushed you into it. You know how I can get when we make out.” That makes the blonde smile and laugh a little bit. Now that she’s gotten out everything she wanted to say she’s a lot more relaxed.

“I’m sure. Don’t worry, you won’t push me into anything. I’m ready, and if something unplanned does happen then it won’t be a mistake. I just want to be with you, even if it isn’t in the most romantic thing in the world. As long as it’s with you I’ll be happy.” ‘Why does it seem like I’m talking her into this?’ Maybe because you are.

“But you deserve romantic. You deserve flowers, and soft music and soft lighting, and all of the other romantic first time things.” By the time she finishes talking she doesn’t sound too sure of herself. She didn’t have any of that stuff for her first time, and now she isn’t sure what’s really supposed to happen on a person’s first time. Other then losing your virginity. ‘Wow, she doesn’t know me at all, does she? Well, that’s not true she does know me. We’ve just haven’t talked about it before so she doesn’t know where I stand on the cliches.’

“I don’t want that. I kind of know what I want. I mean, it won’t work because we’re both broke and you share a room and if my mom catches us here we’re both dead. I thought it would be nice if one night we went out to a nice restaurant with the cliche candle lit dinner. And afterwards we can go someplace and just take things slow.” She waits and listens carefully for the brunette’s response.

“That sounds perfect. We’ll have to wait a while ‘cause like you said I’m broke, and I don’t want you to have to pay for anything. I want that night to be all about you. I want to make it special for you. If my baby wants a romantic meal, and then taking things slow afterwards then that’s what my baby’s gonna get.” ‘I love it when she says stuff like that,’ she thinks as she giggles a little. Then she hears a knock on her bedroom door and a shiver runs down her spine.

“I gotta go, someone’s at the door. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She’s too busy being paranoid to wait for Faith to answer her before she hangs up. She regrets it right after she does it, but then shrugs it off. ‘Can’t take it back now.’ “Who is it?” Her door opens and she sees her sister standing in her doorway looking a little annoyed.

“Mom wants to see you downstairs,” she says and sighs. She folds her arms across her chest and she does not look happy.

“What does she want, did she say?” ‘Oh my God, if she overheard me talking to Faith I’m dead. Why did I have to talk to her over the phone? I’m so stupid.’ Not arguing with you there. ‘Would you just stay out of it. You’re supposed to be a narrator, narrator’s don’t get involved with the characters. Now shut up and do your job.’ I so don’t have to take this.

“No she didn’t. She just said she wants to see you downstairs, and I’m supposed to stay upstairs. I was watching a documentary on animal planet, but now I have to miss it because you did something.” ‘She can be so melodramatic sometimes.’ The blonde gets up and tries to swallow her heart because it keeps beating up to her throat. She walks passed her sister and ignores the very angry glare the younger girl is giving her.

With every step she takes downstairs she feels like she’s stepping that much closer to her death. She thinks about all of the things she’ll never get to do after today. She’ll never get to hang out with Willow at the mall again. She won’t get to see the look on Cordelia’s face when she shows up at senior prom looking better then her. And she won’t get to make love with Faith. She walks into the living room and sees her mother sitting on the couch, drinking a cup of tea. ‘Oh shit, this is bad. She only drinks tea when she’s trying not to have a break down.’

“Hey Mom, Dawn said you wanted to talk to me?” she asks and steps further into the room. Her mom doesn’t look up, she only nods her head. Then she leans forward and puts her cup down on the saucer that’s on the coffee table. ‘Ok I am not liking this whole silence thing. Why won’t she tell me what’s going on?’ “What did you want to talk about? Is it that D I got on my history quiz? Because it’s only a quiz, it doesn’t affect my grade that much.”

“It’s not about your grades, sweetheart. Sit down please,” she says and motions for the spot next to her. Buffy inches forward and sits down next to her mother. She watches as her mother thinks about the way she’s going to word whatever it is she’s going to say. Then finally the older woman sighs and slowly rubs her hands together. “I picked up the phone in the kitchen to make a phone call and accidentally overheard some of your conversation with Faith.” ‘Oh God, oh God. These are so not the type of oh Gods that I like.’

“What did you hear?” she asks and prays for the best. ‘If she overheard all that stuff about me being ready and stuff then I’ll never leave the house again.’ She watches her mother sigh, and continue to rub her hands together. Buffy holds her breath and her entire body is tense while she waits for her mother to speak.

“I heard you tell Faith that you love her. You’re in love with Faith?” she asks and Buffy’s eyes widen. ‘Oh thank God she only heard that part. At least I hope she only heard that part. If she kept listening then this conversation is going to go to a very bad place very quickly.’

“Yes I do, and she loves me too. She wouldn’t say the words because she wants to tell me in person because she’s never said them before. But yes, we love each other.” She watches as her mom gets a look in her eyes, a look that Buffy’s never seen before. She doesn’t really know how to describe it, but I would say it’s a look of a mother realizing her little girl isn’t so little anymore.

“Ok,” she says and nods her head a couple of times. “Look, this is going to be very awkward but we need to talk about this.” ‘Oh God no, not a sex talk.’ “I don’t know exactly how it is two woman would be intimate but I think we need to have a talk about it.” The younger blonde tries not to sigh or do anything that could make her mother angry. “Being intimate with someone for the first time can be a very...joyful, scary and sometimes overwhelming experience.” ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe we’re talking about this.’

“Now don’t look at me like that. This is important.” Buffy sighs and leans against the back of the couch. ‘If we’re going to have this conversation I might as well be comfortable,’ she thinks as she looks at her mother and waits for her to continue. “You two have only been dating for four months, and you’re only sixteen, and as your mother I’ll always think that you’re too young to be having sex.” ‘Jeez, did she have to use the word?’

“I know better then anyone that when two people want to be together they will be no matter what anybody says.” ‘Um, ok?’ “This is a big decision, one you won’t be able to take back. I don’t want to see you get hurt, and this isn’t the kind of thing that should be regretted. If you give yourself away and you’re not ready then you’ll regret it. You should save yourself until you’re absolutely sure.”

‘Ok, so she’s saying I can have sex with Faith as long as I’m sure I’m ready? Is there something in the water or something?’ As the younger blonde thinks about what her mother told her she finds herself doubting herself and her notion that maybe she is ready. Now she’s in a near panic state. ‘I can’t believe I’m going to ask my mother this. My mother.’

“Well, how will I know when I’m really ready?” she fights against the blush that wants to creep up to her face. She never thought she’d actually participate in a talk like this with her mother, but she has to face the facts: her mother is older and more experienced, and even though the thought of her mom having sex puts a very sickening feeling in her stomach, she needs to ask her for advice. ‘Talking to Willow helped but she couldn’t really give me any words of wisdom like my mom can.’

“I know you don’t want to hear about this, but when my first time happened.” ‘She’s right I don’t want to hear about this.’ “It wasn’t planned, or even that romantic. I remember I looked into his eyes and I just knew. I was so nervous and a little afraid, but I didn’t let it control me.” ‘Wait, so she just knew? So I could be making out with Faith tomorrow and then look into her eyes and want to have sex with her, or in a month, six months, a year? This crazy, I need a better answer then that.’

“I know it’s awkward and embarrassing because I’m your mother but if you have anymore questions, please don’t be afraid to ask, ok?” the older woman says and gently puts her hand on her daughter’s knee. Buffy smiles and nods her head, but on the inside she’s totally confused. ‘So how will I know when I’m ready?’ “I need to get dinner started. You can run back upstairs if you want to, and tell Dawnie she can finish watching her show.”

They both stand up and leave the living room. Buffy passes Dawn on the stairs and ignores the fact that her sister had been listening in on that very personal conversation. Instead she goes straight to her bedroom and lays down on her bed. She buries her face in her pillow and lets out a little scream. ‘This is so confusing! And I already talked to Faith about it, which makes things so much worst. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Why does everything have to be so complicated?’

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