One for the Road
Summary: Alternate Timeline. The continuing story of Buffy and Faith six years after the fall of Sunnydale. Sequel to Then There Was You.
Chapter One
I’m dreaming about butterflies and wagon wheels for some reason. I don’t know why but I keep dreaming of an old school wagon wheel. Like covered wagon wheel and its got all this ivy around the spokes but it’s pulling away from the ivy and starting to roll along. Not fast. Just you know, moving. And this crazy butterfly just keeps chasing the wheel. Landing on its edge when it slows and then fluttering around it as it picks up speed. It’s the weirdest thing. And I know I’m dreaming because on the edges of my senses I can smell the coffee Faith is making and the sounds of her and Wesley in the kitchen talking. I just can’t quite hear them clearly.
My focus sharpens to catch Wesley’s nervous questioning tone. Why is he nervous? My head raises from the pillow as the soft strains of Lauren Hill’s cover of Turn Your Lights Down Low float in to the room. Faith loves that song. Which. Kind of a surprise really. Not that I think she only listens to heavy metal bordering on a thousand souls burning a fiery death, but surprise because our music tastes aren’t really that different. This is a song that I actually like. Though generally I like it when my son isn’t downstairs crooning along to it.
My son. That’s still so wow. A smile curls my lips and the last images of my wagon wheel dream evaporate. I open my eyes and stretch my body. Ah. Now that’s the stuff. Hopping out of bed these days is so much easier to do. I guess I didn’t realize how depressed I was until I found Faith again. Some days it was a struggle just to open my eyes, but now I’m finding that I’m excited to be up and about. I’m sure the regular sex helps but mostly it’s just getting to be around Faith and Wesley. I can’t even remember what life was like before them.
And that was only five months ago. It feels like my whole life has had them in it. I can’t explain and I’m not even going to try. I’m just going to go downstairs and see what those two are up to. I tug on one of Faith’s hoodies to fight off the chill as I pad down the stairs and in to the kitchen. “Morning Mom.” Small arms wrap around waist and I lean down and pick Wes up. Reason number 342 of why I love being a Slayer these days: I don’t have to worry about Wes being too big for me to carry for a really long time.
Though I’m pretty sure he’ll be ready to not be picked up by me a lot sooner than I’m ready to not pick him up. I can’t imagine he’d still want to be carried around in high school. Oh god. I don’t even want to think about high school for him. “Morning Bubba. Gimme some love.” Wes places a bunch of kisses on my face and a raspberry on my neck for good measure. I squirm around and giggle before I realize that my very amused little sister is sitting at the counter with a mug of coffee in her hand. I smile at her and bump her with my hip. “Hey you.”
“Hey Buffy.” I flick my eyes around the kitchen to see Faith pretty much hiding in the corner and looking mighty suspicious. Hrm. My brow comes up but I don’t ask anything right away. Faith will tell me on her own. I know how this works already. You see Faith will do something that she knows will annoy me but she’ll actually tell me about it right after she does it. I don’t even have to say anything. She just...cracks. It’s like she can’t keep a secret from me. Which is just fine. I don’t want her to keep secrets from me. We did that for too long and that made me do and say things I’m not proud of. “Well. Wes and I were just about to leave. Ready kiddo?”
Wesley nods and I put him back down. I have no idea where they’re going but Faith must know so I’m not going to question it. This is starting to get weird. Ever since Jimmy The Snake smashed his way in to the flat, Faith has had a really hard time letting Wes out of her sight. I haven’t been too keen on letting him get too far either but she’s been really stubborn about it. She let him go to Xander’s twice and only because we had to patrol together. But I get it. “Can we see the pandas first?” Ah. The zoo. Dawn nods and holds out her hand.
I’m glad those two are getting along so well. It was touch and go there for awhile. Dawn still hadn’t forgiven Faith entirely and as a result Wesley hadn’t quite stopped giving Dawn the hairy eyeball. I think the fact that Dawn overheard Faith explaining to Wes about why she was mad at Faith helped. It was the acknowledgment she had been waiting for I think. Either way those two have been tight like glue ever since. And Faith and Dawn. Well now that really wasn’t unexpected. “Remember Squirt we’re just a phone call away. It only takes us about twen...”
“Twenty minutes to get there. I know I know. Seriously Faith. I am an adult now, you don’t have to worry I do know how to handle myself in any given situation. Watcher training and years of living on the Hellmouth with the Slayer for a sister you know. Honestly.” Okay now that was a little British even for Dawn. I open my mouth but close it at her look. I think I want some alone time with Faith and if I fuck it up now I’ll kick myself later.
“Have fun Bubba.” I place a kiss on his cheek and then one on Dawn’s as she walks out still muttering about Faith. Oh this is all show for them. Those two are thick as thieves. And that is seriously worrisome. They both have dirt on me and I’d rather they not get so shifty eyed every time I walk in to a room. They’re planning something but it won’t be long before I find out what it is. Faith’s arms slide around my waist and the warm reassuring weight of her body presses against my back. “Mmm. Morning cuddles. My favorite.”
She chuckles near my ear and it sends shivers down my spine. At least she’s not trying to deny it anymore. Faith has slowly become addicted to snuggling and cuddling. Oh I’m not complaining. Nope. I fucking love it. Her low voice burrs in my ear sending another shiver skittering through my body. As she sings a verse I note that all of the moisture in my body has curiously relocated to the area between my legs. And! I think my brain just turned to jello.
“Turn your lights down low
Never ever try to resist
Let your love shine in
In to our lives again
Ooh I love you,
And I want you to know right now
Ooh I love you,
And I want you to know right now
I wanna give you some love
I wanna give you good good lovin’”
Yes please. Faith’s hands slide up and under the hoodie. She cups my breasts and brushes her thumbs over my already hard nipples. I’m so easy. Really. She doesn’t have to try hard to get me all aroused, it’s pretty much an automatic response at this point. I see Faith, I get a serious case of the lusties. But I am glad that I’m not the only one affected by this. Faith can’t seem to keep her hands off me either. Which is nice to know. I let out a tiny purr of happiness as I press back against her. “Mmm. Morning groping. Suddenly my new favorite.”
Faith turns me around to face her. God I love that look on her face. The one where it’s clear she’s gone one focus and it’s me. It’s weird because sometimes I feel a little bit like her prey but I chalk that up to the fact that we’re Slayers and it’s kind of our gig. Our gig? I really have been spending too much time with Faith. I try not to giggle at that thought because we’re kinda in the middle of some smouldery eyed staring. I bite my lip but it’s too late, Faith notices the change of intensity and raises a brow. “Ya find somethin’ funny Slayer?”
I shake my head quickly. “Nope. I mean if I did it wouldn’t have anything at all to do with you. Well not entirely about you. And not in a bad way. Just in an influence way.” Okay I don’t think I made myself very clear here. Faith’s brow furrows a little as she tries to figure out what the hell I’m talking about. I can’t help rise up on my toes and kiss the ridge on her brow. It smoothes out as soon as my lips brush against it. That’s a nice feeling. I’m glad that I can soothe Faith as easily as I ruffle her.
“Huh. I didn’t get a word of that but I can’t seem to mind.” I laugh and pull back from her. Faith grins and leans in for a kiss. I’m sure it was supposed to be innocent since I ruined the mood with my ill timed humor but I’m still a little worked up at having Faith’s hands on my body and her smoky, sexy voice right in my ear and okay just thinking about it has me throbbing. So it’s not really my fault that I make that kiss deeper and needier than she thought it would be. Faith groans in to my kiss and lifts me.
My legs wrap around her waist bringing my groin in to contact with her navel ring. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this but I love Faith’s piercings. Yes. Piercings. Plural. Speaking of. I tug at her tank top and yank it up and over her head. My hands come up to cup the heavy mounds. The tips of my fingers graze over the quickly warming metal rings. I love these things. Faith growls and nips my bottom lip hard when I give her nipple rings a little tug. I didn’t think I would like such an extreme piercing until I saw Faith’s. But they kind of suit her you know? I chuckle when I feel her start walking toward the stairs. Faith pulls back and raises her brow again. “Okay you’re startin’ to give a girl a complex here B.”
“Hey it is so not my fault that kissing you makes me giddy to the point of giggles.” Her face cracks in to a crooked grin. I roll my hips in a slow grind against her navel ring. Grah. God that feels good. “Okay. Bed now please.” Faith laughs and pins me against the wall with her body. Her hands fumble with the hoodie for half a second before she yanks it up and over my head. It takes me a minute to realize that she took my tank top off with it. Nice. Okay well the wall is nice too. So long as she doesn’t stop kissing me like that. “Faith...” I’m a little bit on the breathless side but sometimes I can’t help but say her name.
And it’s nice to not have to worry about pissing off someone else if I do. I know it’s terrible but it’s happened. Once or twice. Or six. I don’t know. I’ve never really kept count but I bet you that Noelle did. Faith’s nails scrape down my back and I arch in to her. My skin is all super sensitive right now. I can feel the baby fine hairs at the base of her skull wrap around my fingers. I can even feel the little nubbly balls of fabric from her flannel boxers against the underside of my thighs. It’s something about Faith, about being with Faith that makes me this way.
I hear Faith’s shins thunk against the side of the bed a second before the room spins and Faith’s weight settles on top of mine. The brush of her warm, soft skin causes a tiny whimper to escape me. See? Super sensitive. My legs drop open wider to give me room to slide the boxers over her hips and down her legs. I catch the scent of her arousal and that only makes my mouth start to water. I know that sounds weird but I honestly do crave the taste of her. My hips rise when she tugs on the boxers I didn’t remember still wearing.
I buck to roll us over and start to nuzzle and nip Faith’s neck. She gives me a low groan and rests her hands on my hips. My wet sex slides against hers when I start sliding down her body. We both moan out at that. It’s amazing to me to think that my whole life I’ve never felt so connected to one other human being as much as I feel connected to Faith. And now getting to have her here in my life. To be able to hold her and kiss her and love her. To know she loves me back. She always loved me. My heart stops and I just stare at her for a while. “Ya okay B?”
I nod once and brush a lock of her hair out of her face. She must be freaking out. First I was giggling and now I’m all serious. “I love you, you know.” She grins and nods. I don’t ever want her to wonder about that ever again. “I always loved you. I just didn’t know how to say it. You know that right?” She nods again her expression a little more serious but with a hint of a grin still lingering. I dip the tip of a finger in to a dimple in her cheek and sigh happily. Faith brings my fingers to her mouth and brushes her lips against them in a light kiss. I shiver and focus on her soft full lips when they wrap around my finger slowly teasing me. Fuck. She’s really good at that.
I shift and nudge her thighs gently apart before sliding my fingers between her legs. Oh. My. God. I swear I’m going to catch fire one of these days. I catch my breath and bite my lip to keep from moaning at the feel of her silky folds. Who knew I’d love this so much? Because really sex was good before but it was never this intense. I swear I can feel what Faith is feeling sometimes when we make love. I think she can feel me too because her touches get just a little more insistent and demanding. I pull back and reach over to the night stand.
Faith raises herself up on her elbows and watches me take out the thick cock from the drawer. Okay so it was a little weird to go shopping for this thing with Faith but I’m oh so glad we bought it. She smirks when she sees it. God. Some things never change. She’ll always have this little cocky attitude about sex. I’ll never tell her I think it’s sexy because that’ll just go to her head. No thank you. I work a little lube over the short shaft and bulb at the end. Faith’s legs open for me as I slide the end of it in to her. Now that’s about ten shades of hotness.
I just stare at her laying back against her elbows with a long red cock proudly hovering just an inch away from her skin. I crawl back up her body and position myself over her. We come together in a desperate jerk and I gasp at the feeling of her filling me. My eyes close as I start up a slow rhythm riding Faith. She’s letting me take control for now but I know her. She’s only going to be able to take so much before she starts getting rowdy. Again with the lack of complaining. Faith’s hand is hot against my skin where it presses against my lower belly. Her thumb parts the thick flesh hiding my clit. Okay now that’s just cheating.
I whimper and rock down against her harder to get the pressure against my throbbing clit. Faith grunts and lets me ride her a few more minutes before she bucks up hard and pins me under her body. She thrusts in to me hard and I hiss. “Fuck...” Faith stops for a half second before pounding in to me deeper and harder. I knew she’d react to that. I give her a well placed goddamn and another hiss to encourage her. Faith practically growls and gets to her knees, yanking my hips to bring me closer to her. We both cry out when the sensation seems almost too much. Almost. We’re panting now but I don’t want her to stop. I think I might die if she did stop. Just to be on the safe side I scrabble to pull her back down against me and rock my hips up in short thrusts.
“Buffy...” My eyes cross and then slam shut as my muscles clamp down hard on the cock sliding in and out of me. I can never manage to hold back my orgasm when she breathes out my name like that. I think she knows it and uses it to get me to come. Faith bites her own lip as she thrusts in to me a few more times before falling over the edge and coming too. She slows but doesn’t stop. Never stop. I’d be totally okay with that. I wrap my legs around her waist and delight myself in her lips. Okay. Did I just say that? Delight myself in her lips? I smile in to her kiss at the gentle rock of her hips and the tender tone of her voice near my ear. “Love you.” A slight tremor shudders through my body as I come again. God. The things she does to me.
Faith pulls out after awhile. I breathe in the scent of us in the air and close my eyes with a lazy smile on my face. Yup. Regular sex has definitely improved my mood. A warm weight settles against me and I snuggle in to it. Faith’s heartbeat is steady under my ear. Huh. Weird. Our hearts are beating exactly in time. I smile again and press a kiss over her heart. “So I’m thinking my karmic reward for saving the world so many times is mind blowing sex.” She chuckles and runs her fingertips lightly over my back. Mmmm. Pets. I love getting pets. What were we talking about?
“Mine is this feeling right now.” Okay. Can I just cry right now? I open my eyes and stare in to those deep chocolate orbs. I want to marry her. I do. I don’t want to think about even bringing it up but I really do want that with her. I kiss Faith tenderly because I can’t tell her. I want to but I just can’t. I can’t risk scaring her away, and anyway I don’t need to be married to know she loves me. “You sure you’re okay B? You seem kinda...” She shrugs a little but gives me a concerned look.
“I’m definitely more than okay.” I’m sticky and wet and sated. I’m so very okay. I smirk at her and give her ass a pinch just to make her squirm. “And I’m just now realizing you had this all planned.” Her eyes get that twinkle in them. You know what I’m talking about right? That ‘I’m a sneaky little thing’ twinkle. She totally sent Wes off with Dawn and purposely played that song to sing to. “It should really weird me out that Dawn is helping you to get laid you know.” She gives me a freaked out look and shakes her head.
I think she’s momentarily grossed out. Yes! Score one for the blonde. “Like I need help gettin’ some. Ya can’t keep your hands offa me.” I snort even though secretly I agree.
“Yeah right. I’m not the one that was all grabby feely downstairs.” Okay I was a little grabby feely. What with the rings and the nipples and all.
“Right ‘cause my shirt just crawled off my body by itself.” Well she’s got me there. I tweak one of her nipples in protest. “Hey hey hey I’m kinda attached to that.” You and me both Slayer. I snuggle further against her and close my eyes. “They won’t be back until lunch, you can catch a nap you know.” Yep. I love her.
Chapter Two
“Wow.” I stretch my body out and glance at the clock. Huh. I was only asleep for like an hour. Not bad. I glance up to see Faith watching me with a tiny half smile. You don’t know how many times I wished she would look at me with even an ounce of tenderness. And now that I have it I know I can’t ever give it up. Hello Co Dependency Issues. Whatever. I don’t care. I want her to always look at me like that because I know it’s how I look at her. Er. When I’m not irritated with her that is.
“Mornin’.” I yawn and stretch again but mostly just because I like the feel of Faith’s body against mine. She chuckles but I note that she is not trying to get away or stop me so hey we’re golden. “Now look at who’s been all grabby feely.” Hrm. Hey! How’d my hands get there? I swear they have minds of their own. I blush slightly and slide my hands back down Faith’s body to rest on her well toned thigh. I can feel our connection throb warmly between us. I am so fucking glad that I got that back. It’s still difficult for me to control it but I’m getting better at it. Faith’s been helping me with that since she’s been at it longer. I push a little lust in to the connection and giggle when Faith squirms. “Jesus...it’s a miracle more slayers aren’t fuckin’ around more. Wonder if they just don’t feel it as strong.”
“They don’t feel it at all.” Faith opens her mouth and closes it with a click. Oh. Shit. I think I just fucked up. I stay where I am with my head resting on her shoulder, half draped over her body. We’ve never discussed my past relationships and it never occurred to me that it might bother Faith that I’ve slept with other Slayers. Well. It never occurred to me until just now that is.
“You’ve slept with an another slayer?” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay Buffy just relax. She’s all calm and you’re all calm. Just answer the question and move on.
I raise my head off her shoulder and look Faith in the eye. “I had needs Faith.” That’s not really a good reason to sleep with another slayer. I know it sounds so lame and retarded but another slayer is like cheating. I can’t explain how or why it just is. And the reason why there were other slayers is kind of shitty too. “I...I needed to know if it was just you it’s like this with or if it...was any slayer.” She grunts under me but her expression doesn’t change.
“I’m gonna be runnin’ in to some of your ex’s at this little Halloween shindig right?” Maybe. I bite my lip and shrug. It’s possible. It’s very likely that only one of them will make a deal. “Anyone serious I should maybe know about?” I sigh and roll on to my back so I can stare at the ceiling. This is so not something I wanted to get in to like ever.
“Sort of. There was a girl that was more serious than others.” I wince a little at the jealous surge I get from our connection. Grah that’s not a happy feeling. I wonder if that’s what she has to deal with every time I get jealous. “She was way more invested in the relationship than I was. She got tired of it. Things got confrontational. Really it wasn’t a pretty break up.” I hurt Noelle and as much as I’d like to deny it, at the time I didn’t care. I think I need to work on this selfish thing I have going on here. “It’s been over a long time now.”
But she’s still hanging around. I shouldn’t say that. She was assigned to this base before we started our fling. But she could have transferred a couple of times now and she hasn’t. I think she still holds out hope that Faith won’t ever come back and eventually I’ll give in and settle down with her. Really it'd be more like settling. I mean really. No comparison here. “Well. I’ll try to remember not to start a cat fight in front of my son.” At least she sounds mildly amused. She won’t be when she sees what Noelle looks like.
How do I always get myself caught up in these things? Faith rolls her body over on to mine and nuzzles my collar bone. I groan softly at the feel of her warm hands on my breasts. God she’s good at that. I glance at the clock. We don’t have enough time. I have to meet Willow in less than an hour for a little shopping trip. And not long after that Wes and Dawn will be back. Shit. I sigh in irritation and gently pull Faith’s head away from my nipple. “We so don’t have time for that. And if you love me at all you’ll give me a raincheck because I was really looking forward to where you were taking that.”
She gives me a huge grin and oh my god why do I always fall for those dimples? I blink myself out of my daze and smile back. “Alright. I know ya got some stuff to do with Red. I think I might meet up with Wes and Dawn. I get nervous with them alone out there.” I knew she wouldn’t let Wes go completely. “Besides I still need to get the rest of my costume together.” Crap. I knew there was something I was forgetting to do. Faith raises her eyebrow and waits.
“I was so busy getting Wes’ stuff together that I completely forgot to get a costume.” Faith sighs and shakes her head. She’s all bummed out. I hate Halloween. Some bullshit thing always happens. It’s like every since I became the Slayer everything went bananas. I feel badly about forgetting now. Faith has been looking forward to this for awhile. It’s been a long time since she’s been able to let her hair down and just party for awhile. And with a building full of slayers she doesn’t have to worry about Wes getting hurt. “But don’t worry. Halloween is come as you aren’t. I can work with that. There are a lot of things I aren’t. Er. Whatever.”
“It’s cool B. Don’t stress about it. Halloween is really a kid thing anyway.” Awww. Poor baby. She’s just barely managing not to pout. I chuckle and run my finger tip over her brow. Sorry baby but I have plans for us and that includes getting to play dress up. Which reminds me...
“Oh no you don’t. I’m dressing up so you have to dress up to. Besides. It could get very interesting at that party. Depending on what you’re wearing and...” I just shrug and trail off. She’s been very tight lipped about this costume and I’m starting to wonder what it could be. Faith gets a devilish look in her eye and shrugs. Oh boy. I could be in serious trouble here.
“You said it baby, it’s come as you aren’t. I gotta lot to work with.” Hrm. Interesting. Very interesting. I give her my own slightly evil grin. Ha. Tonight I am so coming dressed like every mother’s nightmare. And all I have to do is dig around in Faith’s half of the closet. I wonder what she’s going to get dressed as. “So about this getting interesting. What are we talkin’ about here?” I buck my hips to send us rolling. Once I’m on top I nudge Faith’s thighs apart and slip my fingers in to her sticky folds.
She gives a slight moan and bites down on her lower lip. I love making her do that. “Well...I don’t know if I should answer that or not. I think you should give me a good reason why I should.” I brush my fingertips over and around her clit. She shudders but her voice is pretty calm. Hrm. I’m just going to have to try a little harder to distract her.
“Just thought you’d wanna tease me with a clue.” Fuck the clue. “But hey if you don’t wanna tell me then ya don’t hafta.” Oh she knows me too well. All she has to do is act like she doesn’t want to know and she thinks I’ll fold. Well I got news for you sister. I am the fucking queen when it comes to playing this game. And for once I will win at something.
“Okay. Sounds good.” I pull my hand away from her and start to get up. Faith’s arm shoots out and curls around my waist bringing me right back to her soft body. Uh huh. I knew it. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you didn’t want me to stop.” Let me get right back to that. I slip my hand back to her sex and stroke lightly. Faith shifts her legs further apart. I’ve got her in the palm of my hand now. Um. I hadn’t meant that to be a pun but we’ll go with it. “Just so you know there’s nothing up for the party.”
She grunts. Honestly I don’t think she cares at the moment. Which means I have to cut it short or I’ll be late to see Willow. “Right. Nothing. Party. Got it.” I really do need to let her off the hook. I still my hand between her legs and nip her shoulder playfully before leaning in close to whisper.
“But after the party you’re sending your son to spend the night with his Auntie Dawnie, then you’re going to go home with me and I’m going to fuck you until the sun comes up.” Any way I want to. That was the agreement afterall. Faith swallows a lump in her throat and nods. I think she’s nervous. I’m kind of nervous too but if she’s not ready I’ll wait. I open my mouth to say so but Faith puts her fingers over my lips to silence me.
“I’m good B.” I nod once and kiss her fingertips. Faith smiles and tries not to wiggle around too much under me. “Um. Buffy? If you’re not going to let me do things to you that could get us arrested in most European countries then maybe you could let me up to take a very long, very cold shower.” I smirk and slide down her body only stopping long enough to give her one long caressing lick. I couldn’t help myself. And I almost keep going but I stop myself and pull away.
“Me first. I’m pretty sure you can fill the time waiting for me to get out.” Oh yeah. She’s so going to jill off while I’m in the shower. Come to think of it that might be a good idea for me too. With out the distraction of Faith actually being there I can get it over with fairly quickly. But if Faith is there...well lets just say once we get going we can’t get enough. If I were ever capable of strutting now would be the time. Yup. My sensitive hearing catches the soft hiss and the wet sucking sound as Faith slides in to herself. Oh yeah. Showering is good. Water wigglies are even better. I need to work off some of this energy before I go shopping or I’ll buy the whole store.
And really I wouldn’t know where to put all of those sex toys when company comes over so no. This is a completely necessary function here. I don’t know how I’m going to hold out until after the party. I jump in to the shower and let the cool water run over my overheated flesh. It’s going to be a really long day. Really really long day.
Chapter Three
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Am I? Well. I’m pretty sure at least. Mostly sure. I take a deep breath to steel myself. I can do this. I’m a Slayer. The original Slayer at that. I kill evil things on a nightly basis without so much as a flicker of fear. So why is it that I’m having such a hard time walking in to a porn store? Willow takes my hand in her warm one. “You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to you know. We can just tell Kennedy what you want and she’ll go in and get it for you.” Ha. Like that would ever happen.
Don’t get me wrong here. I love Kennedy. She’s been a great friend to the gang and she loves Willow. She helped my bestfriend find peace and love again. And I will always hold her in the highest esteem and respect for that. But like hell will I ever ask her to do any of my sexy shopping. No way, no how. Even if Faith would get a huge kick out of it.
“Um. No. I’m good. I can do this. It’s just sex toys. Nothing too weird about that. People do it all the time.” Willow nods at me in an encouraging way. Okay. That’s settled. I’m going in. It’s not that I’m not ready for the toys because I so am. I mean we already have some toys, so that’s not an issue. It’s just that tonight is finally the night. The night that I’ve been planning for an entire month. It’s safe to assume that I’m really excited. And nervous.
Willow blinks at me in the gloom of the darkened store. It’s really kind of seedy in here but at least it’s well stocked. Once I’m looking at all of the various merchandise the nervous tremble that I didn’t know I had, finally abates. “So tonight is the big night?” I nod and stop in front of a shelf of glass toys. Holy Cow! What’s this one for? I pick up one with little rounded bumps along the shaft and stare at it in confusion. Willow flips it over on it’s end for me. Oooh. That makes sense now. “This is a pretty big deal. I mean you’ve never, and it’s Faith so...”
Yeah it’s a little overwhelming. But I want this to happen and so does Faith. “Yeah it’s pretty wowsome. I mean I’m nervous because it’s new but on the other hand it’s like the most comfortable idea in the world to me. Maybe because it’s Faith and she never makes me feel weird about stuff like that.” I shrug and move down the aisle with Willow in tow. I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation. We’ve both gotten more verbal about our sex lives. Which is nice since I can’t talk to Dawn about this and Xander generally runs away whenever I bring it up. Actually anytime Faith and nudity are mentioned he freaks out. Note to self; find out Xander’s deal. “So what about you and Kennedy? Are you guys...?”
She shakes her head no quickly. “Oh. Um. No. Not for lack of pleading on Kennedy’s part but it’s not for me.” I know what she’s not saying. No matter how much she loves her girlfriend, Kennedy will never be Tara and that means that Willow will always hold something back. Knowing that is probably the saddest thing in the world. Sadder than that is the fact that Xander and I can understand what losing a lover is like. Oh she’s moved on ‘cause Kennedy helped her. But in her heart Willow will always be Tara’s girl. I nod sagely and move along to the rows of silicone plugs.
“Well that’s understandable. I’m not even sure this is for me. I just know that I'm really curious about it. Ooh. Pink.” I think Faith would strangle me if I bought her a pink butt plug. And while I’m pondering Faith’s reaction to it I have to wonder if maybe they could have come up with a different name for this thing. Butt plug just seems so crude. Although I’m pretty sure Faith finds that hilarious. Willow just snorts and shakes her head. What? “What?”
“You don’t actually think Faith is going to want a pink one do you?” I shake my head. Well. What if it’s not for Faith? I chuck the pink plug in to my hand basket and shrug. “Yeah. That one is so for you.” She’s got me there. I did say I was interested in trying it and I didn’t just mean trying it on Faith. I won’t lie; I kinda want to see what it feels like. “What about red? Or black? Black is a very Faith like color.” It’s sweet that Willow is taking an interest in what Faith would like.
I grab a pretty marbleized green one. “This works. Green is Faith’s favorite color.” I only just found this out last week when I was shopping for some things with Wes. I wanted to get her some new tanks for when we go back to the States. Wes went straight to the green ones. So yeah we’re still getting to know some new things about each other but we’re really doing well. We bicker of course but nothing really nasty and I’m grateful. Oh I’m sure those kind of fights will happen in the future but I’m just glad it hasn’t happened yet.
“So are you still loving motherhood?” Every damn day. I smile and nod. Lube. Lube. I need lube. Ah. Got it. Wills puts some warming massage oil in her basket and picks up what looks like it could have been King Kong’s penis. Oh. Look at that. King Dong. Ha. That’s kind of funny. Yikes. I so don’t want to know if she and Kennedy can even use that. “Wow this is pretty scary. Who uses this anyway?” And just as she’s saying that a six foot tall, very large and beefy gay man walks up and puts one in his cart. “Sorry.”
I bite my lip to keep from out right laughing at Willow’s squeaky apology. “Motherhood is great Wills. Even on the days when Wes takes after Faith in the stubborn department. I just...love him. I can’t explain it and I don’t even want to try. I just know this is the right thing for me to do. Being with Faith and Wesley is...” I just leave the sentence hanging as words fail me. Saving the world has always been my burden to bear. I never thought I could have more than just a passing existence in this world because of it. But they showed me I could have so much more. I know Willow gets it by the smile she gets at my dopey grin. And all this leads me to another thought. “And I’m terrified of messing it all up by wanting more.”
Willow regards me while I look over a selection of harnesses and harness compatible dildo attachments. I never knew how complicated this type of thing could be. “Wanting more? As in sex? Because you’re with Faith now so I’m thinking wanting more isn’t really a problem for her.” Um. No that’s a definitely not ever an issue with Faith. Yeesh she wears me out in the best ways. I roll my eyes at her and sigh.
“You know sleeping with a Slayer has seriously given you a one track mind Will.” As if we aren’t standing in the middle of a sex shop with baskets full of toys. She blows a raspberry at me and I chuckle. Willow reaches under my elbow for something on a shelf. I follow her hand and try not to look at the pack of tassels she’s holding. “I meant more in the commitment sense. Now that I have her, have them both, I just can’t let it go. I can’t go back to who I was before I went to find her.” She nods sympathetically but she doesn’t get it. She doesn’t know the things I’ve told Faith. The feelings I’ve had for so many years. “She’s my soulmate Wills.”
Willow’s hazel eyes widen and she opens her mouth to say something but shuts it quickly with a snap. Hrm. I wonder what the reaction means. “Hold that thought.” I just watch as she pulls out her cell phone and dials someone. I can hear a muffled ‘hello’ before she rushes out with her comments. “You owe me fifty bucks. They’re soulmates.” There’s silence on the other end for a second then a disbelieving question. “Because Buffy just told me. And don’t try to get me to let you slide on this by doing the Snoopy Dance. I’ve waited an entire decade for this, and I’d like my patience rewarded in cold hard cash thank you.” Xander. It has to be Xander.
She smiles sunnily at the phone as she hangs up. Okay. What the fuck? Those sneaky little punks had bets on me for the last ten years? “Do I even want to know?” I’m guessing it’s probably really innocent. And nothing whatsoever to get worked up about. But the working up is still happening here. I take a deep breath and let it go slowly. I’m going to have to get over the fact that EVERYONE in my life knew there was something between Faith and me before I did. “God I’m dense.” I have to laugh at it and shake my head. Willow watches me for further signs of emotional retardation before she nudges me with her shoulder. “Okay I’ve narrowed it down to hands free, harness free but I’m kind of stuck. With or without magic bullet attachment?”
Okay probably that was too abrupt of a subject change for Willow. Her mouth opens and closes a few times like a large fish as her face goes as red as her hair. Heh. Yay team Buffy. “Uh...er...probably without. This time around. You can always upgrade later.” Hrm. Good point. I move over two feet to stand directly in front of the display of harness free toys. I like the one we have now but I’ve never actually you know...used it on Faith. I’ve used toys on Faith just never one that you actually wear. But I’ve wanted to. I’ve just been kind of shy about it. After a minute of companionable silence Willow clears her throat. “So now that the angry awkward part of the conversation is over...what you’re saying is you want this as in forever?” Oh. Right. We were having a conversation before I decided to be a bitch.
“I so do.” And cue the over dramatic school girl sigh. I know I look like a complete idiot standing in the aisle thinking about Faith while I’m cradling this enormously thick dildo to my chest but...wait. What? I look down at my hands and jump a little before putting it back on the shelf hastily. Okay. I really have to keep that reaction in check. Willow stifles a laugh and looks around to see if anyone noticed my weirdness. I think I’m safe. “That happens every time I think about her. It’s really annoying. Yesterday Wes caught me hugging a head of lettuce.”
I don’t know. None of these toys seem to be the right one for me. Or maybe it’s because I expect too much from one thing. I want something bigish. Shorter than the one we already have but with more girth. But on the other hand wider most definitely isn’t better in some situations. I think for that I want something slim for the most comfort. This store has 538 different varieties of penises and none of them are what I want. This sucks. “How does Faith feel about all this? Last I remember she wasn’t exactly the settle down type of girl.” Willow has a point. As she usually does.
I take my eyes away from the display to look her in the eye. “I don’t have a clue. I’ve been really careful to avoid words and phrases that sound anything remotely matrimonial. Just in case.” We’ve come a long way, Faith and I. But I’m still having difficulties communicating some things to her. I’m hoping this little sexcapade finally bridges the few remaining gaps in our relationship. Trust is hard for us to give or accept and hey lets face it, I think we both need to prove it to each other once and for all. “What I do know is that Faith loves me and has loved me for a long time, and that she and I plan on raising a son together. That’s pretty committed if you ask me but rings and vows and everything, well that’s a Groshak demon of a different color.”
She nods and tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Did it ever occur to you that you’ve been married to your soulmate for a long time now?” I...what? I blink at her and frown. Did I miss something? “I know I keep saying take it slow and just get to know each other and let things happen but it’s pretty clear this is the real deal. So you don’t have a photo album full of wedding day pictures, or a shiny ring on your finger. You have a house in Texas with a white picket fence that I will get to see one day soon, you have an amazing little boy who knows what you two are, you have the love and support of your entire family, and hey if that’s not marriage I don’t know what is.” I love my bestfriend. “Not to mention the wild hot monkey sex. You love her, she loves you. End of story.” I give her a hug and then squeal with glee.
Alas! Exactly what I was looking for. Willow winces at the high pitched torture I just put her through. I push past her and pick up the mother of all sex toys. I swear it’s like a halo of light and a angelic choir surround it. Okay maybe not but it’s still really cool. “Check it out. Now with interchangeable shafts!” Um. I look around at the few people staring at me in mild amusement. Maybe next time I should use my indoor voice. I flush a deep red and quickly grab for the base unit. Base unit. That just sounds so weird. Ooh. Hey. Ultra Slim, the new Ultra Slim provides optimum comfort and durability with it’s short, svelte shaft. Perfect for anal penetration. Dishwasher safe. Who writes these things?? I snort at it but put it in the basket anyway.
Ah ha! I grab another interchangeable shaft and heft it in my hand. Hrm. It’s pretty big. Willow looks over my shoulder and raises a brow. “Oh my.” Yeah. I wonder if this is a case of my eyes being bigger than Faith’s pussy. I pick up one that’s pretty comparable to the one we have now and hold it up to the big purple one. Well I said I wanted shorter and thicker and this is both. Hrm. I debate it for another minute before putting it in the basket. “You do realize that I’m going to want to know how this all goes. Right?”
Oh yeah. I’m fairly certain I’m going to want to talk about it too. Not that I’ll give details but I really think the whole experience is going to be so wow that I’ll need to talk it out. “Well. I think I’m ready. How about you?” She looks in to her basket and I’m slightly amused to see that she has edible body paint and something called Nipple Nibbler in there. Heh. Willow’s a freak.
“I’m good. Hey that reminds me what are you going to do for a costume this year?” Goddamnit. Why do I keep forgetting to do that?
