PART 7
“Damn, I can't believe he actually broke up with you.”
“Yeah, well, he really did.” Buffy said as she gave a harder punch on Faith's padded hands as they were sparring.
“Oh, man! Guys should break up with you more often.”
“Gee, thank you.”
Buffy headed to the book cage.
“No, I mean it. You really got some quality rage going. Really gives you an edge.”
“Edge Girl. Just what I always wanted to be.”
Faith wiped the sweats from her cheeks, and sat on the table, “Well screw him, alright? You move on, and... you party heavily, and you'll be fine. I mean, you're still going to that dance, right?”
Buffy opened a juice bottle and took a swallow, “Maybe.”
“You got the tix already. Why don't we go together?”
##Oh boy. Don't blush like that Buffy, like it’s a date. It's not New York anymore, it’s really not cute anymore. Why did she ask it that way?##
“I don't know about that.” ##Why did I just smile like that? And avoided her gaze? Why do I always feel back two years ago when she’s in the room?##
“Come on. We'll find a couple studs, we'll use 'em and... discard 'em. That's always fun.”
##Thank God, she saved me. She knows me so well, but why does she pushes like that. I mean she's not pushing but... it sounded like a date, right? Or maybe it's just me and she really wants to go to find some dude and use em then discard em. Ok, I should not dwell on that either cause that, too, brings me to NYC, to the bad memories of it.##
“Okay, I'm in. Not the stud-using part, though. Or... probably not.”
##Did I just say that? She really has a bad influence with me.##
“Buffy?” Cordelia barely showed her head through the library’s door.
“Yes?”
“They're about to start the picture for the yearbook and uh Bobby, Mashad, you don't phone, you don't write... where's the love?”
Both slayers frowned as Cordelia grabbed 2 boys and left.
Faith raised her eyebrows.
“Heavy campaign.” Buffy said and they both shrugged with a mocking sigh.
“I guess that means I should go if I want to, at least, be in the year book.”
“Yeah and then you can join the cheerleading squad.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.”
“It sounded rather sarcastic to me.”
“It’s just... I don’t know, your friends, they know you’re the slayer so you’re free, I mean. You didn’t want anyone to know in New York, but here they know, so why do you keep acting like you’re just like everyone else?”
“I, no, err,” Buffy felt slightly surprised first by this, “I am like everyone else. What’s wrong with wanting to be part of something?”
“You are part of something, B. Tell me sparring with me doesn’t get you off more than getting your picture taken for that stupid yearbook thing.”
##Why is she acting like that? She even looks pissed off. I should be the one pissed off.##
“I want to be in that yearbook. I’m sorry but- being the slayer is only a small part of my life.”
Buffy closed her bottle of juice with a firm movement.
“Fine go, then go compete with Queen C while you're at it.” Faith looked at the ceiling with a shrug.
Buffy sighed in annoyance and got up from the table as if she was about to leave.
“Will you be coming back for more afterwards?” Faith said, raising her eyebrows explicitly as she took the pads in her hand.
##Sometimes I just really don’t get her. She doesn’t look mad anymore.##
“Faith? Are you on your period?”
“Fine, I should go.”
Faith got up from the table too.
“Ok sorry. Well, I don't think so anyway. I err, I kind of need to... I gotta go, err, see my mom. You know, ever since I came back she’s been... you know.”
“Not really. Mine never worried about anything related to me so... Anyway, not a problem now.”
##Should I ask or... I shouldn't but... kind of the right opportunity.##
“What happened?”
Faith looked up at Buffy and down at her gloves again.
“I mean, I know you said... when we fought Kakistos' vamps... But you were so caught up that I don't-”
“Yep, she's dead.”
##I can't read her. How can she close herself like that? Shut her feelings so much.##
“I'm sorry.”
“What for? When I got the news, it was quite a happy day actually.”
“I'm sure deep down you don't seriously think that. Despite it all, she was your mom.”
“She was no one Buffy. A bitter crack-whore that was so wasted that she fell in her own stairs. She's better off dead, and so am I.”
“I- Did you. Are you the one who... found her?”
“I didn't have that chance, nope.”
##She can't possibly be serious.##
“I wasn't living there anymore.”
##And? Where was she? God why does she like, keep everything, from me. Why is it so hard to get her to tell me anything now? I feel so frustrated.##
“You were with your watcher already?”
Faith looked up at her, like she hesitated, she sighed, “Yeah, she took charge of everything, the burial and all, told her she didn't have to, cause I really didn't care but she insisted. So homecoming, we're going right?”
##Ok, I guess -catching up on what I've missed- time is over for today.##
“I guess so.”
“Cool. You'll see, it'll be fun. And riding in a limo's really a plus. You're gonna like it, B.”
Buffy frowned, “You already were in a limo?”
“Yeah once.” Faith said, diverting her eyes.
“When, how? Oh, don't tell me you borrowed a limo for one of your surprised ride, right?”
They remained silent for a short instant as the souvenir of their own ride to picnic and to Philly came back.
Buffy couldn't help the smile on her face.
Faith shook her head.
“No, didn't drive it.”
“And? So, when? Was it in New-York?”
“Yes. You're gonna be late for the photo session B.”
“Come on tell me. How did you get a ride in a Limo?”
“You don't wanna know.”
##Ok, I guess I probably don't. But##
“Tell me, whose Limo was it?”
“Some business man's. His son liked that it didn't cost him any hotel room to get a good fuck.”
##Guess I really didn't want to know. Why? How can she act, ok stop that Buffy, it's her life; I've given up on that long ago. I need to show her I'm cool with that. We're friends and we both live our lives the way we want.##
“So, you dated him for a while?”
“Almost an hour? Does that qualify as date?”
##It's gonna be hard. Does she try to get me... Grr I don’t even know why that frustrates me like that.##
“We just met at a party and he brought me home once.”
“And you just fucked him?!” ##Ok why did I say that? And, like that?! And I used that word, damn I am mad then.##
“Yes B. You got a problem with that?”
“Err, no, absolutely not.”
“Anyway, we talked at several parties and this one time he brought me home. Come on Limo, I wasn't gonna refuse that.”
“And so you thanked him by blowing him?” ##Oh Goddammit why do I keep saying this.##
“I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't mean to say that.”
“And I didn't even mean to tell you any of that B and I really shouldn't have. This is MY life and you don't get to give me that look anymore ok? We're over now. I do whatever I want and with whomever I please. Hell I'll even blow Giles if I feel like it and you don't get to say anything ok?!!”
Faith walked away firmly but Buffy held her back. Faith shoved her hand off her in a brutal move.
“You don't touch me!”
“Faith, Faith I'm sorry.” Buffy couldn't help but trying to reach her again and this time Faith didn't shove her hand off her arm.
“I'm really sorry. I don't have anything to say. I know, it's just... With what we've been through I thought... I mean it makes me feel bad-”
“These were my choices Buffy. You have nothing to do with that. I would have leaded my life this way with or without you, so stop thinking it's all about us. It's not. I'm totally ok with the way I live. I don't have any problem and I don't hide anything.”
“Then, why do you never want to talk about it with me? And more, why did you react like that if you're SO ok with it?”
Faith cringed as she knew Buffy had a point. Buffy let go of her arm.
“It's you Buffy. You just... get to me like... you shouldn't. Not anymore. And you gotta stop doing that?” Faith almost pouted.
“Doing what? Getting to you?”
“Duh, yes.”
Buffy couldn't help a slight laugh, “But I don’t do anything.”
“And so you gotta stop doing it.”
“But Faith, that's what I said, I'm not doing anything.”
Faith sighed in frustration, “So I see you for Homecoming or not?”
Buffy tried to refrain a slight laugh, “Ok.” ##Better leave this here.##
“Fine.” And the brunette slayer left, avoiding Buffy's intruding gaze on her.
The blonde girl couldn't help but smile at their talk, mostly the end of it.
##I still have influences with her. Ok maybe not influence but... Well, I get to her.
And tell me how is this a reason to smile like that? Because let’s face it, she obviously gets to me too. I just still can't stand what she 'does' more than I did when I found out about her and Randy and Danny and who else she was doing all at the same time. Yuck, hurts my stomach just to think about it and it shouldn’t because, yeah, it's her life and we really don't have anything in common now... Apart from being a slayer which isn't even such a big deal, right? I don't even consider the job like she does, or do I? Alright now I have a headache.
Damn I just try to be honest with her cause that's what I want now, and I think I am, but then she makes me feel like everything I think, everything I did here is... wrong, false. Like I'm not straightforward with my life here but... I've just hidden her from them, otherwise I'm always true to my friends, right? Ok, there's the Angel deal recently but apart from that? Her whole hungry and horny thing it's not... It doesn't count, it doesn’t matter that much since I can hold it back very well. Ok did I just say hold back? That means I feel it then?
Alright, why does it all seem like I'm really hiding... myself to them? Why? God dammit why does she still make me wonder so much that I get a headache? Stopping now. Period!##
Buffy firmly headed out of the library to the yearbook photo session. She was decided not to let anything Faith-related get to her anymore because it shouldn't. Re-period!
~~
“So, how's Scott doing?”
“Scott, err, actually we're- he's fine.”
Angel looked at the bag of blood Buffy just brought her. Buffy looked aside.
“Are you careful?”
“With Scott?”
“With the slaying.”
“Oh err yes, and with Faith now it's getting easier.” ##Did I really put Faith and easier in the same sentence?##
“Faith?”
##Oh. Feels weird having him say her name.##
“Err, well, err, yes, well, she- err-”
Angel frowned at Buffy's stammering.
“She's a slayer, the new slayer, you know, after Kendra, err, you know.”
Angel nodded but he kept staring at Buffy who looked even more uncomfortable at his stare.
“It's good that you have someone every night now.”
“What?! I mean, err yes, the patrols, yes, only a few times in fact, I don't see her that often actually. And- and in fact she just arrived here.”
“Well, why don't you patrol with her every night?”
“I so can't do that err I mean- Why do you wanna talk about her?” ##God dammit why am I on the defensive like that? And I thought talking about Angel with her seemed irrelevant, well, clearly the other way around is even worse.##
“Why don't you?” Angel said with a frown at Buffy's strange behavior.
“I'm- I'm just. I just came to see how you were. So I'm gonna go now.”
He sighed, “I guess you should.”
They stared at each other, she lowered her gaze.
“And I'm better, you won't even have to come soon, and I'll be able to leave.”
Buffy looked up at him with hurt in her eyes.
“I think it would be better for the both of us.” He then added.
She simply nodded and got up, “I'll see you later.”
“When?” He looked embarrassed to still let his impatience show, “I mean; yes.”
She started walking away.
“Be careful.”
“I will.” She said with a nice smile.
She walked away.
##It's probably better that way. It will be easier.##
Buffy sighed. ##I can't even convince myself. God I can't keep them all around. Faith, Angel... None of them should even be here and I certainly can't deal with the two of them staying. It's... It's impossible. Besides, Angel gotta go, they can never forgive him. Or us. We can't be together anymore and... I’m not sure ‘not being together’ is a thing we can do if we stay around each other.##
Buffy lowered her head in a resigned way and walked home.
