Part 9

You know, I thought I’d been in love before… but I was wrong.  Everything I thought I knew had been replaced with real knowledge, everything I thought I’d felt had been overwhelmed by the here and now… and my here and now consisted of a little girl named Amanda and her new brother, named David.

I finally knew what it was all about.  I mean, you could talk cookie’s till the cows came home, but when you got down to the bottom of all things real, children, they were pretty high on the list and quite possibly the most unconditional loving entities on the face of the earth.

That left Faith… and I was still conflicted over my awareness of her, sure I had thoughts but I also had fear overshadowing all those thoughts and I guess to be honest, I’m finding myself a bit of a coward.

So I watched the kids with an open heart and I secretly watched her with a guarded mind, afraid that she’d not return the feelings, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to move beyond our past… well, I’m just making excuses, in truth, I’m just afraid to take a chance, because if it blew up in my face, it could cost me all of them and that was just a risk that I couldn’t take, I wouldn’t take.

So I sat to the side and watched from afar and fell deeper and deeper in love and into denial, waiting for some kind of sign from above or something, anything really, to solidify everything I now found myself wanting.

I held off the job hunt for a bit, throwing myself into caring for Faith and helping her out, truthfully, she didn’t need any help, but I fooled myself into thinking that she did, that she needed a lot of TLC and needed to be pampered.  Initially, she balked but finally gave in to my demands and allowed me to do for her and for the kids.

David was a cutie and just like Amanda; blonde, blue eyed and of a fair complexion; although he did pattern his eating habits after his mom, so I guess I’m saying that he was a little pig or piglet to be more correct.

He’d already put on about 5 lbs. Since we’d brought him home and he’d made his presence known, nightly, every thirty minutes to be precise, wearing his mom out, and making everyone tired and dark eyed: Hence me, getting up at 3 a.m. for the frequent nightly feedings and changing’s.

Little David was slowly killing his mom, not literally, but mentally and physically; Faith was exhausted.  She decided to stop with the breast-feeding, and I mean, right now, this minute because she couldn’t take any more sleepless nights.  She simply had to sleep.

I’d pretty much begged Faith to take something to help her sleep, she was beyond exhausted and had started to get sick, she finally had agreed, due to the fact that she wasn’t going to breast feed anymore and due to me promising to care for the baby and Amanda.  So I gave her a pill and she was pretty much out like a light.

Of course I’d forgotten that David was a titty baby, and it really didn’t register that he wasn’t used to a bottle until he gagged over the plastic nipple and tried to root against me, then I guess he realized the difference or the quality of boob and boy did he scream.  I tried to get Faith up but she was dead to the world.  I’d given her a soma, cause hey, they help me, and it literally zoinked her out.

Believe me, after 5 minutes of screaming, I was trying to wake her up and was starting to panic slightly.  I was pacing, patting his little butt, rocking him, considering giving him my breast just to see; at this point I wasn’t above producing milk myself… and I was surely willing to try.

I finally gave up and invaded Faith’s privacy, bound and determined to free those milk jugs and give the boy what he was so set to have.

Low and behold, just as soon as I get her shirt open and her breast ready to receive the little tot, she opens her eyes and looks at me, her brow arching, silently questioning the position of my hand and the showing of her body.

I blushed, stating the obvious.  “I just wanted some milk.”

She looked at me a little oddly, asking.  “From the source?”

I turned 20 shades of purple.  “No, not for me, I couldn’t get David to drink the bottle.  He’s screaming his head off.”  I turned and looked at him, pointing, intending to show Faith how distressed he really was and there he was lying on top of the comforter, angelically asleep.  Oh that little turd.  I looked back to Faith, who was still eying me curiously.

“Are you gonna let go of that?”  She asked, looking directly into my eyes.

I looked over at my hand, which was still almost palming her breast and froze, my breaths automatically starting to become stronger, more ragged.

I suddenly pulled my hand back and away and looked back at her and our eyes caught and we sat there staring at each other until finally she sighed and I slowly leaned down towards her lips.

I hovered over her, a fraction away from her lips; my breaths shaky, my bottom lip quivering and I realized that she was in the exact shape that I was.  I exhaled a ragged breath and lowered my lips to hers, gently sliding my lips against hers, feeling that delicious, warm, friction build.

We moaned into the soft, gentle kiss, our tongues subtly touching. 

Her hand found my waist and gripped tightly as mine slowly maneuvered around her waist, pulling her tighter against me. 

We laid there for what seemed like hours, kissing and lightly caressing each other.  When we pulled apart, we stared quietly at one other, each afraid to say anything, both of us afraid to break the moment.

I quietly laid beside her, placing my head on her shoulder and wrapping my arm around her and we laid there together for hours, until the baby woke back up to be fed.

I got up, picked up the fussy infant and made my way to Amanda’s room.  I peeked in and saw her still fast asleep, seems we weren’t the only ones needing to catch up on our beauty rest.

I smiled and quietly went into the kitchen, fixing another bottle.  I looked down at the squirming baby and just told him like it was.  “It’s this or nothing.  You’ve been cut off.”  I eyed him as he furrowed his brow, looking up at me.  I put the bottle close to his mouth and touched his lip, waiting to see what he was gonna do.  “So… what’s it gonna be?”  I asked, watching as he finally accepted the bottle and drained it dry.  I realized right then and there, that this kid was going to literally eat us out of house and home. 

Faith was out and I didn’t want to wake her, so I did the next best thing.  I called Willow just to get some advice on growing kids.

I found out that I could add some baby cereal to the formula, thicken it up, fill up this little slayer’s tummy and boy did it work.  He finally got his belly full, burped and fell asleep peacefully.

The phone started ringing just as I got him laid down and sat down to rest a bit.  I picked up the phone

“Buffy Summers?”  The voice asked.

“Speaking.”  I stated cheerfully.

The voice pulled in a deep breath and began.  “I’m Megan Baros, uhm, I’m the slayer that’ll be replacing you.”  She paused, waiting for me to speak.

I froze, didn’t know what to say.  I’d completely forgotten after all these months.  I started thinking, trying to figure something out, finally it occurred to me, and it would work.

“It’s not necessary.  Things are working out.”  I stated, tapping my fingers against the table nearby.

“It’s already set up.”  Megan stated, adding.  “I’ll be coming in about two weeks…  your tickets on its way.  Tell Faith, I look forward to meeting her.” She started to hang up the phone.

I panicked slightly.  “Wait!”  I stated louder than I intended.  I heard her hesitate on the other end.  “I changed my mind. I don’t want to leave.”  I stated lowly.

“Sorry but I thought it was already taken care of.”  She breathed into the phone and disconnected.

“Oh don’t worry, it will be.”  I muttered to myself, intending to call Kennedy and take care of this.

Just as I started dialing, Amanda came barreling down the stairs and jumped up into my arms, hugging me.  She looked up into my face and smiled big and I automatically smiled back, forgetting about everything.

I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight and walked us into the kitchen where we started making a batch of pre-made cookies.

The smell of the fresh baked cookies drifted upstairs and woke up the sleeping beast.  I smiled as she clumsily made her way down the stairs to where we were sitting.  We smiled at each other and I handed her a warm cookie and we sat there, smiling, laughing and sharing food, well until our little man finally woke up and made his presence known.

We made our way into the living room.  Amanda and I squished together on the sofa and relaxed, watching as Faith picked up David, sat down and leaned against me. 

I smiled and pulled Amanda closer, smiling as I playfully shoved another bite of cookie into her mouth.  She leaned against me and I held her close and slowly worked my arm around Faith, pulling her even closer.
I leaned back into the cushions, relaxing and watched them as they interacted.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself, thinking that I’ve never felt as happy or fulfilled.