Buffy held her self very still, concentration focused intently on keeping her breathing even and deep. She didn’t want to disturb the peace of the moment. The rain had started up again, a gentle shower to contrast the night’s downpour. And with the pale light of dawn creeping through the windows, everything seemed softer, not quite solid. But she knew she wasn’t dreaming again. The gentle breaths of the dark girl sitting at the foot of the bed were all too real, steady and constant; it would hitch every time she would glance back at Buffy’s still form… like it was a surprise. She was watching, waiting. For what Buffy wasn’t quite sure, all she knew was that she wanted to stay in this place forever.
She felt safe, she felt warm, she felt loved.
It was damn near perfect. The candles had long since burned away, but their fragrance still lingered in the air, mixing lightly with the stronger essence that was distinctly their own. Buffy liked that… the fact that THEY had a scent now. It was just perfect… well; it was that is...before.
When she had first opened her eyes she had been greeted by a torrent of coffee colored silk, awash in that faint smell of lavender. Her arms enveloping that slim waist, hands tucked under the covers, resting on a smooth, flat tummy. And the skin pressed against her lips was the softest she had ever felt…She had been wrapped in Faith and yeah… THAT had been perfect. But it didn’t last. Faith had awoken a couple of minutes later, shifting slightly and mumbling something about potatoes before freezing suddenly when she realized her situation.
Buffy felt her chest tighten now just a little at the thought. The other girl had carefully extracted herself from Buffy’s hold and had been sitting across the bed for the past hour. Watching the rain, watching the girl.
She didn’t make a move to stop her. Something telling her deep inside, a bond or instinct maybe, that Faith needed time. Buffy didn’t want to listen, she wanted to pull Faith back, throw the covers over them again and shut out the rest of the world. She knew the world was waiting. But she had to fix THEM first. Make sure they were ok so they could face it together.
Nothing had really been solved the previous night. After her stumbling, but heartfelt confession, they had both been caught in a little shock. It was love after all… Jesus Christ it was love! Buffy was actually a bit scared herself… just a little terrified is all. And she had supposedly done all this before.
Buffy had been lying to herself a lot longer than she’d thought.
The whole damn thing could’ve been a huge disaster. And Faith wasn’t exactly emotions girl. Buffy had fully expected Faith to run and hide under the bed… maybe with a shovel.
But that’s not what had happed at all. To Buffy’s surprise, Faith had kissed her. Holding her face between her hands as if she would break, it was feather-light, and it made her shake all over.
“Say it again…” Faith had whispered in that pleading voice that was all sandpaper. When she pulled away an inch her brown eyes looked like they were going to spill.
“I- I Love you…” It was only a breath, and Buffy could feel her throat constrict on the words.
“Again…” It was more a plea than a command
“Love you…Faith please…” And Buffy was begging her to believe.
But Faith was kissing her again before the words were even out. And it had been a VERY different kiss that time. The dark slayer’s tongue had slid into her mouth on a gasp. It was hot and slick and Buffy couldn’t stop her self from moaning against it. She didn’t want to stop herself. Faith tasted so good, like the whisky she knew the other girl had been drinking, but something darker too. Something that she couldn’t taste in their dream, that she hadn’t been able to get enough of in the cemetery earlier. Buffy suddenly wanted to know what she tasted like everywhere.
Her hands flexed where they had been resting on Faith’s hips, pulling the dark girl tighter against her body. Buffy let her own mouth get into the game. Ignoring the cuts and bruises they both had, she pushed harder into this kiss, her tongue lapping at every soft warm inch she could reach. Buffy felt the moan that came from Faith all the way down to her toes… that was right before she felt the dark girls hands. They slid under her mud-covered sweater, so hot against her skin. It made her nipples get hard.
Buffy felt herself being lifted, spun around, and suddenly her back was against the wall. Her legs wrapped around Faith on pure instinct. It was almost an exact reversal of their positions earlier. And just the thought of that alone had Buffy whimpering as Faith tried to devour her in the kiss.
“Faith…” It was all Buffy could gasp as she tore her mouth away, desperate for air. She had forgotten any other word. And Faith’s lips were trailing a searing wet line down her neck, her tongue coming out to swirl random patterns over salty skin, teeth nipping a the tender spot of her pulse point…. Sucking on her collar bone
“B… shit B…I wanna…” Faith was panting moist breaths on her neck, grinding her hips between Buffy’s spread thighs, creating a friction so deep they were both feeling it despite the layers of clothes. Buffy sank her hands deep into the other girl’s hair, pulling Faith’s head back a little, they never stopped the searing rhythm.
She saw the desire written plainly in Faith’s eyes. Deep and unguarded, she wasn’t hiding anything. The sight sent a shocking pulse of arousal though Buffy’s entire body, it pooled hot and slick between her legs and she couldn’t help but moan at the feeling… the sudden urgency.
“Ohh god… Faith… want you…” she said it between gasps against the darks girls neck, her mouth sucking gently. Peach sweet and just as soft, Buffy wanted to mark her. She sucked harder; encouraged by the hiss of pleasure she heard… the tremors that seemed to be taking over the other girl. Just the thought that she was causing that… making Faith moan and shake… making that flush spread across her neck and chest, it turned Buffy on more than she thought was possible
She tried to work her hands under Faith’s tank… she had to get more skin. She needed it. She wanted the dark Slayer’s tits in her hands… She could see her nipples, straining against that too thin shirt. Buffy wanted to feel them dragging against her palm… against her tongue… just the thought made her wetter.
Buffy had been so worked up after the fight… after touching…after fucking Faith before that, and then getting interrupted, she was way past the point of simple arousal now. It was a need, pulsing hot and dripping as Faith’s hands managed to get a hold on her ass… squeezing it in time with the grinding of their hips… The pressure was just where she needed it, her clit jumping out of control with each push against it Buffy could hardly stand it.
“Faith… baby…” She couldn’t even finish ‘cause one of Faiths hands just gently cupped her left breast… Her thumb circled her nipple and Buffy thought she was gonna die. The pleasure was electric, shooting right to her pussy as Faith toyed with her nipple… pulling it… letting her fingers roll around it. She locked legs tighter around the dark girls hips… trying to ride her
“So soft B… god…wanna fuck you so bad… can feel how wet you are…you want me in ya B?” And Faith was talking to her… whispers that were nasty-sweet, burning against the her shoulder… all in that raspy tone that was wrapped in pure sex.
“uuunnuhhh god… yeah… Faith” Buffy was shocked she could even form the words… Faiths hand had abandoned her breast, it was now sliding down her side then lower in between them. It was cupping her over her jeans!
“Fuck… baby you’re soaked…I can feel it…” Her hand was already moving, rubbing her slow. Faith was watching her own hand as if she couldn’t believe it, then those dark eyes… bottomless in their wanting slid up to meet Buffy’s own, the sight was nearly enough to send her over the edge then and there. Seeing that lust, that ache she could feel herself, it made her feel wild… ferial.
She sank her hands back into Faiths hair, jerking the dark girls head towards her, crashing their mouths back together. It was a brutal kiss, almost violent, and Buffy didn’t know where the aggression had come from. It was all she could feel, thundering through her veins, mixing with the arousal… she felt dizzy at the sound of Faith’s moan, she had to have more… had hear it over and over.
She finally got her hands up under that skimpy excuse for a shirt Faith was wearing… she read the dark girls skin like she was blind… scrapes and cuts every where, but she was so soft, and warm.
She got her hands between them… covered Faiths breasts, hard nipples dragging against her finger tips, and Buffy watched in awe as the pleasure washed across the dark girls face… eyes fluttering, that sweet mouth open and panting…
“Oh fuck B… yeah like that...” And that voice again… dark raspy whisper.
Buffy’s hips moved faster demanding Faith’s hand to the same… her legs tightened even more hearing the other slayer whimper as she pinched her nipples harder.
“You like that Faith?” She breathed, then moaned as Faiths hand picked up the pressure working her aching clit through the material…
“god yeah… oh shit B” Buffy wanted their clothes gone. Like now. She was already so close she was shaking… her hips jerking randomly to break the rhythm… she couldn’t help it…couldn’t control it Buffy was loving it.
Buffy could feel herself slipping, her restraint dwindling. Faith’s hands… her mouth, her body all pushing her closer and closer into that dark place, that wild out of control place. Her muscles felt hot… twitching just like they did before a good slay. She let her hands slide down Faith’s back again, fingers digging into the pliant flesh… harder when she heard her named moaned… God she felt crazy! But Faith was talking to her again… her voice sounding strained this time
“Buffy… shit!” She was pulling away her had stopping that wonderful stroking against her pussy… why!?
“B… wait a sec…” What!? Faith wanted them to stop now? Buffy couldn’t wait, her body wouldn’t let her, it was demanding her to take what she wanted… to take Faith. She pulled her back crashing their mouths together again… pulling that plump bottom lip with her teeth… she loved the way her nails felt sinking into Faith’s warm skin…
“Buffy oww… stop it!” She had barely registered the words when she felt herself being slammed against the solid wall behind her… hard.
It was like a haze lifted suddenly as the pain shot through her already bruised body… she stumbled as she fell from Faith’s arms, barely landing on her feet. She looked up once she had regained her balance and Faith’s eyes were a mix of shock and concern
Fuck what had she done?!
“Faith! Oh my god I….” They were both still breathing hard. But Buffy’s heart was pounding with the realization of how out of control she had just gotten…how she could still feel it running though her, still wanted it. Buffy couldn’t understand it.
“I’m sorry! I’m so..” But Faith did. She was already taking the blond girl back into her arms trying to calm the shaking that had now seemed to be taking over Buffy’s slight form… whispering reassurance.
“It’s alright B…I get it…” To Buffy it felt like she was living the same moments over again. In dreams, in reality. Hurting Faith… Faith comforting her. What the hell was wrong with her!
“What’s wrong with me Faith?” She whispered fear and tears in her throat.
“Nothin’ is wrong with you B…” She actually sounded like she believed what she was saying! Faith was smiling and Buffy looked at her in disbelief. How could she be so casual about this! Buffy felt like she was losing her mind
“H-how can you say that! I…umm…” She gestured between them, at a loss for words, and Faith’s smile turned to more of a smirk as she leaned in and cut Buffy off, lips brushing hers gently, chaste.
“Baby, you didn’t even hurt me really, it’s just the Slayer in ya.” What the hell was that supposed to mean? She had never gotten this aggressive… this fierce with anyone else
“Its ok B…I feel it too. It’s IN us… you don’t have to hide it, not from me…” Faith was stroking her cheek so softly, you would never tell that seconds ago they were nearly tearing each other apart.
“I don’t?” still unbelieving
“Never B… Ya know, normally I’d be right there with ya with the grrr… but after the fight and all…” And with the words Buffy suddenly became aware of her own body, with the adrenaline finally wearing off and the arousal beginning to fade, Buffy realized that she was hurting all over…
“Yeah I guess we’re not really in any condition to… ya know…” Her smile was slightly embarrassed as she spoke. She couldn’t believe how fast things had gotten out of hand… it was just-
“I just… want you so much…” Shy again as she looked into the dark girls grinning eyes.
“I know the feeling” But Faith stepped back and Buffy felt lost without her warmth. “It’s gettin’ pretty late…” She began again
“yeah… maybe I should…um.” Buffy was already making a move towards the door
“No! Stay with me?” Faith got a hold of her hand, lacing their fingers.
“Ok…”
And that’s how the night had gone. Buffy had showered, changed into a huge t-shirt and crawled into bed with Faith. They had both been out in seconds, and now in the hazy light of morning Buffy couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was supposed to happen next.
She thought of her friends, what they would think… of the attack in the cemetery, new super vamps… Faith tasted so good… could she stand to see the look on Riley’s face, on any of their faces… Willow’s new dark eyes… when was she gonna tell her? They would be disappointed… would they reject her? Did she care? Faith made her feel so alive, so totally and completely… well, complete. So much was racing through her head she forgot for a minute to keep up her charade. She jumped a little a the sound of a sleep-roughened murmur
“Buffy… you awake?” Yup she was caught… so what was supposed to happen now?
Part 13
So much for the silence… I was loving watchin’ her sleep… Her eyes fluttered when I called her name, and sleepy green is revealed to me. Damn she’s beautiful, even all ruffled. But I hate that she’s awake now. ‘Cause that means its all over.
“Yeah… I’m awake…” She says. It’s my first time hearin’ her scratchy-morning-voice. My chest feels like its gonna bust open, ‘cause I know its gotta be the last. I look out the window at the rain still sliding over the glass, It’ll be easier if I just don’t look at her.
Nothin’s ever easy. I’ve been sitting here coming to that realization for the past hour or so. Nothing that is, but loving her. Hell, I’ve been doin’ that since the moment I set eyes on her. Yeah, I can admit it. Here and now, finally, is everything I’ve ever wanted. And for a moment, last night, I was so sure she wanted it too. Fuck, when she told me… I can hardly even think it! I thought I was gonna combust. It was so perfect. And then after… I can’t help but grin a little…heh, yeah, hotness.
Damn she just makes me feel things… wild and out of control type things. Its always been that way, no matter how much we tried to fight it. When she put me away it had faded some… the space between us too much I guess, and besides… nothing can bust through two-feet of concrete and steel bars. I was dead in jail anyway. Dead and haunted. But now… I feel so alive. It was like I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t feel my heart beating until the minute I set foot back on the outside… my first step back to her.
Back to makin’ things right.
And this, when we’re together, when she touches me…kisses me its so right. Its like I’m always burning for her. Like a comet entering the atmosphere, consumed by the fire before I can even touch ground… And its not just sexual either… no, seriously. I’m not whole if she’s not there. She feels it too. And that thought, that we’re finally on this same level, that she wants me just as much as I want her… it should bring me comfort…
Yeah, nothin’s ever easy. See, B isn’t ready.
“You sleep ok…?” I ask, trying to delay the inevitable and my voice sounds strained.
“Yeah… no crazy dreams.” She smiles, and it reaches her eyes. It’s breakin’ me. She reaches a hand from under the covers… “Come back… its still early.”
I want to. And I mean I REALLY want to. But I can’t, ‘cause she’s not ready.
See I think, when I was locked up, somethin’ happened to me. I think I got smarter about this whole life thing. Soul boy liked to call in ‘insight’. He told me I’d lived a lot to have lived so little… fuckin’ riddles…
Anyways, he said that I spent my whole life trying to survive. True, you don’t have a lotta time to sit around contemplating when you’re not sure where your next meal is comin’ from. Which is why prison was good for me. As much as I hated it, as much as it ripped me apart, it was a good thing. Those walls that pushed in around me, those dreams of dying every night… they helped me see, who I am… what WE are.
“Baby? What’s the matter?” Heh heh ‘baby’, god I love that… I must be worrying her with all this ‘deep in thought’ shit. But hey I thought she liked ‘em dark and brooding. Buffy can’t see it yet, she’s afraid to. I saw it in her last night, in that dream we shared before that. The girl is running from herself, from that darkness that’s part of us… that MADE us. It’s the part that allows us to stalk the night… to kill things, it’s the part of her that was able to stick a knife in my gut. But she still wants to keep it all in a nice pretty package.
Well it ain’t about the wrappin’ paper, its what’s inside the box that counts.
“Buffy… we really gotta talk.” Damn, did that sound ominous? Must have ‘cause she’s sitting up, pushing the covers outta the way. She’s got that concerned frowny pout thing going on… its even cuter than normal with her hair all crazy, I just wanna kiss her. A soft little hand touches my arm and its like my entire body prickles
“Um… Ok. Just, tell me what’s wrong.” And she moves to sit right next to me, her bare thigh brushes against mine and fuck its too close. I can’t think when I can feel the warmth just leaping off her body, when I can smell her skin.
I get up and start pacing back and forth in front of her… I can still feel her eyes like a caress though.
“Listen um… I think we really need to slow this whole thing down” I stop and meet her eyes.
“Wha- slow down?” Ok the eyes maybe not the best place to look… they’re pleading with me already. But I gotta say this. Its for both our sakes
“B, I just think that we’re kinda rushing this a little ya know? I mean, we’re hardly back to good… and we haven’t even talked about what went down the last time I was here…”
There is so much baggage between the two of us I don’t know how we could ever get past it all… she has to see that. I mean I wanted to do it all the right way this time. And a relationship with B? How can that be right when so much shit between us is wrong?
And ‘relationship’… fuck, I’ve never done that before. With all the trust involved and, expectation, I don’t know if I could deal… what if I let her down. What if she realizes she really doesn’t want me? It would send me over again… and god, just the thought of hurting B again… But wait! All this shit isn’t about ME, its about Buffy’s issues.
I gotta stay focused here… shit, she’s talking again…
“…and I know we have a lot to work out, but I want us to do that. Together…” She’s sittin’ on the end of the bed now… looking up at me with eyes so full of… everything. I feel my heart speed up. This is so damn hard! But I gotta do this…It’ll hurt less in the long run.
“No, you don’t want that B, you can’t!” I gotta make her see this, but I got a feeling that was exactly the wrong thing to say. She’s up in my face in an instant... eyes flashin’ anger and something else… disappointment?
But damn the girl is quick.
“And how the hell do you know what I want?! That I don’t want this?” Well duh? Her freakin’ out every time things get a little intense maybe?
“Cuz its obvious! You’re not ready for this B!” She’s not the only one who can get a little loud.
“What!? Was last night in the graveyard not ‘ready’ enough for you Faith?! ‘Cause the way I had you screaming for me, it seemed like I was perfectly ‘ready’ then!”
I can’t believe she just said that, and now she’s lookin’ all holy. Bitch.
“Fuck you that’s not even what I mean!” I mean seriously, ouch. But this is obviously upsetting her a lot… fuck are those tears? See this is the type shit I’m talking about its always been this way. So intense that we clash in one way or another… fighting or fuckin’ I guess.
“Then what DO you mean! Faith why are you doing this!?” Her voice is gettin’ all shaky all defeated, but-
“Don’t you see it’ll be better this way!?” She is just so stubborn!
“Faith… you’re the only thing I see…”
Oh. God. That was so not fair! I think I feel my heart breaking… suddenly my own eyes are burning. She takes a few steps to close the distance between us, and fuck its so good being this close to her… she cups those soft warm hands around my face…
“B…god B don’t say shit like that…” I can hear the tears in my voice… why does she make me feel so helpless, so conflicted? She’s kissing me… brushes of her lips all over my face… eyes, cheeks… I feel them against my mouth and my breath freezes… NO!
“Don’t…stop. B, that’s my whole point. I can’t be the only thing for you…” I push her back.
“Oh…” Its totally dead sound, like some one just flipped the off switch to her emotions. But it looks like she starting to get it. There’s definitely some realization goin’ on in her head… but she looks pissed as hell.
“Buffy it’s just that-”
“No, its alright… I- I get it now…” She does? I take a wary step closer and attempt to take her hand. But she just avoids me.
“You do? Really?” Is it too much to hope?
“Yeah, it’s… this is the ‘get gone’ part of the deal right?”
WHAT?!
“NO! B that’s not it!” Is that all she expects from me? She’s got the self-righteous eyes on again and I just want to shake her, I feel my fists clench…but I start pacing again instead.
“Shit B, what I mean is… you gotta life here. A whole bunch of people that count on you… that need you, that aren’t exactly crazy about ME. I’m not gonna ruin your life.”
“Is that it?! You’re scared of what they’re gonna think?”
Umm no? I mean hell no! I force a chuckle and pray its believable. She crosses her arms… lifts an eyebrow. Was that a challenge?
“I can give a fuck what they think!” Ok that’s not entirely true…at all. But I care MORE what they think of her… and again, this isn’t about what I’m scared of, so I say
“But YOU care… and that’s the thing B, there’s a part of us that you’re not ready to accept, that you don’t want anybody to see. You feel it all the time… you feel it more with me. You gotta deal with that first…”
Ok that threw her off her game a little. The defiant look in her eye is gone because she knows what I’m talking about… I mean Christ, she’s been a slayer longer than me! I thought she woulda come to terms with all this ya know? If she can’t even accept her self how the hell is she gonna deal with me with US… god I want there to be an ‘us.’
“I don’t… It doesn’t matter to me.” And she tries to say it with some conviction, but just comes out week.
“Right B, that’s why you went all spastic when everybody showed up last night!” I’m trying not to get pissed…really I am… but fuck it!
I wasn’t gonna bring that up again but man it just stings… how she was so quick to just throw me away. I mean, sure getting damn near caught with your pants down, can be a little awkward. And I’m not naïve enough to think she was gonna be all ‘hey guys! Look who I just fucked!’… But STILL. Just thinkin’ about it gets me pissed and depressed in equal parts…. Oh yeah… AND she still has a boyfriend. Why can’t it be easy?
“I said I was sorry for that!” what like I have the audacity to even bring it up?
“Right, you’re sorry you hurt me, you’re sorry ‘cause it was so easy for you!”
“You have no idea how hard it is! How this all terrifies me!” And she’s standin’ so close to me again… I’m startin’ to think she gotta thing for being in my personal space.
“Yeah I know B, you’re scared of what they would all think if-”
“No! I’m scared of what you make me feel….”
Oh… and now all the venom is gone from her voice and she just sounds… defeated.
“Can you help me Faith?” She comes close and wraps her arms around my waist. I’m not strong enough to push her away this time. She kisses my neck, close to my shoulder and I gotta try hard to find my voice.
“Help?
“Help me face this part of me… balance me?”
Ok she’s asking unstable slayer of the year for balance? How the hell am I supposed to help her? I barely can figure how to help myself? Does she realize what she’s askin’ me? She wants me to be the one she comes to for support… for trust? Again all that relationship stuff… Fuck that could never work, but she sounded so damn sure…
“B how can that work? H-how can you know-” She cuts me off when her thumb brushes my lip, she presses our foreheads together.
“I love you Faith, that’s all I need to know.” God why does she say these things? A few simple words and it all turns around… she just spins me. Her mouth follows where her thumb had been. Its one of those gentle kisses that just gets me shaking all over…B’s the only one that can do this to me… make me feel like I’m gonna fly apart with just a single kiss. This has all gotten so far from where I thought it was gonna go. All my resolve is just melting under the sweet pressure of her mouth as it slides over my own. I try to break away, but its just a hopeless gesture
“I- I can’t…we can’t B…” Oh, but we can. I’m kissing her deeper already… my tongue exploring the soft recesses of her moth as we shuffle backwards. Her knees hit the bed and we’re suddenly horizontal. Soft sheets and her skin… the only sounds our heavy breathing and the rain beating constant on the window. She feels so good under me.
That t-shirt she’s wearing is gone in a matter of seconds. Her hair goes tumbling everywhere as I pull it over her head… its shiny yellow silk in my hands. And she’s kissing me so deep now, like she needs it to live…her tongue wrapping around mine, I feel teeth on my bottom lip. So good, but I shouldn’t be doin’ this…
“W-we should stop… this… its wrong” I whisper across her lips. It sounds like I’m begging… and I am, but its with myself.
Her hands are holding on to my head and she’s got those strong skinny legs wrapped around me…kissing me with everything she has… fuck its desperate. God that’s exactly how I feel, I NEED her, but I pull my mouth away, cuz I need to breathe just a little bit more.
I’m kneeling between her legs now and I finally get to look at her… all of her. Fukin’ Christ she’s unbelievable…
“Buffy…” Its all I can breathe, what does that mean? This is wrong…
I let my eyes travel over all that’s exposed to me. Her skin is so flushed the pale light pouring over her body like a liquid…the cuts and bruises from last night have faded a lot… they’ll be gone by tonight… I let my fingertips brush gently over her knees…up her thighs, never felt anything softer than this… I shouldn’t go any further, but the higher I go the more the muscles of her stomach contract. Her breathing is picking up…her chest rising and falling so quick, her back arches and fuck I cant believe just this little touch is turning her on so much… that its turning ME on even more. I’m getting so wet just from watchin’ her react to me… my clit starts to throb as I watch her nipples harden.
“Faith…” she breathes my name like I’m her savior, it’s a beautiful sound, but it just makes that doubt in my head scream louder… how can I be the one she needs?
I watch as my hands tremble over her stomach… her skin is on fire, my thumb swirls over her navel and her hips jerk up towards me and it’s incredible. She makes this sound in the back of her throat… half moan and half whimper and its like pure need… it rolls down my spine and I can’t help but moan a little myself. My eyes travel lower on their own… to where she spread out for me and I’m suddenly breathin’ a hell of a lot faster too.
“B you’re so wet…” I can hardly recognize that whisper as my own, it was so rough and needy. I can’t help it though. Her juices are shiny, spread over the inside of her thighs… she just looks so swollen, so ready. My hands stay on her stomach though, makin’ those idle patters, it just seems to be makin’ her hotter… fuck she smells so good.
“Faith…god. Need you…” She practically growls as she takes one of my hands in hers and slowly drags it up. And we both moan when she stops over her left breast. The hard point of her little pink nipple is burning in my palm… my hands are still shakin’ like crazy.
“Touch me baby…” she whispers and arches her back again… pushing herself further into my hand. It’s sexy as hell… I start rubbing my palm over her nipple, letting it drag slowly over all the ridges of my hand… she makes that sound again. God I’m gettin’ so wet from this… her eyes are locked right into mine, they’re so dark there’s hardly any green left.
I take the tight little bud between my fingers, rolling it around over my thumb and her mouth falls open as her head tips back…Fuck I wanna take this slow, but just watchin’ her… I can feel my control slipping. I get my other hand into the action, squeezin’ and rubbing both her tits, her eyes flutter closed on a sigh… god she’s getting so worked up… my eyes fall back down between her legs and she’s dripping for me.
“Faith... baby I wanna feel you.” The sound of her voice draws my eyes away from her soaked pussy. It’s a dark needy sound.
“How?” I pinch her nipples harder… pullin’ a little and I get that moan again… makes me nuts… but there’s still that voice in the back of my head telling me I gotta stop this…
“T-take off your clothes Faith” But I can’t…She sits up to help as I pull my tank over my head. It puts right at eye level with my chest… this is goin too far.
“Oh fuck! Buffy!” The sudden feel of her hot mouth over my aching nipple has me moaning outta my mind. Her tongue is flicking over it as she sucks on me… it so good I can hardly stand it. I feel my pussy contract as a hot flood drips outta me. I hold her head in one hand as we fall back again, keeping her mouth attached to my breast, I support my weight with the other arm. Suddenly stopping this is the last thing on my mind. B seems to be right there with me. Her hands are sliding down my back… down to my ass and she jerks me down between her legs again.
“Oh shit B…” I have to gasp, the feeling of her heat spreading all over my stomach makes my whole body tense up. I wanna taste that heat… be in it. I slide down her body, touching, kissing her everywhere. It feels so... sacred, and I want to worship her forever. I feel saved when I reach her breasts… when she arches into my mouth, puts her hands in my hair. But I can’t stay long.
I move lower, feeling her skin jump and twitch under my lips… Her breathing is so ragged, those whimpers turning into moans. I curl my hands around her hips, because they’re moving constantly now, her pliant little body reaching for me.
“Faith…please.” I can barely hear her over the rushing in my head, Its all gone too far… Her hands are pushing me lower and all of a sudden I’m there. I’ve never been nervous about these sorta things, but now, my breath is shuddering out of my lungs. I get my first taste of her high on the inside of her thigh… and its darker than I could have ever dreamed. She tastes like sex… like raw femininity, and the heat is just coming off of her in waves.
“Oh… god… baby” She’s trembling all over and so am I. I feel her nails rake over my y scalp as her hands clench in my hair. She’s almost frantic, but I need to take this slow, need to look at her… fuckin’ beautiful. Her lips are puffy, glistening with her need, and her clit has to be aching … the thought that I did that to her, its just unbelievable. I finally lower my mouth to her and it feels reverent. She hisses at the first contact, my lips placing a tender kiss on her swollen clit. Then those strong hands are pulling me closer, and her hips start up a rhythm immediately.
“Faith! nuuuhh...lick me baby…” I can’t believe this his happening… that I’m sliding my mouth around in her, covering my self in her juices. I press my tongue against her clit and she’s so hard I can feel her pulsing. My hands slide up her thighs, spreading them wider as I bury my face in her heat. I’m never gonna be able to get enough of this… of her.
We both moan as I push a finger into her. I tare my mouth away, because I just have to see this… I have to believe it. Her back arches hard as I add a second, it’s so tight.
“…oh fuck…baby…yes.” I start pushing in and out of her and I’m torn between watching my hand or the pleasure that is sliding over her face. She’s frowning a bit concentrating on the feel of me fuckin’ her… those long lashes are resting against her cheeks, and she keeps biting her bottom lip… trying to muffle those sexy groans and sighs that keep breaking free, a fine sheen of sweat is covering her and she’s almost glowing in the early morning light.
I can feel her starting to tighten up around my fingers… she so close but she fighting it, those moans getting harder and harder to restrain. I speed up my thrusts, pushing into her as deep as I can… curling my fingers a little. I need to see her come. Its like I can almost feel it building inside me… its never been like this. I lower my mouth over her aching clit again… take it between my lips and suck.
“ahh...g-god… Faith” I can feel her getting wetter, I can taste it but then “Faith S-stop baby… wait…”
“What?” I pull my mouth away… panting…licking her juices from my lips. My hand keeps going though, still fuckin’ her but slower. “What’s wrong B?”
Please don’t tell me she wants to stop, not now, not when I need this so bad.
“Get… uuuhh…up here… want…need to feel you” Relief washes through me and I crawl quickly up her body until were face to face again. She gets her hands back in my hair and kisses me hard. I know shes gotta be tasting herself, but she’s lovin’ it.
“Clothes… off... Faith.” She mumbles against my neck. I feel her teeth scrape me gently and I think I’m gonna die. We get my shorts off quick and now, there’s nothing but skin. Hers and mine and it feels like my whole world just stopped.
Our eyes are locked as I sink down on to her…into her, our centers pressing together. She’s breathing in all gasps, sharp… erratic. Her eyes flutter open and B’s looking at me with every kind emotion. My heart is suddenly in my throat as I realize… this is so much more than sex. I can hardly breathe at the thought. I try to swallow down the sudden wave of nerves but its almost overwhelming… God this is everything to me… SHE is everything! Im shakin’ all over again… I can’t do this!
“Buffy I-I can’t…I… oh god!” She moves her hips… rolling them up and the pleasure rushes through me as our clits grind together.
“Ahh fuck B!” I almost come then and there.
“Look at me Faith… feel me” Her hands are cupped around my face… she’s so open right now. And I do feel her… everywhere. It’s so intense. I can only hope I’m reflecting every I’m feeling right back at her. I start moving with her, sliding against her. Its all so wet and slick and hot I’m on the edge of way too quick. And the whole time she’s just lookin’ right into my eyes, letting our bodies set a pace that’s getting more and more frantic with each passing second.
“B… ahh fuck… I-I’m gonna…” they way she’s looking at me… how she’s panting right along with me tells me she’s just as close.
“I know…me too…mmm--don’t stop baby…” Her nails are raking down my back I gotta struggle to keep my eyes open, I have to see her… need to. And then it starts. Her eyes flicker closed just for an instant before they open wider than before. Her whole body surges against me and I feel it… in the slick heat between us, rolling down my spine, prickling my skin and thundering through every inch of me. And somewhere distantly I hear both of us moaning… shouting desperately but all I can see is her eyes.
___________________________________________________________________
It’s a little later now… I’m not real sure how much time has past, just been soaking up the afterglow... But its not peaceful, not like when I first woke up… God I just made love for the first time and its not peaceful! B’s got her body slung half over mine, her warm skin making all the sheets and blankets unnecessary. I’ve been trying to sort through all the shit in my head. She wants to give this all a go, she doesn’t want the consequences of what that could mean… I want… hell I just want it all to be right.
“Don’t doubt this… don’t doubt that I love you.” She whispers so soft, and I open my eyes to see the watery depths of hers. How does she get in my head like that?
Fuck just hearing those words… she just has this pull over me… IN me. Its every thing good inside me, everything that makes me want to come outta these damn shadows. Everything in me that makes me wanna live in the light. Its all her, and it makes me feel whole. But its not enough…
“I know Buffy… its just not enough.” And then there’s this silence, so heavy I can feel it crushing me. There’s just the rain. I want to say it back… I want to shout it to the world that I love her more than anything in this life… ‘cause I do, but I just can’t.
She pulls away from me and I hear her choke on a sob. Why can’t it be easy.
“Its getting late, we should get going. The gang’s gonna be waiting.” She says finally... her voice is strained. She gets up and puts the T-shirt back on, looking around for the rest of her clothes.
“They’re all getting together at mine to figure out what went down last night…”
“Yeah, they’re probably freakin’… what did you tell them after I left?” I stay in the bed, and wrap the covers around me. I feel like I need the protection
“Nothing…”
“What are you gonna tell them now?”
“I don’t know…nothing.” I can’t really ask for anything more than that. Its all she can give me right now. I watch her walk out the door, the soft click of the wood echoes through the loft and I feel my eyes burning. She loves me, but its not enough.
Copyright © 2004,
All Rights Reserved. | Contact Owner Contact Webmaster
