PART 23
I’m nervous. So nervous. My palms are sweating, and yet I feel so turned on. I want it, well, not necessarily *it*, that way I mean, but when she’s looking at me like that it doesn’t matter the way she will do it; all I know is I want her to take me…
Relax, Buffy. Relax.
“Alright, just relax, Buffy.”
She reads my mind. It’s not like I wasn't trying already.
Hey, what is she doing? She’s almost above my face, on her knees on the bed. Well, the thing is very close at least. God I hope she doesn’t want me to do *that*, no I can’t.
“No, Faith, I-“ oh I almost made her trip so much I sat up straight brutally. Thank God for slayer reflex. Ok, what did I just say?
Whatever. Thank God I held her back.
“What’s wrong? I mean, if you don’t want to, just say so. No need to push me like that.”
“No, no I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“T’s ok. Let me get rid of this.”
Huh? What is she doing?
“Faith? What are you doing?”
She looks puzzled, “I’m not gonna sleep with that on me, B.”
“No, but. Why are you taking it off, I mean NOW?”
“Err, B? You just told me you didn’t want to do it anymore.”
Huh?
“No. That’s not what I meant… I just, I don’t want to, you know… suck it.”
Now she really looks perplexed. “Suck it? Oh, no! That’s not what I-. Look at the shelf above your head. I just meant to grab the lube from it.
Oh.
“Now, I’m embarrassed.”
Luckily she gives me that wonderful smile of hers. The smile that makes everything else go away.
“Why would I want you to suck on it, B? Not like I would feel something, right?”
I can’t agree more.
“I really just meant to take the lube. I want to make sure I don’t hurt you.”
I hate to admit that but err, “Well, I’m kind of… still wet from… earlier you know.”
She smiles wickedly, “That, I know,”
Oh God she rubs my clit. Oh God yes. She kisses me so well.
“But I REALLY want to make sure I DON’T hurt you.”
She whispered those words so truthfully, so firmly too, God I just shivered. She lies me down on my back and I just let her do…
I let her lead us both tonight, it feels so wonderful…
Kissing me now… Mmmm, I can’t help moaning. She’s making her way down… Oooo yes, down. Oh God, oh yes. That tongue of hers… I’m gonna be extra wet if she keeps licking me like that….
I heard a slight ‘popping’ noise. Probably the lube tube. I can’t even focus on anything else now. I only feel her, the pleasure she’s giving me. Mmm, yes, kissing my belly button…
I have to calm the anxiousness coming back as she makes her way back up…
Everything is gonna be just fine…
My God I can feel the *thing* against my thigh as she sucks on my nipples.
My neck… Mmmm.
“Are you still… ok to it?” She whispered in my neck, looking at me now.
“Yes…” I pull her closer. I wanna kiss her. I’m not scared, it’s gonna be fine. I feel her hand down there. Oh God, I feel it. I think. I’m scared…
“Are you alright, Buffy?”
“I think I am.”
She caresses my face, oh my God, she’s pushing it in. God I just gasped.
“You’re ok?”
“Yes. I- Yes.”
“You sure?”
I think she must be half way inside of me. This thing’s bigger than it looked like. I’m really glad we didn’t keep the first one.
“Yes, it’s… I just need to… It’s alright.”
“We can stop now if you want.”
“No, no,” she’s so pretty, I can’t help taking her face in my hands. She looks so young, so frail, “I want you to take me like that.”
She smiles. She’s in my neck, kissing me tenderly. She withdraws it, I guess she’s going to-yes, thrust again. I try not to squeeze her. I don’t want her to think it hurts. It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t actually do me good either, not right now at least, but it doesn’t hurt. Ok, maybe a little. I don’t think it’s pain really. It’s-oh God! She pushed deeper this time. In point of fact, I think it hurts less now. Maybe I just need to adjust to it… I wonder how she feels.
There’s a plug inside of her, I wonder if it hurt when she put it in, she didn’t say. I hope it didn’t. It’s supposed to feel good, isn’t it?
“God!”
“Are you ok? I’m sorry, Buffy.”
“No, it’s ok. I was just… surprised.” It’s completely inside of me this time.
“I won’t do it again.”
“You’re so cute,” oh yes she is, “but it’s ok, it’s getting better in fact.”
“Really?” She’s so hopeful.
“Yes it is. Keep, keep going,”
She smiles, I take it she likes it and doesn’t really want to stop.
It feels a little weird to see her thrust ‘like a guy’. Well, she’s going really, REALLY, slowly right now. But seeing her ass go up and down like that… It’s a little different. Oh, she fastened the pace and oh, oh, I-I feel. Oh God.
“What? Did I hurt you?”
“No, no, it’s good. I think, keep going, oh yes, just like that.” God I squeezed her arms again. It’s brushing hard against my G-spot and wow, it’s working…
“God, Faith,”
She kisses my neck. I feel my legs parting on their own. God! Seems she’s going even deeper inside of me.
Her breathing has increased so much. I think she feels it too cause I can feel her fingers squeezing my skin tightly now.
Oh God, faster yes.
“Mmmm, Faith. Yes, it’s good.”
“Do you like it? I mean, really?”
She’s so out of breath, “Yes, Faith, good, mmm.” I think I’m even worse; I can’t form a coherent sentence.
What is she doing? She just propped herself on her elbows and she grabs my shoulders from under now and wow, oh God yes, she’s thrusting harder.
“Is it ok?”
“Yes, oh God yes, harder.”
She sure knows how to do that; harder, and faster too. I never thought this would turn out to be good, so good.
She groaned… God I think she’s about to come. I’m glad I’m a slayer cause she’s thrusting so hard now.
God I’m getting close too. Oh God yes!
God this is so good!
I think she just came, she almost tore my skin apart on my shoulders, “Are you close?”
“Yes, yes keep going, Faith… Please yes…”
Not that she had stopped.
“Oh yes, Faith, God yes!” I didn’t think she could thrust harder than she already was and oh- oh! Oh!!
“Faith!!!!” Oh God, it came from everywhere. God I feel like my body just exploded…
“Wow, that was...”
I think she liked it too, a lot. She looks at me now. “Are you alright? I mean... did you... like it?”
“Yes, Faith. I really liked it.”
“I'm sure you didn't think you would, am I wrong?”
She smiles at my admitting blush. I'm really glad I was wrong though.
“We should sleep, it's getting late now, what time is it exactly?”
She frowns, “I'm sure it's not that- oh wow, it's almost 3!”
“Really?! What time is the train already?”
“8.”
“Faith we can't miss it, I promised that I would be home for lunch.”
“Don't worry, B. We'll be there.”
“I don't know you, but I'm kinda beat. I think we should go to the train station now and wait there so that we're sure we don't miss it.”
“Relax B.” She's cheating, touching me *there*. Yes that's relaxing but, that’s still cheating.
“We'll make it on time. And like you said; kinda beat. I ain't sleeping on a bench when I can sleep in a bed with a beautiful girl in my arms.”
Me?
She knows how to get her way, doesn't she? Mmmm, I can already feel myself fall asleep. Yes, definitely now with her lying on my side, her arms wrapped around my stomach ... mmm sleepy now.
“Faith?!!”
“Huh, what?!”
“Faith! What time is it? It's daylight outside! What time is it?”
“Stop screaming like that! I'm sure it' -oh! Err.”
I'm gonna kill her. I knew we wouldn't get up on time!! “WHAT TIME IS IT?”
“It's, err, ten.”
“Oh God dammit! I'm so dead.”
“It's alright, call your father and tell him Sarah really insisted for you to stay for lunch. We'll take the 11 am train and you'll be there around 2pm.”
She makes it sound so simple. But it's not!
“B. Don't be mad.”
“I'm not mad. I'm just... You're not the one who's gonna spend the rest of your life locked up in your room, grounded. If he doesn't kill me first that is.”
“He's not that bad. Chill a little, B.”
She's too much! I get up now, “Chill?! Are you stupid? What do you think is the first thing he's gonna do when he finds out who I was with, huh?!” I think I scored there. Seeing her face now, I think she registered.
“Yes, Faith. No more weekend, no more movies, no more... you and me.”
She looked appalled as I said that.
She gets up now and pull up her pants, “I'm sure you're exaggerating.”
“Let's NOT find out.”
I think I really 'scared' her now, mostly since I'm already all dressed up and waiting at the door. She has to understand. It would be... it would be the end if he ever found out. I have this feeling in my guts and it can't happen! I need her.
She's ready.
“Let's motor.” She heads out.
We're finally there. It's 2. Dad didn't sound pleased at all when I called but at least he won't know it. Let's get out of the train. What is Faith doing?
“Come on, hurry Faith.”
“It's ok B. Relax, we're back and everything's fine.”
“Oh, no.”
“What? What's wro- oh shit.”
That's, that can't be real. What- What are they doing here? I think I'm gonna faint.
“In the car, now.”
The look on daddy's face is... Oh God, what did I do? How did he learn?
“Now!”
I wish I was dead right now. I can't even look at Faith. I can barely see the disappointed look on Sarah's face. God I wish I could just lock myself in the car and just die. I so can't face him now. He's in. He starts the engine...
When is he gonna yell?
He's silent. Too silent. I wish he would just yell now.
“Dad I'm-“
“I don't want to hear anything, Buffy. I couldn't trust any of it.”
His tone is so dry, so bitter. No, daddy believe me I... I didn't wanna lie but... Can’t tell him that. Won’t believe me.
I wonder what's going on with Faith and Sarah. I hope Faith won't have to go back to her mom. That would be awful for her and... she'd be away from me... That would really be like being dead....
He hasn't said anything yet and we're almost home. I think I couldn't feel worse than I do now.
“I thought I'd been maybe too much on your back lately. Thought I’d really become that annoying and strict father mine was. So I thought I'd take you out to a pizzeria or whatever would have pleased you. I'd even considered taking Faith since you'd started studying seriously again. But it was all fake, Buffy."
“No, it wasn't daddy I swear. I hadn't planned this. I've been working harder.”
“Don't lie to me, Buffy. Imagine my surprise when I called this morning and Miss Jenkins asked me if everything was going ok with you girls? Oh I bet it was. I was at her place, calling the cops, worrying, trying to find out where you were at the time you called for more lies. Her Aunt had guessed right then; she'd thought you'd gone there.”
I so don't like his sigh. We're at the apartment. He doesn't even wait for me.
“Dad, dad please,” Damn I’m crying.
“I'm so disappointed in you, Buffy.”
I can't walk; I can't face his gaze on me.
“Come in now.”
I wish I could just run away... I don't wanna face what's to come.
“Go to your room.”
“Dad, please. I'm sorry,”
“You're going to be very sorry that's for sure.”
“Please I didn't mean to,”
“Where did you sleep?”
“We... We were at a friend of hers.”
“A man?” He sounds so tough.
“I don't know, I mean, I think, yes, but we didn't see him. It was in a store he owns. There's a room in the back store. That was safe daddy.”
“I want the name of that store and that man.”
“Dad, please, don't make a-“
“Buffy! I'm your father so I think I have the right to make a big deal of this. Who can be carefree enough to let 15 years old girls spend the night alone in a store, without even checking with their parents?! And who was this man, a good friend of hers, right?”
I can feel despise in the way he said hers.
“You're not seeing her ever again, Buffy, do you hear me?”
No, no, don't hear anything right now. I'm deaf, I'm blind, I’m dead...
“No, dad, you can't, I'll do anything but-“
“I'm your father so you'll do as I say. This girl is trouble, Buffy. See the acquaintances she has. And Miss Jenkins herself admitted having a hard time with her. She's just bringing you down her mischievous path.”
“Dad, no, she-“
“So it was your idea then to go to Boston, HER hometown. To go sleep at HER friend's?”
God what can I say now? I wanna defend her. I want to but... there's nothing I can say that could make him change his mind. And there he is; offering me a 'way' to get out of this in 'one piece'... but isn't the price too high? She's worth more than this, I know but-
“Was it?!”
“Dad.”
“Answer me, Buffy.”
“No.” I hate myself.
“You won't see her ever again. I thought you'd understood with Emery, falling into the wrong crowd. Thought you'd stay out of trouble.”
“She's not trouble-“
“I think you need to see someone. I've thought about it already and I think it would help.”
What?
“Someone?”
“A specialist.”
A shrink?! I'm not crazy! I'm just... in love... with a girl... I guess it qualifies crazy for him..
“You keep getting into trouble. Doing 'things' to get attention or anything they would say teenagers do.”
“I'm not trying to get attention.” God the way he said 'things'. He sounded disgusted. I can't stand the way he looks at me now.
“I didn't do anything bad.”
“You should go to your room now. No going out, no hanging out with your friends. And most certainly no calling or seeing, Faith.”
“We go to the same school.”
“I'll do whatever it takes to make sure you stay out of her influence. She's bad for you, Buffy. You don't wanna end up like her.”
“How can you talk about her like that?! You don't know her!” That's it I'm mad this time.
“Don't talk to me like that, I'm your father!”
“I’m going to my room now.” I don't want to see him anymore.
“You can't see it now, but I know what is good for you. This isn't you, Buffy. She's bad for you. You deserve a better life than 'this'.”
I just slammed the door. I hate him! Hate him! Hate him! I hate myself! And I hate her too! I told her it was a bad idea! I told her. ‘Relax B. It'll be fine’. The fuck it went fine! I told her... Better than 'this'. What did he mean by this? Oh I so know what he meant... Why? Why does it sound so bad in his voice when it's so beautiful in her arms.... I don't understand why it has to be that way... If only I could always feel like that, but I know how I feel; it's his fault, makes me feel like it IS bad. I wanna feel like it's not. I don't wanna let her down but I think... I’m not strong enough... Wrong call; I can’t be The Slayer, The Chosen One... I’m not a strong person, not strong enough... No I’m not.
