PART 5
“See, it’s great that we got here early, we get to sit in the back.”
“You like to sit in the back?” I ask, she nods.
“I can see everyone but no one can see me, I prefer that, dunno why.”
I like her lipstick, ok, where did that thought come from? Oh just forget about it Buffy.
“I think you’re right, what’s the movie about already?”
“You have to see it, do you know Angelina Jolie?”
“No.”
“I think she’s a great actress, I saw her last year in a movie call ‘Hackers’ about computer geniuses hacking the government and stuff; pretty cool.” I smile at her, she’s such a rebel.
“I’ve seen this one last week and I really liked it. I think she’s gonna be a big movie star in a couple of years.”
She sounds really enthused about this actress “I believe you, what’s the name of the movie already?”
“Foxfire.”
“And it talks about?” I tried again. She smiles,
“Girls running with foxes.”
I can’t help but smile back at the way she’s smiling. Alright, I just have to raise my hands in defeat I guess, “Ok, I’ll just have to watch then.”
“Exactly” She nods. The lights went off. It starts.
Yes! I knew she was gonna free the frog, poor frogs anyway, I hope they’ll never make us do that at school... So far I like this movie, I know it’s just the beginning but I like it. Even though it’s hard to focus on it right now. I can hear her, I mean, she’s breathing much louder than normally, or, I don’t know, maybe it’s the darkness or the silence, and I feel like, I don’t dare look at her but it feels like she’s looking at me... And I-oh my! ... She’s touching my hand, no, TAKING my hand! It feels... good. I just follow I guess. I don’t know what’s happening, I have her hand in mine and it feels, yes, good.
Breath Buffy, it’s normal, it’s New York City, people do things that way here, right? That must be it, and it’s normal it feels good even if I’m not from here cause it’s in the sky, right? Ok, so that’s said; everything is normal....
Her breathing is steady now, I know I’m smiling... I really like the movie...
“So, did you like it?” She asks as we’re heading out. It’s already dark outside.
“Yes, I did, very much. It’s a shame though that she never got to see Legs again.”
“Maybe they weren’t meant too, Legs only opened her eyes on, well, her life, life in general I guess.”
“Life and love,” I think.
“Life and love maybe yes.” She looks in front of her, I really like her lipstick, come on Buffy!! Focus Buffy, God she’s looking at me.
“What do you wanna do now, B?”
“Well, tomorrow’s Monday, school, I think dad would be happy if I didn’t come home late today. He tried his best to spend the most of the weekend home so...”
“I understand, let’s walk you home then.”
“Ok, let’s go.” Oh my God I took her hand in mine. I DID. No, yes? No, she doesn’t say anything. I don’t know why I did that, it just felt like... the thing to do, and now we walking hand in hand. Not too close though, I think that’s ok, friends walk hand in hand all the time. I used to do that sometimes with the girls back there at Emery, then, why does it feel so weird with her? Let’s not dwell on that...
“Damn what is this?”
“I don’t know,”
Seems weird, there are cops and firemen, the streets are blocked over here “Hey, look, there’s smoke over there.” I get it now. “We have to go by the embankment then, right?”
“No it’s too long that way, and chances are it will be locked up too, come on I know another way, if you’re not afraid of rats that is, cause it’s dirty alleys.”
I nod, I never feared rats.
“Are you sure it was shorter that way?” I try to sound joking but honestly, it’s like a labyrinth in here and I have no idea where we are and it’s so dark and these flats are so high.
“Well I-“ She looks hesitant, “hate to admit that but I think I took the wrong direction, we should have turned left a little while ago. I got confused. Sorry. I can’t focus.”
Why did she blush when she said that? And wow, she’s cute when she blushes. Come on Buffy, you’re lost here so not the time!
“It’s ok, we just have to go back then.”
“Ah!!!” Damn they scared me, well, us cause she screamed louder than I did. And now I smell trouble as it doesn’t seem to be a coincidence that these two men are standing in our way without us even hearing them behind us. Thinking about it, I did have a weird feeling in my stomach earlier and YES! There are vampires, I’m sure they are, I can feel that.
“Well well, what do we have here? Did you get lost little girls? Too bad for you, you’ll never get out of this alley alive.” They definitely are vampires to be so lame but... I can’t fight them in front of her and she’s, wow, she looks so scared right now, it’s ok Faith, I can handle it. I wish I could tell her.
“Fresh meat, we’re gonna have fun with you a little while before getting to the serious part.”
I really don’t like the way he’s looking at us right now and God she’s squeezing my arm so tight, she doesn’t like it more than I do. I take her by the shoulder,
“Go away, go find the cops.”
“No, y-you,” She’s stammering,
“It’s ok, remember those moves, go find some help I’ll be fine. Go!” I say as I push her away, she starts running, of course I knew they would go after her, well, they would try. First punch to block them and that’s game face. Finally.
“Well boys, let’s have some fun together.” They look less proud now but they charge again.
Duck, kick, ok, gotta find, yes, wood here. Ouch, son of a... Dust YES!
“Your turn now!”
Punch, re-punch and punch again. I know I should off him already but it’s been a while, I've missed this. Huh?! What did I just say? Ok, dust now. No way have I missed this, it’s just... It’s the air in here. This town is driving me crazy, that’s the only way cau-
“Buffy!”
“It’s ok!” I yell so she can hear me, she’s coming back to me in a rush, oh my God she holds me so tightly,
“I was- I was, where, where are they?” She finally realized they weren’t there anymore.
“Err, I kicked one in the balls and I think they got scared cause we talked about the cops you know, they just left. Don’t worry it’s ok, but what are you doing here? I thought you were searching for the cops?”
“I–I was running but I-I couldn’t let you, God I was so scared,” This I know, she’s still shaking, it’s weird.
“I couldn’t let them... touch you.”
Really weird, I don’t, I don’t like the way she said touch me, I really have a weird vibe coming off from her on certain things.
“Touch me?”
“I mean, hurt you, you know. They would have hurt you and God knows what else they would have done and- and, I-I can’t-“
“It’s ok, breath,” God she’s like, having a panic attack or something, it’s like she can’t breath normally,
“It’s ok, Faith, I’m alright and you’re alright too.” I caress her face gently. She’s
trying to catch her breath back.
“Sit down on that box carton for a while, it’s gonna be ok.”
“No it’s fine, I’m fine. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have freaked out like that. You must think I’m stupid right now cause you, you weren’t scared at all.”
“Yes I was, I just tried not let them see it too much that’s all, but I was very scared too.”
“You know Faith I-“ Wow, why did she do that? And now she’s feeling bad; she gave such a jump as I tried to take her hands, she brushed me off so abruptly, something’s really wrong there.
“I’m sorry Buffy, I-I, I didn’t mean.”
“It’s ok, just, well, no, it’s not ok. What is wrong, Faith? What happened?”
“Nothing, why do you say that?”
“You’re afraid of something, and the way you act with guys and... the things you say, is something wrong? What happened in Boston?” I really have a bad feeling about all this. She’s looking aside but I can see tears in her eyes. It makes me feel so bad to see her like that. I’m gonna try to move closer, slowly this time. Fine, she lets me caress her face,
“Please, tell me, you know you can trust me. Did anything bad ha-“
“No, no! Leave me alone!”
“Faith, Faith!”
Please don’t go. I made her run away, nice job. I feel really, really bad and sad right now. I wish.... Better get back home now. I hope she’s alright. I’ll see her tomorrow... hopefully.
Dammit, she’s not in detention! She’s been avoiding me all day long. Well, when I saw her with Shane, Bren and Max, she acted as if she didn’t see me. I wish I’d gone to talk to her then, I wanted to wait for lunch but she didn’t show up. I want to talk to her alone... but maybe she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. At least now I know she’s ok, well, physically speaking at least... I just wished she would talk to me....
Time to go home. Maybe tomorrow.
School sucks! We got a surprise test in Spanish today. I’m in a bad moody already and it’s just 11:00. Still haven’t seen her though I checked her classes. Maybe she’s late.
I’m glad this day is over, Sean told me at lunch that she told them yesterday she wouldn’t come today, didn’t say why though. Bad day, except maybe for seeing Danny. He, contrarily to Faith, wants to talk to me... a lot. It kind of puts me in a difficult position, I nicely avoided his hidden invitation to that party they’re going to tomorrow though. Don’t know how long I will be able to hold him back. Don’t wanna brag but he’s really interested in me, but I must say right now, I’d rather talk to her first. I can’t think of anything else. I wish I knew what she is thinking.
I think today was the worst day EVER, I sat there at lunch with them cause she was there but; first, she was sitting on the other side so of course I could hardly start a private talk, and secondly, she totally ignored me, so that didn’t help either. And Danny was talking to me all the time, not displeasing talk but now I will never know what she’s really mad at me for, or if maybe we had a chance to reconcile. The Hell with that, what I am saying now? I don’t even know why she’s not talking to me anymore. And what do I care anyway!? That’s her problem and it’s just stupid that she’s not talking to me anymore and I'm the one who should be mad and.... why doesn’t she want to talk to me anymore? I hate this town, let’s go home. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, lunch will be at least, because it’s Thursday so there’s French fries, one good thing... I have to think positive, don’t I?
Now what is this? Green jelly, potatoes? Where are my fries?! I hate this school. How can they all talk and smile like that? Everything sucks in here! She’s not even here; Bren told me she eats outside sometimes. Yeah, she has a tendency to do that a lot when I’m eating at her friends’ table. I got the message I think. Tomorrow I’ll sit somewhere else, bet that’ll make her come back. I wish things didn’t turn out this way. We were... I don’t know, I felt so close to her, I thought she felt that too but... Oh Danny’s talking to me I didn’t hear what he said,
“Err, sorry I didn’t hear you, what did you say?”
“You seem to not hear a lot of what I say every time I invite you somewhere, right?”
Damn, he noticed, “I’m sorry, it’s not that,” I try to give him my best smile. He smiles back.
“Look Summers, I think I know what you’re thinking, you probably know by now about Faith and I dating, and I understand she’s your friend but, it’s history now, it was a while ago. She’s dated others since and I did too, there’s no problem.”
“I know, that’s what she told me, but she’s not really well lately,”
“Faith is never well, Buffy.” His tone is so natural, does he know something?
“What do you mean?!” Ok I think I was a little aggressive there. He doesn’t seem surprised though, so he didn’t notice then, cool. Don’t want all of them to not talk to me anymore too. I’m really not good at socializing lately.
“I just mean, the more you know her the more you’ll realize there’s always something wrong with her. Always, and you never get to know what. So eventually you give up trying to find out.”
“That’s what you did, right?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Yes it does, cause maybe that’s the problem. Maybe people are not trying hard enough to find out. Maybe they don’t care. I wish I didn’t care so much but the thing is; I do.
“I’m sorry, gotta go.” I can’t stay here anymore. Sorry for him, he looks really annoyed.
Ok, end of day four, just one more day and comes the weekend, I can’t wait cause so far, this week sucks.
“Summers! Hey Summers!” What’s with the rush?
“Danny, hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just. Look, Buffy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive earlier. It’s great that you care about Faith and-“
“You don’t have to justify yourself, it’s your business and-“
“I loved her.”
I wasn’t excepting that.
“I mean, yes somehow I think I did. At least I really cared, I had feelings, I even told her but... she never let me in. She had just arrived here and she was acting really weird sometimes you know. I guess I didn’t want to tell you this in front of the others; but I did care, and I did try. Maybe not long enough but... she didn’t feel what I was feeling and I don’t hang around potential hurt, so I broke it up, she was pushing me away, waiting for me to do it anyway, and I did it. It’s maybe weak of me but it is what it is. I was falling in love and she wasn’t. I’m sorry but, I’m not the masochist type of guy so I did what any guy would have done.”
I don’t know what to tell him, I don’t even know how I should react in fact. Is it bad is it good? It’s maybe just human... I guess, dunno. He’s looking at me with his charming gaze again.
“Now Buffy, it’s not about Faith anymore. We’re not getting engaged or anything. What I asked you for at lunch was to go to a movie tonight with me. It’s early; you can give it a try, can’t you?”
Said like that, of course I can but.... Well, yes, I guess it’s not his fault she’s not talking to me anymore. And what if she doesn’t want to talk to me again, EVER? As much as I do not like that idea, I would have to deal with it. And Danny’s a good guy, and so very cute. Maybe he’s right. I could give it a try. Just so that I don’t lose everything. After all, it’s just a movie, right?
“Well, ok.”
“Really?”
He’s cute now “Yes, really, so what do you want to see?”
“I think there’s a movie with some high school girls getting wild and-“
“Not that one! I mean, already saw it.”
“Ok, we’ll just see whatever you want then, ready?”
“Let’s go.”
