PART 15
Faith kept staring straight at Buffy, disbelief and wonder on her face and soon disappointment.
Buffy swallowed, “Faith, this isn't what you think.”
Anger replaced disappointment on Faith's face and she tried to push Buffy's hand away but Buffy didn’t let go.
“Don't do that. Please listen to me.”
“So that you can screw me over some more? How stupid do you think I am, Buffy?”
“That’s not what I did. Please I swear it's not what you think.” Buffy said as she moved in between Angel and Faith.
“What I think is that you'd better get out of my way or I swear I'll make you.”
“Please Faith listen to me. We can't-”
Buffy was cut by Faith's attempt to make her move. They struggled for a short while but Buffy managed to push her backwards again.
Faith squeezed her stake and took a deep breath to calm herself down, “You've got it all wrong princess. Him vampire, us slayer, thus him dead.”
“This is more complicated than this and you perfectly know that.”
“No it's not, now step aside.”
“You know I can't let you do that.”
“You're gonna have a hard time to try and stop me.”
“Listen to me, I didn't lie to you, Faith. I-”
“Faith.”
They both turned to look at the groggy watcher who just called Faith's name.
“What more do you need?!” Faith exclaimed, pointing out the watcher on the floor.
“It's not him. He didn’t do it.”
“She doesn't know. She's blinded by love.”
Faith's gaze darkened at the thought that the watcher’s words evoked.
“No Faith don't, please, trust me.”
Buffy received a huge hit on the cheek instead. She rubbed her jaw. ##How am I gonna do that? How am I gonna get her back now?##
“I’ve told you everything, Faith.”
“Liar!” Faith launched herself on Buffy again. The blonde slayer mostly parried her attacks more than hit back. Faith threw her against the wall and headed straight towards the vampire who was still in a daze.
She was stopped once again by Buffy who grabbed her from behind, blocking her arms.
“Faith please listen to me.”
Faith tried to head-butt her but Buffy avoided it and pushed the brunette farther away from Angel and was once again in between them.
“Please, you don't understand!”
“I don't need to understand Buffy. He's gotta die.”
“Not for a kiss!”
Faith punched her very hard as the simple thought of it got her out of herself.
Buffy sadly smiled, “I know what Xander told you, I know what you think but it's not that. It was... it was the first time... it was an accident and I know it and-”
“Don't bullshit me, Buffy!”
“I'm not. I swear, it was just...” ##God how can I explain that? How can I get her to believe me?##
Faith looked even madder at Buffy's hesitation.
“So, you gonna step aside now or do I have to make you?”
“Why is it so hard for you to believe me now?”
“Because you just keep lying to me and screwing me!”
“I never did that. I mean, I promised you I wouldn’t lie to you now and I did not... You know what happened between us in the past has nothing to do with this. I mean...” ##How could it not? God I think I'm losing my mind. And most importantly I'm losing her again. It can’t happen. Absolutely can’t. ##
“He didn't do anything bad, you have to believe me.”
“I guess the hundreds of people he killed don’t agree with that, B.”
“You know this isn't your reason for doing this. And I just can't let you do that for that reason.”
“Again, I don't need a reason for offing a demon. Just doing my job. Now step aside, this is your last warning.”
“Can't do that.”
Faith moved forward firmly, Buffy grabbed her arms and they struggled to get to the vampire.
“Faith, stop now! I don't wanna fight you.”
“Then get out of my way!”
“Faith please-” Buffy didn't finish as she had to block Faith's fist and she hit her at the same time to make her back off.
Faith rubbed her jaw with an incredulous look on her face. Buffy felt bad, she swallowed.
“I'm sorry.”
“You hit me?”
“I don't wanna sound lame but you started it. I didn’t have a choice.”
“You hit me... for him?”
“And I'm sorry, but I just can't let you do that. Faith, please you have to believe me, if I thought for one minute that Angel might be a threat to anyone, you or one of the gangs, I'd staked him myself. But this isn't the case.”
Faith shook her head and moved forward again. She didn’t want to listen to any of this anymore. Buffy grabbed her arms and they struggled for a while to push the other aside.
In the meantime Gwendolyn Post had come to.
“I don't want to hit you again, Faith, I won’t do that.”
“Then fucking step aside!”
“No. He didn’t hurt anyone.”
“What about your teacher Miss Calendar, do you think she’d agree with you?”
“You already knew all of that before. This isn't your reason today and I can’t let you act on that. I'm sorry Faith but you have to trust me.”
“Screw you B!”
“You said you believed in me.”
“Like you cared?! You never cared!” Faith took a deep breath as she felt a few tears gathering in the back of her eyes. It made her even madder.
“He's evil Buffy, he's gotta die.”
Faith took Buffy by the shoulders to make her move aside and they struggled again while Gwen Post opened the trunk to seize the glove.
“Finally.”
Buffy looked aside with instinct and saw the watcher put on the glove.
“Taou huogan maqachte milgaing. Be mine, the power of Mynhégon.”
Faith looked in disbelief, “What's going on?”
Gwendolyn Post smirked, “Faith, a word of advice: you're an idiot.” She aimed at the slayers and they both felt themselves being pushed aside just in time by Angel who got slightly burnt on his side and remained in a daze in a corner.
Gwendolyn Post smiled, she aimed at them again while the slayers were already up, Faith rolled onto one side and Gwendolyn aimed at her. In the meantime Buffy had rolled over in the opposite direction.
“Tauo freim!” Gwen said while trying to reach the running brunette with her thunder shot.
“There's nothing you can do to me now. I’ve got the glove; I’ve got the power.”
“Do you know what your mistake was?”
Gwen turned aside in disbelief at the voice only to have her arm twisted backwards by the blonde slayer.
“Trying to come between Faith and I.”
Gwen Post screamed as Buffy, in one sharp move, cut her arm. The slayer was pushed backwards when the watcher disappeared in a shriek as she burst into flames. The glove, intact, fell on the floor.
Buffy after a slight tremor immediately looked back to the center of the room. Faith was staring at her while breathing hard, then she looked beside her, at the lying vampire who just saved both their lives.
Buffy took a deep breath as she slowly moved forward, she was unsure of the brunette's reaction.
Faith was still staring at Angel who was vaguely coming to. She still had her stake in hand, she squeezed it strongly.
“Faith.”
Faith closed her eyes tightly, as if to block Buffy's voice and the gentleness in her tone.
The dark haired slayer exhaled loudly and dropped her stake. Then started to walk away from the vampire... Their gaze met again as Buffy moved forward, “I'm just... gonna check on him.”
Faith looked like she was disconnected. Buffy wasn't even sure she was listening so much her gaze seemed in the void.
Faith looked aside as Buffy walked to Angel and made him sit against the wall, the burnt wasn't too bad.
Faith walked to the glove and stared at it. Buffy got up and turned around.
##I'm so sorry. She must feel.... I.... I'll do anything to make her feel better I...## Buffy took a deep breath.
“Faith it.... She fooled us all. Even Giles. It’s-”
“Fuck you B.” Faith’s tone was calm. She turned around and Buffy saw the tears in the back of her eyes.
“Faith it's, look I, it didn't mean-”
“You love him. Don't lie.”
“It is NOT what you think. You have to believe me.”
“Tell me you don't love him and I swear I will beat the crap out of you right now.”
“It's not what matters Faith.”
Buffy moved closer and tried to reach her but Faith shoved her off.
“Don't touch me!”
A tear fell on her cheek.
Buffy couldn't help but try and reach her again; she couldn't stand seeing her cry.
“I'm just so fucking stupid, I'm an idiot, she said it.”
“She was evil Faith. She had us all fooled.”
##God I hate her for what she did to Faith. Another person that broke her trust; wasn't the moment but I so did not. I mean, never meant to but God what if... What if I can’t get her back now? I can’t have her walk away from me. I really can't. I know that.##
“Faith I-”
“I hate you, Buffy.”
Buffy remained still. It broke her heart to hear the sadness in Faith's voice as she perfectly knew everything in her attitude, in her gaze and in her tone showed the exact opposite.
“Faith.”
“Don't... Don't say anything cause... I'm gonna believe it then. And I'm gonna realize how stupid I am to do so.”
“You're not stupid and you can believe me and-”
“Shut up! Don't open your mouth anymore, don't talk to me, don’t say a word! I don't want to believe you. You’re gonna make me believe,” Faith's voice cracked with emotions and more tears fell on her cheek, “If you say anything, I'm gonna believe again that I mattered. That you really cared.”
“I did, God Faith please believe me.” ##What can I do, God what, how? How can let her know...##
Faith closed her eyes like it hurt and Buffy's tears came running in her eyes too.
“All this time I thought I was so pissed off at you and that I hated you. And the first thing I did when I knew was try and get here. I thought I would piss you off, ruin your life or try, fucked up your relationships, fucked up everything I could for you, but the first minute I saw you I just... I melted once again. You made me weak. Just like you always did and I hate you for that.... I hate you for getting over me when I never did. You forgot about me, you fell in love again and I just... never could. No matter how many men I put in between us,”
The others burst in at this moment, they looked at the scene and slightly figured out what might have happened with the watcher.
“I still could feel you and no one else... Look at what you’ve made of me Buffy.” Faith let herself slid against the wall in abandon.
“Err Buffy? Did she just have a blow on the head or did we miss something?”
Xander didn't dare to move forward.
“Buffy?”
Buffy looked at Angel who was now perfectly conscious and staring at her.
Faith lowered her head in between her hands.
Buffy swallowed, “She's talking about New York. She’s talking about her and me there.”
The others frowned.
“How we were together.”
Faith looked up at her. The slayers looked oblivious of the slight gasps and opened mouths around them.
“How we fell in love... so much.”
Buffy moved closer and squat in front of Faith.
“Faith I-”
Faith got up, trying to avoid Buffy's hands or even her gaze on her, as if it hurt.
“Faith? Faith?!” Buffy called but the brunette ran away.
“Buffy?” Angel asked again, with disbelief and confusion. Buffy stared for a short while at the exit the brunette slayer just took.
##I know now. I know.##
“I'm sorry,” she said as she turned around to her friends, to her Angel, “I'm sorry.” And she left running without more glances, knowing she couldn't reply to their questions now. The urgency wasn't there.
She made a stop at her place to take something and ran to Faith's motel room, praying that the brunette hadn’t leave town yet.
She was in front of her door and could feel Faith was still here. She took a deep breath.
She knocked at the door. No responses.
She knocked again.
“Faith? Please open the door.”
She knocked again but still no responses.
Inside Faith was staring at the door; she couldn't move from her bed, she felt actually scared. Not a demony fear or any such things but scared of being weak again. She was actually trying to gather the courage to leave at that moment, not understanding why she still hadn’t when she felt so much that she couldn't stay, couldn't trust anyone but her. She was trying to gather the courage to start living her life again the way she'd lived it for the last two years.
She fought hard to resist the urge to open the door. She didn't want this anymore. She remained still.
There were no more knocks on the door, no calling but she heard a noise and soon she saw one then several other letters being slid under her door. She didn't move. She heard Buffy walked back the few stairs that led to her room. Faith waited for a few minutes just to be sure she was gone and got up to pick up the letters, in the order they'd been slid. She recognized them. Those were the letters with her name on it, the religious letters she'd seen in Buffy's room when Buffy had given her the letter, the first one.
Faith swallowed. She stood still for a while and finally headed toward the small bathroom beside which was the trashcan and she dropped the letters in and sat back on her bed. She kept staring at her trashcan for at least five minutes. She sighed and got up to pick the letters again.
She sat on her bed once again, back against the headboard, staring at these letters for another moment.
She finally took the first one; they’d been closed for a while and hadn’t been reopened.
Faith put the others aside and started unwrapping it.
