PART 6
Buffy was standing straight in the mansion, staring at the vampire she just chained against the wall. Trying hard to wake up from this dream. Trying hard to understand what was happening.
The vampire was curled up on his feet.
“Angel?”
##It can't be him. It... How could it be real?##
She slowly walked closer. She could hear the vampire's nervous breathing.
“Angel.”
She was very close to him, she watched herself tentatively reach for his shoulder, “Angel?”
He moved abruptly with a wild growl and she stepped backwards shakily as it hit her for real; it was really happening, it was him, no matter what was left of him.
She let herself slide against the wall, her heart giving a jump at each new growl of the newly returned vampire.
##Why? Why is it happening? Faith and now... How can I do that? It's too much, it's too much.##
She broke down crying for a good five minute.
##I have to pull myself together. Get a grip Buffy. I can't crack now. It's just too messy. There must be a reason. I can't let him... What if the others find out...? I have to understand first why he's back and how. ##
Buffy stared for another minute at the floor, at the black trace of Angel's return on earth, then she got up and left.
Her mind was crowded with thoughts of Angel; she was trying so hard to understand why he was here and also what it was doing to her to see him again. She'd had so many dreams of him. But right now she could absolutely not tell what she was feeling towards this. It was way too confusing, and the conditions for his reappearance were as disturbing as the events surrounding his death.
She was in such deep thoughts when she opened the library's door that she had, for an instant, forgotten who else had been back into her life recently. Her heart rose in her chest and she simply turned around, hiding behind the wall outside the library, just the time to calm down. She felt hyper right now. Like her heart was beating too fast. Too many things happening.
She looked by the door's window, Faith hadn't seen her, and she couldn't possibly have heard her either since, even from her spot, Buffy could hear the rock tune that played in Faith's discman.
Buffy became still for a moment while her eyes wandered on the brunette slayer's body.
##She always loved to dance, look at her; swaying in rhythm, she always had such a good rhythm. She's always been so beautiful and...## Buffy shook her head and took a deep breath.
##I gotta get her out of my head for now. It's too crowded in here, gotta deal with Angel now. God what if she learns... The others, I can predict their bad reactions, but Faith... What will she do? God I wish so much I could tell her... I could tell somebody but..... I gotta find out first.##
She took deep breaths and walked in. The brunette still didn't notice her.
Buffy reached for the brunette's shoulder but Faith was so much into her music that she instinctively spun around at the touch and punched Buffy's face with the back of her hand. Buffy slightly stumbled backwards before steadying herself.
“Buffy?! Oh I'm sorry.” Faith said as she moved closer to the blonde slayer's face, Buffy was rubbing her jaw. Faith reached out for her face, “Are you ok?”
Buffy slightly froze for a moment at Faith's touch on her.
Faith noticed, “Sorry, habit.”
“No, it's... it's ok, it's.”
##How can I get her out of my head when a simple touch sends me away? And how come a simple touch does this to me? I gotta focus.##
“So, what are you doing here?”
“Well, I couldn't sleep so I figured I'd, uh, cram for my French test. So you’re free.”
Faith smiled, “Cool, means I still have a couple of hours to have some real fun. I was getting keyed up in here.”
“I noticed. Well, so yes, free to go now.”
“Ok, see you later then.”
“Yeah.”
Faith walked a few steps then turned around, “Buffy?”
“Yes.” Buffy turned to look at her.
“Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Oh, yeah, it doesn't hurt anymore.”
“No, I wasn’t talking- I mean... You seem... You don't seem very good.”
Buffy swallowed, ##She knows me so well. She can always tell. God I wish... She's expectant... I wish I could tell her.##
“No, I'm fine. A little edgy that’s all.”
Faith nodded, “Too bad you can't come in patrol with me. That would be fun then.”
“Next time.”
##Right now I gotta find out why my ex-lover came back from hell, but as soon as it's done, sure, why not hang out with my ex ex-lover... That would complete the fun I'm having this week. ##
“Ok, see you B. I'm on my way to some intense ass kicking.”
“Ok, knock yourself out. Not literally though.”
“Yeah. Later.”
##Ok, where do I search? Right: books, let's start the fun.##
~~
##Alright, the plan wasn’t to fall asleep on a pile of books on Acathla and raise suspicions from Giles. But I don't think he did though. But what he said... It’d be like... a monster, void of humanity to survive this... Hundreds of years in Hell. This is where I sent the man I loved... Soulful with that. I can't help wishing Willow hadn't succeed to re-ensoul him. That must have been worse... Being in a Hellish dimension with his soul... I don't know. I don't know what his soul means; I don't even know if it's Angel or Angelus that I'm dealing with. I'm even wondering if it's any of the two... What if he’s just... a beast now, what if he killed that boy in the woods, what if... I can’t think straight. It feels like my head is going to explode. I just... If I could talk... But the others are gonna freak out and Giles... If only I could tell Faith but... right now I can’t be beside her; it just confuses me more, I can’t help that. But I need to, God, I’m going crazy I- oh my! It’s time for my appointment with Platt.##
Buffy leaned against a wall for a minute, very thoughtfully.
##Maybe it’s a sign. I could, no; I HAVE to tell someone otherwise I’m gonna crack up and I don’t want to break down again like I did in New York. I don’t ever want to feel that way again. Maybe that’s why I can’t talk to her... But him I can, right? After all that’s what he’s here for. And God knows I really need to tell someone, anyone...##
Buffy walked firmly to her appointment and started revealing her ‘secrets’ until she realised Platt was way too dead to listen. And so went away her ‘relieving hope’. But Oz’s guilt as well since it was a daylight kill. That was at least one good thing.
That put Angel in the clear too.
But that left them with two crimes to solve. Buffy focused on the case as to hold on and not crack up.
They all gathered at the library and as they put the pieces together their suspicions fell on Pete and Debbie, Scott's close friends.
Buffy took Willow with her to go find Debbie. She chose to avoid as much contact with Faith as she could for now because she wanted to focus on the case AND Angel for now. Debbie admitted it was Pete though she kept defending him, even knowing that he could get out of control, even with her. Buffy understood that Pete changed into a much wilder side of himself.
While they were gone, a jealous Pete provoked Oz who was locked up in his cage. At sunset both of them were in their wild self and fought heavily until the gang arrived. Faith and Willow chased after wolfy Oz and Buffy ran after Pete.
She found him in his little hideout, he had killed Debbie already. She started to fight him when a third player entered in the fight; it was Angel.
Buffy feared he might be going after her first but Angel quickly turned towards Pete and a wild, very violent fight ensued. They looked like two animals. It gave shivers to Buffy to see them fight like that.
Angel violently snapped Pete's neck. Buffy couldn't help a slight jump.
And then the stare... his stare... on her as he slowly calmed down the violent rush inside, and then slowly walked to her.
She swallowed hard, unable to speak.
“Buffy.” He let himself fall to his knees.
“Buffy.” He said like a plea as he put his hand around her waist and held her tight while sobbing against her jacket. Buffy's eyes became teary as she tried to breath, to realize.
She didn't move, she didn't hold him back. She was taken aback and almost wished it wasn't true, that it wasn't Angel. Almost wished he'd gone for her tonight and they'd fight and... Wished it wasn't him... it wasn't true, because it was. He really was back and the feeling of joy it inevitably raised in her was surrounded by a much heavier one.
After a while she helped him to get up and get out of the school, back to the mansion again. She left him in here to rest. He hadn't talked, he was very weak and she couldn't really talk either right now so she left as soon as she could.
She called the library to tell them were Pete was. The others did not really understand why she didn't come back and tell them in person, why she was already at her house. But she said she was wired because she didn’t sleep the previous night.
Faith left the high school without more words after that.
She didn't show up the next day and wasn't called for any special patrols by Buffy or Giles.
She came the following day to see how things were going and saw that Buffy was busy comforting her boyfriend over the loss of his two best friends. The slayers didn't talk and Buffy took off right after school and didn't say more to any of them.
A couple days went by.
Buffy went out of the school, in a rush as usual this week.
“Buffy!” Faith called her.
“Oh. Faith, err hi, how are you doing?”
“5 by 5. How about you?”
“Err, ok. Look, I gotta-”
“I know, be somewhere where I'm not.”
“No. What are you talking about?”
“It's cool B. I understand. In fact that's why I’m here.”
##No but, why does she have that look on her face? What's to understand?##
“I don't get it, Faith.”
“I know you've been avoiding me these days and all. It's ok. I just- I think I should just leave town, it'd be better that-”
“No! I mean, no, I'm not avoiding you.”
“Please Buffy, I'm not stupid. You always run somewhere else when I'm here. You don't want to patrol anymore, plus... you look really sad these days. I think it'd be best for everyone.”
“No, please Faith I swear... look, yes I'm busy with... something and I-. But I swear it has nothing to do with you, I swear. I didn't avoid you deliberately. It's really not about you.”
“Then what is it about? What's the big secret?”
##I wish I could tell her but.... I'm scared of her reaction and.... I can't.##
“It's, no big secret. It's just-”
“B, it's cool, I won't take it bad.”
Buffy took the brunette's hands in hers, “It's not about you Faith. Please, stay.”
Faith stared at her and Buffy shivered, she let go of the brunette's hands.
“You really want me to stay, Buffy?”
##God, I'm afraid I really really do. That would make it so much simpler if she would leave but... I don't want her to.##
“Yes, Faith. Don't worry about it ok, we'll hang out soon. Hey why don't you come at the library tomorrow afternoon, we'll train a little.”
“I don’t know, Buffy... I-”
“Please, you’d do me a favour as it would spare me to have to work on Cordelia's campaign for Homecoming. You can’t let me face that, can you?”
Faith slightly smiled, “That's a matter of life and death then huh?”
Buffy nodded with the same smile.
“Ok. I'll come.”
“See you tomorrow then.”
“Ok, later B.”
##Cool. Damn I AM really happy, ain’t I? And actually impatient? I try not to be too much with her as to not -miss- her but I still very much do. And I'm not supposed to be especially happy to see her but I am. It's definitely not good. Mostly if I can't get that smile out of my face. Oh right; Angel, there, smile is gone. But then it means.... No, it doesn't mean anything, only that it's complicated. Alright, gotta go see him now.##
