Chapter 23

will we burn in heaven
like we do down here
will the change come
while we're waiting

everyone is waiting

-- Sarah McLachlan


Having been guided to a chair under the guise of having a borderline concussion, Buffy let her head fall back and sighed, more than a little irritation bubbling from the depths of her being. She was beginning to understand Faith more and more since this `bond' had
been established, however she was yet to understand the grand notion of Faith's that skipping out when things got tough was the way to go.

It frustrated her to no end. It always had.

"I suppose we should get Giles and Angel." She murmured, trying to keep her emotions under control while they waged a war between overt concern and just sheer annoyance at Faith's apparent blatant disregard for the seriousness of the situation.

Surely she knew how closely her life was tied to the survival of Sunnydale? Why would she be so reckless with it?

Dawn slowly nodded – probably still confused from the whole string of events. She left her chair and made a beeline for the study. The rest of them were thrown into silence for a few moments, before Xander spoke, echoing Buffy's thoughts with almost frightening
precision.

"*Why* does she always do that?" He snapped, slumping down in the chair beside her, rubbing his forehead with frustration. "Run?" He looked up. "Does she expect us to run after her or what?"

"I think she's counting on us *not* going after her, Xan." Buffy answered.

"But surely she knows we have to!" He retorted quickly in exasperation. "What part of her being tied to Ammitus does she not get?"

"Oh I don't know." Anya looked up from another of Giles' books. "The part where she's going to die a horrible death inflicted by her own hand, sell her soul to a Demon that not even Meph wants a part of and quite casually ignores-"

"-who's `Meph'?" Willow asked, breaking her silence, her hand firmly clasped in Tara's.

"Anya's penchant for nicknames…" Xander offered "Meph – Mephistopheles."

Willow blinked. "The Devil? You were on a first – no – chummy nickname basis with the Devil?"

"I *was*. Can't say he'd be too happy knowing I'm living with the prey now."

"Still! Anya! You had a nickname for the King of Hell!"

Anya cringed, tilting her head. "Well, *technically* he preferred `Lord'. And yes, of course I was on a first name basis with him." She shrugged. "I dealt in torture. When I needed a bit of inspiration, where did you think we went?"

"The master of torture himself." Xander finished the sentence with a grand gesture to the floor. "An, seriously, sometimes you freak me out."

"Oh I know baby." She said, glancing up at him again, this time very suggestively. "You love it though. Besides-" Her eyes darted across to Buffy. "As interesting as my life is, it doesn't solve our immediate problem."

"I know… " Buffy didn't want to say she was actually enjoying the borderline humorous banter between them all. "I don't know if there's anything we can do until Faith's ready."

Xander scowled. "Yeah, while she's risking all of our lives forgive me if I'm not ecstatic about it."

"At least, I suppose… I'll know if anything untoward happens…" She trailed off, then pointed to her head. "Up here."

As if on cue, voices were heard from outside the room seconds before Giles and Angel entered, Dawn following closely behind. Angel's demeanor was serious, as it always had been, and he was scanning the room carefully, as if hoping to elicit some answers for the latest escape from the molecules and dust in the air.

No, Angel's behavior was not out of the ordinary. It was Giles' expression that set Buffy the most on edge. His eyes had fixed on her the moment he'd entered and remained on her now. The expression on his face was unreadable, yet intense. Something significant must have happened in that study.

"Should we go after her?" She asked him quietly.

As if breaking through his thoughts, Giles suddenly blinked, dropped his head and turned away, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"No, not yet." He said. "This can be done without her." He nodded his head at Tara and Willow, handing over a small box. With a quick squeeze of Willow's hand she let go, took hold of the container and studied it. "Is this what you need?" Giles asked.

Tara nodded. "Yes, this is perfect."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes." She flashed Willow a reassuring smile. "Baby don't be scared, I'll be fine."

Willow's response lay somewhere between a scoff, a sniff and a laugh. "Shhyeah." She said. "If you're not I'll kill you."

With a quick, soft kiss Tara shifted into the centre of the room, where Buffy had stood the previous night. Some of the marks remained from that spell, but Tara slowly, carefully brushed them away, whispering words to herself that nobody could hear.

She closed her eyes, crossed her legs and reached out her arms. Behind her Willow lit six short candles on a tray - one blue, one purple, one green, one yellow, one red and one pure white.

"Willow…" She whispered. "Now."

Slowly, Willow rose, also mouthing words under her breath, but to different time than Tara. She circled Tara, carefully placing a different candle at equal positions around her. Finally, and taking enormous care not to step into the circle that had been formed,
Willow leaned forward, holding the white candle out to Tara's right hand.

Still with her eyes closed Tara took hold of the candle and drew it close to her body. Buffy could see hers and Willow's lips now moving in sync, speaking the same incantation that was slowly creating a bridge for Tara's mind to enter the Ether. Willow reached into the box they had been given by Giles and removed a fine powder. With
precision she released it from between her fingertips, joining the candles together in a thin, visible thread.

Then, lifting her eyes to the ceiling she took the remaining powder into her fingers, kissed them, and tossed it the air directly above Tara.

"Be safe…" She whispered.

Tara didn't hear her.


* * * * *

The beauty of the Ethereal was that it existed everywhere and nowhere at the same time. There were no definable points – no means of identifying your position from one moment to the next – no `entrance' or `exit' as such. Nor was there anything as simple as `up', `down', `left', or `right'. In fact almost every rule that humans lived by in their limited expanse of space was totally irrelevant. Limitless in size, and yet infinitesimally small, each pocket could be bent and stretched and superimposed into any shape the being controlling it desired

The Ether was ultimately controlled for the individual though an extreme capacity for mental discipline. Without total control of the thoughts flitting through the mind, one could find themselves tossed unceremoniously around different realities like a sock in a
tumble dryer. Given a human's complex pattern of thought coupled with a general lack of self-control, in the millions of years since humans had existed on the earth, only a handful of them could navigate Ethereally. Most of them were elders in the magics.

Tara knew the Ether well. It hadn't always been that way, but now she could navigate it as if it were the streets near her house.

As the faint, cool tingle of the present touched her mind, Tara found her thoughts wandering to Faith, but she quickly shut them down. Any being thinking of Faith right now could appear beside her, behind her..

No, Tara wasn't there for Ammitus – as much as that part of her wanted to see the evil for herself. She knew she couldn't. There was no way she could face off with such a powerful demon.

She took a slow, spiritual breath and released it, clearing the remaining clutter from her mind. Then, with careful precision she created herself a history. She drew forth into her being the responsibility of souls – keeper of the gates of heaven and hell. She sought out deep sadness, a great injustice and the tiniest amount of fear. Even as she did so the darkness began to fold around her, seething and lurching like waves in a storm.

The darkness hadn't abated when she first felt old, worn wood at her fingertips. In those first few moments, she was searching for something to look at, but could only see blackness. Confused, she reached forward again, sliding her fingers over what seemed to be a table, curling them around the edge. Tara realigned her sight and looked down, unable to stop a gasp from leaving her lips.

She had materialized into worlds – complete with wildlife and spectacular scenery. She had materialized into equally horrible scenes with demons and some of the most vulgar and ferocious monsters possible.

Never before had she materialized into something so… bare.

Physics was a concept that, quite simply, did not apply in the Ether. However, in most cases the human mind is too simple to exist outside this reality, outside these laws, so that regardless of the truth, a human would insist the properties still existed. As long as certain precautions were taken a human could, for the most part, exist for a brief time in the Ether without going utterly insane.

Right now, Tara was finding the absence of a floor very distracting.

A small set of ornate scales sat barely inches away from her fingers. Tara eyed them carefully, then pulled the fabric of this area of space around her more tightly, looking for the owner.

"He's not here." A voice sounded from behind her. Tara turned around, and found herself face to face with of the most beautiful women she had ever seen.

She had eyes and hair as dark as the Ether itself, her slightly olive complexion and full lips were framed by chiseled features and thin, clearly defined eyebrows.

"Aurelia." Tara spoke the name softly. The woman's face lit up in a smile, though still a sad one.

"It's good to see you, Aram Cara."

Tara nodded. "And you." Then she sighed slightly. "Although I wish it were in better circumstances."

Aurelia turned her head downwards. She moved to the old chair in the middle of the nothingness, and sat down gently. "I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this." When Aurelia looked up again her eyes shone with a hundred lifetimes worth of unshed tears. "It's hard to imagine, all those deaths…All those people dying because of me."

Tara shook her head. "Not because of you, Aurelia. Because of Ammitus."

"He's found her, hasn't he?" She murmured.

"I think so."

"And how did you know?"

"I came to her through other means. My meeting with Faith was indirect."

Aurelia tilted her head. "Indirect? How can that be?"

Tara was careful not to allow the memories of her past to creep into this place, let she lose contact with it. She closed her eyes.

"It has been a while for you, hasn't it Laur'el?" Aurelia's voice melted warmly into her ears, causing Tara to swallow involuntarily. She was referring to how gingerly Tara was approaching her presence in the Ether. She nodded slowly. It had been a long time.

It had been an even longer time since she had been called by that name… Such a long time. Many, many lifetimes ago.

Tara opened her eyes again. "I was surprised to see you." She said, her frown deepening. "You have sacrificed to come here."

This time it was Aurelia's turn to close her eyes and nod. Tara could feel her control tightening on the space, ensuring she could stay. "Tell me Laur'el," She whispered, "How is it, after all this time you would come upon this indirectly?"

"There are two." Tara finally answered, hearing Aurelia's very soft intake of breath. "I do not fully understand it myself, but…there are two."

"And you are connected to the other?"

Tara allowed herself a smile, but kept thoughts of Willow out of her head.

"In a way." She said, the corner of her mouth twitching. It made Aurelia's own smile return.

"Laur'el, please… I have been in darkness for lifetimes. How long has it been since we have spoken?" She tilted her head "Tell me."

Tara chuckled softly. "The slayer…has a companion." She answered. "I am connected to her."

Aurelia's smile widened further "Her?" She repeated. Tara nodded. "So I am no longer the only one."

Tara chuckled. "No, you are not." There was silence, then, "Though-" Tara's eyes grew distant as if she were staring out into the blackness, seeking answers or truth from a place that didn't exist. "…
I feel my time with her is to be only short."

"Ah." Aurelia nodded. "As always, Laur'el. As it was for us. You will be needed elsewhere. She will find love again."

"As you did?"

Aurelia sighed. "Ours was love born of circumstance. I never meant for this to happen."

"There is no way you would know Aurelia." Tara moved forward, gradually becoming more comfortable with the space surrounding them, remembering all the practice she had had over the years. "You can't blame yourself."

"But now…Ammitus has found it's key. It could be the end, of all of us."

Tara kept her fingers on the edge of the desk, drawing on their imperfections to keep her focused. "It doesn't have to be." She said, pulling at Aurelia's gaze, forcing her to look up. "I am here to speak with him."

The moments of reflection and conversation, if they could have been described as such given they were taking place in a space that was without time, began to fade away. Tara watched Aurelia's eyes fill with tears once again, and watched as she, too, lowered her head and sought out the desk to centre her.

"He isn't here." She murmured, echoing her statement from before.

"Where is he?"

She shook her head. "He has gone to stop this… the only way he knows how." She focused her attention on her fingertips, inching them across the table towards Tara's. "He can't kill Ammitus…." She whispered. Then, when her fingers were almost touching Tara's, she looked up. "But he can kill its prey."

Fear and anger boiled up from the pits of Tara's stomach, threatening to wind its way into her mind. She closed her eyes tightly, fingers all but boring into the table. It took all of her will just to keep her in that space.

"I have to stop him." Still with her eyes closed she lowered her head, sharing her sadness, her regret at what was about to happen…who Aurelia was about to lose. Instinctively she closed the small distance between their fingers and tears spilled down her cheeks at
the sensation – albeit Ethereal – of touching her again…after all those eons.

"I know you do." She heard Aurelia's voice this time by her ear, and only then did Tara notice that the table was no longer under her hand.

They had left the space and were now existing on their own.

"I'm so sorry Aram Cara." She murmured.

"I know my love. I know."

Tara felt a hand brush her cheek, a breath in her hair and an instant later, everything went black.

* * * * * *

"Tara?"

"Is she okay?"

The voices swirled around her head in the blackness. As the Ethereal melted away from her everything became cold, and hard. Where there had been nothing Tara could now feel the matter surrounding her…could sense the very atoms moving, in the air, through the floor…she could feel them colliding with her in a million tiny pinpricks.

But then there was that hand…that voice…

"Tara, honey, open your eyes."

A sob greeted her ears and another hand reached her cheek. Her head was guided into somebody's lap and soft kisses were being pressed to her forehead. The feeling of the atoms melted away…

…Tara knew where she was.

"Willow…" She murmured.

"It's okay baby, it's okay."

Despite returning to normalcy the memory of the room clung to her…of Aurelia's words. Tara's eyes shot open and she had to shield them from the brightness of the light. She sat upright amid calls of concern and helping hands, but struggled against them.

"No time! He's c-c-coming for her." She stammered, still trying to regain control of her tongue. "The Account…ant. He's coming for F-Faith. He's going to k-kill her!"

They had no time.

They had *no* time at all.

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